Game of Thrones' Sophie Turner Describes What "Real Housewives of Westeros" Would Be Like

Thursday, March 26, 2015 at 1:00 pm


I know; "Real Housewives of Westeros" sounds like some bad YouTube sketch where wide-eyed fanboys in bad wigs and terrible drag make endless awful jokes about winter coming.

Vanity Fair doesn't play that game. They just got the real Sansa Stark to describe exactly how a reality show would go down in the Seven Kingdoms. The events she comes up with, I would watch. See if you would too.

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Fictional Death Expert George R.R. Martin Tells Walking Dead Characters How to Survive.

Thursday, March 26, 2015 at 12:00 pm


I think we all know that the actual answer to the question, "How will these particular fictional characters survive?" is "Don't be in a George R.R. Martin book." Still, that hasn't stopped the mass-murderer of his own creations from weighing in on TV's The Walking Dead, with what he thinks is a practical solution for Rick and company.

Given their location in Georgia, it's actually not practical at all. But knowing Martin, you can see why he might think of it. Want to know his brilliant solution?

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Castles for Sale This Easter

Thursday, March 26, 2015 at 6:30 am


Martha Boyd is former LAPD, a licensed property appraiser and a self-described crazy cat lady. None of which has prepared her for TR readers. All questions and answers are real.

Hi all. Well, we are back under the control of LYT. They escaped for the weekend and I understand they had a good time in Las Vegas, and got to ride on the world's tallest Ferris wheel...and that is has a bar in it. Only in Vegas. They also hit up one of the best seafood buffets in town at the Rio. I can second that the on buffet; they took me there one time when we were in town for a pageant and it was the best. Yes, we have dragged LYT to a beauty pageant one time. Julia was a judge and he came along for the ride and to see how she got all of the crowns that he now has to live with. Witney did a good job for the site - I enjoyed many of the pieces. This has been another busy week of appraising for me, but it's all good as there will be times when work is slow, and you have to work when the work is here. This week I got to appraise a property that was at one time owned by James Cagney - how cool is that?

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Steven Spielberg Set to Direct Ready Player One, Because He Can

Wednesday, March 25, 2015 at 12:23 pm


Spielberg doesn't exactly strike me as a big gamer - if he were, would he have allowed Atari E.T. to exist? There's a reason LucasArts came to be rather than SpielbergArts.

And yet if anyone has the clout to get all the necessary permissions for all the third-party brands included in the narrative - or at least as many as possible - it's the one director in Hollywood who can pretty much do whatever he wants all the time, and isn't too busy with underwater missions to make sequels.

WB president Greg Silverman has a point - they got a LOT of brands onboard for The Lego Movie, including some WB doesn't own. I'm not expecting the next Wreck-It Ralph, but this has to at least be better than Pixels, right?

Rob Liefeld's Adventures of Adam and Eve

Monday, March 16, 2015 at 4:35 pm


"Even the most conservative estimates put Adam and Eve in the Garden at least 100 years, we don't really believe they were laying around staring longingly at each other the entire time right?"

This is a real thing that is happening. I can't wait.

Disney Reveals Frightening New Details About Live-Action Beauty and the Beast

Monday, March 16, 2015 at 11:21 am


So yeah, I just got a press release that says "The beloved tale will be retold for the big screen with a modern live-action lens and the help of transformative CG magic."

Who at Disney thought "transformative CG magic" was a positive that needed to be talked up? Really? I do intend to add it to my vocabulary in a completely ironic way, because I do that.

The movie's also opening on St. Patrick's Day of 2017, and will include new songs as well as the old ones. It's like they're trying to screw up the inevitable drunken sing-alongs by confusing us. But on the plus side, Kevin Kline and Emma Thompson have joined the cast, making the appearance of Luke Evans in the lead role even more baffling by comparison. Full release text below:

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RIP Discworld Author Terry Pratchett

Thursday, March 12, 2015 at 9:58 am

Federico Giacanelli

Following eight years of Alzheimer's and advocacy for assisted suicide, the pioneering author and early computer adapter "took Death's arm and followed him through the doors and on to the black desert under the endless night." He was 66.

His death was announced in the most authorly fashion imaginable.

I confess I do not know his work especially well, but for those of you who do, here's your space.

Watership Down May Be Getting a Remake...for the Wrong Goddamn Reasons

Tuesday, March 10, 2015 at 1:26 pm


As a fan of the book, I am - in theory - okay with a new filmed version, if the reasoning behind it is to go back and do the full story properly, without having to condense it into two hours or having any Art Garfunkel on the soundtrack.

Naturally, that's not the reason being given for doing one.

"People love the 1978 film in but with new CGI technology we can do amazing things - you can see the wind blowing the fur which you didn't get with the cartoon film," a mole (or should that rabbit?) tells
Yeah, and you'll also traumatize the kids way more when photo-realistic bunnies tear each others' throats out. The book doesn't over-emphasize the violence, but by not shying away from it, the cartoon inevitably did relative to other cartoons about animals.

Then again, the Radio Times article that's claiming this also seems to think Thumper from Bambi is a character in Watership Down, so maybe, mercifully, this is BS.

[Nice book cover, by the way. Who is the potential reader who thinks, "Watership Down, eh? I wonder if this is by the same guy who wrote the follow-up to Watership Down?"]

via Cartoon Brew

Disney Publishing Officially Rules out Star Wars Erotica

Tuesday, March 10, 2015 at 9:13 am


Relax, fan fiction writers. You're not going to have any official competition...for now. In the run-up to The Force Awakens, twenty-some new books will bridge the gap from the original trilogy with material that will be official canon...

Cecil Castellucci (author of Tin Star) will write Moving Target, an adventure following Princess Leia; Jason Fry, who earlier wrote Darth Maul: Shadow Conspiracy, will be the author of The Weapon of a Jedi, about Luke Skywalker; Claudia Gray, author of the Evernight series of fantasy books, will write a book titled Lost Stars; and Greg Rucka, a comic book scribe and writer of the Atticus Kodiak novels, will pen Smuggler's Run, a Han Solo tale.
...however, the Entertainment Weekly exclusive announcement concludes with this:
One publishing phenomenon you shouldn't expect from Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens?


In other words, no Yoda-themed 50 Shades of Green.

You now have your mission, should you choose to accept it.

Shailene Woodley, Whose Appeal Lies in Not Looking Like Barbie, Gets a Barbie

Monday, March 9, 2015 at 12:30 pm


I guess this is the girl equivalent of Stan Lee getting a He-Man physique and godly bio in the Masters of the Universe line. Shailene Woodley buffed up to play Tris in the Divergent movies, so of course the Barbie version slims her down again to starvation levels.

As I live with a Barbie collector who is not bothered by unrealistic body images, I can't really claim that this is a problem. I just know that if I worked out to get bigger, I'd be pissed if my toy then became a waif.