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So how are the giants? They're about what you probably feared. Scenes in which we anticipate them are fun, and Singer goes to town with a few underwater POV shots that are impressive (he's also fond of rain, just because rain looks good if you film it in 3D. Seriously, everything they do in this movie fades from day, to dark and rainy, to night, just because hey, 3D rain!). But then you actually see the giants, and they have major "uncanny valley" issues with dead eyes - that their leader has a second head resembling Gollum only calls attention to the issue, because performance-capture wise, it is so, so not Gollum. It doesn't help that they aren't written very well; we saw character posters for Fee, Fye, Foe, Fumm and Fallon, but I still have no idea what distinguishes them as characters besides Fallon being the leader and one of the other four wanting to be. (I don't remember which one, and it doesn't matter.) It's funny that they all have Northern Irish accents, and I mean strong 'uns - Liam Neeson sounds like Alec Guinness by comparison. If the UK had our level of talk radio insanity, somebody would be up in arms about it being an IRA metaphor or something. But really, this movie does not merit that level of scrutiny, despite its gob-smackingly stupid final moments that suggest a really bizarre potential sequel may have been hoped for.
And it's frustrating, because even when Singer is bad, he has enough good small moments that you know he could do better. A scene between McGregor and Tucci in which they argue over who the hero of the story is (both think it's them, and neither is right) hits the right tone, and Jack's first giant slaying in an oversized medieval kitchen is genuinely exciting and fun. But the whole thing reeks of obligation, and it's no fun at all to say that this is easily Singer's worst film.
What does that mean for X-Men? Hard to say. It's difficult to imagine any director turning Jack into a fantastic film. But it definitely has me hesitant for his next.
When will people just accept it: Singer's a bad director. He has a couple flukes that are good, but if you take his films as a collection, there's a lot of awful (or a lot of offal, depending on your point of view) and very little that works.
His X-Men movies suck (watch them again. They aged poorly.) and his Superman movie sucked. He's not the right guy for the job. You might consider Uwe Boll again if you're considering Singer.
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It just frustrates me that they didn't do the ACTUAL "Jack the Giant Slayer" story from Cornish legend instead of stupidly conflating it with "Jack and the Beanstalk," though nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the audience. The original story is freaking badass: a big strong country lad goes around the country killing giants using his wits and strength. The giants even have more memorable names (Cormoran, Blunderbore, Rebecks, Thunderdel and Galigantus versus Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum whatever)
Though I will say there is precisely one interesting take on Jack and the Beanstalk, which was Brian Henson's Jack & the Beanstalk: The Real Story. In the miniseries, Jack's modern-day descendent finds his way back to the giant's land, where he is tried for his ancestor's murder of the original giant. It was quite a fun, subversive idea.
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When the hell did Singer ever claim to " bridge the gap between the Richard Donner movies.. and something resembling comics continuity"?! I never heard such a thing and he sure the hell didn't try. Spacey was wasted as a Hackman wanna be, and Hackman was never a good Luthor. Though it wasn't Hackman's fault and Luthor hadn't been reinvented as the modern businessman we know today. Still, he wasn't that lame a character. Superman Returns utterly failed trying to be all at once a remake, a sequel, and a reboot. Something I fear X-men: Daze of Future Past will become. Yes. I know that's not how the original was spelt. Though considering how far from the comics it will probably be and what a mess it will become while trying to sync with the old films that haven't aged well, that title would be more appropriate.
So color me unsurprised that this Singer movie is a royal mess too. Just like the superhero bandwagon, the fairytale bandwagon is hot right now. And it looks like Singer has created another muddled mess. Though in theory, I don't think a more serious yet still tongue in cheek take on this story is a bad idea. Yet from the trailer and this review, it sure failed on execution. You know, like how an X-men and a Superman movie should be able to be amazing in concept, but Hollywood keeps fucking up the executions over and over. How the hell do you fuck up Superman so badly?!
Again, I got nothing but bad feelings for Daze of Future Past. I recently went to a gaming night with friends and their friends and there was a decent amount of X-men fandom there. I even had my old Genesis games. Yet the topic of the new X-men movie was rather taboo and met with almost complete disgust. And I thought I was the only one concerned. I wonder if anyone praising this sequel online has actually read any of these books or characters and is aware of what they are trying to do. Or even if they have watched the old Singer movies lately. They have not aged well.
Well, I knew this was going to happen, I liked it. Yeah, there were things in it that if you sit and think about it were corny and eye-rolling but the kids and I had a good time, and so did the audience I saw it with. One that was full with families. A good deal of them even sat through the credits. I really liked the geek moment when Ewan McGregor's character mentions off screen - "I have a bad feeling about this... A couple of good jump-out-of-you seat scares causing both my kids to react just so. I had fun, wasn't disappointed and would watch it again if I came across it.
Didn't Warner Bros throw 200 million at Brian Singer to make a movie before? So they did it again because it was so successful last time?
Good write-up
I just struggle to understand how someone in Hollywood thought that; with all the potential stories out there to turn into films, that THIS was the one they wanted to tell. As the article says: its Jack and the FUCKIN Beanstalk! Who out there has been waiting for this story to be made? What is the target market? Where do they expect the narrative to go? There just doesn't seem to be any logical or artistic thought process behind it all
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" trying to create a story that would bridge the gap between the Richard Donner movies (ignoring the two nobody will admit to liking, of course) and something resembling comics continuity - taking wiseass, wig-wearing, real-estate guy Luthor and turning him into bald-and-proud millionaire Luthor, for example."
This would've been the EASIEST THING EVER. Lex gets pardoned like he did in the film, and then turns his mind to business. Superman comes back go Metropolis five years later, flies near the Daily Planet... and the camera pans up to reveal the giant LexCorp tower behind it.
Frankly, one of Singer's uncountable errors was that he stuck to the 70s version of Luthor, which no one liked outside of Gene Hackman's acting.
At least the negative reviews came out when the film was released rather than before anyone had seen it, like what happened to "John Carter" last year. Regardless, my kids still want to see this and I'm really curious to see if it is really that bad. Needless to say it seems no one will be saying anything about this film after next week when "OZ, the Great and Powerful" comes out which I've been hearing nothing but good things about. I do have a secret weapons when I see this kind of movie though, two kids (11 and 8) who tend to see a different film totally from what an adult would see and if you get sucked up into it with them, not much really bothers you.
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Watching this film answered a nagging question in my mind..........What would the Twilight series have been like if it had been directed by Bryan Singer
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Meh. I have two toddlers, so I’m not getting out to the movies anytime soon anyway, but I’ll be honest, the trailers sort of made this look like a steaming pile to me.
That said, I’ll probably pick it up when Redbox gets it if I can’t find anything better for a Friday night.
As an aside, look, I know movie theaters would hate it, but
as an experiment, I’d totally dig it as a parent of two toddlers who can’t
always find a babysitter, I would totally appreciate a movie studio releasing
some of these Summer and Christmas blockbusters to on-demand at the same time
they hit theaters. And I’d pay up to $15 to watch them, which is what two
tickets to the theater from Costco set me back.
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During the screening of the movie I went to, the children were saying that the film stunk.
Some of the theaters around here have supervised playrooms to drop your kids off to when you go see a movie.......
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SO in this medieval time, was anyone being repressed?
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/GwPZqxs.gif[/IMG]
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@rabidronnie Probably the only way I'll see it.
Now. Where is your absence excuse letter for yesterday?
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@Someguy @rabidronnie Probably next to my kid who got to bed 2 hours late the night before last and my recurring migraine :\
Nerd news, humor and self-loathing. Edited by Luke Y. Thompson
