Blu-ray Today: Metallica, Dracula and Meatballs All Get 3-D Treatments

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, DVDs, Movies, Music
Tuesday, January 28, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Metallica Through the Never - If you have a large 3D TV, a great sound system and at least an open mind about the music of Metallica, I have no reservations about recommending one of my favorite movies of the year. Like with the Oscar-nominated Gravity, though, I fear much of the appeal may have been in the Imax 3D presentation; without that, will it play as just another concert movie? I'm enough of a fan to take that chance. After all, fellow Metalli-heads, how often do we get to see them play "Orion" live?

Frankenstein Created Woman - '60s Hammer horror with one of the most insane Frankenstein plots ever. Dig this - the son of an executed murderer is in love with the local innkeeper's daughter, who has a massive deformity on half her face. When he runs afoul of a trio of dandies (acting like Clockwork Orange droogs years before) who wind up accidentally killing the landlord, they of course frame the crook's kid. He won't give an alibi, because he was busy banging said landlord's daughter and wants to preserve her honor, and is guillotined; she is so horrified she commits suicide.

Dr. Frankenstein, of course, has the genius idea to put the boy's soul into the girl's body...oh, and give her some plastic surgery while he's at it, because you do not fuck with Peter Cushing when he says that's what he wants to do. The payoff does not, could not measure up to such a set-up, but do you really care?



Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 - I'm bummed I never got the chance to see this in a theater; the first film was an extremely pleasant surprise with many of my favorite SNL stars - and Mr. T - adding wackier humor than one expects from the typical kid-film. Mr. T's gone, but getting Terry Crews to play his role was a stroke of genius. And look - this is a major animated feature that has the stones to cast the creepy-looking Bill Hader as a romantic lead, which of course pays off. Also, one of the main villains is a taco, and it doesn't even have to get into anyone's intestine first to become so. Blu-ray includes four new mini-movies and a scratch & sniff cover.

Argento's Dracula 3D - Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing, Asia Argento as Lucy and dad Dario directing...and yet apparently this movie is a trainwreck of the highest order. That probably won't stop me.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - See Drew Barrymore's grandpa John star in the 1920 silent version of the classic horror tale of duality.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa - The year's most unlikely Oscar nominee (for Best Makeup) is a movie with an oddly split personality. On the one hand, Johnny Knoxville pranks unsuspecting onlookers by being an obliviously irresponsible grandparent. On the other, professionally shot and staged moments between the hidden-camera bits try to flesh his false persona out as a believable, sympathetic character. The overall effect undercuts itself rather than enhancing the moments, but as with any Jackass movie, there are scenes to make you laugh (and look away) in spite of yourself. The Blu-ray contains unrated footage, which probably means a lot more shots of Knoxville's latex scrotum.

Flavia the Heretic - "Nunsploitation" is apparently a thing in Italian cinema, and probably not a thing to everybody's taste. When Flavia gets tortured and raped by fellow nuns, she seduces a Muslim soldier to help free her fellow nuns and get revenge, though in the end things work out well for nobody. Rent, purchase...or Nun of the above?

Those are my top picks for the week...what would you add?


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