Sometimes, You Want Your Baby to Just Look Like a Drunk Without Being One

Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 11:30 am


Fortunately for you, there's "Li'l Lager," a baby bottle that it makes it look like Junior's chugging down some brews when it's actually just milk. It's sort of an ironic reversal of the whole brown paper bag concept, though I'm not sure the makers had that kind of elaborate social satire in mind.

For just $12, here comes Honey Brew-Brew. And for their next trick, how about crayons that look like used heroin syringes? Or diapers colored to look like thongs?

h/t AJ Feuerman

UK KFC Has Coffee Cups Made of Cookies That Smell Like Grass

Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 9:16 am


I don't mean marijuana, by the way.

KFC has just unveiled the UK's first edible coffee cup. It's called the Scoff-ee cup (badum-tish).

The 'Scoff-­‐ee Cup' is made from biscuit, wrapped in sugar paper and lined with a layer of glorious white chocolate. It keeps the coffee hot and the cup crispy.

For those of you not fluent in English-English, allow me to translate: "biscuit" = "cookie" and "scoff" = "eat rapidly." And being made of cookies is not the weirdest thing here.
We've infused different cups with a variety of ambient aromas including Coconut Sun Cream, Freshly Cut Grass and Wild Flowers.
Coconut I get. But flowers and cut grass? Are you trying to induce hay fever in fans of coffee and cookies? Have you actually met people who tell you they wish to eat cut grass?

I mean, I like the smell of the ocean, but I sure as shit don't want my coffee tasting like it. Keep it simple. Like hot dog buns made of chicken.

h/t SlyDante777

Tomatan, a Japanese Robot That Sits on Your Shoulders Feeding You Tomatoes

Thursday, February 19, 2015 at 11:35 am

askanews on YouTube

What is it with Japanese marathons and weird food devices? Yesterday, we had the wearable banana. Today, we have the smiley-faced robot that stuffs tomatoes in your mouth.

The Tomatan looks like a small humanoid robot -- with a tomato for a head -- and sits snugly on the athlete's shoulders.

Tugging a tiny lever in the foot moves the arms to catch a tomato from the dispensing shoot. The arms then rotate the fruit over the runner's head and hold it in front of his mouth.

"Tomatoes have lots of nutrition that combats fatigue," said Shigenori Suzuki of Kagome, which makes the contraption.
Also rumored to combat fatigue: not having an eight-kilogram robot full of tomatoes on your shoulders when you run.

Given that this is Japan, I expect somebody to modify this into a robot that holds used panties in front of your face, any minute now.

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Hide Your Booze Inside American Sniper-ish Fake Baby

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 12:00 pm


An expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby. Drinking in public is now adorable.
American Sniper takes a lot of crap for the scene in which Bradley Cooper holds an obviously fake baby as if it's his real kid, but what if there was a good reason? Could it have concealed a flask of vodka to ease his nerves?

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Dole Has Created the "Wearable Banana" With LED Peel (Yes, You Can Eat It Too)

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 11:00 am


You know what I always hated about bananas? That you can't wear them.

And you know what sucks most about running? Not having a banana while you do it.

Thank GOD Dole has remedied those terrible problems. For the Tokyo marathon, two runners will have "Wearable Bananas" strapped to them that will monitor their speed, distance and heart rate, and display it on the peel in real time. Then, when the race is done, the banana gets eaten.

I wonder if adding value to the peel this way is meant to dissuade runners from tossing it under the feet of their toughest competition. There are a lot of things I wonder about the whole concept, in fact.

But a wearable banana exists now. And nothing will ever be the same again.

