Topless Toy Chest: The R2-Unit Droid Factory at Disneyland

Wednesday, May 15, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Credit the tag-teaming of Gallen_Dugall and Someguy for coming up with the name. There were cleverer offerings, but this struck me as the one that would accidentally lead the most pervs here, and that's crucially important.

Okay, so I went to Disneyland this week, as part of a scouting trip for my upcoming honeymoon there in September. And as you know if you've ever been there, the marriage of Lucasfilm and Disney was a strong flirtation long before it was made official. Pretty sure this li'l guy I picked up, for example, was produced last year prior to the big announcement:

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I know I should probably find him appalling, but he mashes up my favorite Disney character with one of my favorite-looking Star Wars guys, so I couldn't say no.

Still, I'm not here so much to talk about him...

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Today in Weird Cartoon Movie Trailers: Equestria Girls and The Congress

Monday, May 13, 2013 at 4:45 pm

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First up, we have the controversial My Little Pony theatrical spin-off movie Equestria Girls, which looks for all intents and purposes like Hasbro wanted a piece of the Monster High pie and sandwiched in an existing property regardless of how well it does or does not fit.

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But if you think ponies becoming teenage girls is odd, how about Robin Wright playing Robin Wright, in a movie where she sells all the legal rights to herself and becomes a cartoon? It's from Ari Folman, whose last animated feature was Waltz With Bashir, a cartoon docudrama about the Israeli-Lebanon war. Weirdness, thy name is The Congress.

Both trailers after the jump. (For those who don't know, I do the "after the jump" thing so often because too many vids on the main page = slower load times)

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Mike Tyson to Solve Mysteries With a Cartoon Pigeon

Monday, May 13, 2013 at 3:15 pm

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I was honestly going to declare a moratorium on any more TV posts today. And then I found out that Mike Tyson is getting a cartoon where he solves mysteries with the aid of a talking bird.

Well, I mean, what would Jesus do? If he were a nerd blogger, I mean?

You're damn right he'd share the good news around.

In the new animated comedy series Mike Tyson Mysteries, Mike Tyson is taking the fight from the boxing ring to the streets... by solving mysteries! Armed with a magical tattoo on his face and a trusty associate by his side -- a talking pigeon -- if you have a problem that needs solving, Iron Mike is in your corner. The series incorporates live-action appearances featuring Mighty Mike himself, and the gloves come off as the former heavyweight champ and his fowl-mouthed partner gear up for weekly adventures as they put unsolved mysteries -- like how to defeat a super computer at chess or why a famous author/werewolf can't finish his novel -- down for the count.

"Fowl-mouthed." If the rest of the writing is like that, who can resist?

Naturally, it's on Adult Swim. Check out the rest of their new lineup.

An Artist's Hand Battles His Own Drawing, Street Fighter Style

Friday, May 10, 2013 at 11:30 am

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This animated short by Jonny Lawrence is cool. I know we've all seen variations on the "Duck Amuck" theme - which I would argue is itself a riff on the Book of Job - but I've never seen one with hands versus hadoukens.

What arguably makes this different from Job and Daffy is that here, I don't think we sympathize necessarily with the creation, but the creator. Certainly as a writer, I understand the notion of fighting with my creation to get it to do what I want. And by the end of the day if my hand is sore, it could be argued that I took a beating from it.

This is more literal, and funnier than what I just said. And it's called "Maker vs. Marker," which makes me think of whiskey.

Mmmm, whiskey.

Watch after the jump.

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Disney Confirms Animated Marvel Movies, Starting With...

Thursday, May 9, 2013 at 12:12 pm

...Big Hero 6.

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Big Hero what?

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Marvel's Japanese super-team, featuring The Wolverine movie villain Silver Samurai (like so many popular villains, he gets his "babyface turn") and a supporting cast with ever-so-slightly stereotypical names like Honey Lemon, GoGo Tomago and Wasabi-No-Ginger. The L.A. Times story announcing the project doesn't mention any ties to The Wolverine, but suggests the movie will focus on young robotics prodigy Hiro and his mechanical bodyguard Baymax.

It's from the director of Winnie the Pooh, which was honest-to-God a great cartoon. For the movie, the action will be set in a futuristic hybrid city called "San Fransokyo." Sounds on paper like a bit of unneeded silliness, but the proof-of-concept footage of the city looks pretty cool.

