Like most people who went to see The LEGO Movie, I walked out of the theater shocked at how far the movie surpassed my expectations. I think most people would have been okay with a quick, disposable romp full of toy blocks. Instead Phil Lord and Christopher Miller delivered a twistedly brilliant, mind bending burst of awesomeness that will be talked about for the rest of 2014 and beyond. It's hard to think about everything that this film got right and not immediately think of half a dozen other movies that could benefit from similar good decisions. Anyone familiar with the current state of bottom line oriented studio mentality will have such optimistic hopes dashed rather quickly.
To talk about the lessons that can be learned from this movie, I will of course have to talk about the plot of the movie. So BEWARE OF SPOILERS AHEAD! Seriously, if you haven't seen The LEGO Movie, stop reading this, step away from your computer and get your ass to a theater pronto.More >>
If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"
Title: "Momma Fluttershy" by SoulHook
Logline: My Little Pony's Fluttershy is pregnant, and gets sexually assaulted by tentacles from a dark dimension.
Acts Involved (Part 1 Only): Tentacle sex - vaginal, anal, oral. Consensual intercourse. Pregnancy Fetish.
Participants: Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Big Mac, an evil demon.
The Live Reading...More >>
I can always appreciate an auteur who says, "You know what? Let me take two properties that are great but that nobody cares about right now, and put them together."
Hey, let's face it, that's more or less what James Gunn's done, just with one multi-character property in his case.
So...SpongeBob meets Watchmen, by Rodrigo Huerta. I do have to subtract points for not having Squidward be the instrument of destruction, but he is, after all, following the Snyder version. And David Hasselhoff should have been Dr. Manhattan. Other than that, though, it's the nautical nonsense you'll have watched, five minutes in the future. You're there, sitting at your computer. Four minutes and 45 seconds into the future now. You are typing.
"Luke, you su..."More >>
She's "spunky." She's "feisty." She has attitude. She's a Mandalorian, like Boba Fett. Why, this rebellious girl has colorful streaks in her hair! Tattoo-like designs on her armor! And she's...a graffitti artist?
This is Star Wars, right?
"She seems hip, she knows how to have fun, but she's also serious." You guys basically gave us The Lego Movie's Wyldstyle here without the irony then, am I right? I guess Ahsoka kinda started out as annoyingly fake-hip too before developing depth, but something about this feels so incredibly calculated...and out of place in a galaxy that's only a decade or so away from having everyone looking like it's the late '70s.
If the writing's good, anything can be saved, but...you know what's coming here (aside from about 400 terrible fanfics)...
I have a bad feeling about this.More >>
It's funny - the one time I ever interviewed Ralph Bakshi, the beatnik, boundary-pushing auteur of adult animation, he railed against cartoons that fill Walmart shelves with merchandise, before conceding that if he ever got to make Wizards 2, he'd probably have to agree to some, and that might be okay if it got his political/social messages out to a wider audience.
At 6:30 p.m. Pacific Time, just under an hour from now, he's going to make 15 9" resin statues of Necron 99 from Wizards available via his eBay store for $375, promising smaller, cheaper ones (by which he means $100-$150) later in the year. It seems to me that he knows how to work the system of supply and demand pretty well.
Though I guess with only 15 of them, he can't literally fill a Walmart shelf.
The nexus of all that is molded, sculpted or stitched - Toy Fair - has descended upon collectors once again. With enough wonderful toys to send Jack Nicholson's Joker into cardiac arrest, crowning this year's most exceptional collectibles is no easier than a buying Hot Toys product on a budget. But tough choices must be, and were, made. From sickeningly cute plush dolls to monolithic statues, here are the 2014 Toy Fair items worthy of even Valhalla's display cases.
It is not only Valentine's Day and President's Day weekend, but we also have both the New York Toy Fair and Gallifrey One happening. Monday is a holiday for me, but stay tuned to Topless Robot on Twitter, as we have a guy at Toy Fair over the weekend.
In the meantime, before you all unleash the hounds, here are some last-minute items that got cut for time...
-TOPLESS ROBOT MERCHANDISE is coming! Just bumper stickers for now. All sold at cost.
-Kickstarter for "Period Panties" that feature slogans like "Cunt Dracula" and "Bleeder of the Pack. Also a possibly actionable Grumpy Cat flipping you off.
-The Equestria Girls sequel is coming this year.
-A Catwoman-themed fashion show that somehow manages to be totally unsexy.
-K*Nex does Lego ripoff with Family Guy minifigs. You tink daaat's bad? Why yes, yes I do.
-'90s MTV Alternative Nation fixture Maggie Estep has died.
-Biplanes versus Tripods in new animated War of the Worlds movie.
-Sorry fellas, Ellen Page is forever off the market to you. Ladies - we have some good news...
- "Angry Birds Stella"? Is Marlon Brando suggesting new game names from beyond the grave?
Tipsters included Greggory Basore, Eric Diaz, SlyDante777, and possibly others I'm forgetting.
I guess it might be nearly ready for release after all. Sweeeet.
This video is basically the tutorial part of the game, orienting casual players to turn-based RPG combat. Your character is named Douchebag, and can choose to be a thief, mage, fighter or Jew - Jews can wield shepherd's crooks and the Sling of David.
The idea of having it be a full-on fantasy RPG about foul-mouthed kids LARPing is pretty funny - I'm guessing that the stakes get upped dramatically later on, though, and that even non-RPG gamers might want to at least watch someone else playing the game just to watch the story unfold.More >>
The PONIES: The Anthology trilogy is a series of feature-length compilations of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan videos, largely comprised of short, Robot Chicken-style blackout gags (complete with static bumpers), typically running anywhere from a few seconds to half a minute. The Anthology series are really the only Pony fan videos that I make a point of watching, since they're curated, meaning they're somebody's idea of the best ones out there. Here are my personal favorites of those bests, running about 32 minutes total. Or 22 minutes if you skip 2012: A Pony Odyssey, as I suspect most do.
Given Disney's embrace of Netflix, this makes sense. They'll also be premiering exclusive director's cuts of previous episodes, and be the exclusive streaming service for the entire series.
The Galactic Republic, Disney/ABC Television Group, Lucasfilm and Netflix Inc. today announced the highly anticipated debut of the sixth and final season of the Emmy® Award-winning series Star Wars: The Clone Wars exclusively to Netflix members in the U.S. and Canada on Friday, March 7. Accompanying the 13-episode new season dubbed "The Lost Missions" will be the entire Star Wars: The Clone Wars saga, which includes several director's cut episodes never seen on TV, as well as the feature film. This multi-year agreement also makes Netflix the exclusive subscription service for the entire Star Wars: The Clone Wars series...
Star Wars: The Clone Wars is the first time any Star Wars content has been available for Netflix streaming members. The deal follows a recent announcement from Netflix and The Walt Disney Company to bring multiple original series based on Marvel characters to the service in 2015. Netflix will be the exclusive U.S. subscription television service for first-run, live-action and animated movies from the Walt Disney Studios, including titles from Disney, Walt Disney Animation Studios, Pixar Animation Studios, Marvel Studios, Disneynature and Lucasfilm beginning in 2016. Netflix members can currently enjoy a wide range of Disney, ABC Entertainment Group and Disney Channel films and shows across the 41 countries where Netflix operates.
It was inevitable we'd see them eventually.