The First Disney/Marvel Cartoon Mash-Up Is Ferb-ier Than I Had Anticipated

Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm
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Jeph Loeb knows what the fans want. They want Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes taken off the air and replaced with something not quite to epic or faithful; they want their Spider-Man cartoon to have no consequences or danger, but constant overblown-anime-style mug shots; and most of all, they want Phineas and Ferb. Which is why the first real Disney/Marvel crossover since Disney bought Marvel will be when Spidey, Iron Man, Thor and Hulk get beamed into the Phineas and Ferb cartoon, along with Red Skull, Whiplash, Venom and MODOK.

Look, I'm not really complaining about a Marvel/Phineas and Ferb crossover. Kids love P&F, and I've had many adults tell me it's both nerdy and clever. That's fine. Even if it were solely for kids, I'd understand -- Marvel already has older fans with the comics, and they need to get kids interested. Hell, I know they're doing Ultimate Spider-Man for the same reason, and while I personally don't like the show, it seems to be working. They need to reach kids, and this is all a smart way to go about it. I'm just pissed that Marvel finally had its equivalent of the DC Animated Universe in Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and they're canceling it. You could have worked on EMH, Loeb. Given it a bigger budget, better animation. Promoted it better (or, indeed, at all). You could have grown it into an animated series that would have rivaled everything Bruce Timm did with DC. Maybe this new Avengers series will wrap in the kids, like your other cartoons. But you could have had greatness, Loeb. You had the beginning of it, just for a little while, and then you killed it.


...okay, so I'm a little bitter. Thanks to Evil Monlkey Pope for the P&F tip. (Via Wired)

Cartoon Preview Trifecta: Clone Wars, Green Lantern, Ultimate Spider-Man

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 at 9:52 am

• Just getting those last bits of SDCC news up. Here's a Clone Wars season 5 clip, where Obi-Wan hangs out with some Mandalorian-looking folks and fights some other Mandalorian-looking folks. Seems pretty cool. (Via ToysREvil)

• The Anti-Monitor raising the Manhunters, the first appearance of Guy Gardner, and Ch'p -- fucking Ch'p -- handing Hal Jordan his ass? I officially need to start watching the Green Lantern cartoon. Thanks to Vbanej for the tip.

• Well-played, Ultimate Spider-Man. Well-played indeed. Apparently there's a whole episode where Loki turns Spidey into the Spectacular Spider-Ham. I think that's enough for me to give that one episode a shot. Maybe. Probably not. But well-played anyways. (Via Comics Alliance)

SDCC Misc. Trifecta: Man of Steel, Legend of Korra, Hellboy 3

Monday, July 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm
• As evidenced by this new Man of Steel poster, Superman's outfit will be made out of repurposed car seat material. Not like from a luxury car, but like the seats from a basic model Kia or Hyundai. For some reason.

io9 has a great gallery of character designs from Legend of Korra's season 2, including a lot of Korra's extended Water tribe family.

• Guillermo del Toro and Ron Perlman are officially trying to make Hellboy 3. Honestly, I'm not the biggest fan of del Toro's movies, but after this, I'm going to buy two tickets just to show my support for Perlman. (Via Blastr)

SDCC: The Adventure Time Videogame Makes Me Sad I Hate the 3DS

Monday, July 16, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Note: I don't really hate the 3DS. I hate handheld gaming, just like I hate PC gaming (I need my videogames to be accessible from a couch, but also visible on a large TV screen [Note: I don't like playing games on my iPhone either, except in times of purest necessity]). But the Adventure Time videogame, wonderfully subtitled Hey Ice King! Why's You Steal Our Garbage?, looks so fantastic I'm actually a bit sad I don't have the capacity to handle holding a 3DS. It's due in October; maybe I should use that time to talk to a psychoanalyst or something. Not about the 3DS, I just have a lot of mental problems. (Via Kotaku)

SDCC: Catwoman Is in Big Trouble in Not-So-Little 1930s China

Sunday, July 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Just to remind folks that while DC's movie division might be run by a bowl of Jell-O, the cartoon division is still great, which they proved by premiering this upcoming DC Nation clip of Catwoman -- a Catwoman, at least -- running around in 1930s Shanghai. It's bizarre, but it's beautiful, and it's pretty damn cool. Which is probably small consolation when Marvel has five or more major motion pictures coming out over the next three years, but it's better than nothing. Barely. (Via io9)

SDCC: The New TMNT Cartoon Is Goofy as @#$% (Although That's Not the Worst Thing Ever)

