Robotic Gaming Monthly #1 - Kinect, Kinkiness, And Various Kicked Asses

By Kyle LeClair in Video Games
Monday, June 9, 2014 at 8:00 am

And now that we've tackled a look at the Kinect that I'm guessing most of you skipped over to get to the promise of titties, let us now turn our attention to the slightly racier stuff. Namely the announcement that the Japanese tactical RPG & visual novel Eiyuu Senki will now be heading to North American shores for the PS3, and the recent release of Monster Monpiece for the PS Vita. Don't know what Eiyuu Senki is? Well, let's turn to the official description...

"In this fantastic adventure, the player finds themselves in an alternate world populated with famous characters of history and legend - who also all happen to be beautiful maidens - and must fight their way to world domination."

Soooo...yeah, basically imagine Risk + your history textbook + Rule 63 and moe anthropomorphism. So for those of you who ever wanted to a see a big-boobied, gun-toting Christopher Columbus, your time has come.

It makes sense when you realize Columbus represents America in this game.

I should also point out that Eiyuu Senki was originally an "eroge". What is an eroge, you may ask? Well, I asked resident TR anime/questionable content expert Timely-Tardis-Lego about it...

"As for eroge, Porn game? Covers both categories of hardcore and softcore. Though a hentai game is what the simple browser based flash games tend to be called in my experience, an eroge is a full scale game with many settings or something along the lines of a visual novel."

...Yep. Mind you, I'm guessing any naughty bits (and there are indeed naughty bits; I checked at the cost of my browser history) will eventually be edited out or toned down for an American release. As for Monster Monpiece, it's a virtual card game that also features moe anthropomorphized characters - in this case, various monsters - but with the twist, let's just just go to the video...

Yeah. That.

This all honestly feels to me like an increasing trend of, explicit Japanese games getting released over on this side of the pond. Not that we haven't had any before, but they seem to be more frequent now. I mean, in the past year or so alone we've had (or will have)...

- A game about ludicrously big-breasted ninja schoolgirls beating each other up while getting stripped down to their underwear (Senran Kagura Burst)

- A game where the character has to strip the clothes off of demons in order to defeat them (Akiba's Trip: Undead & Undressed)

- A game about straight-up baby-making with a harem of schoolgirls (Conception II)

- At least half a dozen mobile card games along with Monster Monpiece centered around Rule 63 where other famous historical figures, mythological figures, and monsters are featured as notably busty women that you can collect (Ayakashi Ghost Guild, Devil Maker: Tokyo, Valkyrie Crusade, etc., though some notably add in some Bishōnen as well)

- A game about high school students forced to flat-out murder each other (Danganronpa, which doesn't sound that shocking compared to the others, doesn't involve fanservice, and I think I just wanted an excuse to mention Danganronpa, but still)

- A dating sim where you're the only human high school girl in a school full of pigeons that you try to hook up with (Hatoful Boyfriend, which I think is also relatively tame (except for that one scene), but that is just messed up right there)

...Now, I'm not ragging on these games for being bad (hell, I've heard critics say that Monster Monpiece and other examples here are really good games despite their content). Nor am I condemning fanservice, especially since I don't want to seem hypocritical given that I've spent previous Weekend Threads on TR posting Japanese cartoons of notably busty women (I still say Gashi-gashi's work kicks ass, dang it). But it's just that when there appears to be such a notable surge in this type of content, I can't help but take notice (um, for other, less obvious reasons, I mean).

But why the sudden rush of these games? Well, "fan demand" seems to be the number one response given when asked why any of these games are coming to America (number two possibly being desperation for a Japanese gaming industry in trouble). And okay, I can obviously respect companies catering to the fans that request certain games. But the thing is, are we demanding these games for the right reasons (and subsequently, are Japanese gaming companies really giving them to us for said right reasons as well)? Is this "fan demand" coming from people who legitimately believe that these will be interesting games that are fun to play, or because they just want to see the risqué subject matter?

I mean, there IS an actual game behind this...I think.

Look, I know we aren't exactly the type to have high moral standards around here, what with the cramming, manicorns, and possible cramicorns. But dammit, we should at least have standards when it comes to quality. If you want to see Eiyuu Senki and more games like it because you've heard good things about it or just plain think that it could be a good game, that's cool. If you want games like Eiyuu Senki simply because you want wanking material, then hang your head in shame, because that kind of obvious shallowness is something we need less of if gamers of the world are ever to gain more of a positive image. Also, fer chrissakes, the freaking INTERNET exists. Please don't tell me you seriously needed an imported Japanese video game solely to get turned on by when you can just click a button and immediately invoke Rule 34. You may as well just watch a Let's Play if you needed that.

Heck, this kind of thinking even seems to extend to older games as well, even without the boobies. Recently it was just announced that a potential re-release is planned for the infamous Sega CD FMV game Night Trap, the one that was a key player in the 1993 Senate hearings on video game violence (despite being as violent as a PG-13 slasher flick). We've also seem the obscure ultra-violent, un-PC adventure game Harvester find new life on GOG and Steam, and the then-controversial, shocking shooter Postal 2 ended up being one of the first games to be (re-)released on steam via their Greenlight process. All of these happened thanks to fan support, and additionally, as someone who grew up when all these games were released, I can also confirm that NONE OF THESE GAMES WERE ACTUALLY GOOD. Who the hell actually wanted to see these games make a return??

Someone actually this released back into the wild. They must pay.

Somehow this lust for blood disturbs me more than a lust for boobs. Look, I know we have a natural, morbid curiosity about these kinds of games, the ones that were either "shocking" for their time or deliberately tried to be as shocking as possible. But we know they weren't quality games. We have proof, reviews, testimonials. Do we really need them sold to the general public again? Do we really want to send out the idea that we're still willing to pay money for crap like this, and encourage the possibility of even more cookie-cutter shockers making a comeback? It would definitely mean something much more if all of this was attached to some more quality games, but between the blood and the boobs, I'm starting to feel slightly afraid that we may be regressing back to the stereotype of '90s-era gamers craving nothing but ultra-violent and racy nonsense (and we'll get to that era soon).

Remember, don't let THIS...happen to you.

So to sum things up quickly, demanding fanservice-y Japanese games or blood-soaked interactive entertainment for their gameplay = good, demanding them solely for titties, panty shots, and/or guts and mayhem = bad. Of course, there's logically no reason you can't like a game for having both solid gameplay and notably explicit content, that would definitely be great. Just remember that given the sheer amount of moe anthropomorphism out there, beware as to what you can get turned on by...

If you ogled this for even a second too long, your soul is theirs to torment now.


Oh, and before we move on, there was also something this month about Nintendo losing a ton of money and suffering through a bit of a PR nightmare concerning gay marriage (which they thankfully apologized for), but none of that mattered because OOOOH LOOK POKEMON RUBY AND SAPPHIRE REMAKES LOOKIT DA PRETTY REMAKES OOOOH REMEMBER THOSE GAMES HOENN 4EVER YAAYYYYYYY

Ugh, I'm certain those will still end up being good remakes (& the new Mega Evolutions are neat, I guess), but the online reaction to them made it seem like this was the second coming as opposed to just simply enhanced remakes of the Pokemon games that people liked the least anyways. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people cheering on Nintendo for releasing flagrantly obvious nostalgia bait to try and desperately win over a crowd.

Coming up next in Robotic Gaming Monthly: Flagrant obvious nostalgia bait!!

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