It's only natural, with The Croods opening today in theaters - not to mention news of a study that Neanderthals may have been condemned to extinction because too much of their skull space was devoted to their eyes and not enough to their brains - that cavemen might be much on your mind lately. Here are ten great pop-culture troglodytes of the past century, with those tiresomely ubiquitous denizens of Bedrock excluded from consideration, because let's face it, we like our number ones to be slightly less predictable than the plot of a Dreamworks animated film.
10. Alley Oop
V. T. Hamlin's classic funny-paper caveman originated in 1932, gave rise to a catchy novelty song and remains in syndication to this day. He has killer abs, and his woman, Oola, reputedly based on Hamlin's wife, is pretty hot as well. In 1939, Oop was brought to the 20th Century by a time machine, and soon began hopping throughout history. He even flew to the moon at one point, which you could certainly call a giant leap for cavemankind.
So you hated the Bayformers redesign and wanted an Optimus that looked more "boxy," eh?
It doesn't get more boxy than cardboard.
I have questions - how does designer Paul Warner get that thing in and out of his house? And is it wrong that, despite how impressive it is, I want more? Like, to see it fully painted and transformable? And...is this Optimus Prime under 21, because I hear he always gets carded? (ba-dum-bum!)
Nice work, Mr. Warner. Now you must figure out how to make a cardboard trailer that conveniently disappears.
h/t Jonathan McClellan via Obvious Winner
It's too bad I just missed Gorey's birthday with this one. On the heels of Clive Barker doing his version of the morbidly merry author/artist's Gashlycrumb Tinies, in which children meet death in alphabetical and rhyming ways, we now have a video-game version.
"A is for Aerith, stabbed right through the tummy, B is for Bowser, whose bridgework was crummy, C is for Crono, or was that his double, D is for Dhalsim, who had yoga trouble"
The whole thing is available on a poster.
A is for awesome, this poster I need;
B is for buying, I'll do it in greed;
C is for credit card, mine is maxed out;
D is for debt, and forever, no doubt.
It's no special effect, nor is it a new cloaking device inspired by Predator and the Red Dawn remake. It's old-fashioned hard work and dedication: Liu Bolin stays very still for hours while his assistants paint him to match the background.
Given Chinese safety standards, I hope they use a better class of paint than has shown up on some children's toys from there. Because I want this guy to keep doing stuff like this for a long time without being poisoned through his skin.
via Twisted Sifter
This post is dedicated to everyone who misses Fan Fiction Friday.
One of my college roommates was the type of guy who'd always slip a porno video into the player, then when it got accidentally turned on, would go "I swear to God, I have no idea how that got in there." He also claimed that as a kid, he would make his action figures fuck. Years later, he came out of the closet, for real. Anyway, that's who I thought of when this calendar was brought to my attention.
Fifty-two images of toys in sex positions. Every sex position.
Other images include aliens anal-probing Fox Mulder, Cobra Commander fucking a dog, Ewoks gang-banging Slave Leia, and of course (of course!) the G.I. Joe Human Centipede...
I'm sorry, I know this was Rob's gimmick and I'm infringing but I can't think of any other response than...
You can buy the calendar for $25 from "Vince Kramer, Coolest Guy Ever."
h/t Cameron Pierce