First Still From HBO's Westworld Is Not the Reverse Cowgirl You Were Looking for

Wednesday, December 24, 2014 at 10:00 am

John P. Johnson/HBO

I told her with that pale complexion that she'd burn too easily! Our first real look at Westworld features a killer cowgirl-bot, and a quote from Jonathan Nolan that he's basically making Las Vegas on steroids...with cowboy Terminators.

"It's a place where you can be whoever you want to be and there are no consequences--no rules, no limitations," Nolan says. "What happens in Westworld, stays in Westworld."
Yes, but John...when Caesar's Palace breaks down, the slot machines don't shoot the tourists!

Please don't suck.

(not that I have HBO anyway.)

It's Thor vs. an Evil Whale In the Heart of the Sea

Tuesday, December 23, 2014 at 12:00 pm


In an alleged representation of something that actually happened to inspire the writing of Moby Dick - but more directly, inspired the writing of a book with the same name as this movie - In the Heart of the Sea pits Chris Hemsworth against a giant whale that attacks for no reason. Because what cause would a whale have to attack a boat that's loaded with harpoons? Surely none.

I congratulate the whales, though, on getting past the insidious typecasting of always being gentle, sensitive things. It's about time Hollywood realized that not all whales are nice, and some are just pissy jerks, or even downright villainous. Look, if they're really as smart as us, some have to be as awful as us. Sea World is right to put the smaller ones in pens, don'cha know.

This should play gangbusters in Japan. And it looks kinda fun for a Ron Howard movie. But realistic? Like I said, it's Thor versus an evil whale.

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies SPOILER Talkback Thread

Thursday, December 18, 2014 at 10:00 am

Thumbnail image for Martin-Freeman-as-Bilbo-Baggins-Peter-Jacksons-THE-HOBBIT-2012.jpeg

Honestly, I'm not sure anyone can spoil this movie - it is, after all, a mostly plotless prequel which you know many of the main characters have to survive. But just in case, here's some spoiler space to discuss it in particular and the entire trilogy in general.

The TR review has been posted for a while. Now it's time for yours.

Hobbit Hole, Meet Cat's Butthole

Monday, December 15, 2014 at 2:29 pm


In the kitty litter box, in the land of the Shire, lives a brave little Hobbit in a stench so dire. The cat took a shit, in his Hobbit hole; 'twas something encouraged, and now he knows his role...

BILBO! Bilbo Baggins. His home's a toilet now...
BILBO! Bilbo Baggins. His least favorite sound is now "Meow."

And that's how we introduce a new "Super-Fan Builds," in which a Hobbit hole litter box and Eye of Sauron scratching post are created.

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Stephen Colbert Interviews Smaug the Dragon

Friday, December 12, 2014 at 2:52 pm


Not a joke. Not a puppet. The actual, movie-accurate digital rendition, with the voice of Cumberbatch.

I'd have put this up earlier, but it took a while to be officially available online. This is perhaps the nerdiest Colbert interview ever.

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Here's the First Look at Disney's Live-Action Jungle Book

Friday, December 12, 2014 at 1:55 pm


I'm no particular fan of the way Disney is remaking all their old cartoons in live-action - it feels like a cheap and cynical way of exploiting a sure thing (though I wish they'd stayed truer to Alice in Wonderland). But I will say that still is gorgeous. I honestly can't tell if it's a photo or concept art.

And this is not to be confused with the other, competing Jungle Book movie with Andy Serkis. Ah, public domain.

(via Oh My Disney!)

Trailer Trifecta: The Little Prince, Pixar's Inside Out, WTC in 3D

Wednesday, December 10, 2014 at 12:08 pm


Question, fans of the book The Little Prince: who is that in the picture above?

Oh, you don't know? Of course not. Based on this trailer, she's an added character to whom the story of the book is told - by a seemingly old and crazy version of the narrator, who has been reimagined as a possibly senile wacky neighbor.

I'm sorry - were we so drowning in accurate adaptations of the much-loved, fine-as-is allegorical picture book that we needed a radically new reimagining?

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7 Terrible Lightsaber Designs From the Star Wars Expanded Universe

Wednesday, December 10, 2014 at 6:00 am

Jedi Academy Training Manual

On November 28, the entire world waited with bated breath for the new Star Wars trailer to give us our first glimpse into a Lucas-free galaxy far, far away. Despite the lack of story or character information, the trailer showed that they at least got the aesthetic of the film right, although they didn't really have to: even if the film were just two hours of C3-P0 lost in a Walmart shouting "R2-D2, where are you?", it would still make a billion dollars at the box office. But with all of the good will that the trailer has gathered, there is one annoying thing that is causing fans on the Internet to complain...

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Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Star Wars English Learner's Dictionary

Monday, December 8, 2014 at 4:00 pm


This could get tricky if Japanese consumers don't necessarily know that Yoda and Jar jar don't talk like typical Americans...

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In an Actual Sign of the Apocalypse, Lifetime Is Doing a Reboot of The Omen

Wednesday, December 3, 2014 at 2:36 pm


Oh yeah, and it stars King Arthur from TV's Merlin, Bradley James, as Damien Thorn. Based on the Deadline report, the thrust of it seems to be similar to The Last Temptation of Christ, or non-literal interpretations of the Gospel of Mark, with Damien not knowing he's the son of Satan until adulthood.

Now, I'm no purist defender of Lifetime, a network that has never held much interest for me - but seeing a male-centric, R-rated horror franchise take root there is one of those things you just don't think you'll ever see. It's like if the Food Network did a Jaws reboot or something.

On the other hand, maybe this is just Satan openly admitting he created Lifetime, owns it, and is now blatantly using it for his own personal propaganda purposes by casting a hunky guy as his son.

Tags: Lifetime, Omen