7 Geek Prejudices You Should Have Dropped by Now

By Jamie Dennis-Jackson in Daily Lists, Nerdery
Wednesday, June 4, 2014 at 6:00 am


Geekiness always begins from love. Like pretty much anything, in order to become proficient, it requires practice; so much practice, in fact, that it's only through a hard, unquenchable love of the matter that we can dedicate so much time and energy to it. But there are things we all have done that we need to stop doing, if we haven't already.

We're always measuring ourselves against other folks doing that same thing, and once we've acquired decent skillz, it becomes easier to look down on those "not on our level." In the beginning, it feels good to be the look-downer than the look-downee, because you're actively not being shat on when you're criticising others. And it's somewhat forgivable; tasting that power for the first time is narcotizing. But after a honeymoon period (the honeymoon between yourself and your raging, egomaniacal power-lust) you need to tone it down and give yourself over to a greater, more nourishing equanimity.

As we're all at least level 12 Geeky-Nerds here, I thought I'd share with you the seven deadly sins of nerdry, but I'm sure you're all far too awesome and sexy to engage in these anymore. Right?

7. "Girls Can't _____!"

"Hey, Useless McBooberson! You need to Get. Out. Now. No, I don't care that this is a con about you."

Hey, did you know vaginas are the reason girls can't nerd? Me either! It's why, if you attend cons, you will NEVER see a lady-womens there, or, like, unicorns, or whatever it is those crazy girls hang out with. Zeppelins? Creationists? Some things we'll just never know, like why women are cray-cray and only do too much or too little sexings, right bros? HA HA HA MISOGYNY!

Of course, as those of us who aren't single-celled shiteaters know, excluding someone based on anatomy is ridiculous, especially when fan enthusiasm is almost a one-hundred percent cerebral activity. Time for some real-talk: I used to be in this category. A girl I knew wanted to play with my G1 Wheeljack, and I told her I didn't want her cooties on it, that she wouldn't know how to play with it properly even if I did let her, and that she should get out of my sandbox and go get me a juice-box. How did this work out? Well, I learned that that was no way to treat a woman, especially on our third wedding anniversary, and I never saw that Wheeljack ever again.

For real, though, don't exclude based on gender. Or really for any other reason. As geeks, we've criticized a lot of other communities for excluding us. We can do better.

6. "_____ Sux, but _____ Rulz! (Even Though They're the Same!)"

Easily the best Call of Duty. Or Battlefield. Whichever.

Those of us still scarred from the Console Wars of the '90s look upon today's Xbox vs. Sony generation as pretenders trying to recapture a glory they weren't present for, like cavemen trying to restart a once brilliant, raging conflagration by screaming terribly racist slurs at it. And while the Sega vs. Nintendo era was a crazy flame war, the reason we were allowed to compare and contrast via swears are twofold: We were kids, and and we could punch any douche who got out of line with their offensive defense. Nowadays, 99.9% of the people you argue with you've never even seen, much less been within bash-distance, and so taking a stand and TYPING IN ALL CAPS ABOUT HOW CALL OF DUTY IS WAY FUCKING BETTER THAN GAY BATTLEFIELD FOR THE GAYS AND WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF GAY? just isn't fair in all the ways it should be. But for all the homophobic, awful type-screams, there's one thing we forget...

...they are the same. They are all the same. Back in the day, when Nintendo and Sega produced a massive majority of games in-house, there was almost a reason to fight. Almost. Now though, the amount of titles released for Xbox and not for PlayStation an vice versa can be counted on one hand that's been involved in a few firework accidents. And the whole CoD/Battlefield thing is kind of crazy, in a "my floating modern gun shooting folks in brown and grey and better than your floating gun that is doing similar things, fool!!" I understand that rallying under a banner is something we're programmed to do as people, finding like-minded folks and also providing an Other to rail against, but it shouldn't take you a long time to get over that internecine kind of fighting. We're all gamers. Let's just enjoy the incredible bounty before us.

5. "If You _____, You're Not a Nerd!!!"

Sports: In no way related to nerdery. Ever.

The concept of geekery has spread in all directions, encompassing a whole host of other sub-groups and formerly antisocial activities, as well as tingeing former-opposites with its snotty, Cheetos-dust infused mitts. Sports and geekiness were the exact opposites (see: Jocks vs. Nerds, in chapter All The 1980s) but now, due to statistics, moneyballs, and sportymaths (?) sports fans can be counted among us, or we can come to their houses and chant "ONE OF US, ONE OF US!" (either is fine.)

So it makes it all the more difficult to exclude someone or something because of perceived non-nerdery. If we're about one thing, it's love: love for our favorite franchises and characters, love for blueprints of things that don't even exist in reality, love for spending lots of money on molded plastic that moves a little, if you're dumb enough to remove it from the packaging like some kind of dumb idiot. And guess what? People love football, and ice dancing, and flour grinding. Love, numbers, physics, biology, chemistry: all are present, and all are traditionally geeky. So while a weekend flour grinder may not find a home with us, someone who loves it to the point of creating tables, charts, and particle physics equations to better love their admittedly strange hobby is a nerd.

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