Ask Luke’s Mother in Law: Great Balls of Furry Lovin’

In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert. All questions and answers are real.

Hey, well, here we are with another week under our belts. I watched the Oscar announcements from the lair in Joshua Tree, and will have to say I was disappointed that Best Director was an old boys’ group. The director of Selma, Ava DuVernay, got totally snubbed. I mean, please, Selma got best picture – did it make itself?

Last Thursday night I attended the Joshua Tree Film Fest again. This time we saw three short films. “Rat Pack Rat,” which was filmed in Palm Springs; “Amaqqut Nunaat – Country of Wolves” from Canada and “Stone Cars” from South Africa. My favorite was “Stone Cars,” the story of a young black girl in South Africa. It was a coming of age story and I understand all of the actors were non professional. My next fave was “Country of Wolves.” This was an animated short and they story of two brothers lost in the frozen wild. Finally “Rat Pack Rat,” they story of a Sammy Davis Jr impersonator and a man’s last dying wish. A very dark story. Next month’s feature will be 45 RPM. I understand from the founder of the fest that we may have folks from “Stone Cars” and “Rat Pack Rat” at the September fest.

Monday was the MLK holiday here in the states. It was also my eye surgery day. Got 2 good eyes now. On Tuesday (day after surgery), I now have 20/20 vision in my left eye and don’t have to wear my reading glasses when working on the computer. The TV now has a 3 D effect on some shows. Espacially the news crawls on the bottom of the screen. It was interesting to even be awake during the surgery. The doctor was telling me everything going on the entire time. The worst part of the thing is the eye drops 4 times a day with 3 different drops. I hate eye drops. But other than that it was so cool.

So lets see what you all have for me this week:.

chaoswept:

1. Why are cops sterotyped as donut fiends?

Well, in So Cal where I have done most of my work, it was because donut shops (Winchell’s) were open 24 hrs; it was a place with a clean restroom, strong coffee and food that you could get in and out of fairly quickly. Try finding a place for coffee at 3 a.m. when you are working the graveyard shift. Out where I am now I pity the graveyard shift as most everything out here locks up at 9 pm except for the bars. The joke in Anaheim when I worked there was if you wanted to find a cop, stop at Winchell’s – it was their subway station.

2. Why are said donut fiends usually eating powdered donuts? Wouldn’t that be a little destructive to the pristine uniform?

Well, in Anaheim our uniforms were tan so the powered sugar did not show too badly, but my fave kind was glazed jelly or the glazed apple fritter. Down in LA we had blue or tan/green – powdered sugar is really bad on these colors, but again I was a glazed fan, as were most of my friends. The worst offender to my gun belt was not donuts but the skillet breakfast at Dennys.

LYT:

If Burt Ward’s Robin ever got really mad at Adam West’s Batman, is there anything he could do to win in that fight?

Mmmmmmm. As Batman generally goes down the Batpole first, I would grease it then splat Batman at the bottom.

LYT:

Is there a number of cats that is too much? Or is that like asking me if there is such a thing as too many toys?

Well, I understand in LA county the number legally is three, but they are trying to get this raised to five indoor ones. As you know I have five, but I don’t think there is any limit in the county where I live. I think as long as you can keep up with the food and litter boxes the sky is the limit. You can never have too many balls of furry lovin’. As for the toys, you need lots of them. I have an entire kitchen drawer devoted to extras as we are always stepping on and breaking one. Also they tend to steal Julia’s smaller stuffed toys that are still here in the house. Keep in mind my house is 2500 square feet so I have lots of space. We all fit nicely in the Cal King bed.

davelog:

Dear Luke’s MIL,
My wife has this pastry-filling doodad that is essentially a caulking gun for food, and she’s been on a tear lately making filled cupcakes, which I am then obliged to help eat. Such hardships I must endure.
Anyway, the last couple batches have been frogs (yellow cake, strawberry filling, green icing with candy eyes on top) and apple spice (spice cake, apple filling, cream cheese frosting). She’s now decided that the next goo to get the gun is going to be banana pudding, so what kind of cupcake/frosting combo would you recommend to go around banana pudding?

Yellow cake with banana frosting; orange and pineapple also is tasty with banana. My husband was always the taste tester and he just loved it.

Timely_Flower-Hermit:

Thanks for the advice, I’ll remember it!

