Potential He-Man Movie Names Bandied About – My Take

I have no idea how credible the website SchmoesKnow is – BleedingCool seems to think they’re on point, which is a plus, but I do know that sometimes there’s nothing more fun than rampant speculation. And they just dropped a bunch of names that are apparently meeting for the Masters of the Universe movie, a tactic that could also be just throwing names out there to see how fans react.

Well, I’ll bite like Trap Jaw. Here’s what I think…

Joe Cornish (Attack the Block) – Going strictly by Attack the Block, and the Tintin movie he cowrote, I’d say Joe knows a good adventure yarn and a good alien/monster movie with lighthearted elements, all of which are key to doing He-Man and friends correctly. AtB also got really good value for money on its highly effective creatures, so financially he must seem like a good bet too.

Rian Johnson (Looper) – Can’t lie; I’d love to see this just because I know Rian and could probably get set access. That said, knowing Rian as I do, I doubt very much he’d be interested. He’s very much into telling his own stories, and has lots of them to put onscreen still – though at the same time, there is a lot of time-traveling in Eternia, and I can only hope it would be as well thought out as in Looper.

Andy Muschietti (Mama) – No, no…get him to do the SEQUEL, where you bring in Hordak, and give “the most evil being in the universe” some real menace so he can be even more intimidating than the first film’s Skeletor, whoever it is.

Kirk DeMicco & Chris Sanders (The Croods) –
The world-building in The Croods was solid, and the cheap humor less bad than I’d imagined. I don’t see it, though. It’s like they’d only be called in because somebody saw a sabertooth cat in their movie and decided that makes them right for Battle Cat.

Phil Lord and Chris Miller (21 Jump Street) – I love these guys. And I don’t want them anywhere near He-Man. If the idea is to do a satirical take based on the Filmation cartoons while mocking them simultaneously, then yes, these are the guys to do it, and Jonah Hill will voice Plundor. I just don’t remotely want that take to happen.

It’s a hackneyed choice, but short of them letting me direct, which will never happen, I’d pick Guillermo del Toro – the Hellboy movies are tonally the best template for what I’d like to see. Inevitably, though, I’m sure we’ll end up with Michael Bay, and Kevin Hart in the role of Orko.

Of the choices above? Cornish. Who would you suggest?