Twenty Things Shockingly Less Expensive Than Aniplex USA's Gurren Lagann Blu Ray Set

By Brian Hanson in Anime, Daily Lists
Tuesday, June 25, 2013 at 6:00 am

10) This Autographed Photo of Tyrion Lannister Signed by Peter Dinklage, 300 Dollars

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For several hundred dollars less than the "sale price" of Gurren Lagann, you can have a signed picture of Tyrion Lannister, along with a nice quote! With a certificate of authenticity! After all, A Lannister Always Pays His Debts! I'm sorry I couldn't think of a better joke.

9) This Animation Cel From The Forgotten 1970 Hanna-Barbera Cartoon Show, Where's Huddles?, 599 Dollars

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Sure, when you buy Gurren Lagann for the MSRP of 670 dollars, you're getting 27-episodes of  quality anime action and melodrama, but for just under 600 bucks, you can also OWN a piece of legendarily forgotten animation history, by having a cel from a Hanna-Barbera cartoon show nobody knows about because it only ran for 10 episodes! This premium cel features such classic characters as Ed Huddles, Bubba McCoy and Fumbles the Dog! I sincerely hope whoever cashed a check for writing "Fumbles the Dog" is already dead so I can't track him down and cause him pain.

8) This Shitty 1992 Dodge Dynasty From Someone in Redondo Beach, 600 Dollars

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This is one of the rarer later-model Dodge Dynasties, since immediately afterwards Dodge discontinued the car and replaced it with the slightly-less-ugly-but-still-awful Dodge Stratus. And for only about 70 dollars less than the Gurren Lagann MSRP, you can get a functional car that some dude drove from Austin to Redondo Beach! And the dude who's selling it probably left his Mountain Goats mixtape on the dashboard. Sweet.

7) A "Video Greeting" From Zach Braff, 500 Dollars

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Yup, for 50 bucks less than the sale price of Gurren Lagann, you could've donated to Zach Braff's (now fully-funded, and then some) Kickstarter campaign, and you could've had him filming himself saying ANYTHING YOU WANTED. Such as, "I'm a greedy, cynical idiot who makes dumb movies that try desperately to sound profound but are just the whining, whimpering death tones of a feckless sitcom star."

6) This "Rachel Antonoff Aerial Perspective Dress," From Modcloth, 559 Dollars

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For less than the MSRP of Gurren Lagann, you ladies (and men!) could be the envy of your fashionista friends, thanks to Nerd Chic powerhouse Modcloth, designed by apparently-haute-couture New York fashion designer, Rachel Antonoff! I don't know about any of this, but my girlfriend is both repulsed and allured by this stuff!

5) 500 Bottles of Shaq Soda, 1 Dollar Each

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For less than the sale price of Gurren Lagann, you can horde any assortment of the four flavors of Soda Shaq! Who knows, maybe they'll be worth something someday. Just look at Crystal Pepsi.

I've sampled two of the flavors so far: The Vanilla Cream Soda is ehh, the Orange Cream Soda is pretty good. Also, don't try mixing them with cheap bourbon. Don't ask why I know this, just... don't do it.

4) Milton Berle's Emmy Nomination Certificate From 1961, 500 Dollars

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Of course, this is an auction site, so the price could go up. But as of this writing, for less than the price of Gurren Lagann, you could own a piece of Milton Memora-Berle-ia! You've got through the 26th, or, coincidentally, the same day that the Gurren Lagann Blu-ray set is released!

3) This Phallic-Looking Trilobite, 475 Dollars

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I did some brief research, and from what I've gathered about the Trilobite-collecting world, the creepier and scarier-looking the Trilobite, the more money people seem to be paying for them.

So, why not go another direction? For nearly 100 dollars less than Gurren Lagann, you could own this penis-shaped Trilobite fossil from nearly 400 million years ago! Scare and delight your friends with this ancient extinct hideous bug creature!

2) One Month's Rent For a One-Bedroom Apartment in the Foothills of Tucson, Arizona, 529 Dollars

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I know, I know - "why the hell would I want to live in Tucson?!" I asked myself that every day I lived there for most of my life. But Tucson is actually a pretty cool town, and this one-bedroom apartment is in a pretty good neighborhood, considering the price. Now, would I recommend living in Tucson versus paying for and watching Gurren Lagann? That is a personal choice. Put a gun to my head, though: the latter.

1) Any of the Following Exotic Pets, Such As:

This Red Fox, 425 Dollars

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Only allowed in certain states, and remember: they shit while they eat, they can never be housebroken, and their urine is so toxic, it destroys almost anything!

This Baby Indian Star Tortoise, 500 Dollars

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Wikipedia says that "Raising these animals in captivity is extremely difficult and should be left to those with tortoise experience and those willing to devote time, research, observation and foraging and growing their required food demands," so be prepared to devote your life to this tortoise! Because there's a good chance it will outlive you!

Capybara, Around 600 Dollars

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There's no price listed on purchasing a Capybara from the above-listed breeders, but apparently they go for around 600 bucks! Also, Capybara's cannot digest anything with Vitamin C, so you'll need to sprinkle it into their diet so they don't get scurvy! That's right: for less than the MSRP of Gurren Lagann, you can own a pet that could legitimately get SCURVY!

Or you could just buy Gurren Lagann on Blu-ray. It comes with a lot of cool extras. It's a free country.


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