“Hey, if She’s Gonna Run off With Another Man, Why Not Jesus?” Nic Cage in Left Behind!

The first look at Nicolas Cage’s performance as “Captain Rayford Steele” in the Christian apocalypse remake Left Behind – a role played by Melrose Place‘s Brad Johnson in the original – does not disappoint. Lea Thompson will be playing his estranged wife, with Chad Michael Murray in the Kirk Cameron role of Buck Williams. The movie is directed by…get this…Harrison Ford’s longtime stunt double Vic Armstrong.

I’ve seen the first movie and read the book it’s based on, and both are pretty genuinely dreadful, though the book at least spares you the mediocre gospel-pop soundtrack and is more unabashedly far-right politically (the evangelical fundamentalist writers basically have Russia start the Cold War all over again, and then attack Israel for no reason except SATAN). I don’t know if casting Cage is supposed to somehow be a subversive joke – after all, Gary Busey does these kinds of movies all the time, and he’s hardly the best poster boy for any faith (“Come to our church! We have Gary Busey!” YeahhhhNO). I can only say that judging by this clip, it looks like he was on drugs while making it.

So, y’know, I’m sold. If they’re true to the book, the antichrist’s name is Nicolae Carpathia…which isn’t that different from “Nicolas Coppola.” HOLYSHIT maybe it’s true after all?

Also, out of context…how hilarious is Cassi Thomson’s line, “I just feel like he’s always trying to shove it down my throat?”

via i09