TR's Top Ten Superbowl Commercials of 2013

By Luke Y. Thompson in Daily Lists, TV
Monday, February 4, 2013 at 6:00 am

...and I'm back.

5. Jack in the Box - "Hot Mess."

Even once you accept the running gag that a fast-food CEO has a giant clown head, there is so much wrong with this. The notion that he was in an '80s hair metal band. The fact that he's showing his kid a video where his mom flashed her tits at him for the first time. The idea that "Hot Mess" is a good name for a food item, and is based on a terrible fake song. And a final image of the product that looks indigesteriffic.

I can't wait to try it.

4. Iron Man 3.

Having teased a conventional trailer and lots of scenes of a severely beaten-down Tony Stark, Marvel pulled a happy bait and switch by giving us a mini-scene, in which Iron Man tries to calculate how many falling bodies he can catch from an exploding Air Force One. It's a perfect mix of tension and character, and leaves you wanting more.

As for the footage we were led to expect - that's on Facebook following a very clever Robert Downey Jr. pun. I do believe he's winning me over again.

3. Time Warner Cable - The Walking Dead.

Seeing the family basically play with the actual zombies from the show is like the ultimate toy-collecting dream, but having Daryl Dixon apologize for messing up a freshly painted wall is the perfect punchline. It's nice to see such an intense show poke fun where appropriate.

2. Fast & Furious 6.

There are numerous reasons to give this the penultimate spot, so let's lay out a couple:

- It's the only major movie spot that was entirely new. Nothing had been shown before, and the only hints that it was coming were on Vin Diesel's Facebook page.

-I didn't even like part 5 that much, but I now want to see this. Mainly because it looks like they actually spend a lot of the movie in their vehicles this time.

-When was the last time a sixth movie in a series looked any good at all? Revenge of the Sith, maybe? And that was one you felt obligated to see. This one has to work harder to persuade, and it's doing a decent job of it.

-"We're talking vehicular warfare." It looks not just Ludacris, but ludicrous too, with cars flying through the air at tanks and planes.

There's a lot to be said for surprise, and none of the other trailers really had it.

1. Doritos - "Goat 4 Sale."

A guy buys a goat because it shares his love of Doritos, then gets pissed off because it won't stop eating his Doritos. Also, the guy has a scraggly beard like a goat, so maybe he feels kinship. Then he tries to steal back his Doritos, and the goat screams like a girl, then kicks his ass.

Because that's what happens when you buy a goat for superficial snack-food reasons. As people tend to do. I like that it warned me.

Most of the commercials can be found here - which ones did I miss the boat on? Feel free to embed them in comments and let me know. And did anybody see the Kratos one on TV?

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