6-9-14 Weekend Hangover: 17 Stories You Might Have Missed

Monday, June 9, 2014 at 6:00 am

Be honest, you miss her as Mary Jane...

It's the stories you might have missed last week and over the weekend! Compiled with the aid of Kyle LeClair, this week's list includes stories on sushi dating, Beavis and Butt-head, Ant-Man, giant ancient crocodiles, Spider-Man erections and more.

Tips submitted by the likes of troi, SlyDante777, Citrus_King, rkwsuperstar, Dr.Gonzo82, GreggoryBasore, NOT.DrAbraxas, andre_morelo, skrag2112, Gallen_Dugall.

1. No, Pink Panther - LIVE Ant. Live Ant. Live Ant Live Ant Live Ant.

Peyton Reed, director of Bring It On and Down With Love, will be taking over for Edgar Wright on Ant-Man. Fun fact - he was in talks to do Fantastic Four at one point, possibly as a '60s period piece. Point being, at least he likes comics.

2. Settle Down, Bay-vis.

If Michael Bay made a Beavis and Butt-head movie...I can't say I'd be entirely opposed to that particular rendition of Daria.

3. Calvin and the Strip Monk.


Bill Watterson secretly returned to the comic strip format to draw some Pearls Before Swine panels. How very Hobbesian of him.

4. In Soviet Russia Allegory, Books Color in You!

The Giver, based on yet another dystopian young adult novel, looks like a sci-fi take on Pleasantville.

5. Brain Food.


Zombie toothpicks presumably make your lackluster hors d'hoeuvre rise from the dead.

6. The Mirror Has Dos Caras.

Alberto Del Rio is one of several WWE superstars making sweetly out-of-character videos extolling the importance of fatherhood. Shane McMahon, who no longer works for Vince's company, presumably could not be reached for comment.

7. Pitch a Tent? Please Believe Us/Spanking His Monkey Just Like Beavis...


...Look out - here comes the spider-boner.

Still a better Spider-Man than Andrew Garfield.

8. For Balrog, It Was Excavation Day.

An ancient giant crocodile fossil is found, and named after the Balrog from Lord of the Rings. Or so they tell us - it was probably named after the Street Fighter character, until some nerds got pedantic and argued that its real name was Mike Bison.

9. Jogging Your Memory Card.

A new USB shoe can charge a 400 mAH Li-ion battery in full by jogging for eight straight hours. The bad news is that you have to JOG FOR EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS.

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