The Space Stallions Are Not Horsing Around

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Against all odds, this is not a My Little Pony video, I swear. This is an extended homage to the insane vaguely animal-themed sci-fi cartoons of the '80s, and back before I knew I was posting those awesome new TMNT toys or the G.I. Joe: Retaliation commercial, I fully expected it to be the greatest thing I posted today. Suffice to say, it's still pretty great -- and certainly it's the only thing you'll see today which features a magic sword turning into a keytar. Infinite thanks to Geoff S. and Tom J. for the tip.

It Is a Good Day to Be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (Or at Least a Fan of Them)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Oh, TMNT fans, so I have some good news for you. Playmates Toys just revealed a shit-ton of new Teenage Mutant Turtle Toys, and strangely, they're all really fucking awesome. Of are the four figures for the upcoming TMNT cartoon airing on Nickelodeon, and I'm shocked to see how badass they all look. I'm even more shocked to learn that the sizing on the pic is actually accurate -- the Turtles are actually all different heights with unique toy molds, which blows my mind. But that's not all!
Playmates is also doing a TMNT Classics line, which is pretty much super-posable versions of the original figures from the '80s cartoon. These guys may have pupils, but they aren't totally cartoon-y -- look how ready Michaelangelo is to kick some ass.

Now, MTV Geek has more pics of the new cartoon line, which includes a motorcycle, a van (called the Shellraiser, awesomely), an enormous skateboard for Michaelangelo, some role-play stuff, and some FX figures which are merely okay. But here's the cherry on this turtle-flavored sundae of greatness:
The Secret Sewer Lair. I'd be excited for this thing no matter what, because there are too few playsets out nowadays, but holy shit this thing is amazing. It's huge! It's got four levels! There's a shit-ton of features! And if you look closely, you can see the upcoming April, Shredder and Splinter figures (MTV says Kang's in there too, but unless he's the blue dude, I don't see him). If you have any interest in TMNT, you definitely want to check out the rest of the pics here.

The Justice League Never Forgets to Flush

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 3:03 pm

CBR put out this new clip from Justice League: Doom, the next DC animated cartoon straight-to-DVD movie (with Kevin Conroy as Batman and Tim Daly as Superman, no less), which features Batman fighting the Royal Flush Gang and is looking pretty keen. The Gang seems to be certain that Batman wouldn't fight them alone, which seems pretty presumptuous to me. They're hardly the Injustice League or anything. Batman went to fight fucking Darkseid alone in Final Crisis; I seriously don't think he gets up in the morning and worries about whether he's going to have to take one the entire Royal Flush Gang by his lonesome. Sure, Batman probably doesn't mind having the rest of the Justice League pop up to help, but I feel reasonably certain Bats could have handled the situation if they didn't.

Fan Fiction Friday: My Little Ponies in "Mare's Milk"

Friday, January 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm
You know what I like about Bronys? It's that while they enjoy a cartoon primarily targeted to young girls, they aren't necessarily perverts. They simply enjoy the show, realize there's something inherently ridiculous about grown men enjoying a girl's cartoon, and have turned it into its own little thing. While obviously there are more than a few people who enjoy taking MLP to its most perverse levels, I seldom see those people identify themselves as "Bronys. I haven't taken a very close look, of course, as I have enough problems. Anyways, I just appreciate that, for the part, the Brony movement is seemingly benign.

Today's story comes to us from a MLP fan whose love is by no means benign, by the name of Hotsauce. He has a small collection of stories at the My Little Pony Explicit Fan Fiction Archive (sigh), and I've had several people beg me to run oen of his tales on FFF, mostly because I'm under the impression the author cannot take any form of criticism at all. So be it!

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Really, DC Nation? Really?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

DC Nation is the upcoming programming block on Cartoon Network which will run the CG Green Lantern series, Young Justice, and assorted live-action shorts and clips from DC's comics library and Mad Magazine and all sorts of things. This is one of those clips -- a segment done by Wallace & Gromit claymators Aardman, who are doing a Batman and Robin and Catwoman and Superman and suspiciously Krusty-like Joker in the vein of their old Creature Comforts clips. (i.e., small kids say shit, which gets put in the mouths of claymated animals, or in this case, superheroes). While it might be easy to raise an eyebrow at why DC is running a short based on 1989 British claymation series that has almost no recognition in America, I'm more baffled at how the DC Nation title is still using the old DC logo in it. Seriously? Is that not going to change? Has no one at DC let people at Cartoon Network know that they're rebranding the entire company? Shouldn't a memo have been sent around or something?

