I imagine a conversation going something like this:
"Hey, we need to make a new movie. Any ideas?"
"Yeah! In fact, I have this great idea nobody's ever done bef..."
"BZZZT! Wrong! How are we going to get people to see something if they don't already know they'll like it?"
"But people say they want new stuff..."
"Sure, they SAY that. Then they go to movies based on comics that have been around forever. You can make them THINK it's new, but it can't actually BE new."
"Okay - let's remake something!"
"Now you're talking. What have we got?"
"How about Top Gun?"
"Already being done."
"Revenge of the Nerds."
"Yep, that too. Look, all the obvious ones are taken already."
"What about that one where the guy's computer falls in love with his girlfriend? Nobody's remade it yet because nobody nowadays can plausibly believe it would happen."
"Whaddaya mean? I love my computer."
"Yeah, but it doesn't, like, talk to you and stuff."
"Siri does. In fact, Siri gives me a huge goddamn boner."
"What if...and I'm just spitballing here...Scarlett Johansson were Siri?"
"Boner-tastic. I like where you're going."
"Plus if we gender swap the computer, we probably don't need to actually buy the rights to the old one."
"I dunno. It still sounds a little dumb. How can we make people buy it?"
"Find some super-serious artistic types and throw money at 'em. Oscars all around."
"That won't work."
"Sure it will. Market this as a Spike Jonze movie, and people will call it whimsical instead of preposterous. And get some Oscar-winning actor to be the dude in it."
(click the jump to see what they're talking about)
And just because I think it is - or should be - a crime to mention the movie without its amazingly '80s theme song, here you go...