7 Different Ways One Walking Dead Toy Triggered My Panic Attacks

Friday, August 28, 2015 at 5:00 am


I get panic attacks sometimes.

I don't like to say I "suffer" from them, because I feel like that word should be reserved for people who need serious medical attention. It's enough to say I get them, and I don't like them. I can't imagine there's a person who does. Everyone's are different, but mine often combine the feeling that I have a ton of stuff that needs doing in too little time, while simultaneously holding me in place and keeping me from actually doing any of it, save obsessively checking Twitter to see if new Star Wars news broke.

So when I saw the movie Lego: A Brickumentary, and I heard Trey Parker talking about how he loves to build Lego sets in his free time because they're just about following instructions and that relaxes his mind, I decided it might be a good idea to give that a go. But maybe I shouldn't have substituted a McFarlane Building set in the equation...

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25 Games to Check Out At PAX 2015

Thursday, August 27, 2015 at 5:00 am


Well, this year's Penny Arcade Expo is happening this weekend in Seattle from Friday to Monday. It's one of the year's biggest, most prominent, and most notable gaming festivals chock full of several amazing new and upcoming video games for the public to try out...which only saddens me further when I remember that I don't have the budget to actually attend it this year.

But just because I lack the necessary travel funds doesn't mean that I can't still get involved in some way. After all, it would still be my honor to spotlight several of the amazing pieces of electronic entertainment that will be on display at PAX this year, maybe possibly help those who are able to be there by highlighting some noteworthy titles for them to check out. Because we at Topless Robot are dedicated to providing you the best coverage possible of nerdy events no matter what, because we are determined to feature as many of the most promising and unique games that deserve more attention as we possibly can, and because we are totally not just hoping to have lightning strike twice and end up replicating the success of our E3 2015 list.

I kid, though. Regardless of whether or not you're going to be attending the show, hopefully our little showcase here will allow you to discover any upcoming games to look forward to. So without further ado, let our little preview of some of the most interesting games set to appear at PAX 2015 begin!

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10 Fictional Heroes Who Really Suck at Their Jobs

Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 5:00 am


On the surface, heroes are who we should aspire to be. When you examine specific ones closely, however, you'll notice many are ill-suited for their duties. Are these flaws designed to humanize them, or do writers just not realize how terrible these modern day role models are? Just because they have a loftier than average vocation doesn't mean they're not incompetent. If your favorite hero has been around long enough, they're bound to have off-days (not to mention days when they're mind controlled into turning evil), so let's try to focus on the ones that have chronically underperformed, have the wrong attitude for their profession, or massively screwed up. So yeah, there will be SPOILERS.

(This excludes characters that are intentionally satirical like Sterling Archer and the Tick. I'll also avoid characters who failed into obscurity; you lucked out this time, Sir Denis Nayland Smith! Or should I say the destitute racist's Sherlock Holmes?) So if you've ever gotten a lousy performance review at work, take comfort in knowing that your career could still be the basis for a popular hero one day!

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10 MMA Fighters Who Would Make Better Movie Heroes than Ronda Rousey or Gina Carano

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 11:19 am


It took almost as much time (34 seconds) for Ronda Rousey to dispatch her latest challenger down in Brazil as it did for her next film project to be announced. Rousey has taken the sports world by storm in 2015, and she's looking to do the same in the movie world, having appeared in The Expendables 3, Furious 7 and Entourage between whooping ass in the Octagon. She's even passed up former hot thing fighter-turned actress Gina Carano. The thing is, she's not (yet) as passable an actress as Carano, though she's certainly more badass.

It took some scouring - and in a few cases straight-up stretching - but I've put together a list of 10 MMA fighters who could conceivably match or exceed both Rousey and Carano in the entertainment world if given a chance beyond the bargain bin of your local Walmart.

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5 Masters of the Universe Characters That Would Work Cinematically (and 5 That Probably Wouldn't)

Monday, August 24, 2015 at 5:00 am

Big Bad Toy Store

The Castle Grayskull gang are makin' a comeback! Masters of the Universe, once Mattel's borderline forgotten in-house brand, has seen a resurgence in public awareness and licensing over the past year. He-Man and Skeletor are popping up in car commercials, video games, designer toys, more designer toys, statues, comic books, shirts and even underoos.

