Weekend Hangover: Anne Rice Rebooted, Milli Vanilli and Mario, Rubber Duck and Bondage

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 6:00 am


What stories might you (and we) have missed over the weekend? Fear not, dear readers, for many of them have been gathered here for your perusal via reader submissions, and the assistance of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include James.k.Polk, SlyDante777, NebulaJack, troi, DrAbraxas, Gallen_Dugall, Dr.Gonzo82, rkwsupserstar, donnaryoko, Timely-Tardis-Lego

More >>

I Wasn't Going to Write About Left Behind Again, but I Saw This...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014 at 3:00 pm


The other best part of their new press release is this:

"My greatest hope for this movie is that people will be entertained and thrilled by it, but also that they'll go home and have conversations with their family, and ask 'do you think this could happen, or couldn't happen?' and it'll inspire discussion and closeness," says leading actor Nicolas Cage.
Well, I guess it wouldn't be politic to say "My greatest hope for the movie is that I'll get a paycheck and take care of some of my staggering debt."

But here's a spoiler alert - the "discussion" that will take place in my house:

"Do you think this could happen?"

End of discussion. But there's another reason Cage says he took the role, and I'll just leave it below (it's nothing whatsoever to do with religion)...

More >>

Left Behind Appears to Be Trying to Make Nic Cage Un-Fun...and Failing

Tuesday, August 5, 2014 at 2:30 pm


Yes, this new trailer offers hints that the remade Left Behind will suffer the same weakness as so many explicitly faith-based films, like a painful earnestness combined with absolutely terrible Christian pop that only sells to people who'll buy literally any song that's about Jesus.

But then Nicolas Cage starts yelling technobabble, and you kinda think, "Well, maybe..."

For those referring to this as a potential 15-movie franchise, incidentally, it's worse than that - this new movie only covers the first half of book one. Because it was such a complex work of literature and all. I want this to be wonderfully bad, but it may end up just plain bad.

More >>

The Strain SPOILER Talkback: Autopsy-licious!

Monday, August 4, 2014 at 10:00 am


I'm guessing this will be the last episode to close on the creepy little girl as usual. Did the guy in the shed remind anyone else of Shaun of the Dead?

Weekend Hangover: 16 Stories You May Have Missed, From Female Ghostbusters to Sharknado Perfume

Monday, August 4, 2014 at 6:00 am


Rounding up some stories you may have missed over the weekend, some of which were noticed by me and others of which were submitted by you, the readers, on the weekend thread. Compiled as always with the help of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include: SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, James.k.Polk, donnaryoko, franciebrady27, latigid, Edwin Santos, Dr.Gonzo82

More >>

Weekend Open Thread: Damn You Michael Bay Edition

Friday, August 1, 2014 at 6:13 pm

He's gone too far with the changes this time:


In other things:

-Bill Murray to voice Baloo opposite Christopher Walken's King Louie in Disney's live-action Jungle Book, which makes me think Wes Anderson should be directing.

-The Dead Island movie might be happening again.

-Doctor Who to debut Peter Capaldi in theaters before TV, and of course CHris Hardwick found a way to be involved.

-There's a food truck for dogs, because dogs are so discriminating in what they put their mouths on.

-Dragonriders of Pern to be a movies series.

-Artist SUCKLORD sells unique spins on Star Wars figures.

-Leatherface may get a teenage angst prequel. And yes, I just typed that.


Friday, August 1, 2014 at 8:00 am


If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"


Logline: I have no goddamn idea. It starts with Harry Potter and Dobby skullfucking people with groinsaws, then moves on to hats being thrown into space and the history of America as told by insane people.

Acts Involved: Skullfucking, groinsaws, cannibalism, demon rape, vomit, disembowelment, menstruation, decapitation, space vaginas, murder of planets, vampirism, beastiality, sex with dragons, implied racism, incest, BDSM, cross-dressing, crying fetish, "rape ape," diaper fetish, castration...but in more innocent and weird ways than you'd think.

Participants: Harry Potter, Dobby, Ray Bradbury, various made-up characters whose names keep changing.

The Live Reading/Performance...

More >>

The 5 Most Frustrating Moments From Game of Thrones Season 4 (And 5 Ways to Wait for Next Year)

Thursday, July 31, 2014 at 6:00 am


It's been a little while since the 4th Season Finale of the TV sensation based on George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire novels aired on US television. That means we're now at the point where it's more or less okay to talk about the season as a whole, provided that readers understand that an article like this requires ONE BIG ENTIRE SPOILER WARNING! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL THE SEASON FOUR EPISODES AND STILL WANT TO BE SURPRISED THEN YOU SHOULD STOP READING

Just to be clear, this article is aimed primarily at people who watch the show but don't read the books. Thus, there won't be any discussion of material from the books that has not yet been worked into the show. First up will be a look at the changes from the source material that were frustrating for those of us who have read the novels, so that the rest of you can understand why we're wigging out on some things. Following that will be some helpful tips for curbing your cravings for more Game of Thrones stuff during the long wait for next years episodes.

So if you haven't seen all 10 episodes of Season 4, turn back now (or at least don't get pissed at being spoiled).

More >>

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 Trailer

Sunday, July 27, 2014 at 10:56 pm


I like that this franchise maintains the balance between being a rebel and being media-savvy. I also like the pseudo-Power Lords troopers.

On the other hand, I saw Catching Fire twice and found it quite tedious the second time. I hope this is better.

More >>

Joe Hill Talks Horns, Locke and Key, Jack Nicholson

Saturday, July 26, 2014 at 4:00 pm


He's the creator of Locke and Key, the author of Horns and the son of a King...a fact he managed to keep hidden for a decade despite looking and sounding just like his famous father. Though they disagree on the merits of Jack Nicholson.

With Alexandre Aja now directing the movie version of Horns, Hill, who has been highly satisfied with the outcome, was anxious to tell us why we should rush to see what one could call "The Devil in Daniel Radcliffe." The author is certainly not your average Joe...

More >>