Did you win one of these? Click onward to find out…
First, The Blackout, in which I asked you to describe your wildest party experience. Some honorable party mentions include GrimlockPrime making the cross-cultural mistake that inevitably happens to somebody you know.
I had a Japanese exchange student as a roommate in College, as well as about 12 other Asians living in my dorm. I was raised on a farm in Canada, and the only Japanese culture I had experienced prior was watching anime on TV as a kid…
It was a wonderful experience. I was eager to learn more about Japanese Culture and he was eager to learn more about Canada. And every Friday afternoon, the bunch of us would have a party. Everybody brought something to eat, and good times were had, mostly.
Long story short, I had a very low alcohol tolerance when I was introduced to Sake….
After a few drinks (on a mostly empty stomach) at one of these parties, I was rapidly getting drunk. I had the presence of mind to try to eat something, but was hasty in my food selection. I went to the buffet table, and did a quick scan for things I liked (was still new to sushi at this point, so I was a bit picky). I noticed a bowl of Doritos beside a bowl of Guacamole. Eager to quench the alcohol, I took a big scoop & down the hatch it went…
Mid swallow, several things happened. I sensed something was very wrong, a very unpleasant burning was setting in, everybody stopped to watch me, my body rejected the notion of swallowing, and whatever I had swallowed was going to come back up. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to the food, I really WISH that was the case. But alas, I had eaten an entire mouthful of Wasabi……
My body did 3 things simultaneously, and none of them were effective. I hiccuped, burped & sneezed… effectively filling my sinuses with something that would peel paint & erase memories. I was in PAIN!!!!! My ears started ringing, my vision blurred, I got dizzy & I’m pretty sure I was emitting smoke….. I like spicy food, but I was not prepared for this!!
I should point out now that I no longer felt the effects of the alcohol, as I had either burned it out of my system or my body was unable to feel the effects.
My roommate was a saint at this point, as he was already running to the fridge to get me some milk, as he knew what to do. I drank two glasses, but the burning wasn’t going away!!! I did, however, soon discovered that I could drink through my nose, and that eventually cooled down the flames. I was a very soggy, pathetic, heap of a mess by this point, but I could not have cared less. The burning was gone. I got a lot of sympathy from everybody, I spent the rest of the evening apologizing for making a mess & the party eventually returned to normal. I gained a whole new respect for Asian cuisine & I soon found that little food labels were teasingly placed among trays at the next party….
It took about 2 weeks for smell to come back & I’m sure it never came back 100%……
And I’ve never touched Wasabi (or Guacamole) since
Ford_Thundercougarfalconbird practically lived the movie.
My senior year in college, 1997. I spent the last couple of months of that year in various stages of intoxication from all the end-of-the-year and graduation parties. But one in particular stands out.
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty and a few pets)
This one girl, we’ll call her Tina, was leaving and decided to throw a rager. She was renting a big Victorian house with 4 other people, and there was a tree house in the big tree in the front yard. A friend played DJ and pretty much everyone showed up. I went to a small liberal arts college, so we’re talking 400 people tops.
There were a few kegs of beer, multiple bottles of wine stolen from the landlord, various other beverages that people brought, and the special punch from her sorority. The punch had a simple recipe: 1 part fruit juice, 1 part cherry kool-aid, 1 part vodka and 1 part everclear. You can see where this is going.
Well, at some point during the festivities, they ran out of fruit juice, but mixed the punch anyway. Oh, and they forgot to add the water for the kool aid. So we had everclear watered down with vodka and a couple of cherry kool aid packets for flavor. No one knew what happened with this nuclear concoction, and it was a few minutes later that people started forgetting… well, everything.
One guy fell out of the treehouse naked, but didn’t break anything. One guy work up in the back of his car the next day, crying, because he had no idea where he was. A close friend pounded 3 red solo cups in rapid succession, and lost consciousness not long after. He woke up the next morning in bed with his cousin and her fiance.. all naked, none of them had any memory of what happened. I vaguely remember walking back to my apartment 3 blocks away, and having to help keep my roommate from falling into the creek. I was told I got into a fistfight with a member of the basketball team, but I have no recollection of that.
I’m sure there was more, but I can;t remember without a Vulcan mind meld.
Basically that was the party everyone went to, but no one remembers.
And the winner is Dancore. Similar to an old TV show or no, it was the best story.