Letting animation handle concepts that are both lesser-known and potentially budget-busting if done in live-action seems like the right way to go. If Disney's future dips into the Marvel library for animation follow suit, what would you like to see next?

h/t SlyDante


Watch Every Episode of My Little Pony Simultaneously

Thursday, May 9, 2013 at 10:00 am

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From what I've seen of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, each episode in and of itself is like a sweetness-and-rainbow overload (fans: I get that you dig it for more than that, but I don't yet quite get why). This, therefore, is the tsunami of diabetic comas - every episode playing at the same time on one screen.

Cue up some Beethoven and you can just call me Alex DeLarge. Or weld it to my face on continuous loop and I might become a green-skinned Brazilian beast man, as people do in live-action Shadowloo.

Alternately, perhaps somebody already on a sugar high will be able to simultaneously follow every story. In this ADD age, I would not rule it out.

If you're up to the challenge, it's after the jump.

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Lloyd Kaufman Plays the Toxic Crusaders Nintendo and Genesis Games

Friday, May 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm

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The Stan Lee of schlock, director of the original, disgustingly unrated Toxic Avenger, joins the Angry Video Game Nerd to play the terrible game translations of the kiddie-cartoon spin-off, Toxic Crusaders, which was created to try to cash in on the first Ninja Turtles craze.

Though fond of promoting himself and his various products constantly, even Lloyd can't lie about the merits (or lack thereof) in this case.

Video after the jump - be forewarned that it ends in a gross-out moment worthy of Troma

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He-Man, Animated and Busted

Thursday, May 2, 2013 at 10:00 am

Though I was never particularly fond of the animated incarnation of He-Man, for many it was the definitive version. "Masters of the Universe" is a secondary brand-name for the denizens of Eternia in the minds of Filmation fans, who refer to all elements of the mythology as simply "He-Man."

And yet their particular version of Eternia's mightiest mortal has never really been rendered in three dimensions and that classically cheesy pageboy haircut. The original toy was designed before there was a cartoon, and the newer toys are designed as if they were the originals made with better technology. Fans wanting Filmation-styled lead characters are told some spiel about how if you put those characters through a "classicizer" machine, they'd look like the toys we have now. Bottom line: Mattel isn't making cartoon He-Man any time soon.

But Icon Heroes is. He may not be articulated, but he is in the key pose you'd most want him to be in - one that, ironically enough, none of the current articulated figures can duplicate (though one out later this year will come close).

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Like the figures, this is sculpted by the Four Horsemen (with Joe Amaro) and joins Icon's other licensed products like the power sword letter opener and Grayskull business-card holder. It's 12 inches tall and a non-cringeworthy $60, coming in September.

It may not be my preferred cup of He, but to those for whom it is, you have some power...finally.

Stop-Motion Movie, Star Trek Logo Made From Atoms

Wednesday, May 1, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Imagine you're a scientist with the technology and wherewithal to move atoms on a sub-molecular level. The implications of this are potentially groundbreaking. What do you do next?

What any of us would: you make a cartoon out of them.

...and the Star Trek logo. Because you can.

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Folks, your Impressive Act of Nerdery for the day, week, maybe even year.

Bonus "Making of" video after the jump.

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Todd and the Book of Pure Evil Seeks Crowdsourced Funds for Animated Movie

Wednesday, May 1, 2013 at 11:30 am

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While I have no interest in helping out another emo rom-com from you-know-who, an animated sequel that resolves the cliffhanger to a Canadian horror-comedy series about a Satanic high school feels a whole lot more up my alley, even if I don't quite buy the grandiose claim that the finished product will be...

...a combination of Heavy Metal and South Park. And let's throw some Ralph Bakshi, Don Hertzfeld and Bill Plympton in there, too. With a dash of Manga for taste.

I always thought it was a documentary show. Aren't all high schools in Canada hotbeds of devil-worshiping socialism? But it does - did - have Jason Mewes with dildo-nunchuks.

This is a fixed funding campaign, so unlike some other, shadier Indiegogo projects, the filmmakers only get to keep the money if their goal is reached. If they overshoot it to the tune of a million bucks, they'll do a live-action film. Among the higher-level perks:

Jason Mewes will tweet his 250,000+ followers about how much pussy (or dick) you get.

Will Kristen Bell do that? I think not.

Pitch video after the jump, which includes a somewhat NSFW highlight reel.

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