Weekend Hangover: 17 Stories You May Have Missed

As you did or did not check out Godzilla this weekend, here are some of the other happenings you might have missed, as submitted by your fellow readers and occasionally me too. Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair; this week’s tipsters include Rx79immigrant84, SlyDante777, GallenDugall, Citrus King, troi, TImely_Flower-Hermit, Dr.Gonzo82, Anyone00.

1. The Battle of the Same Five Ingredients.

In Saturday Night Live‘s nerdiest sketch this week, Andy Samberg played Legolas…at a Taco Bell. It doesn’t withstand nerdy nitpickery, though: the skit refers to “Legolas from The Hobbit,” but we all know he doesn’t befriend Gimli till The Lord of the Rings. Unless you posit that the introduction of Taco Bell into Middle-earth creates a reboot as significantly different and retconning as sending Nero and Spock back through time…

2. Cock the Vote.

A banned Danish commercial tries to get people to vote by implying that if they don’t, a horny biker/viking dude will ride to their home on dolphins, beat the shit out of them, and throw them through the windows of their local polling place.

3. American Graph Feat-y.

An entire website designed to prove that correlation is not causation, and yet it will probably instead convince millions that a massive, bizarre conspiracy is underway.

4. Second Skin.

Wearing a replica of somebody else’s face – not creepy at all. If you’re a 1960s Batman villain. Otherwise, total Ed Gein vibe.

5. Stay Gold, Pony Boy.

The adventure books read by the characters on Friendship Is Magic can now be pre-purchased in a box set, with a little pony figurine, for $75. $75 probably better spent on toys, that is.

6. NO NOT THE BEES!

Those evil witches from The Wicker Man remake have apparently found Nicolas Cage’s car, at last.

7. Holy Cheek Penetration.

This guy might have a tough time ever getting a job, or eating soup. But on the plus side, dental x-rays will be a whole lot easier.

8. We Can Rebuild Him (His Arm, Anyway).

Maybe if that guy who murdered Dr. Richard Kimble’s wife had had one of these, he wouldn’t have been so pissed off and evil.

9. Avengers Assemble for Cancer Patient.

A dying man’s family managed to gather the Avengers actors – via Twitter selfies – to rally for his chance to watch an advance DVD of Captain America: The Winter Soldier before he dies. They might want to warn him in advance that it kinda ends on a cliffhanger.

10. Moon Rakers.

Viz media has licensed all the old Sailor Moon episodes, as well as the new anime Sailor Moon Crystal. For those of you who watch for the plot, rather than just staring at cartoon legs, they’ll be doing new dubs.

11. Ninja Turtles, in Concert, on Oprah (in 1990).

Let’s be fair and admit that at least Michael Bay will not likely let this happen again.

12. WHYYYY…IS THE U.N….SO ROBOPHOBIC???

They’re considering a preemptive ban on killer robots. Individual nations will have 20 seconds to comply.

13. Special Delivery.

The director of Sinister looks all set to freak us out again – not just with demons, but the fact that we have to depend on Eric Bana to save us, and it’s been a long time since he was Chopper.

14. My Favorite Martians.

The Pope is hypothetically willing to baptize men from Mars, presumably once they first accept the notion that an Earth book they couldn’t possibly have known about before now is their only path to salvation.

15. Bite My Shiny, Metal…Juice Can?

JohnnyExpress from AlfredImageworks on Vimeo.

Futurama may be gone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy cartoons about lazy space deliverymen. Think Horton Hears a Who…if Horton hadn’t given a damn.

16. Cup Size Is Important.

Remember all those times you’ve wanted to pretend you were squashing tiny anime girls flat with your coffee cup? It’s your lucky day.

17. Cry Havoc, and Let Slip the Dogs of Watch.

This hidden-camera prank to promote Watch_Dogs is extraordinarily elaborate..and there must be deleted footage of the people who were furious, rather than just these incredibly chill marks.