Walking Dead/Star Wars Writer Gary Whitta Pitches Star Trek Toilet Training Book Pooping Is Logical

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 10:27 am

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He's written Walking Dead video games, The Book of Eli, and the next Star Wars movie, Rogue One. But as a nerd parent, Gary Whitta wants his next project to be a book about Vulcans taking a dump.

Here's the problem. We can't get anyone to take this seriously. My agents have reached out to the people at Paramount and Bad Robot, who currently hold sway over anything Trek-related, and they apparently have no interest. Something about not wanting to associate their brand with poop? Whatever. I'm fairly confident that geeky parents of my generation would be all over a book like this. I can't imagine a better nerdy baby shower gift. It's intended to make potty-training - an often arduous and prolonged endeavor at the best of times - fun for both kids and their parents.
Could it just be that Vulcans don't use slang, and they'd say "defecation is logical"? Whatever. The book is written, but the licensing approval is the issue; as such, Whitta has issued a plea to people to reblog the idea and see what kind of support is out there for this idea.

He had me at Vulcans taking a dump

Official Book Guide to Lego Minifigs Comes With Exclusive Zombie Skateboarder

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 2:04 pm

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Brainssss, duuuude! A mash-up of two characters from the first collectible Minifig series, this li'l guy is aces at both gleaming the cube and eating your skin. He can also double as an Iggy Pop action figure, in case you need one.

But the skating dead isn't the only reason to pick up the upcoming I Love That Minifigure - the fact that it's a detailed visual guide to over 200 of them is the main one. Even though you know by now that everything is awesome, you need to know the specifics of exactly how awesome, and why, because anything less is a nerd fail. So feed your geek brain - that way it'll be nice and plump for Zombie Skater to enjoy later.

Play a Moby Dick Game as the White Whale...With Lasers!

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 9:58 am

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Pequod is the sort of outside-the-box reimagining you'd think a movie would have done by now. Except maybe the lasers part.

A procedurally generated action game about a whale named Mobias trying to survive the onslaught of an obsessive captain named Ahab. Obtain items and add ons that make your whale more powerful. Fight through the waves of enemy ships, subs and airships until you are able to face Ahab's ship the Pequod.

Features

-5 different races with over 100 Enemies and Bosses

-Lots of different items and weapons

-A RPG stat system that includes Damage, Magic Damage, Luck, Speed and Madness
Shops, traps, sacrifice alters and more

I await a sequel in which the whale learns how to wear clothes, and then removes them. We can call it "Mobias Strip."


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8 Reasons Ernest Cline's Armada Is Nothing Like Ready Player One (and Why That's Not a Bad Thing)

Friday, July 24, 2015 at 5:00 am

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The meteoric rise of Ernest Cline should be an inspiration to all of nerdkind. I unknowingly first encountered his work when I read his Buckaroo Banzai sequel script that made the rounds in the early days of the Internet, and from there he went on to script Fanboys; a love letter to the Star Wars saga that was full of heart, even if the finished product was a little mediocre. His title of King of the Nerds was obtained with the release of his first novel, Ready Player One, in which young nerd everyman Wade Watts searches the virtual-reality replacement to the internet for an Easter Egg worth more than he could possibly imagine. Ready Player One practically became a nerd holy book overnight. The wildly popular tome was optioned for a film the day after release, and is currently in pre-production with Steven Spielberg sitting in the captain's chair.

Last week, Cline's second novel Armada hit book shelves everywhere. Less than a week later, it's ranked 59th overall on the Amazon Best Sellers page, with a visit to the New York Times bestseller list almost guaranteed in the near future. It's the story of Zack Lightman, a completely average, normal nerdy teen who discovers that his favorite video game is a lot more important than just entertainment. The question is: does Cline replicate the success he found in Ready Player One? Let's find out...with minimal spoilers.

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There Be Monsters in the Comic-Con Trailer for Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Thursday, July 23, 2015 at 12:33 pm

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That's Killer Croc, isn't it? Or are alligator men just the next big Comic-Con trend?

I like the curveball of just a random monster at the end of a trailer for a movie in a series that generally doesn't have them. Turning war into one giant obstacle course - well, while that seems on one level like an awful kind of simplification, it is just fiction, and they've dealt well with Katniss' PTSD so far.

Not sure why President Snow doesn't just drop nukes on them again. I guess the books might explain that better, but it's certainly not like deterrence is in effect.

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Please, Hollywood, Option Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick NOW

Friday, July 17, 2015 at 9:00 am

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I think we all knew things would get interesting when Amazon began allowing fan fiction. But with this, they have exceeded my expectations.

Kirk Cameron has set up his Pray The Gay Away Camp. He is hoping for it to be a hit Reality TV Show. While most boys are open to letting go of their homosexual ways, JJ a young gay man who practices Chaos Magick has other plans. When JJ finishes his spell and unleashes hot Cheese Jesus, a crockoduck, and Boner Stabone, Kirk Cameron will feel passion and some sexy Growing Pains. A 7,500 word novellete of hot gay orgy action, involving crockoducks, sexy holy cheese, Chaos Magick, oral sex, anal, clone 69ing, and Stigmata hand sex.
Kirk Cameron himself should make this movie - it would automatically be a million per cent better than that terrible Christmas thing he did last. And he could claim he's just exposing Crocoducks for the sinful creatures that they are.

Here's an excerpt:

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First Clip From Sherlock Christmas Special Gets Back to Book Basics

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 at 10:02 am

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If you've ever wished Sherlock would just be set in Arthur Conan Doyle's time for more accuracy to source, you finally get your wish. This first look at Victorian Cumberbatch dropped last week, but was easily missed in the Comic-Con madness. Thankfully, Indiewire dug it up and now we can run with it.

The episode will air as a theatrical movie in limited markets.

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SDCC 2015: Why Did The Mockingjay Cross The Road?

Thursday, July 9, 2015 at 1:44 pm

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Wait for it...


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TR Interview: Weta's Richard Taylor on the Effects of Warcraft, Middle-earth and Avatar 2

Thursday, July 9, 2015 at 4:00 am

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The founder of the special effects studio most notably utilized by Peter Jackson took a few minutes to talk to us about the Warcraft movie, Narnia, The Hobbit and even Avatar 2.

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Warren Ellis to Write New James Bond Comics for Dynamite

Monday, July 6, 2015 at 9:15 am

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As part of an official partnership with Ian Fleming Productions, the Transmetropolitan writer, whose Bond-ish graphic novel RED was already adapted into two more comedic films, will be penning new 007 stories, featuring, in his words, "the original, brutal, damaged Bond of the books." Ian Fleming's great-nephew, who has the hilariously Bond-ish name of Diggory Laycock...yes, let that sink in for a moment...approves. "We were thrilled when Warren agreed to write the first story in this exciting new chapter of literary James Bond. Warren's style is gritty, dark, and unique, and we can't wait to see James Bond embroiled in an adventure of his creation."

Diggory Laycock.

No more complaining that Bond girl names are unrealistic after that. The first story arc will be called VARGR, which has to be an acronym for something, and is about how "James Bond returns to London after a mission of vengeance in Helsinki, to take up the workload of a fallen 00 Section agent... but something evil is moving through the back streets of the city, and sinister plans are being laid for Bond in Berlin." Well, if it's Bond, something better be laid, I suppose.