I assume he's half-kidding, because of all the blockbusters he mentions, none needed an ending rewrite as badly as Ang Lee's Hulk, the Roger Corman Fantastic Four, the David Hasselhoff Nick Fury (SPOILER: he quits smoking!) or the Matt Salinger Captain America, all of which Lee obligingly shilled for at the time as the perfect versions of their respective lead characters.
But what the hell - dude's a snake-oil salesman sometimes, but he's still funny when he spins a yarn. So here he is with some animated embellishment.
Over the last few decades, Scooby-Doo and the gang have been at the forefront of the war on "Monster who is really a Masked Man" crime. While the members of Mystery Inc. have changed slightly over the years, with the temporary addition of members such as the intolerable Scrappy-Doo and juvenile delinquent Flim-Flam, the gang of Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby have been a pillar of cartoon crime fighting.
In their travels, the Mystery Inc. gang has encountered a myriad of fiendish, money hungry, overly dramatic thieves. Of course, they've made quite the long list of friends who've helped them along the way, many of whom were major stars of their day. Unfortunately, for every appearance of a relevant guest star - such as Batman and Robin teaming up with the gang to stop an elaborate collaboration between the Joker, Penguin, and some old counterfeiting Grandmother - you also have a visit by one of the celebrities listed below, whose fame has landed them on "The Doo List".
10. Simple Plan
When producers wanted to get a high profile musical artist to guest star on the new series What's New, Scooby-Doo?, they searched high and low for a popular band that fits in with the show's slightly quirky nature. When that failed, someone who I can only assume was a cousin to one of the band members, decided to cast French-Canadian rockers Simple Plan. (Actually, Simple Plan performed the theme to the TV series)
It's not that Simple Plan is a bad band. It's just, for a show being marketed to children one would think that any musical guest would be someone whom kids might actually know. Had ghosts attempted to kidnap Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga, I could understand the appeal to children. But when poltergeists decide they want to haunt a musical tour bus, they settle on the one owned by Simple Plan, whose drumsticks begin to magically begin drumming all over the seats of the bus. When the band just happens to get into an accident with the Mystery Machine, they, along with Mystery Inc., are forced into overnight cohabitation in a nearby ghost town. The Invisible Madman of course follows, and band and gang team up to discover Zeke Zillion and his band are behind the mayhem, hoping to take the place of Simple Plan at an upcoming concert. Of course, the gang takes down this Zillion and his band of musical miscreants, and Simple Plan goes on stage as planned.
It's funny how sometimes, two posts in a row can have a similar theme when you totally didn't intend it, like yesterday's zombie double-blog. I try not to do that unless both items seem like the most appropriate items on my slate at the time. And frankly, how could I NOT post an extra Wreck-It Ralph scene. We did all like the movie, right?
As you can see from the image, this isn't finished animation, but it does have full audio. It features Ralph and a Matthew McConaughey-type surfer dude in a jail cell (but not, seemingly, the Sugar Rush jail), with the latter trying to sell Ralph on the idea of a Sims-type game (see! The common thread) in which there are no good guys or bad guys.
It feels like a holdover from a much longer draft of the script, and isn't quite as sharp with the humor as the film's best moments. So there was a reason it was deleted, but no reason you shouldn't enjoy it now.
Hit the jump to do so.More >>
We all know Black Dynamite as a Michael Jai White cartoon [edit: somewhat based on a live-action blaxploitation tribute movie; thanks tobenalexander!]. But now he's been reconceived as a Japanese-speaking, life-size Mego doll who fights Rowdy Roddy Piper.
It doesn't make much sense - and yet, in a way, it makes perfect sense. Watch the video after the jump...More >>
The new issue of Mad comes out February 19th, and it's one after our own hearts...
Are you wondering what 50 things could possibly have made that list? You don't have to wait two more weeks to attain all that knowledge, because after the jump, we've got reason #29, courtesy of artist Anton Emdin.More >>
See, Zack Snyder? It's not so hard. I wouldn't worry about yours if I'd seen something like this already. I admit I could do without Supes stealing one of Will Smith's one-liners, but John Noble's a great Brainiac, and Matt Bomer was an early contender for Bryan Singer's Superman Lives back when he was a total unknown, so it's cool that he gets a do-over.
