7 Disturbing Things from Japan's Weirdly Pervy (but Canonical) Transformers Kiss Players

By Abe Pat in Anime, Daily Lists, Toys
Thursday, June 26, 2014 at 6:00 am

3. Perceptor Gives a Ride

Fun fact: This is the only appearance of Perceptor's battle mode in any media

Perceptor.jpg

Look at that image of Teletran 1 and Perceptor and tell me that looks innocent. It doesn't, and you can't. There's too much evidence from this artist that proves it isn't. The girl has her hands in front of her crotch, the motion lines showing they're vibrating, the bead of sweat and tear forming in her eye. It all adds up to something perverted.

The likelihood of that happening in the movies?

Since Hollywood sometimes jokes about the fact of male masturbation in the form of Playboy magazines hidden under the bed but at the same time does not want to approach the idea of female masturbation with a ten-foot pole, the most we'd get is an offhanded remark about driving on bumpy roads that goes over most people's heads.

2. Wheelie Is a Pervert

Wheelie_Perverted.jpg

Wheelie lifts up Teletran 15's skirt -- and possibly her too considering he's a super strong robot. But fortunately before her skirt rips, Teletran 10 is there to put a stop to it by kicking him in the face. Somehow, neither her leg or shoes are broken by the impact that was strong enough to smash open a Transformer's face plate. But since this is a comedy manga, he's fixed in the next panel.

I'm not sure if there's a logo like a rubsign on Wheelie's crotch, or if it's a compartment opening for a long phallic tentacle to come out, but for this comic, neither are out of the question.

The likelihood of that happening in the movies?

I'm pretty sure they already did something like that in the movies. I know that I saw Wheelie humping Mikaela leg in Revenge of The Fallen. And even though I haven't seen Dark of The Moon, I heard a few mentions of Wheelie and Brain's panty raids popping up while doing research. So, even if some of it has happened, the good news is that in the movies, Wheelie is about a foot tall. I doubt there are going to be many worries about that there, unless the heroine is is on all fours trying to sneak in some air vents or something.

At least we don't have to worry about robots picking up people and inspecting under their skirts like a boy who finds his sister's doll.

1. Starscream Learns About Embarrassment

The story arc begins when Teletran 15 is possessed by Starscream's ghost. She's a machine that looks like a grade schooler, so I'll let it slide. Anyway, after going through her databanks, he learns about the Kiss Player's powerful abilities and decides to go after them.

Victory.jpg

After successfully possessing one of the Kiss Players, despite her not being another Transformer, Starscream proceeds to pull out a gun and starts shooting the ceiling to get attention. No one takes him seriously for one very embarrassing reason.

Or rather, a pair of reasons.

You see, when he possessed the girl, she was on the toilet.

Starscream_Panty_Shot.jpg

Yes, this really is what happens.....

Shy_StarScream.jpg

Turns out that he forgot, or rather didn't know to pull his/her panties up. But by his reaction, it looks like he knows enough that it's something embarrassing.

The likelihood of that happening in the movies?

Actually, if done right, I'd be all for Transformers ending up in human bodies. It could be like that episode in G1, where they have to reclaim their bodies from being used as weapons.

The thing I actually don't want is scenes where they have gross, long drawn-out jokes about bodily functions. Transformers getting used to clothes would be an interesting experience, since in prior incarnations they just accept it with no issue. I want to see them struggle with shoelaces and seat belts. The things that you'd expect from people who have never wore clothes in their life.

And now you're realizing that all Transformers are nudists.


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