Blu-ray Today: Captain America, Winter Soldier, Pumpkinhead and Godzilla Are All Here

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 at 8:00 am

Captain America: The Winter Soldier - I don't know if you heard, but Marvel's most recent sequel is exactly like a '70s political thriller! You probably heard that because Marvel coached everybody well to say "'70s political thriller," knowing as they do that critics have a Pavlovian reaction to that favored genre of theirs...the '70s political thriller. Why, it almost feels like a conspiracy...straight out of a '70s political thriller!

I kid. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie just as much as everyone else, despite the fact that unlike in the era and genre to which we compare, there was never any doubt in my mind whatsoever that the important character we thought dead was actually not. Still, easily my favorite of the two Captain America movies, and the decision to totally undermine SHIELD was as ballsy as Marvel movies get (i.e. not the ballsiest thing ever, but still unexpected).

The Blu-ray includes commentary tracks by the directors and the writers. The Blu-ray cover, surprisingly, does not include Anthony Mackie as the Falcon, which seems an odd call given the current comics storyline.

Also out this week is Series 1 of Agents of SHIELD. I've nothing to add there to the volume of stuff we've already said.

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Blu-ray Today: Firestarter, Dracula, Universal Monsters, Godzilla and Megalon

Tuesday, September 2, 2014 at 8:00 am

They Came Together - There is a lot of stuff coming out on Blu-ray today that's in our wheelhouse, but a whole lot of it is also mediocre-to-crap; as such, the best release of the week is this skewering of romantic comedy tropes by The State's David Wain. For my money, this is not only superior to his Wet Hot American Summer, but almost on a par with the best of the Zucker-Abrams-Zucker spoof movies, with a similar formula: throw as many jokes as you can out there with such rapid-fire intensity that some of them will hit, all while spoofing tropes rather than scenes from specific movies. There's a bit where Paul Rudd goes into a bar after a bad day - involving the bartender's absolutely literal responses to the phrases "Tell me about it" and "You can say that again" - that's one of the funniest damn things I've seen in a year that also gave us Will Arnett's Lego Batman and Batista as autistic Drax.

So don't be fooled by the cover art - this is pure comedy of the absurd, with Rudd and Amy Poehler just good-looking enough to pass for chick-flick stars, but also just off-kilter and weird enough to play in the no-rules universe that rips every modern rom-com cliche to shreds.

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "The Quest for the Holey Grail Part 2" by KingAurthr2

Friday, August 29, 2014 at 8:00 am


If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

The real quest is my quest to get through the dumbest fucking thing I have ever read and maintain my composure. We're not there yet, but Greg and I give it our all in another "exciting" installment of this all-out assault on spelling, grammar and logic.

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Blu-ray Today: Zombie Apocalypse, Nuclear War...and Legends of Oz

Tuesday, August 26, 2014 at 8:00 am


The Walking Dead Season 4 - It's getting to where the quality of the shows themselves really don't matter so much when it comes to Blu-ray sales, as the McFarlane packaging alone is almost worth the cost. Last year it was floating heads in fishtanks (mine have grown an impressive layer of mold); this year, it's a tree zombie whose head and arm move when you pull the discs out, making it more articulated than most classic Spawn figures.

The show itself was iffier this season once it got rid of the Governor - the solo episodes are less fun, and the new characters en route to Washington haven't made much of an impression. Here's hoping Terminus itself will be more compelling than the build-up to it.

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Weekend Open Thread: Become Robocop, Shake Some Tail and Drone in on Disney

Friday, August 22, 2014 at 7:05 pm

There won't be a Weekend Hangover post on Monday, as Monday morning's list will be Liz Ohanesian's report from Power Morphicon. So let me try to throw as many items as I can out there now:


-Rob Liefeld just looks like he's blatantly feeding the trolls with that variant cover above.

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TR Readers Create New Power Rangers; One Is a Winner

Friday, August 22, 2014 at 5:35 pm


To win a set of Power Rangers Megaforce DVDs, I asked you to create a new Power Ranger, insisting that artistic talent would not be the primary judging factor, but entertainment value would be. I think our runners up and winner prove this.

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Blu-ray Today: Jamie Foxx's Big, Blue Veiny Head Is Electric

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 8:00 am


Yes, today is the day that those of you who like mediocre attempts at cinematic franchise-building packed inside the noggin of an Oscar-winner made to look utterly embarrassing have been waiting for. Own The Amazing Spider-Man 2 on Blu-ray in a blue head, and you too can enjoy deleted scenes that make the movie even worse, like the alternate ending in which Peter's dad shows up alive to deliver the "With great power..." line, because in this reality, that's just another thing Uncle Ben fucked up.

if you own a 3D TV, the action sequences should give it a workout. If you don't, and you must buy it, pretend you got it so you can make out with Jamie Foxx's lifeless replica lips, or have sex with his mouth...that's less embarrassing than the alternative: that you wish to view the movie multiple times. Accept it as a gift to be polite if you need to.

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GIVEAWAY: Power Rangers Megaforce Complete DVD Set

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm


With the news of the Power Rangers reboot movie coming to theaters on July 22nd, 2016, it was time to wrap up the Megaforce storyline, and this week saw the release of the fifth and final DVD in the series. In it, "with the help of Robo Knight, the Ultra Gosei Great Megazord and all of their Power Cards and Morphers, the Power Rangers race against time to defeat a reborn Admiral Malkor, a giant Metal Alice, the transformed Cyborg Vrak and a powerful new alien called The Messenger!"

No idea what the significance of any of that is, but it sounds like there will be fighting, and lots of it.

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Edge of Tomorrow Gets Paul Heyman-esque New Title on Blu-ray/DVD

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 2:30 pm


When I grew up in Ireland, it wasn't uncommon for movies that had done poorly in the U.S. to get new titles when they arrived overseas. Adventures in Babysitting became A Night on the Town, and Howard the Duck became Howard...A New Breed of Hero. But I've never seen it done on quite so high a profile of movie at home - Edge of Tomorrow is now apparently officially being semi-retitled Live. Die. Repeat/Edge of Tomorrow. This comes after the movie was originally retitled from All You Need Is Kill.

Just spitballing here, but do you suppose anyone involved might have been a wrestling fan?


Blu-ray Today: Disney's Big Dump, Toxic Avenger, DC Cartoons Great and Small

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 8:00 am

Bedknobs and Broomsticks - It's witches versus Nazis in Disney's adaptation of Mary Norton's children's books, ultimately feeling like a hybrid of Mary Poppins and C.S. Lewis. Angela Lansbury is the aspiring witch, and David Tomlinson the con man in possession of some very real spells. Throw in an enchanted bedknob, a journey to an island of cartoon animals, and a full-on war scene between invading Germans and reanimated suits of armor, and you have a movie that will blow your mind when you try to think about how they pulled it off in the pre-CGI era.

This is one of many Disney Blu-rays being dropped into the marketplace today, in a weird strategy apparently designed to bankrupt parents. Also out today is the unfortunately timed Tarzan, which won Phil Collins the Oscar for Best Original Song despite Robin Williams' performance of South Park's "Blame Canada" at the Oscars, and Hercules, which I really hate, from the ugly Gerald Scarfe drawings to the calculatedly "sassy" black chorus to the Michael Bolton end-title song. Far more interesting is the double-feature of The Adventures of Ichabod & Mr. Toad/Fun and Fancy Free, which contains four stories in all, adapting "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," The Wind in the Willows, "Jack and the Beanstalk" and an original tale of a circus bear who escapes to the woods. It's also notable for featuring another onscreen appearance by Jiminy Cricket, and Walt's last vocal performance as Mickey Mouse.

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