New James Bond Poster, or Ad for Black Death Vodka?

Thursday, September 3, 2015 at 9:30 am

click to enlarge

I'm pretty sure Slash approves.

I'm not so sure the slash between Bond and the skull guy that will inevitably be written should ever be approved.

Taco Bell May Want Me Dead, Is Testing a Taco With a Taco Shell Made of Fried Chicken

Wednesday, September 2, 2015 at 8:00 am

imgur via reddit

Taco shells made of breaded fried chicken. They're also calling it the Naked Crispy Chicken Taco, not because it is in any way unadorned, but presumably because it's just kind of an America Fuck Yeah sort of name. Like "Topless Robot."

Southern cooks, Mexican street vendors and the gross snack stands at county fairs are all going, "How come we never thought of that?"

I guess they thought stuffing it with nacho cheese and bacon would be overkill. But that has to be the next step, right?

McDonald's may have won the fast food news cycle yesterday with its announcement of all-day breakfast starting Oct. 6th (and I say screw that noise, because I want them to announce the rest of the menu becoming available in the morning). But unless they introduce the deep-fried Big Mac in a few hours, this day belongs to the Bell. And possibly the Grim Reaper, who is somewhere tenting his fingers Monty Burns-style and crowing "Ehhhhhxcellent."

Unboxing August's Geekfuel Shipment, With Kitten

Monday, August 31, 2015 at 12:32 pm


Toby the cat was just determined to throw his mom off her game this time around. Did he succeed? Watch and find out.

Geekfuel boxes start at $13.90. To grab some Geekfuel of your own, use our special link to get an extra bonus item. To gift a box or subscription to somebody else, GO HERE.

More >>

Transforming Optimus Prime Birthday Cake Looks Amazing, Probably Hard to Cut and Eat

Friday, August 28, 2015 at 12:30 pm


I'm not sure how many animatronics I would want in my own birthday cake as a matter of practicality, but a G1 Optimus who can become a robot and go back to a truck, and be (mostly) eaten by kids is impressive indeed.

However, next year I want to see cake creator Rusell Munro step up and make a Bayformers Bumblebee cake that sprays Mello Yello everywhere from its crotch.

But not for his kid. For me.

More >>

Fast Food Review: Taco Bell's Dare Devil Loaded Grillers

Friday, August 28, 2015 at 8:00 am


Taco Bell's latest creation is a small $1 burrito containing "beef" and red corn strips, plus three different possible levels of hot sauce - chipotle, habanero and ghost pepper.

The idea is to try all three and see what you can handle. A better idea, if you dare, is to somehow persuade your mother-in-law to do that on camera. Which I did.

More >>

Burger King Is Pitching McDonald's a "McWhopper"

Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 12:55 pm


Given that Burger King is pretty consistently one of the most disappointing, bland and uninventive of the major fast food chains, I'm not hugely surprised they're the ones making the pitch to the larger competitor - which is equally uninventive and bland in many respects, but has better name recognition. The idea is that for "Peace Day" (9-21), the two companies make a pop-up store halfway between their corporate headquarters, and serve this monstrous mash-up burger free to people who use a particular hashtag. I'm not sure why Yum Brands don't already do something like this - who wouldn't go for a Long John Silver's/Taco Bell fish Quesarito, or Kentucky Fried Pizza? Not this guy!

I don't see Mickey D's going for it, but if they do, I want the burgers to be served by a terrifying hybrid of Ronald McDonald and the masked King - sort of a "Composite Superman" of cellulite. Even if the burger doesn't work, the horror movie rights will sell swiftly.

More >>

The Human Centipede Pot Pipe Will Get You Shitfaced

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 10:00 am


Experienced connoisseurs of marijuana know that the smoke is best when filtered through water. But through an entire digestive system?

If you thought Marky Mark and Ted were wusses to refuse to smoke from the penis bong in Ted 2, we're talking amateur hour compared to this Human Centipede pipe made by a fellow named Dustin Yunker. I'm not sure whether your mouth goes on the ass or the other mouth - I just know that you will look terrible either way. So make sure the high is worth it.

Via Dangerous Minds, h/t Sly Dante

Hear Patti Smith's Sad, Dark Song About the End of Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Friday, August 21, 2015 at 8:00 am


Appropriately, it's equal parts absurd and disturbing. As she's a longtime fan, it's no surprise she can masterfully shake you up about it.

So grab your meatwad and enjoy.

More >>

Ask Luke's Mother in Law: Bees in the Bathroom, Guns on the Range

Thursday, August 20, 2015 at 6:30 am


Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she's seen and heard things crazier than you've imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

Hi all. Another week, and most kids are back to school and parents are doing the happy dance with teachers doing the "when is the next vacation" song. We have great teachers out here in the Morongo Basin. I know several and they are dedicated and very hard working. With most schools the classes are over crowded and lack funds for a lot of supplies. But they keep going. I'm not sure I would survive in a room with 35 seventh graders.

More >>

Norm Macdonald Is Somehow the New Official Colonel Sanders for KFC

Monday, August 17, 2015 at 9:24 am


Note to self: harden arteries with chicken that's really bad for you.

Darrell Hammond made an odd sort of sense, as a guy whose whole deal is doing impressions.

Norm Macdonald is a weirder choice by far, as someone who's not only not southern, but Canadian. And whose impressions have generally been limited to David Letterman and Burt Reynolds. If he can get poutine on the menu, though, I am so down.

More >>