• Just getting those last bits of SDCC news up. Here's a Clone Wars season 5 clip, where Obi-Wan hangs out with some Mandalorian-looking folks and fights some other Mandalorian-looking folks. Seems pretty cool. (Via ToysREvil)
Note: I don't really hate the 3DS. I hate handheld gaming, just like I hate PC gaming (I need my videogames to be accessible from a couch, but also visible on a large TV screen [Note: I don't like playing games on my iPhone either, except in times of purest necessity]). But the Adventure Time videogame, wonderfully subtitled Hey Ice King! Why's You Steal Our Garbage?, looks so fantastic I'm actually a bit sad I don't have the capacity to handle holding a 3DS. It's due in October; maybe I should use that time to talk to a psychoanalyst or something. Not about the 3DS, I just have a lot of mental problems. (Via Kotaku)
Just to remind folks that while DC's movie division might be run by a bowl of Jell-O, the cartoon division is still great, which they proved by premiering this upcoming DC Nation clip of Catwoman -- a Catwoman, at least -- running around in 1930s Shanghai. It's bizarre, but it's beautiful, and it's pretty damn cool. Which is probably small consolation when Marvel has five or more major motion pictures coming out over the next three years, but it's better than nothing. Barely. (Via io9)
It looks like Nickelodeon's upcoming CG Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon is going down that Teen Titans/Ultimate Spider-Man path of extreme wackiness, exaggerated facial expressions, and just general goofiness. However, unlike Ultimate Spider-Man, I'm fine with this for several reasons: 1) We just had a long-running, more serious take on the Turtles. 2) The Turtles -- being, you know, teenage mutant ninja turtles -- are more conducive to wackiness than Spider-Man, who needs a modicum of genuine drama to work most effectively as a character. 3) As this clip shows, the show does appear to have the capacity to get serious and show some solid action when it wants to, which, again, is something Teen Titans did very effectively, Ultimate Spider-Man has not managed to do. So I'm fine with this. Look, I just can't look at an anthropomorphic turtle wielding ninja weapons and say, "They're not taking this seriously enough!" I just can't. A man with spider-powers dressed like a stuntman from the '70s had sex with a luchadore? THAT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS, MY FRIENDS.
There's a lot of pre-SDCC announcements and news and things, but at the moment there is absolutely nothing more important than this video of the Golden Girls opening credits with elderly DC superheroes drawn over the actresses. It's the best. For the record, Batman is Dorthy/Bea Arthur, Aquaman as Rose/Betty White, Superman as Blance/Rue McClanahan and Robin as Sophia/Estelle Getty, and the characters are completely consistent throughout the video. DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS. (Via Gorilla Mask)
I'm on record as really enjoying the surgery machine scene in Prometheus, because while it didn't make a lot of sense, it was incredibly well-shot and visceral, both physically and emotionally. However, that's not to say this animation isn't a shockingly accurate representation of the scene as it happened in Prometheus. Actually, in some ways it's even better, and by "some ways" I mean "hideous sprays of blood." Much thanks to Myron S. for the tip.
By which, of course, I mean it's totally awesome. It's animator Robb Pratt's beautiful follow-up to his outstanding hand-drawn Superman cartoon from last year (which you can and should watch here), this time involving the Man of Steel's dysfunctional doppleganger. I know I give DC a lot of shit here, but they could make up far a great many bad decisions by cutting this dude a checks and just letting him make more of these. Thanks to Myron S. for the tip!
Full disclosure time: I originally selected this story by Night Creeper in hopes that Shredder had a plan to defeat the Turtles that somehow necessitated him becoming a post-op transexual. Alas, this is not so. However, it is a fun little story, and of course by fun I mean horrendously dumb.
"Hello turtles! I know you're watching!" Shredder spoke as he appeared on every televison set in the city. The evil ninja has used the mighty Technodrome's communications room to takeover every TV signal in the city. He wanted to be sure that the turtles saw him.
"You guys! Shred-head is on the tube!" Raphael spoke as he called for his brothers.
"Is he selling anything?" Michelangelo laughed as he entered the room with Leonardo, Donatello, and Master Splinter behind him.
"No. I think he's going to make some boring speech again," Raphael replied sarcastically.
Raphael is cool but rude, and has no idea how sarcasm works.
"Hold on you guys! Do you see what I see?" Donatello exclaimed.
"Holy crap!" all four turtles shouted as they saw April O'Neil in her yellow form-fitting jumpsuit, standing in front of a gloating Shredder. Although, the turtles couldn't see the bonds, the woman's hands were tied behind her back. The woman was unable to speak as she had a yellow ball-gag in her mouth. It was obvious to the turtles that she was exhausted and wasn't putting up too much of fuss as she stood in front of Shredder.
Please note: This story isn't particularly wretched by FFF standards, although it keep things non-consensual, for the most part. So there's no need to point it out in the comments (I haven't seen a truly horrible story recently that's inspired my horribly bedraggled, Stockholm syndrome-experiencing muse. As always, tips are appreciated).More >>