The 10 Hottest Scenes From SXSW's Sexiest Movies

By Fred Topel in Daily Lists, Movies
Tuesday, March 18, 2014 at 6:00 am

5. The Picture From Ukraine Is Not a Brothel

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I actually didn't get a chance to see this documentary, but there's already nudity in the film program. Ukraine is Not a Brothel is about a topless feminist group called Femen. Before films begin at SXSW, they show slides of all the films in the festival with synopses and the same photos from the film program, so every time Ukraine is Not a Brothel comes around, we see some blonde Ukrainian babes with their boobs out for all to see, holding protest signs.

I mean, last year at SXSW I saw the documentary Fuck for Forest about a group that puts on sex shows to raise money and awareness for deforestation. So I guess there's one every year. Let's support Femen and the important work they are doing both at home and abroad.

4. Roger Corman Film Clips in That Guy Dick Miller

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Dick Miller has been in over 100 movies and TV shows, and SXSW premiered a documentary about his life and work. Since Miller was in so many Roger Corman movies, plenty of the film clips feature gratuitous nudity from Corman's low budget exploitation movies. You've got women changing their tops while Miller drives them in a getaway car, jungle women taking their tops off and all the gratuitous nudity we can thank Corman for.

You've definitely seen Dick Miller in movies before, even if you don't know his name, and later on, we're going to bring you a full list of Miller's 10 best roles. It's funny, his wife Lanie still gets jealous when the filmmakers ask Dick about the scenes with naked women. They've even got the scene from Demon Knight where the demon tempts him with a bevy of booberific babes.

3. Skype Sex in The Heart Machine

The_Heart_Machine_credit_Jeong_Park.jpg
Jeong Park
Kate Lyn Sheil in The Heart Machine

Skype is something films are going to be dealing with a lot more now that it is a regular part of our lives and relationships, just like they've had to adapt to cell phones ruining horror movies and texting eliminating dialogue. The Heart Machine may be the first Skype sex scene in a major non-porno movie, so it's an important precedent for cinema. It helps that I have a huge crush on Kate Lyn Sheil, but John Gallagher, Jr. is pretty revealing if anyone is a Newsroom fan.

Sheil plays Virginia, a woman having a long distance relationship with Cody (Gallagher), only it's not long-distance at all. He figures out she lives in the same city. That's not quite a Catfish, because it's really her, but it's weird. While keeping up the charade, Virginia and Cody have Skype sex, with a topless shot of Virginia on the computer screen, and a rearal shot of Cody lying in bed, er, topping himself off, as it were.

2. Time Sex in The Infinite Man

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This isn't necessarily a graphic one, but it's such the perfect combination of uber sci-fi and our sleaziest thoughts that it's the number one sex scene of SXSW. Dean (Josh McConville) has invented a time machine and uses it to save his relationship with Lana (Hannah Marshall). But, when he goes back in time and has sex with her, his past self gets jealous.

The Infinite Man is a classy film, so the sex scene is filmed tastefully. They're clearly doing it, but we mainly see their backs and faces. Admit it,though, we've all thought about this. Frankly, some of us have thought of going back in time and fucking ourselves, let alone our ex-girlfriends. We probably never thought about making our past selves jealous, so that's kind of a mindfuck, but let's all thank The Infinite Man for exploring our greatest sci-fi fantasies. This was also on my main Top 10 List for SXSW because it's really a great movie.

1. Topless Beach in Fort Tilden

Fort Tilden won the Narrative Grand Jury Prize at SXSW, but probably not for the reason it's number one in my book. It's a comedy about two New York girls, Harper (Bridey Elliott) and Allie (Clare McNulty) who are trying to get to Fort Tilden beach to hook up with some guys. I think they're already trying too hard. All they had to do was invite the guys over to their place and save the trip.

Well, getting to Fort Tilden is full of comic misadventures. Allie and Harper are broke so they try to get there on the cheap, but every step of the way they botch it and get into more trouble. When they finally get to Fort Tilden (not a spoiler, it's the title of the damn movie), the entire third act of the movie is an extended topless scene.

When Harper and Allie arrive, the boys are already with two other topless girls, one of whom has the most magnificent natural rack I've seen since the "stupendous" girl in the Friday the 13th remake. Then, to keep the guys' attention, Allie and Harper go au naturel too. It's a good movie, worthy of the award, and if you like the girls in the clip embedded above, you have a lot to look forward to in Fort Tilden. Lest anyone think I'm sexist for writing this list at all, I want to tell Elliott and McNulty I celebrate you both and appreciate your service to cinema.

Previously By Fred Topel

The 10 Nerdiest Things At SXSW 2014

The Top 10 Geekout Moments Of Sundance 2013

The 10 Geekiest Moments Of The TCAs

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