The 13 Nerdy Things We Most Look Forward to in 2014

By Luke Y. Thompson in Daily Lists
Thursday, January 16, 2014 at 6:00 am

7. Stick It!

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I'm most looking forward to South Park: The Stick of Truth... if it comes out. Which is, sadly, not even close to a guarantee. If it doesn't, feel free to copy and paste this for the 2015 Preview list.

If it does come out though, I'll be all over it. I've been a South Park guy since the first episode, and have watched it grow from a vulgarity-filled batch of fart jokes told by pieces of construction paper, to a vulgarity-filled bastion of satiric genius and fart jokes told by computers recreating pieces of construction paper. Combine that with my long-time love of RPGs, and we have ourselves a can't-miss title. Provided it doesn't miss the deadline. (Jason Iannone)

8. My Little Preference.

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Though it's already a third over, I'm really curious to see where the current season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is going, since it's the first season to experiment with serialization and establish an endgame. While it's chased its own tail a couple times thus far, the fact that the producers are taking chances with the storytelling is exciting, and bodes well for the show going forward. (Sherilyn Connelly)

9. Quiet You.

Reasonably sure though I am that Mr. Peabody & Sherman will be, at best, inoffensive, and at worst an insult to the original, the March release of that film is still what I'm looking forward to. I'll go to it regardless of its merits, simply in gratitude to the franchise for filling my childhood with the shaggy dog stories of that impeccably non-shaggy dog and his adopted boy. This unflappable benign know-it-all remains one of my role models (unattainable, of course); a tiny Peabody stands on my desk staring at me as I type these words.

And if the movie stinks, it's an easy matter to cleanse my palate by finding the true Peabody's time-travels to anachronistic pasts, his encounters with radio-comedy versions of historical greats, and the unconscionable puns with which of his adventures culminate on DVD, or on that modern Wayback Machine, the Internet. (M.V. Moorhead)

10. Damn Fine Blu-ray! And Hot!

More than anything else in 2014, I eagerly await the release of Twin Peaks: The Entire Mystery Box Set on Blu-ray (or whatever it ends up being called.) Yes, I already own the DVD set, in multiple incarnations in fact, but the upcoming Blu-ray set is said to include the entire series and the prequel movie Fire Walk With Me as well as the forty-five plus minutes of deleted scenes featuring the other cast members from the series. Those scenes have been the Holy Grail for hardcore Peaks fans like myself for over twenty years, but legal entanglements have kept them in the vault. There are also several other rumored special features, including the possibility the David Lynch himself is preparing something new just for this set. (again, just a rumor, but one that won't go away.) Right now, there's not a set release date; all I know is that it's coming this year. And I. Can't. Wait. (Eric Diaz)

11. Billions and Billions of Expectations.

I don't tend to watch too many current TV shows these days, partly because I'm busy and mostly because I have reached such heights of laziness that even staring at a screen qualifies as overexerting myself. But I will at least make an a effort to track down the sequel to Cosmos, even though Neil DeGrasse Tyson will probably never be as memorably quirky as Carl Sagan was. Although the shiny, shiny trailer makes the whole endeavor look a little too action movie-esque for me, especially compared to the serene tone of the original, it does at least seem that Seth MacFarlane's involvement will not consist solely of pumping in unrelated gags and that he's taking it seriously. Hopefully this will air before Google starts the robot uprising and we'll at least learn a little more about how our new masters are able to run 28 miles per hour before they start harvesting our bodies to make their own part-organic Cyber-Sagan. (Andy Hughes)

12. A Boner for Malkovich.

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The TV thing I'm most looking forward to is ... well, it's actually hard to name just one. I'm seriously, and with a somewhat unhealthy amount of glee, looking forward to seeing a certain horrible person finally get what's coming to them in Season 4 of Game of Thrones. Also can't wait for Orphan Black to come back. I'm intrigued by Crossbones, NBC's new show about Blackbeard, starring John Malkovich (looking a bit like Grumpy from Once Upon a Time in the promo pic) and written/executive produced by Neil Cross, creator of the horribly violent and almost unbearably twisted (but wonderful) Luther. (On the subject of pirate shows, Black Sails on Starz might be worth a look too.) I am ghoulishly curious about Helix; it could be a neat blend of horror and sci-fi and conspiracy, and Ronald D. Moore (an executive producer on the new Syfy show) usually does well with almost-certain-doom. Finally, of course I can't wait for the new series of Doctor Who with a brand-new Doctor! (Natalie Nichols)

13. Fantasy Constructs.

Much as I'm looking forward to seeing what James Gunn does with Guardians of the Galaxy, and whether Lars von Trier can continue his string of effectively terrifying panic-attack movies with Nymphomaniac, I'm excited that my actual most-anticipated movie of 2014 actually comes out in the first quarter of the year. That's right - until somebody makes a porno called Whose Responsible for Manicorns Cramming and Blocking Tupper Adam, I can't think of a film more perfectly targeted at TR readers than The Lego Movie. It's the first major feature film to have Wonder Woman as a major character; it features DC superheroes mixing it up with the Ninja Turtles, Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln and the artist Michelangelo; it has the Brony-ready character of Unikitty, brilliantly fusing a unicorn and pink kitty for maximum effect; and has Liam Neeson and Will Ferrell in the same movie. Plus everything in it is made of Lego.

In cynical hands, it could be the worst thing ever, but Phil Lord and Chris Miller have done me no wrong yet. Every indication is that this is going to be pure cinematic candy, and I can't wait to gorge.

Also, Tasha Reign's Pony Tales. (Luke Y. Thompson)


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