Saturday, July 14, 2012 at 2:12 pm

It looks like Nickelodeon's upcoming CG Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon is going down that Teen Titans/Ultimate Spider-Man path of extreme wackiness, exaggerated facial expressions, and just general goofiness. However, unlike Ultimate Spider-Man, I'm fine with this for several reasons: 1) We just had a long-running, more serious take on the Turtles. 2) The Turtles -- being, you know, teenage mutant ninja turtles -- are more conducive to wackiness than Spider-Man, who needs a modicum of genuine drama to work most effectively as a character. 3) As this clip shows, the show does appear to have the capacity to get serious and show some solid action when it wants to, which, again, is something Teen Titans did very effectively, Ultimate Spider-Man has not managed to do. So I'm fine with this. Look, I just can't look at an anthropomorphic turtle wielding ninja weapons and say, "They're not taking this seriously enough!" I just can't. A man with spider-powers dressed like a stuntman from the '70s had sex with a luchadore? THAT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS, MY FRIENDS.

Anyways, I'm less fine with the new theme song, because it is pretty much the '80s theme song with some of that rap the kids love nowadays over it. Oh, those kids, with their rap music and baggy pants and eye-pods and whatnot... sigh. Anyways, I'm sure kids will love it, so I'll just sit back on my porch and wait for some children to wander onto my lawn so I can yell at them to get the fuck off it.

Thank You for Being a Superfriend

Monday, July 9, 2012 at 5:00 pm

There's a lot of pre-SDCC announcements and news and things, but at the moment there is absolutely nothing more important than this video of the Golden Girls opening credits with elderly DC superheroes drawn over the actresses. It's the best. For the record, Batman is Dorthy/Bea Arthur, Aquaman as Rose/Betty White, Superman as Blance/Rue McClanahan and Robin as Sophia/Estelle Getty, and the characters are completely consistent throughout the video. DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS. (Via Gorilla Mask)

The Best Scene in Prometheus Just Got Better

Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I'm on record as really enjoying the surgery machine scene in Prometheus, because while it didn't make a lot of sense, it was incredibly well-shot and visceral, both physically and emotionally. However, that's not to say this animation isn't a shockingly accurate representation of the scene as it happened in Prometheus. Actually, in some ways it's even better, and by "some ways" I mean "hideous sprays of blood." Much thanks to Myron S. for the tip.

This Fan-Made Bizarro Cartoon Am No Good at All

Tuesday, July 3, 2012 at 9:03 am

By which, of course, I mean it's totally awesome. It's animator Robb Pratt's beautiful follow-up to his outstanding hand-drawn Superman cartoon from last year (which you can and should watch here), this time involving the Man of Steel's dysfunctional doppleganger. I know I give DC a lot of shit here, but they could make up far a great many bad decisions by cutting this dude a checks and just letting him make more of these. Thanks to Myron S. for the tip!

Fan Fiction Friday: Shredder and April O'Neil in "Lady Shredder"

Friday, June 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm
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Full disclosure time: I originally selected this story by Night Creeper in hopes that Shredder had a plan to defeat the Turtles that somehow necessitated him becoming a post-op transexual. Alas, this is not so. However, it is a fun little story, and of course by fun I mean horrendously dumb. 

"Hello turtles! I know you're watching!" Shredder spoke as he appeared on every televison set in the city. The evil ninja has used the mighty Technodrome's communications room to takeover every TV signal in the city. He wanted to be sure that the turtles saw him.

"You guys! Shred-head is on the tube!" Raphael spoke as he called for his brothers.

"Is he selling anything?" Michelangelo laughed as he entered the room with Leonardo, Donatello, and Master Splinter behind him.

"No. I think he's going to make some boring speech again," Raphael replied sarcastically.

Raphael is cool but rude, and has no idea how sarcasm works.

"Hold on you guys! Do you see what I see?" Donatello exclaimed.

"Holy crap!" all four turtles shouted as they saw April O'Neil in her yellow form-fitting jumpsuit, standing in front of a gloating Shredder. Although, the turtles couldn't see the bonds, the woman's hands were tied behind her back. The woman was unable to speak as she had a yellow ball-gag in her mouth. It was obvious to the turtles that she was exhausted and wasn't putting up too much of fuss as she stood in front of Shredder.

Please note: This story isn't particularly wretched by FFF standards, although it keep things non-consensual, for the most part. So there's no need to point it out in the comments (I haven't seen a truly horrible story recently that's inspired my horribly bedraggled, Stockholm syndrome-experiencing muse. As always, tips are appreciated). 

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