Blu-ray Today: Jamie Foxx's Big, Blue Veiny Head Is Electric

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Yes, today is the day that those of you who like mediocre attempts at cinematic franchise-building packed inside the noggin of an Oscar-winner made to look utterly embarrassing have been waiting for. Own The Amazing Spider-Man 2 on Blu-ray in a blue head, and you too can enjoy deleted scenes that make the movie even worse, like the alternate ending in which Peter's dad shows up alive to deliver the "With great power..." line, because in this reality, that's just another thing Uncle Ben fucked up.

if you own a 3D TV, the action sequences should give it a workout. If you don't, and you must buy it, pretend you got it so you can make out with Jamie Foxx's lifeless replica lips, or have sex with his mouth...that's less embarrassing than the alternative: that you wish to view the movie multiple times. Accept it as a gift to be polite if you need to.

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GIVEAWAY: Power Rangers Megaforce Complete DVD Set

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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With the news of the Power Rangers reboot movie coming to theaters on July 22nd, 2016, it was time to wrap up the Megaforce storyline, and this week saw the release of the fifth and final DVD in the series. In it, "with the help of Robo Knight, the Ultra Gosei Great Megazord and all of their Power Cards and Morphers, the Power Rangers race against time to defeat a reborn Admiral Malkor, a giant Metal Alice, the transformed Cyborg Vrak and a powerful new alien called The Messenger!"

No idea what the significance of any of that is, but it sounds like there will be fighting, and lots of it.


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Edge of Tomorrow Gets Paul Heyman-esque New Title on Blu-ray/DVD

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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When I grew up in Ireland, it wasn't uncommon for movies that had done poorly in the U.S. to get new titles when they arrived overseas. Adventures in Babysitting became A Night on the Town, and Howard the Duck became Howard...A New Breed of Hero. But I've never seen it done on quite so high a profile of movie at home - Edge of Tomorrow is now apparently officially being semi-retitled Live. Die. Repeat/Edge of Tomorrow. This comes after the movie was originally retitled from All You Need Is Kill.

Just spitballing here, but do you suppose anyone involved might have been a wrestling fan?

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WWE

Blu-ray Today: Disney's Big Dump, Toxic Avenger, DC Cartoons Great and Small

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Bedknobs and Broomsticks - It's witches versus Nazis in Disney's adaptation of Mary Norton's children's books, ultimately feeling like a hybrid of Mary Poppins and C.S. Lewis. Angela Lansbury is the aspiring witch, and David Tomlinson the con man in possession of some very real spells. Throw in an enchanted bedknob, a journey to an island of cartoon animals, and a full-on war scene between invading Germans and reanimated suits of armor, and you have a movie that will blow your mind when you try to think about how they pulled it off in the pre-CGI era.

This is one of many Disney Blu-rays being dropped into the marketplace today, in a weird strategy apparently designed to bankrupt parents. Also out today is the unfortunately timed Tarzan, which won Phil Collins the Oscar for Best Original Song despite Robin Williams' performance of South Park's "Blame Canada" at the Oscars, and Hercules, which I really hate, from the ugly Gerald Scarfe drawings to the calculatedly "sassy" black chorus to the Michael Bolton end-title song. Far more interesting is the double-feature of The Adventures of Ichabod & Mr. Toad/Fun and Fancy Free, which contains four stories in all, adapting "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," The Wind in the Willows, "Jack and the Beanstalk" and an original tale of a circus bear who escapes to the woods. It's also notable for featuring another onscreen appearance by Jiminy Cricket, and Walt's last vocal performance as Mickey Mouse.

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Top-Down Smackdown: Heyman, Can You Spare a Dime?

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 5:30 pm

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I don't always own wrestling Blu-rays. But when I do, they're wedding anniversary gifts from my wife.

Not that there's much actual wrestling on this set - a whopping three matches are included, all of which feature non-athlete Paul Heyman forced into an in-ring role. There's a six-man tag match with arch-nemesis Jim Cornette and the dueling Midnight Express teams, a tag match with Brock Lesnar against Matt and Jeff Hardy en route to the latter team breaking up, and a handicap match with Curtis Axel against CM Punk that features Heyman getting the thrashing of a lifetime with a kendo stick - even though he pulls out a cheap victory at the end, the catharsis is there for the fans who loved to hate him.

For those interested in the business of entertainment, however, this disc set is a winner. Mostly for wrestling fans...but not exclusively.

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Blu-ray Today: Shailene Woodley, Katee Sackhoff, Karen Gillan and Dragon Ball Z

Tuesday, August 5, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Oculus - Putting Katee Sackhoff and Karen Gillan in mortal danger is a great way to frighten the hell out of sci-fi fanboys and girls like most of us, and this tale of a haunted mirror delivers the scares in spades, as Gillan plots revenge on the evil looking-glass while it fights back by distorting her perception of reality. Past and present collide as she and brother Brenton Thwaites lose the ability to distinguish between their childhood with increasingly deranged parents, and adulthood bewitched by the ghosts in the glass - my only major complaint is that the lines of reality get so blurred by the end that it's hard to feel the jeopardy if it's mostly imagined.

The original 32-minute short that spawned the feature is included, as are deleted scenes with optional director's commentary.

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Rob Zombie Wants Fans to Fund His Next Movie. Also, Rob Zombie Still Has Fans

Thursday, July 31, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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I'm not totally opposed to Rob Zombie the director - remaking The Empire Strikes Back as white-trash grindhouse in The Devil's Rejects was as close to brilliant as he gets, I'll defend Halloween II as an unreliable fever dream on Laurie's part, and House of 1,000 Corpses has Chris Hardwick being murdered. But the more I see of his work, the less I feel is there. Lords of Salem proved his wife could act and had some great visuals - but every one of said visuals was cribbed from Kubrick or Polanski. He's still like all the guys I went to film school with who insisted on pointing out which director each shot of their Super-8 film was a homage to.

You want to crowdsource a movie, Rob? Crowdsource a good script first. Because...you wanna hear the idea he has for this one?

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Sharknado 2 SPOILER Thread

Wednesday, July 30, 2014 at 6:00 pm

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What the hell. Let's do this. Movie's starting now on the east coast.

Director Paul Hough Picks the Human Race Signed DVD and Poster Winners

Wednesday, July 30, 2014 at 2:00 pm

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My writer-director, fresh from an international tour to promote the film, emailed last night with his favorite contest entries, in which all of you tried to guess what character I play in his film, and what my fate is. Before I reveal the winners, here are his comments:

I like number 1 - very creative - and number 2 is smart - and number 3 funny

Without further ado...

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Blu-ray Today: Werner Herzog and Everything Else That Isn't Twin Peaks

Tuesday, July 29, 2014 at 8:00 am

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I don't think I've ever before run a Blu-ray list on the same day as Blu-ray Today - so as not to be redundant, I'll just suggest you look at today's prior post for Twin Peaks, the real highlight of the week. But if a damn fine copy - and hot! - of David Lynch's finest TV hours leaves you with only garmonbozia, there are other things coming out too.

Like Curtains. I don't know what it is, and I don't need to know. I just want it for the cover alone.

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