Luckily you don’t generally have to declare a major until your 3rd year so you have some time. Please get a degree in something to fall back on unless you like waiting tables. It is very hard to get into voice-over for cartoons. Many, many times they hire known actors – a name in any form of acting sells rather than a no name. If you are in LA or New York take some classes in VO so you can build the resume. You may also have to join a union to get work. Julia went to film school at Chapman University in Orange, CA (Dodge School). However she got her degree in PR/advertising. She also attended the New York Film Academy. She has also taken voice over classes. Also do some student projects; then you get items to put on your reel. Don’t just limit your self to the voice-over for cartoons. Anything in acting – you sort of have to use a sho gun effect and do a bunch of stuff. You will probably also need an agent and/or manager.

clashctyrkr:

i’ve become smitten with the show masterchef jr. i’m a sucker, being away from my kids, seems to let me find joy in other kids when i do see it. should i see a doctor or the doctor or @DrAbraxas?

I love Master Chef and Master Chef Jr. Those kids are great and I learn a lot from them. I don’t think you need to see a doctor. But when you get back with your kids maybe it would be fun to do a mini master chef with them. Cooking with adults can be lots of fun for kids and it makes a great afternoon activity and then you get to eat together when done. My other fav cooking shows are Rachael Ray, Chopped, Kitchen Nightmares and anything Gordon Ramsay.

Scaramouchia:

Exactly what are the requirements for auditioning for a play? I did a play in high school (A one-act comedy in which I played a zombie homeless lady; it was amazing), and I auditioned for musical in my senior year (I didn’t get in), and I am curious about acting again. In those auditions, we were given part of a script (In the one-act, we didn’t have anytime to practice since we were given the scripts at the only audition (It was a One-Act Festival)), for the musical we got part of a song and on the last audition day we were taught a dance. Is this generally what happens in community theater? Or do we have to bring in our own song and monologue (This is how the acting competitions I was in worked)?

I am the most familiar with community theater. Out here we have 2 of them. Generally for a musical, which I love to do, you bring your own music on a CD or MP3; sometimes they will have a piano and you can bring sheet music. Sometimes they will ask show tune or non show tune. Most of our directors don’t want to hear a song from the show and please no “Tomorrow” from Annie. They tune that right out. When I do a show tune, my standard is “Feed the Birds” from Mary Poppins. They listen as no one else does it. So you get their attention right off the start. For non-show tune I do something from the Carpenters; most of Karen’s songs are in my range. For comedy or drama they generally will like a monologue. A good one I use is from Working and I use the factory worker – very strong piece. Again it is something that not a lot of people use so it gets attention. I have been doing community theater since the early 1990’s and will be getting back into it this year. Planning on auditioning for The Addams Family Musical later this year.

Professional auditons are different. They generally send you “sides” anywhere from a day or two or maybe only hours before the audition. You learn the lines and do them in front of the casting director. Lots of times they will have you do them several different ways. Generally with professionals the longer you are in front of the casting director, the more consideration you are getting.

Community theater is lots of fun and even if you don’t get a part they generally need back stage helpers and that can be lots of fun too. Break a leg.

Gallen_Dugall:

I find the description of the USAlund as “gun loving” to be rather prejudiced, as if access to a tool is an extravagance. Much like the way mass transit advocates call the culture “car loving” instead of admitting mass transit simply won’t work for most people. I prefer the term “practical” as some of us don’t depend on the intervention of magical pixie-faeries to cover our personal safety or get us from place to place.
It’s a attitude that is returning to Europe.

Totally agree. It is a sterotype. A lot of people in the U.S. don’t like guns any more than folks in other countries. It is unfortunate in the world today that guns are a necessity in a lot of places. I like open carry laws, but with this comes the responsibility to be properly trained and also to be fully accountable for your actions.

Attached a couple of new pics from Skirata Aliit and the project that they are doing for the meet in Anaheim later this year. How would you like this in your back yard? Could you imagine being a new neighbor, coming home at night and seeing these guys running around. We have lots of fun out here in Joshua Tree. If you are interested in the clan and what they are up to check out the Facebook page.

Well gang, that seems to be all the questions for this week. Keep them coming. Next week I have to venture down to San Bernardino to get my ID picture taken for the Sheriff Dept. The volunteer academy is susposed to start in March, looking forward to doing this. Waiting until next week to go as I currently have a nice black eye from the surgery and don’t want that on my ID card. LOL. So meanwhile I have to brush up on my 10 code.

So as always be good to each other this next week and Huggs.

Got questions? Martha answers all, from the earth-shattering to the trivial and even the weird. Post yours in the comments below.