And here we get to my penance for the Jack in the Box Munchie Meals.
Well, last time we reviewed Denny's, which is everywhere, so this time, let's go in the other direction. Vegan fast food chain Veggie Grill is strictly a west coast thing, in California, Portland and Washington, probably because the idea of "vegan fast food" would be laughed out of town in the south and midwest. That's not because food without animal products can't be tasty - most Middle-East/Mediterranean places can disavow one of that notion very quickly - but vegans really seem to want to take away everything that's fun about eating for the rest of us. I don't just mean cheese; I'm also talking about how it's not enough to eat vegetables, but you have to eat them nearly raw to get all those good vitamins and fibers or whatever. And then there's the tendency to needlessly add dried fruit to things that don't need it.
Veggie Grill, though, is courting the mainstream, and invited me down to try some of their new winter menu items. How did I do? Would I order any again? Read onward...More >>
Pardon my French-looking surrender-monkey ways, Ben and Jerry's - you know I love you, but taking a catchphrase emphatically based on alcohol and turning it into butterscotch was some bullshit, right up there with John Constantine quitting smoking at the end of his movie. Tasty bullshit, yes. No doubt. But nowhere near alcoholic enough.
When you want your evening to escalate quickly, spirits importer Riviera now has just the thing: official Ron Burgundy scotch. Did I say now? They don't actually have it in stock right now. Like Mr. Burgundy's credibility as a newsman, though, it is expected to appear eventually. Somehow.
Somebody pass that Ben & Jerry's while we wait.
When they said well-placed shots would bring down a zombie, who knew they meant this? Alcohol does kill brain cells, so I suppose if you give a zombie enough vodka over many years, these "head shots" will bring it down...it's the friendly way. Of course if you read the book Warm Bodies, you know that it's super-dangerous to get a zombie drunk if there's a chance he might ever unzombify out of love (the alcohol part was conspicuously omitted from the movie version, when it was decided that giving the hero a murderous, booze-fueled rampage in the middle of his humanizing would make the audience less sympathetic).
I imagine in a pinch, vodka also makes a good preservative for floating heads in tanks. After all, the Governor prefers whiskey when it comes time to drink.More >>
Happy holiday. Sparse posting in effect over the four-day weekend, but that means every thread is effectively an open one (though only items on the Friday night one will count towards the Monday hangover post, because I need to keep my tasks humanly possible).
Up first, an uncharacteristically non heart-attack inducing holiday episode of Epic Meal Time, in case you need some cooking ideas tonight.More >>
This one goes out to all of you who think I dine too regionally in the casual sphere. And yes, it's a loose definition of fast food to include actual sit-down places, but I've been to enough "fast-casual" places that use actual plates and such for obvious fast-food fare that it counts for me, and that's all that really matters. Besides - trivia note here - the very first fast food review I ever write professionally was of a Dave & Busters menu item. A Philly cheesesteak eggroll with nacho sauce for dipping just struck me as something someone ought to be telling the world about, for its awfulness and awesomeness coexisting in one ridiculously fatty bit of fusion.
Anyway...Oh hai Denny's!More >>
Normally, we Americans don't take too kindly to insults sent our way from foreign lands. Best-case scenario is that Matt Stone and Trey Parker will do an obscene caricature of you; worst-case, we'll find a way that you're like Hitler, and go to war. If you're Gary OIdman, however, we'll cut you a lot of slack just because you're awesome. In fact...sing along with me:
This Oldman, keeps it real, he plays knick-knack on our meal, with a knick-knack, turkey-smack, flip us all the bird...this Oldman has a way with words.
Now watch the video...More >>
Some of you have even more imagination than the county fair.
In order to win $130 worth of fast food gift cards, I asked you all to create your own dream fast food item, regardless of cost, health damage or feasibility. I said I would choose the one I liked the sound of the best, which gave the edge to those who've been paying close attention to my fast food reviews generally.
This was still a tough decision, even once I ruled out the redundancies (as I always say, look at your competition - if three people already submitted a Thanksgiving dinner sandwich idea, yours will probably not win).More >>
Meet the Kegerator, a.k.a. the greatest device in the world not to give happy endings (yet). It comes pre-loaded with 140 classic arcade games - the actual, original programs, so that all your old tips and tricks will still work - has built in MP3 software to create your own accompanying music playlist, and comes with a built-in fridge, cup-holders and three beer taps. As the press release puts it, "players never have to stop the action to refill their drink."
I don't know how you folks are with beer, but if a lot of it is being consumed, I can think of at least one reason the action might need to be paused. Unless there's a future model planned with built-in urinals.
Still, PS4 and Xbox One got nothing on this ultimate machine...er, except price. The Kegerator costs five thousand dollars. But it's not like you'll ever need to leave the house once you have one, so you can always sell your car.