7 Geek Prejudices You Should Have Dropped by Now

By Jamie Dennis-Jackson in Daily Lists, Nerdery
Wednesday, June 4, 2014 at 6:00 am

4. "You've Ruined the Character FOREVER!"

batman-forever4.jpg
"BATMAN WILL NEVER BE GOOD AGAIN EVER!!! *SOB*"

Oh noes! Your favouritest, belovedest character does something so out of keeping, so crazypants insane, and so despicably awful that your love and respect for not just that character, but also their creators, artists, and purveyors drops to a crushing, disappointing low. So that's the end of the line, right? Now you have to burn all your fan-love items, lest this abomination reflect as poorly on you as it does on those previously mentioned. Well congratulations, you're now a thirteen year-old Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic writer circa Sonic Unleashed.

Our favorite characters that are passed on from creator to successor, and so on, often end up soiled by this. It happens, and it will continue to happen. And yeah, it sucks big-time, but eventually someone who knows the character as well as you do will take hold of it and do amazing things you never dreamed. After all, we got a The Dark Knight after a Batman and Robin.

3. "YOU'RE NOT NERDING RIGHT!"

nerd-toy-collection12.jpeg
Obviously collecting incorrectly = NOT A GEEK

I think this is another situation we've all been in: Seeing someone on a message board or overhearing someone at a con effusively praising something freely and from the bottom of their heart, and you get madder and madder as they misstate facts and figures, get names wrong, and completely confuse the premise of the whole deal. Lord knows I still turn beet-red when it comes to people screwing up data from a certain series I love (and which I will never name for fear of what it says about me.)

The other thing is how easily hateable this behaviour is when we come across it in others, provoking a weird kind of "Hey man, just let the kid love it for the love of it! He's not hurting anyone, and we need to accep-OH GET FUCKED JANEWAY IS WHY YOU LOVE STAR TREK AND SHE'S 'BETTER THAN WHOEVER THE SHIT YOU THINK 'PICKERD' IS AHHHH-BLAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!" reaction. It's frustrating when someone isn't familiar with what goes on, like hearing someone say "My favorite thing about physics is when you drop stuff and it flies to the mooooooooooooooon!" But we were all new to our favorite series once, and I think a lot of us were thankful that we didn't have the Internet to call us on our misconceptions.

2. "Well Now, That's Just Physically Impossible!"

Portal_Screenshot01.jpg
Pictured: Someone about to do REAL SCIENCE!

This one burns me up. You're watching a movie about a dude who dresses up like a fetishistic bat, appears from nowhere somehow all of the time, has magical toys that do nothing but defy the rules of the natural world, but when he makes a flaming icon of his symbol, that's your dealbreaker? "He wouldn't have had time to do that! And I thought he was supposed to be in a hurry!" Don't get me wrong, it was a dumb idea, but out of everything else that happened, that's the one thing you comment on as being "kind of outside the realm of believability"?

We are geeks, and so we enjoy all manner of science-fiction, superheroes, and inordinately accurate damage-soaking one-man armies, so really there's nothing we should call "inconceivable" (except, perhaps, winning a land war in Asia). Please don't be that jerk-off. I understand there are limits, but they should be more about "that was a stupid idea" as opposed to "hey, that thing just now? The 899,905th thing that could not have ever happened anywhere ever? Man, y'all need to hear why that's wrong!"

1. Hating on "APPRECIATE MY QUIRKINESS!!!" People.

gozershirt.jpg
"Look at my personality! LOOK AT IT!"

I know there are some of us that didn't even know we were nerds until someone helpfully pointed it out; usually that asshole Chad in middle school screaming "NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRD!" every time we walked by. But unlike Chad, we got to choose to be that through pure love, no matter how many times his Mom tells him that that's what his uncle had in mind when he knocked her up.

But since it's become kind of a hot topic, some have come to see geekdom as a replacement for things like "a personality" and "social graces." Instead of letting others come to see for themselves how quirky and intelligent they may or may not be, they instead slap on a My Little Pony shirt, a Voltron backpack, and roam about with a grin on their face that says "Aren't I just too much?"

And those people are the worst. Why? Because they shun the community they're appropriating for themselves. The second Chad engages them in conversation, they will take the opportunity to shit all over us while guiltily fingering that MLP shirt, saying "What, hang out with those nerds? No way Chad, I'm cool, I'm so cool we should do things with beers and maybe the ladies together while talking about cars! VROOOOOM! Wink!"

Yes, these people are asshats. But they are not geeks, or interesting, or worthy of our strongly cultivated, Internet-strengthened nerd-hate. Whatever else becomes popular, they will glom onto that, and then we do not have to worry about them. But, when they wake up at night with the crippling realization that they aren't actually people and only have traits writ in sand instead of stone, we are allowed to grin mightily.

More links from around the web!

 
Email Print