It also reminds me that Kandor was the original city Under the Dome.
Ralph Bakshi's a fascinating figure to me, as much for what he hasn't managed to do as what he has. He got a Lord of the Rings animated movie off the ground, then never was able to finish the story. He made an X-rated cartoon out of Fritz the Cat, but did so in a way that R. Crumb hated. He promoted radical left-wing politics in movies that nonetheless featured racial caricatures so grotesque that one could be forgiven for missing the subtext due to off-putting imagery. Never really having the budget to pull off many of his ideas, he developed rotoscoping techniques to save money. In the truest ways, his cartoons are punk rock - they may be ugly, but they're brutally honest and out there.
I had the chance to interview him last year, and he seemed burned out on animation altogether, wanting to focus on painting. Sony had rejected a screenplay of his entitled Last Days of Coney Island, and when I suggested he make it independently with all the technological tools now available to an animator, he responded, "For me to go back to battle at 73 would be physically hard and mentally too tough."
But it seems that something lit a fire under him again.More >>
The success of the Avengers movie brought so much good into the nerd world. We had the promise of much riskier movies being put into production like Dr. Strange and Guardians of the Galaxy. There was a Lego Quinjet and a great Hulk minifig. Joss Whedon was working on an uncancelable S.H.I.E.L.D. show. Also some dumb video game, BUT overall the nerd world looked a lot better post-Avengers. There just was one problem.
At the same time as The Avengers movie came out, Marvel also had an Avengers cartoon called Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. And even though it was also about the Avengers, it seemed to be following a different narrative. The characters had different back stories. It took more of its mythology from the comic books than from the movies. And thus, it had to die. Sometime in 2013, Avengers Assemble will take its place and it may be just as good. Who knows? Maybe it will be better. I don't remember anyone thinking EMH would be the next great nerd cartoon, but it sure was. The stories moved quickly and the characters were serious when seriousness was required, but always also quick with a joke. Out of respect for its untimely demise, let us now take a look back at the fantastic writing of Avengers: EMH and specifically its excellent comebacks.
7. Thor Thinks at Absorbing Man.
So in episode thirteen of season one, entitled Gamma World Part 2, the Mighty Thor seemed to be at the mercy of the Uru powered (and horribly named) Absorbing Man. AM had absorbed Thor's Mighty Mjolnir giving him possession of all the powers of Thor and he even made his fists into little hammers. "Fight back!" Absorbing Man yelled in between seemingly beating Thor to death. But Thor did not fight back. Thor calmly retorted "I cannot, for I am concentrating."
It happens just like you expect. Thor controls the Uru Absorbing Man and throws him right back at The Leader and The Leader is very surprised because he didn't realize Thor controlled the hammer mentally. He probably just assumed Mjolnir, like Cap's shield, was the world's most physically inconsistent boomerang. While fans of Thor saw this one coming from a mile away, the specific line was both badass and clever given the present situation. It gracefully illustrated the duality of the way EMH wrote Thor. He is an uber-badass who speaks in girly Shakespearean language, but EMH always managed to make Thor sound great.
This isn't the first time Thor and AM have fought in a cartoon. In the now ancient Mighty Thor cartoon, Absorbey tried to do the same exact thing but in that instance, Thor just pulled the hammer back explaining "It must always return to me. It is pre ordained." The EMH line is streets ahead of that nonsense.
P.S. The old cartoon gets even dumber because Absorbing Man then neutralizes the hammer by throwing it into some bricks and Thor doesn't pull it back that time because...you know...bricks?More >>
MTV Geek has an advance look at the new Ninja Turtles toys, including Classics Bebop and Rocksteady, updates of characters like Leatherhead and Rat King, and something that I'm sure will be the bane of parents with carpets everywhere - Ooze-flinging vehicles!
It's nice to see at least one line keeping the flame alive for ginormous playsets.
And in other Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles news, Roseanne Barr will play Krang Prime. Who says she doesn't have brains?