Friday Tidbits and Weekend Open Thread - Bob Kane Birthday Edition

Friday, October 24, 2014 at 7:03 pm

Batman_Kane.jpg

Happy birthday, Bob.

There'll be no recap thread Monday - all the Halloween lists need their slots next week. Here are some last things to start your weekend.

-A full-length feature made for the Oculus Rift is available now.

-Tractor beam: ON!

-Tyler Perry just went Full Poochie.

-Shia LaBeouf is a cannibal.

- Sarah Connor vs. Jason Voorhees.

-Jon Voight in a terrible fatsuit for some reason.

-RUMOR: Joel Schumacher to write Batman comic that would showcase his original vision for the Bat-nip flicks.

-Hikari is Groot.

New Harry Potter Short Story Is Coming for Halloween

Friday, October 24, 2014 at 5:26 pm

umbridgewikia.jpg

It will focus on Dolores Umbridge, because she has to be somebody's favorite character, right?

According to the announcement, the new tale will clock in at 1,700 words, chronicling a rich "back story about Umbridge's life filled with many new details, as well as Rowling's revealing first-person thoughts and reflections about the character."
Somehow I feel like we already saw this...

Didn't we?

Oh yeah....

More >>

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie Remade as a Single-Take Horror Short Might Ruin Your Childhood Forever

Thursday, October 23, 2014 at 11:30 am

mousecookiehorror.jpg

I was only recently made aware of the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, in which an increasingly demanding mouse makes like the conservative stereotype of a welfare recipient, and just keeps requesting more and more free handouts after you grant him one kind act of charity. I am informed by the person who shares my apartment that in context, it is in fact very cute.

Naturally, Some People on the Internet have made it into a horror movie short. Tales From the Crypt and Funny Games were the most obvious inspirations, but there are more to be found therein. In this mousetrap, the mouse traps you. And he wants more than just a glass of milk this time.

George Lucas was quite kind to your youth by comparison.

More >>

New Hobbit-Themed Air New Zealand Safety Video Literally Shits on Sylvester McCoy

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 2:00 pm

shit_mccoy.jpg

Airline safety videos already feel like an unwelcome extension of the flight preamble, after you've taken longer than necessary to wait for boarding, board the plain and then linger on the tarmac. So what better movie property to associate with them than The Hobbit, which knows a thing or two about unwelcome lengthenings?

This isn't the first such collaboration - that happened in 2012, and both Rob and I enjoyed it. But now? The stereotypical basement-dweller nerd who craves the One Ring? The bird droppings falling on poor Sylvester in real time? The weird and creepy way the Battle of the Five Armies turns into a group hug? The freakin' END CREDITS on a safety video, because it isn't long enough already?

Hmm, these really do follow my feelings about the Hobbit trilogy almost exactly.

More >>

If Modern Horror Villains Invaded "The Monster Mash"...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm

updatedmonstermash.jpg

The Universal monsters were able to plug into any number of more family friendly spin-offs back in the day - Abbott and Costello comedies, General Mills cereals, Rankin-Bass stop-motion specials - but could their modern counterparts do the same?

In this video from the Key of Awesome and Barely Political, a Karloff-like Frankenstein tries to sing the classic movie-inspired monster dance hit, but finds himself just a tad appalled at the way the new guys (and one girl) integrate themselves. The makeup effects may not be state of the art, but the impersonations are good and the rhymes are solid. It still doesn't reveal what happened to the Transylvania Twist.

More >>

Ian McKellen as Gandalf Threatens Schoolchildren Who Don't Study

Monday, October 20, 2014 at 11:30 am

shallnotpass.jpg

"Sir Ian McKellen came to visit Chew Valley School on 17th October 2014. He had this important message for the students gathered outside the library"

Note to Americans not overly familiar with "English-English" - "revision" means "studying."

With that in mind...here's Ian yelling at kids.

More >>

Documentary Mudbloods Covers the UCLA Quidditch Team (Yes, UCLA Has a Quidditch Team)

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 at 2:45 pm

mudbloods.jpg

If we could take this documentary film back in time to the days of the first Revenge of the Nerds movie, I think heads would explode at the confluence of jock aggression and pure nerdery on display in the same place. Not only have dedicated fans turned a fictional sport that involves flying into something real, but as the trailer below shows, they've somehow made it as violent as rugby.

I'm curious to see if enterprising fans can now take that How to Train Your Dragon sport of dropping sheep into baskets into a live-action thing.

Mudbloods is available online as of today. The trailer makes me way more curious than I was before.

More >>

9 Interesting Ways Edge of Tomorrow/Live. Die. Repeat. Differs from its Source Material

Tuesday, October 7, 2014 at 8:00 am

aynik-title.jpg

Today is a day which I fondly refer to as All You Need is Kills-mas, the day that Edge of Tomorrow comes out on DVD and Blu-ray. You know: Edge of Tomorrow, the Tom Cruise-Emily Blount science fiction spectacle that skidded hard at the box office, despite delighting both critics and the audiences who actually got out and saw it. Edge of Tomorrow, which plays like a sadistic Groundhog Day, as Cruise's character dies over and over again, caught in a time loop, trying to somehow win a seemingly impossible battle. Edge of Tomorrow, inexplicably retitled Live Die Repeat after already being inexplicably retitled from its original moniker, the fabulous, can't-forget-it-once-you've-heard-it All You Need is Kill. Edge of Tomorrow is notable for being an adaptation of a Japanese science fiction novel by Hiroshi Sakurazawa - Japanese SF isn't something that's commonly been mined for Hollywood blockbusters.


More >>

The Other Rapture Movie "in Theaters" Might Be the Camp Classic You Wanted From Left Behind

Monday, October 6, 2014 at 10:00 am

finaltherapture.jpg

According to the official website of Final, this movie is actually in theaters now - though I suspect it needs an updating. I have never heard of it, but I suppose it's possible. Filmed in seven countries, this is a Rapture movie that apparently spends a lot of time in Japan, where the filmmakers don't seem to realize that the relatively small percentage of pre-tribulation Christians would make their disappearance almost unnoticed, if it happened.

Alas, if only we could have gotten Nicolas Cage to participate in exchanges like:
"The Rapture happened."
"The Rapture, what is that?"
"You don't wanna know, lady - you don't wanna know!"

"An impassioned defense of God in a world gone mad," says Variety, in a parallel dimension other than this one. Quit fighting, people. If you guys could've pooled your resources this might have been something.


More >>

I READ YOUR FANFIC! "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles" Part 2 by proudhousewife

Friday, October 3, 2014 at 1:00 pm

harryleftbehind.jpg

If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

I now definitely think this fanfic is trolling. But it's not like I'd read it any differently if it weren't.

Title: "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles" by proudhousewife

Logline: Harry Potter finds Jesus thanks to redneck Hagrid, and goes to prayer school. In this telling, Hogwarts is in the American South, and Hermione is Dumbledore's daughter, proving he's not gay.

Acts Involved: Prayer, prayer and more prayer for really frivolous stuff. Plus much talk of penises and masturbation...by my cameraman, not the fanfic itself.

Participants: Harry Potter, Hagrid, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Jesus Christ, God.

The Live Reading/Performance...

More >>