This Cartoon Shows Us What a Realistic Furious 7 Film Would Look Like

Monday, May 11, 2015 at 12:03 pm

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Fox ADHD's whole "Scientifically Accurate" series of cartoons based on fictional anthropomorphic animals got kinda played out there at the end (their take on My Little Pony, which ought to have been a highlight, was so disappointing I never even posted it). This, however, is a worthy successor from CollegeHumor - they can't call it "Scientifically Accurate Fast & Furious," but it is.

It's probably true that nobody goes to a Fast & Furious movie expecting realism (well, I'm sure there's SOMEBODY that does, but it probably isn't you), but this reality check is just as ridiculously entertaining as anything Vin Diesel does in a car. And a lot shorter.

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The Jem Movie Is Sounding Worse and Worse

Monday, May 11, 2015 at 9:59 am

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That's Jem, above. Wouldn't have guessed it, would you?

Listen, I may not be the best judge, because I don't actually think the original cartoon was that good. Julia's been watching it very recently, so I don't just speak from nostalgia - it's hugely far-fetched with really stilted voice acting. But I think you have to embrace that, somewhat. The newly revealed details in USA Today don't give me a lot of faith...

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The 19 Nerdiest Submarine Adventures

Thursday, May 7, 2015 at 6:00 am

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Among nerdy modes of transportation, submarines may be underrated. I suppose that the spaceship - or maybe the TARDIS - is the ultimate dream vehicle for nerds, but the submarine would still be high on the list, and it has, abetted by comic book advertising, a sense of plausible attainability the others do not.

So with Black Sea, Kevin Macdonald's heavy-handed but agreeably tense submarine thriller, out on Blu-ray this week, here are a few of the many submarine adventures with nerd appeal. I've focused only on vehicles, by the way, not undersea stations, even though it meant skipping such favorites as Destination Inner Space and DeepStar Six...

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10 Secrets From the Cast & Crew of the '80s Rambo Cartoon

Monday, May 4, 2015 at 6:00 am

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"His name was Rambo, and he was just some nothing kid for all anybody knew..."

So begins David Morrell's harrowing novel First Blood, which I read in one white-knuckle sitting more than three decades ago. Back then, a film adaptation was still a ways off, but the cinematic quality of the writing made a movie version inevitable. The idea that such a brutal book could inspire a children's cartoon, however, was completely absurd. Which makes the 1986 animated series Rambo: The Force of Freedom one of the most unlikely kids shows ever broadcast. Since this month marks the 30th anniversary of the blockbuster movie Rambo: First Blood Part II, I spoke with the cartoon's cast and crew, including Rambo voice actor Neil Ross, head writer/story editor Mike Chain and writer/assistant story editor Jack Bornoff, about the challenges and rewards of bringing Morrell's iconic character to the small screen.

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Weekend Links and Open Thread - May Day Edition

Friday, May 1, 2015 at 3:43 pm

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Some things you might like to see...

-The makers of Banjo-Kazooie have fully crowdfunded a ripoff "spiritual successor" called Yooka-Laylee.

-3A's sexy lady Vader is confusing to me.

-Millennium Falcon cockpit bed is so cool, these boys probably won't even mind not getting laid in it when they're older.

-Every Star Wars Rebels episode so far is online, free.

What else shall we talk about? NOTE: for the benefit of those not seeing it opening weekend, please keep Age of Ultron spoiler talk in the thread designated for that purpose.

T-T-T, MNT! Here's Casey Jones From the Turtles Movie Sequel

Friday, May 1, 2015 at 8:48 am

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Michael Bay

His hair's shorter than usually depicted, but this is at least one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie character who actually looks like he's supposed to.

And if you're asking how Megan Fox can fall for a guy with an expressionless mask on his face at all times, well, the Shia LaBeouf jokes just write themselves, don't they?

Netflix Will Make Green Eggs and Ham; Its Owners Just Don't Give a Damn

Thursday, April 30, 2015 at 8:00 am

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Peter Enzerink

This is news.
News you lose

I chose to snooze
This news, we lose
This announcement gives me the blues!

Netflix to make Green Eggs and Ham?
This seems to me like content spam!
I do not want Green Eggs and Ham!

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First New Dragon Ball TV Series in 18 Years Is in Production

Tuesday, April 28, 2015 at 12:36 pm

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Toei Animation has announced production on Dragon Ball Super (Japanese title; tentative for English release), the first all-new Dragon Ball television series to be released in 18 years. Following the recent events of the hit feature film, Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection 'F', Dragon Ball Super will debut in Japan in July 2015. Reuniting the franchise's iconic characters, Dragon Ball Super will follow the aftermath of Goku's fierce battle with Majin Buu, as he attempts to maintain earth's fragile peace. Overseen by Dragon Ball's original creator, Akira Toriyama and produced with Fuji Television, Dragon Ball Super will draw on its historic past to create a bold, new universe welcoming to fans and endearing to new viewers.
The "endearing to new viewers" part intrigues me, as I have always found every iteration of Dragon Ball utterly impenetrable (save the terrible live-action movie, which I'm pretty sure does not represent the source material in any valid way). I grant that I may not have been paying sufficient attention, but the artwork never especially appealed either, except when it involves Giant Monkey Babies and the like.

For those of you that are into it, I'm happy for you that you get more, and maybe better. As Anyone00, who submitted the link to me, said, "The ongoing apology for GT continues."

Check out the full press release for more.

The Makers of Hello Kitty Introduce Their Newest Creation of Cute - Gudetama, a Sentient Egg Yolk.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015 at 8:00 am

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Meet Gudetama.

You might as well meet him now, because the women of the world will force you to acknowledge his existence sooner or later. Launched in Japan two years ago, the character, who if you think about it is basically a chicken fetus, is hitting the U.S. in merchandise form starting today.

This lazy egg rocks himself to sleep in his shell, curls up in a bacon blanket, takes naps on a bed of rice, and has no motivation but to lay around.
Oh good. This will help Hello Kitty fans get used to the idea of having a husband.

Naturally, being Japanese, some of the merchandise imagery is a bit odd.

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TR Interview: Animator Don Hertzfeldt, Picturing Matchstick Men and You

Friday, April 24, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Don Hertzfeldt can truly claim to be the only director working today to have had a film featuring the repeated line "MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!" nominated for an Oscar.

Now that I have your attention, Hertzfeldt deserves more of it. Said Oscar-nominee, "Rejected," was an animated short in which Hertzfeldt himself is hired to create commercials, only to go insane and have the spots get weirder and weirder until the drawing paper itself rebels and creates a vortex that destroys all the animated creations. It was of a piece with other creations like "Billy's Balloon," in which childrens' balloons start beating the crap out of their owners. Drawn in simple black and white stick figures with occasional splashes of color, they were sometimes dismissed by animation snobs for having a primitive aesthetic, but appreciated by viewers who could sense the creativity underneath.

His 2012 feature It's Such a Beautiful Day, which combined his line drawings with filmed backgrounds, and meditated on infinite time, neuroses and the future, was my favorite film of that year, so I was excited to learn he had a new animated short available to view online, and is working on a feature. Also, you might have seen his recent take on The Simpsons couch gag, which was typically unorthodox and anti-consumerist. Here is my conversation with Don Hertzfeldt.

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