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In Iceland, They Make Beer From Sheep Shit and Whale Testicles

Thursday, February 12, 2015 at 10:30 am

Brugghús Steðja Brewery

This is interesting marketing, to say the least:

Hvalur 2 Þorraöl Steðja is an ale we brew for the season of Þorri. What makes this beer special is that, it´s ingredients is Pure icelandic water, malted barley, hops and sheep shit-smoked whale balls. Icelanders have used this method of smoking for centuries, so we choosed to handle the whale balls the same way before we use it in the brew. Because a lack of trees in Iceland, we use dry sheep shit to smoke. This gives the beer an excellent smoke tast, a smoke tast you havn´t tryed out before... The balls also gives its flavour to the beer......
Is this beer, or fan fiction?
Every winter, Icelanders gather to eat traditional food that sustained our ancestors for generations. This is very popular here in the countryside, and we wanted the beer to be released at the same time of the festival. The dishes we eat include boiled sheep heads, liver sausage, ram testicles, fermented shark, wind-dried fish, smoked lamb meat, and blood pudding.
The testicles are cured according to an old Icelandic tradition. The testicles are salted, and then smoked with sheep dung. A whole testicle is used in every brewing cycle, and then the beer is filtered and pasteurized. We put a lot of effort into this, and it's a long process.
I'm sure. Long and hard. And obviously salty. I appreciate how Icelandic seamen come together to load the taps for this frothy brew, that's for sure. I hope it has a good head on it - that would make it a great pairing with a sausage festival.

h/t Lisa Derrick

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: A Mom's Favorite Commercials

Thursday, February 5, 2015 at 6:30 am


In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert.

Boy, I saw a survey on TV this last week that I can't believe: 48% of people surveyed said passengers should not bring food on an airplane. What? When I was little and flew, food was part of the ticket price and you were served a meal, sometimes 2 depending on the length of the flight. Today you are lucky to get an ounce of mixed nuts. The prices of food on the plane are excessive for what they serve in the little plastic box, oh and the planes will only take a credit card - no cash. I still fly several times a year. Always bring food as I refuse to pay $10.00 for a fruit plate.

Granted, I can see an objection to some foods that totally stink up the entire plane, so when I travel I bring food that has no grand, in your face smell. Typically on the flight I bring cookies, chips and some sort of sandwich - chicken, ham / cheese, PBJ etc. I love tuna but leave it at home as it does tend to have a smell. I pack it in a small lunch pack with an small ice block. I even have small travel containers for the food so I am not making additional waste with wrappers and disposable plastic containers. I think until airlines improve service we should be welcomed to pack a lunch. Okay, that's my soapbox for the week.

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Quesarito? So Five Minutes Ago. Taco Bell's Now Testing the Quesalupa.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015 at 12:15 pm


Because there's nothing in the world that isn't better stuffed with cheese, Taco Bell has taken the crispy, fried Gordita shell that is the trademark of their Chalupa, and crammed it with queso.

And just like such major, future agenda-setting decisions as who will be our next president, it all comes down to Ohio:

Holy Toledo, Fat man! If Ohio doesn't come through for our glob-given right to make every kind of food worse for you, I say we kick 'em out of the Union.

via Foodbeast

Danny Trejo Joins the Brady Bunch (in a Snickers Commercial)

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 5:45 pm


"Machete, Machete, Machete!"

Danny Trejo has appeared in many different projects in his day, so it's usually no surprise to see him show up anywhere, but Snickers' Superbowl commercial takes him the one place he's never been...the Brady household.

And he's brought along a friend...

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A UK Gallery Made a Giant Ball Pit for Adults, and the Jokes Just Write Themselves

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 12:00 pm

Pearlfisher Gallery

These women have balls all over their bodies. They're total ball-divers. Kickin' it in the balls. Enjoying an experience that busted many ball sacks. Balls.

Oh, but it gets better. The place this ball pit is located is called the Pearlfisher Gallery. So the balls are basically giving them Pearlfisher necklaces. Being a real Pearlfisher means going balls-deep. It's no wonder this place is so popular that it's by appointment only: you have to make it hard to enjoy the full effect of the Pearlfisher's immersion in balls.

There is also a bar in the gallery. I really hope they serve warm nuts.

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