The problem: your product is something that nobody uses the moment they realize that in fact, they don't have to.
The solution: make it look like something they do like. Normally, that would mean Google Chrome or Firefox. But somebody at Microsoft instead made the leap to "sexy superpowered anime schoolgirl," because everybody likes that. Especially people who spend disproportionate percentages of their day online.
God, I thought fetishizing the Silent Hill nurses was weird. But now comes the almost certain prospect that somebody, somewhere has already masturbated to an anthropomorphic version of a shitty Internet browser.
There's a cartoon short, which you can watch after the jump. There's also an utterly terrifying official cosplayer. Click through to see them...
Attention, Mozilla: do not let this become an arms race and introduce the Firefox Furry. It will be bad for your soul.