And then there's the long-fabled film. You know which one I mean - the one that seems to go into hibernation every six months, poking its head out of its cave just long enough to announce a new writer.

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7 Ways Sinister 2 Is an Utter Disappointment

Friday, August 21, 2015 at 5:00 am


I love the first Sinister. If you're a fan of horror and/or a writer, I don't know how you could not. Compared to so many of the other supernatural-themed Blumhouse movies, where the threat remains hidden or abstract, it delivered their first real potentially iconic monster in Bughuul, who masters all media like a demonic Howard Stern and commands your kids' attention appropriately.

With the same writing team on the sequel - one of whom was the director of the first film - I thought I was in good hands. I expected at least that what worked well would be re-trodden. Unfortunately, the new one recycles almost everything except the good stuff.

Many MAJOR SPOILERS follow - if all you want to know is whether my thumb or a different digit is raised, I suspect you've figured that much out by now. I'm about to tell you why.

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The 9 Anime Transfer Students We Love the Most

Thursday, August 20, 2015 at 5:00 am

Screen shot of Kinmoza!
From supernatural action series to slice-of-life comedies, transfer students show up in a lot of anime.

In real life, the latest addition to a school might get a few questions before class resumes as normal. In fiction, transfer students can put a plot in motion. Would Tina Belcher have gone bad without a new girl at school? Sometimes, they drive a feature length story. What would Heathers, Mean Girls, The Craft or any other teen movie be without the student who disrupts the norm? Other times, new kids have breathed new life into ongoing young adult series, like The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High.

Transfer students are common enough to earn their own TV Trope entry, and anime is no exception to the phenomenon. Whether you're watching the dramatic saga of magical girls or a light-hearted slice-of-life comedy, transfer students are as much a part of these school-centric stories as uniforms and extracurricular clubs.

With the back-to-school season upon us, let's take a look at some of the great transfer students of anime. These are students whose arrival sparked a new mystery to unravel. Some became heroes. Some hold secrets that are crucial to the story. A few will bring fun and excitement to a group of new friends. Others heighten the drama. All will remind you that it's not a teen anime unless there's a transfer student.

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The Top 10 Triumphs of Tracey Walter (Bob the Goon is #6!)

Wednesday, August 19, 2015 at 5:00 am


With the smashing success of our recent list of cool Clint Howard credits came a suggestion from one of our regular readers, John Hanna: that we ought to give a similar treatment to character actor Tracey Walter. Honestly, we're a little bit embarrassed that we didn't think of this ourselves.

Who, after all, is more deserving of nerdy adulation than Walter, who has lent his keenly squinting, weathered face and weird lovability to movies from Rumble Fish and City Slickers to Erin Brockovich and Death to Smoochy, and TV from Amazing Stories to Reno 911! to Airwolf to Alf? Here are a few, a very few, of his nerdiest, most memorable roles:

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From Movie Blogger to Sinister Scribe: 8 Things We Learned About Writing From C. Robert Cargill

Tuesday, August 18, 2015 at 5:00 am


C. Robert Cargill is living the movie blogger dream, having gone from reviewing movies online as Ain't It Cool News' "Massawyrm," to co-creating his own bona-fide franchise now with the Sinister films, cowritten with Dr. Strange director Scott Derrickson. So nowadays, the guy who was once best known for complaining that The Ant Bully was about communism is better known as the guy who brought Blumhouse's creepy boogeyman Bughuul into your cinematic nightmares.

A native of Austin, Texas, Cargill recently came to L.A. to promote Sinister 2, so I got to pick his brain a bit about what the transition was like from critic looking in to critiqued, looking out. Here are 8 things I learned from the turned 'Wyrm.

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7 Reasons Why Mr. Robot Is Better Than True Detective, Hannibal and Every Other Show This Summer

Monday, August 17, 2015 at 5:00 am

Summer television was once the place where good (but usually very bad) TV went to die a merciful death away from the eyes of the public... and advertisers. It was the place networks dumped their undesirables and under-performers. However, while the ratings may not have changed, the quality of the programming certainly has. This year, though, a new show came along that seems to have taken the potential of summer television to the peak of its awesomeness, and that show is USA's Mr. Robot.

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