I don't know how many of you actually remember the 1995 animated movie Balto, ostensibly a true story about a dog that helped save an Alaska town from a diphtheria outbreak in 1925. You don't really need to know anything about Balto in order to be truly horrified by this tale from author countrydog20101 (and sent in by Nick P.), other than it's exactly what you think a 1995 animated movie about a heroic dog would be, and also that Kevin Bacon voiced Balto. Shall we?
It has been several months after balto saved the town of Nome from the diphtheria crisis. With Jenna pregnant, he was left without any sex from her for the next 9 weeks. he knew he wouldn't be getting any from her anytime soon, so he decided to another way to satisfy his sexual urges. He was still very horny, and longed to shove his big long dogmeat into someone.
He decided to take a walk into town, as he tried to shrug of the ugre to plow himself into the first bitch he saw. He walking along when suddenly, he tripped over something, falling face first into the cold, wet snow . He turned to see that it was book buried under the white and substance. He was to pick it up, but as he did, as dark aura surround the strange book. There was a quick and instantaneous flash of light, that obstructed his vision momentarily. When he was able to see again, he saw a beautiful panther demon. She layed there in the snow, bound in chains, and vulnerable.
Oh lord. Has there ever been a decent story which included the phrase "beautiful panther demon"? I submit to you there has not. Unfortunately, the "beautiful panther demon" doesn't crack the top five problems of this story, as you'll see if you're fool enough to hit the jump.More >>
Surely most of us remember the awesome opening to the incredibly non-awesome Mega Man cartoon. It was an amazing piece of animation -- and a bitter lie to anyone who made the mistake of the watching the Mega Man cartoon proper, which looked like it was animated by one-armed drunks in some kind of Thai prison. Well, now the opening is even more awesome, as someone decided to recreate it in true 8-bit fashion. The results are fantastic... if a little depressing. Because seriously, if one of the dudes working on the Mega Man cartoon had just decided to film himself playing the NES games, the show would have been so much better. Thanks to SlyDante for the tip. (Via Destructoid)
Once upon a time, Star Wars: A New Hope was done as a radio play starring Mark Hamill. It was pretty good. It wasn't as good as this, as a video of famed voice actors Billy West, Tara Strong, Maurice LaMarche, John DiMaggio, Kevin Conroy, Jess Harnell and Rob Paulsen redoing the goddamn movie as their most famous characters. You're going to think that Kevin fucking Conroy narrating the movie will be the best, but then Bubbles starts in as Darth Vader and then Jake from Adventure Time is Princess Leia, and OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAMN THING EVER INFINITE THINGS TO THE CHU FOR THE TIP
Remember that time when Duke, Scarlett and Snake Eyes accidentally wandered into the middle of a battle between the Autobots and the Destructicons? And then the Dinobots stopped by? No? Well, that's probably because you haven't seen this new video from Dr. Smoov yet, which chronicles this very thing. It's not exactly ILM level, but then the models and animation was all done by one dude. Meanwhile, I couldn't even photoshop all these characters into a single image, so I'm totally impressed.
12:30 a.m. - Deadman Wonderland
1:00 a.m. - Casshern Sins
1:30 a.m. - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
2:00 a.m. - Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG
2:30 a.m. - Cowboy Bebop
All right, admittedly, this short cart0on by Junaid Chundrigar doesn't represent any part of any actual Marvel continuity -- it just shows the Marvel hereos at their most hapless instead of heroic. That said, I have decided on my own that this cartoon now represents the official future of the Marvel-616 universe. When the earth dies, it will be because a pudgy, listless Galactus floated by, and Earth orbited directly into his gaping maw. Hey, it makes more sense than Earth-X. (Via The Mary Sue)