The Boba Fett Porno Needs Your Help (and I Hate Myself for Writing Those Words)

By Luke Y. Thompson in DVDs, Movies, Nerdery, Toys
Friday, July 12, 2013 at 8:00 am

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It's SFW if you don't actually see cartoon naughty bits, right?

With an actual Boba Fett standalone movie reportedly in development, I'm a little more than a tad surprised that Axel Braun wasn't the one to rush a Boba Fett "standing at attention" movie into production. But now the master of overly literal geekgasms is going to have some competition, as new porn crowdfunding site Offbeatr is extending its reach to fill the void that sites like Kickstarter neglect. OF COURSE one of the first projects on there is a Boba Fett skin flick, in which the bounty hunter's backpack won't be the only thing onscreen with rocket-firing action.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... there lived the baddest bounty hunter in the galaxy. And his name was Boba Fett. He captured Han Solo and brought him to Jabba the Hutt's palace to collect his bounty. And what did he get for his troubles? Flung into the Sarlacc pit to rot for all of eternity. But that's not where the story ends! Oh hell no! Boba fought his way out of the pit and lived to fight and fuck another day. We follow Boba and his band of horny bounty hunter scum as they traipses the galaxy looking for love in all the wrong places. The Slave Girl quarters of Jabbas palace, the back of Boba's ship Slave One, the deserts of Tattoine. No where is off limits for Boba's libido.

The writer of the project is an artist and maker of unlicensed action figures known as Sucklord, who will create special Boba Fett XXX toys for higher-end investors. Not to play into stereotypes and all, but would it shock you greatly to know he was once featured on a reality show entitled Can't Get a Date?

No porn stars are attached as yet, but the effects people are the same team who did Axel Braun's Star Wars XXX, and the director is a porn veteran named Tony Dammit. Coincidentally, my reaction to this project is a deity named God Dammit.

Pitch video after the jump - it's totally SFW because, as mentioned before, they have no fucking actors yet (literally). Fan Fiction just got a lot more real.

(The odds of the pitch video appearing below seem to be about 50/50 - just a forewarning that there's an issue on their end, and not just an emotional one).



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