Look, I'm sure some of you guys think that I'm just being bitchy, and that CN probably made these a while ago and haven't had a chance to make new promos with the new logo. But that's still exactly what I think is insane. DC and Cartoon Network work for the same company. There's nothing stopping these two companies from working together -- working ahead of time -- to ensure shit like this doesn't happen. And DC, if they had any sense whatsoever, would have gone out of their way to make sure their new logo was used everywhere from day 1 -- especially on DC Nation, their highest profile opportunity to get kids interested in reading comics. Although I supposed expecting a company that 1) relaunched all its comics, 2) gave itself a new logo, and 3) began an all-new programming block of its content on Cartoon Network yet timed none of them together to have that much foresight is ridiculous. (Via Spinoff)

Fisto, Master of the Universe and Inappropriate Sexual Conduct

Monday, January 23, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Way before grinning, tentacle-headed Star Wars Jedi knight Kit Fisto, there was Fisto, the hilariously named "Heroic master of hand-to-hand combat" from Masters of the Universe. Alas, it appears we can add "Less-than-heroic master of exposing himself in front of a minor" to his resumé, thanks to this re-edited episode of He-Man. I'd feel bad for him, but honestly, the He-Man cartoon really didn't go out of its way to not seem immensely perverted, so I can't really begrudge people who make these types of things. Besides, if you don't want to have videos made of you implying you're a pervert, then step one you shouldn't go around calling yourself "Fisto." (Via Guyism)

Behold and Beware: It's Cupcakes, the Animated Story

Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm

So. You guys remember that My Little Pony fan fic titled "Cupcakes" that a variety of people keep trying to get me to run in FFF? Well, if you have been desperately wanting to learn more about "Cupcakes" but didn't want to do so in a non-TR environment, I have good news -- the story has been re-imagined as this animated music video. It may miss a few of the details, but it certainly gets the overall conceit correct. To everyone else -- holy shit some lunatic animated a version of "Cupcakes," and may god have mercy on all our souls. Warning: Since this is animated and contains no nudity, this video is technically safe for work. It might, however, contain the tiniest amount of graphic violence, and when I say "the tiniest amount" I mean it makes the Saw movies look like... well, an actual episode of My Little Pony.

All of you who sent this in to me should be ashamed of yourselves. The only silver lining here is that it's still less disturbing than that fucking E.T. figure.

My Little GlaDOS: Friendship, Like the Cake, Is a Lie

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm

My apologies if you've seen this elsewhere, but I needed to make sure everyone had their chance: This is Ellen McLain, voice of that lovable GlaDOS in Portal, at a con somewhere reading a letter to Princess Celestia of the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic cartoon, written by some fan. It's so fucking nerdy my brain started leaking out my ears... but in a good way. Please note the computerized effect has been added by another fan later; the original video of McClain speaking is here. Although if you'd prefer to not shatter the illusion that someone can actually talk like GlaDOS in real life, I totally understand. (Via The Mary Sue)

Oh Hai Korra and Your Accompanying Legend

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 11:22 am

Three new scenes from the eagerly awaited Avatar: The Last Airbender sequel Legend of Korra snuck out over the weekend, and hopefully me posting them will be enough for you to forgive me for getting duped by those fan-made Hobbit Legos (the site was in French! I can't read French! I'm American, we're not built to handle two languages at once!). I'd say there's a spoiler in this clip, but since it's almost certainly from the first episode, I wouldn't worry too much about it; suffice to say Korra is an incredible badass. The other two clips are after the jump. Thanks to everybody who sent these in!
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By the Sexiness of Grayskull

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 9:04 am

I personally find the music of LMFAO to be about as enjoyable as a savage beating, but as it turns out, adding a bit of classic Masters of the Universe animation turns it from awful to awesome. It's no Prince Adam singing "What's Goin' On", but really, what is? (Via Gorilla Mask)