The Stan Lee of schlock, director of the original, disgustingly unrated Toxic Avenger, joins the Angry Video Game Nerd to play the terrible game translations of the kiddie-cartoon spin-off, Toxic Crusaders, which was created to try to cash in on the first Ninja Turtles craze.

Though fond of promoting himself and his various products constantly, even Lloyd can't lie about the merits (or lack thereof) in this case.

Video after the jump - be forewarned that it ends in a gross-out moment worthy of Troma

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Though I was never particularly fond of the animated incarnation of He-Man, for many it was the definitive version. "Masters of the Universe" is a secondary brand-name for the denizens of Eternia in the minds of Filmation fans, who refer to all elements of the mythology as simply "He-Man."

And yet their particular version of Eternia's mightiest mortal has never really been rendered in three dimensions and that classically cheesy pageboy haircut. The original toy was designed before there was a cartoon, and the newer toys are designed as if they were the originals made with better technology. Fans wanting Filmation-styled lead characters are told some spiel about how if you put those characters through a "classicizer" machine, they'd look like the toys we have now. Bottom line: Mattel isn't making cartoon He-Man any time soon.

But Icon Heroes is. He may not be articulated, but he is in the key pose you'd most want him to be in - one that, ironically enough, none of the current articulated figures can duplicate (though one out later this year will come close).

Like the figures, this is sculpted by the Four Horsemen (with Joe Amaro) and joins Icon's other licensed products like the power sword letter opener and Grayskull business-card holder. It's 12 inches tall and a non-cringeworthy $60, coming in September.

It may not be my preferred cup of He, but to those for whom it is, you have some power...finally.

Imagine you're a scientist with the technology and wherewithal to move atoms on a sub-molecular level. The implications of this are potentially groundbreaking. What do you do next?

What any of us would: you make a cartoon out of them.

...and the Star Trek logo. Because you can.

Folks, your Impressive Act of Nerdery for the day, week, maybe even year.

Bonus "Making of" video after the jump.

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While I have no interest in helping out another emo rom-com from you-know-who, an animated sequel that resolves the cliffhanger to a Canadian horror-comedy series about a Satanic high school feels a whole lot more up my alley, even if I don't quite buy the grandiose claim that the finished product will be...

...a combination of Heavy Metal and South Park. And let's throw some Ralph Bakshi, Don Hertzfeld and Bill Plympton in there, too. With a dash of Manga for taste.

I always thought it was a documentary show. Aren't all high schools in Canada hotbeds of devil-worshiping socialism? But it does - did - have Jason Mewes with dildo-nunchuks.

This is a fixed funding campaign, so unlike some other, shadier Indiegogo projects, the filmmakers only get to keep the money if their goal is reached. If they overshoot it to the tune of a million bucks, they'll do a live-action film. Among the higher-level perks:

Jason Mewes will tweet his 250,000+ followers about how much pussy (or dick) you get.

Will Kristen Bell do that? I think not.

Pitch video after the jump, which includes a somewhat NSFW highlight reel.

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From the email I received:

The production company of the full 3D CG war-action rabbit animation 'Cat Shit One', IDA, Inc., presents a monstrous kaiju series, KAIJU GOMERA!

These unique children's mini series with cool VFX & Special Effects have been localized and broadcasted worldwide on YouTube (*Youku in China) in multiple languages. IDA is looking for opportunities in business development, production, merchandising, and more, globally. We are looking forward to your calls!

How can I resist a come-on like that?

"I wanted to produce a pure entertaining children series with the simple stories and funny characters, and hoping it has audiences spontaneous appetite to buy the character toys." (Junya Okabe, producer, writer and director, CEO of IDA, Inc.)

There's just one problem. This being Japan, can you guess what the issue might be when it comes to targeting kids?

If you guessed "Gomera has a visible nutsack and penis, and the entire climax of the first video involves him getting shot in the nads," you've been paying attention.

That video is after the jump. Aside from the sex organs, it's some of the most awkward "comedy" I've seen outside of public access TV...only it involves a computer-generated kaiju, so that's slightly original.

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Picture what you're already thinking Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be like.

Now imagine that crossed with the grossest fan fiction you can imagine involving them.

And now - only if NOBODY else is around to see your monitor - behold, if you dare, the animated "2 Girls, 1 Cup" of Ninja Turtledom, courtesy of Fox ADHD.

Never again will you claim George Lucas raped your childhood after you see what this cartoon does with heroes in a half-shell.

This happened on the actual Scooby-Doo cartoon, and features the voice talents of the original mysterious man, Michael J. Anderson. I felt like I knew it, but sometimes my arms bend back...

UPDATE: There's more...

h/t Eric Diaz

...is obiwankenobi31, whose favorite character is Raphael.

Because this was done by random number generation, there are no honorable mentions.

Thanks to all those who shared on Facebook, and to those who didn't want to, know that there will be plenty of contests not involving social media in the future. Just every once in a while, one of them will.

I'm not sure I can fully express how exponentially stupider I feel as a human being for having typed those words above. Nevertheless, they are true.

For those not native to this country, Cap'n Crunch is a breakfast cereal mascot. His arch-enemies are "the Soggies," though it appears they'll be a tad friendlier on this show.

The Cap'n -- whose full name is Cap'n Horatio Magellan Crunch, an iconic animated figure which starred in commercials during Saturday morning cartoons from the 1960s to the 1980s -- will conduct interviews with animated celebrities and fictional characters within a giant cereal bowl. He gets out of the bowl too, but only when not with guests.

I don't know if "animated celebrities" means famous cartoon characters like, say, Bart Simpson, or something along the lines of a hand-drawn William Shatner. Either way, they're sitting in a big bowl of milk for this. That's kinda stupid. The Cap'n may keep the soggies out of his cereal bits, but do you trust him to keep 'em out of your underwear?

The new online animated series called "The Cap'n Crunch Show" will feature nine episodes throughout the spring and summer on its YouTube channel. Just like other late-night shows, it will air at 11:35 p.m. ET/PT and is aimed at an adult audience.

An adult audience, you say?

The cereal box this summer will feature a call out for the show, directing consumers to YouTube.

Oh, the kids' cereal box will be directing them to a show for adults, on past their bedtime. I don't see how that could possibly lead to family arguments, at all.

You want cereal mascots who can talk to both kids and adults? Let me dig up a UK gem from my childhood...

...skinheads made out of compressed wheat flake bricks!

The trailer for the Cap'n's show is after the jump. Plus you can follow him on Twitter now.

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Or, more accurately...

Star Wars if it were directed by a clone of Don Hertzfeldt on cocaine with the Minions from Despicable Me as cast and crew. Yeah. Something like that. It's funny and stuff.

via MTV Geek