Man, I have a lot of these (I went to party schools for college AND grad school), but most of them are about other people, so I’ll stick one about me.
In the summer between college and grad school, I worked at a pizza place attached to another cheap college restaurant. They were owned by two brothers, and all the employees knew each other and worked together. One day, two buddies of mine next door, Colin and Paul, got off the same time I did, around 5:00 p.m. At the same time, a girl friend of ours, who happened to be a stripper, was eating there. It was a brutally hot day, so we all decided to go swimming at Colin’s because he had an in-ground pool. We also decided to buy beer. A lot of beer.
As the evening went on, we started getting crazier and drunker, doing backflips off the side of the pool, and being silly in general. Eventually, we decided, “Hey, let’s have a party!”
“No, no, no…a NAKED party.”
We figured that if we called people and told them to come over, if we were naked when they got there, they would have to get naked too, and voila, NAKED PARTY!!! So, we all got naked and left many obnoxious messages on all our friends’ machines. “Hey. Come over. We’re gonna be NAKED. NAKED PARTY!!!” I, of course, eventually passed out on a raft in the middle of the pool.
When I woke up, there were about 100 people there, standing around the pool. All fully clothed.
I refused to put my clothes on for the rest of the night.
Costume winner and honorable mentions next page.
No long stories on this one. Just a simple question: “Assuming the Star Wars universe celebrates Halloween and you exist in it – who or what do you dress up as this year, and why?” It’s a lot more challenging to be clever in short answers, but many of you rose to the occasion.
Your best answers included:
I’d go in droid-face.
That’s where you dress up as a member of the unrecognized, non-voting and segregated minority – the types of characters not even allowed in bars that let Aqualish thugs in – then I would dance around making “boop-beep” noises while laughing in their shiny metal faces. I would be able to do this with full impunity, knowing full-well that any restraining bolt-wearing droid that dared speak against me would have its memory wiped at best, or torn apart by droid-torturing EV-Supervisor Uncle 9D9s.
Of course, eventually they’d be some leaking-heart-valve politically correct droids that might say, “I’m a Protocol droid, not a costume,” but to them I say…
I’d get my friends together and go as the U.S Congress. Since the star wars universe exists as a fiction within our universe; why can’t our universe/ earth exist within a sitcom fiction in the Star wars universe. I could see there being, in a verse with intergalactic federations/ empires/ governments, a market for a sitcom regarding a single country on a single planet where people can’t travel through space. In said sitcom the star wars characters would get a hoot out of a government comprised 313 million citizens can’t keep itself afloat or agree on anything. To sum it up… Earthlings go as Jedi for halloween, so why wouldn’t Alderaanians go as the most comical people on earth for halloween.
I would get a giant bee hive costume…then I’d roll around as pond scum….I’d top it off with a comical size bag with a dollar sign on it and a black mask….I’d be a wretch hive of scum and villiany
Jedi Master Soon Bayts
I’d introduce myself as master Bayts.
(If you don’t get the joke, say Master Bayts out loud)
I’d go as Phil, the alcoholic dudebro who totally scored with this slave chick at a Tatooine mixer, but later she tracked him down and told him she was knocked up, so I was like, “Yeah, Babe, that’s totes cool. I got a sweet job lined up on Alderaan that I start next week and as soon as I got the money, I’ll totes buy you from that blue flying fuck and marry you.” And she believed me!
I would go as the Death Star, and tell any costume contest judge that he will share the fate of Alderaan if I do not win.
I suppose in the Star Wars universe, where everyone already wears outlandish clothes, the freakiest way to dress would be in a business suit, complete with fedora and pipe. And you could walk through Mos Eisley complaining about how the town has gone downhill ever since the newest alien species has moved in.
But personally, I’d like to try one of those two-person horse costumes, except it would be a bantha, and I’d be the ass end.
Darth Bane just so I could quote him all night when I am pranking people and they get mad. “Those who ask for mercy are too weak to deserve it.”
I would cross-dress up as a person hated so hated by the God of the Star Wars universe that he tried to erase her very existence. Space Halloween could be no more terrifying than with the presence of Ackmena, the Mos Eisley bartender played by Bea Arthur in the Star Wars Holiday Special.
And the winner is eyelobot, for a pun that is also an easy costume:
Dyslexic Admiral Ackbar. This costume is easy — IT’S A TARP!
Congrats to all winners and HMs.