Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Mexican Sushi

Thursday, April 23, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Well, hi everyone...I'm back. Yep, mom and I took a little trip south of the border to Mexico again. It was for my 59th birthday. Her 90th is at the end of May so it was sort of a combo deal.

We went to our normal stop - the Melia in Puerto Vallarta. It is a great location, only a few minutes from the airport in the Marina district. From our balcony we could watch all of the ships going in and out of port.

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New Comic Book Day: I Find My Surplus Of Faith...Refreshing.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Image Comics
I have never been more excited for Star Wars in my life. And I'm the idiot who stood up and cheered in the theater when Yoda pulled out his lightsaber in Episode II (my friend after that happened: "We go to the movies to make fun of that guy. I never thought I'd be there with him").

This has to have been the best Star Wars Celebration ever, right? We got an INSANE trailer for Episode 7; the trailer for my personal PS4 killer app in Battlefront; a teaser for Rogue One; a preview of season 2 of the amazing Rebels; an announcement that Greg Rucka and Marco Checchetto are reteaming to tell the in-canon lead up to The Force Awakens at Marvel; and a lot of reassuring noises from the cast and crew that they're doing their best, which is all I really want. I don't need to edit the script or anything. I just want to know that the folks working on it are going to pour their heart and soul into it, and that they're going to tell an actual story and not pile nostalgia on top of nostalgia with a chewy but insignificant real story core like they did in Star Trek 2-2: The Wrath of Khan 2.

No Star Wars comics in the reviews this week, but our first comic is a little bit like it. Only a little bit, though. Like, just the tip of Star Wars.


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Panic and Self-Flagellation at Star Wars Celebration

Tuesday, April 21, 2015 at 6:30 am

A First-Person Tale of Lines, Lost Cars, Lines, Ian McDiarmid, Lines, Fanboy Crowds, French Fries, Lines, Star Wars and More Lines.

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I started to curse myself right around the time I realized I had no idea where my car was. Yes, I roughly remembered where I came in that morning to Angel stadium, having been detoured way the hell out there by all the lot-crowding anywhere near the actual convention. But since I had arrived, it was like they'd switched things around, and the elderly parking attendants couldn't agree on where I would have been most likely to get directed at 9:30 a.m.

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: The Addams Family Cacti

Thursday, April 16, 2015 at 6:30 am

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[Note: Martha Boyd is on vacation this week. Last week's questions - and this week's - will be answered in the next column]

Hey de ho all. Another week has come and gone. God. they go fast when you get old. This week you all get a couple of pics of Miss LoveBug. Caught her being oh so comfortable in the chair at my husband's desk. The kids spend a good part of the day in the office when I am also in the office. At night we all move to the living room to watch TV.

It is me and my five little shadows.

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New Comic Book Day: Free Oni Comics for National Library Week

Wednesday, April 15, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Oni Press
Happy National Library Week! You guys remember the Valiant giveaway back in January, when we talked about how important libraries are in spreading the comics addiction? Our libraries are incredibly valuable cultural institutions, and like every government service classified as "nonessential," they have to struggle every year: some, to find money for new books, others just to scrape together the money to stay open. Donations, even books that they don't decide to lend out, help bridge that funding gap. So in honor of National Library Week, Oni has graciously agreed to partner with us to try and make our libraries a little bit better. Hit the jump to find out how we're going to help.

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I Just Watched All 16 Episodes of the New Inspector Gadget (So You Don't Have To)

Friday, April 10, 2015 at 5:00 am

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From LYT: "MAD has teamed up with Netflix to release an updated, CGI-based Inspector Gadget series. Your mission is to binge watch the series, meticulously documenting your thoughts about the series in order to prevent millions of Topless Robot readers from having their brains melted from what is likely a corporate cash grab banking on the childhood memories of Gen-Xers. After all, there's a reason this show is on Netflix and not a cable network getting millions in advertising dollars. Good luck, Helton. This message will self-destruct in five seconds."

[Editor's note: I was actually way less articulate than that]


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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Diarrhea of the Police Mouth

Thursday, April 9, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hey all. Well, we made it another week. April 1 we had a training meeting at the sheriff's department. The training was on radio procedure and what to do and not to do. We even had a pop quiz on radio codes. After 30 years of not using them I surprised myself and remembered quite a few. Anyway, the class opened with some cop silliness and I have attached the video that was shown. #9 is on a cop with diarrhea of the mouth. It happens. All together there are 9 of these up on youtube and Vimeo. Hope you enjoy as much as we did...

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ROBOTIC GAMING MONTHLY - Amiib-Oh No

Thursday, April 9, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Artwork by CitrusKing46

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Robotic Gaming Monthly, Topless Robot's monthly column devoted to the recent happenings, reviews of recent releases, and trailers in gaming! And after what felt like a particularly lengthy month with a lot of notable releases, news, happenings, and whatnot, there's a lot to get into this time around, including seven reviews, twenty trailers, and a lecture as to why tiny figures of plumbers can actually be bad for you, so let's go already!

(Sorry about the two-day delay, by the way: A combination of WonderCon, Easter shenanigans, and suddenly having to move to a new residence cause a slight bump in the road.)

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New Comic Book Day: Nobody's Getting Their Own Universe

Wednesday, April 8, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Michel Fiffe
WARNING: Secret Wars speculation ahead.

Let's all take a deep breath and stop freaking out about Marvel spite-cancelling Fantastic Four or pushing the X-Men off into their own pocket universe so Marvel can screw with Fox on the movies. That is an insane, silly thing to suggest, even if you're going to walk it back later and pretend that you've been right all along. First of all, the X-Men have existed in a semi-autonomous corner of the MU off and on for their entire existence. The entire Utopia period, for example, was marked by limited interaction with the rest of Marvel's stable. Hell, shuffling the X-Men off to San Francisco felt like an excuse to get them away from the Avengers, to limit their continuity impact. And secondly, look at this. The Secret Wars prelude trade's contents are awfully FF heavy for a company that purportedly wants nothing to do with the Richards/Storm clan. As a matter of fact, it certainly looks a lot like the crossover is going to be the culmination of Hickman's Fantastic Four as much as it is a cap to his Avengers. So let's all just stop freaking out about something that's obviously wrong, and keep freaking out about the stuff we can control, like why we need Steve Trevor AND Rick Flagg in the same movie.

This week in comics, we have two crossovers, a western, an ending, a prison, an omnibus and a Darksiders. But first, we have a glorious homage.

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Stupid Real-Estate Questions and Yam Soup

Thursday, April 2, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hey Earthlings, and those of you who are just stuck here for the time being:

Okay, here is my soapbox for this week. Well maybe not a soapbox but this totally falls under "how stupid can they really be?" As most of you know, I am a real estate appraiser, and I got a couple of real doozies of requests/questions this last week.

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