Fast Food Review: Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Pepperoni Pizza

Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Pretzel: 1. a crisp, dry biscuit, usually in the form of a knot or stick, salted on the outside.

2. a larger version of this, made of soft, chewy bread dough.

In other words, terms like "pretzel bun" and "pretzel crust" are utterly meaningless. It's just that "browned and salted" doesn't have the same hook. And in some cases, it's not even browned.

But let's back up...

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Belly Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good! Krispy Kreme Ghostbusters Donuts Are Happening!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 12:35 pm

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Fittingly, they are filled with marshmallow cream, because how could something like that every hurt you? Arguably a Twinkie would be more appropriate, but since Twinkies actually had their "dead rising from the grave" moment for realz, we can give them credit for time served.

Looks like my gut is gonna stay-puffed for a while.

Surge Soda Is Coming Back!

Monday, September 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm

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A relic of those innocent days in the late '90s when we called carbs "carbos" and advertised their presence in a soft drink like it was a good thing, this bright green bastard child of Mountain Dew and sour Gatorade is about ready to return "due to popular demand."

I love the idea that there were people specifically demanding this, and wonder how many confused it with Slurm from Futurama. (Which it basically is, though I can't prove it comes from slug butts, and how dare anyone imply such a thing.). And I want to smack them and say Josta was better. That shit tasted like raspberry yogurt.

The timing sucks. A green energy drink would have been perfect for my Arrow marathon.

h/t Adam Sheehan

Weekend Hangover: From Sharknado 3 to Running Jetpacks, 17 Stories You May Have Missed

Monday, September 15, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Yes, Yondu is now in Disney Infinity, and even though they've stylized the design and probably don't have to pay for Michael Rooker's likeness, it's clearly the MIchael Rooker version. Which means that Henry Lee Lucas can run wild in your personal Disney World.

Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair, here are 16 more reader-submitted items from over the weekend that you may have missed. Tipsters include skrag2112, SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, Rx79immigrant84, NOT.DrAbraxas, Anyone00

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: When and Why to Throw a Ham at Someone

Thursday, September 11, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything. Just be polite when you do.

Happy Thursday. I bet you are wondering why there is a picture of fingernails today.

Well, I have finally found a nail polish (guys, get coffee now), that stays on my fingers for more than a couple of hours. For years I have tried various brands of polish; at best it looks good for a couple hours and then starts to chip. I finally gave up except for special times when I know I would have to do nothing with my hands. Well, I have been seeing the ads for Sally Hanson Miracle Gel. It is supposed to last 2 weeks. Yeah, really; I know my hands and what my nails go thru in a day. ButI am happy to report this photo was taken after 7 days!!!!!. Not a chip. I have been typing, digging in the dirt, appraising, swimming etc. I would have been happy if it had made a day or two - but 7 so far - Yippee. It was pricey for the polish and gel pac at $15.00 , but there was a $2.00 off coupon on the next purchase. At the price it is a heck of a lot cheaper then going to get a manicure.

Okay, the guys are probably back from the coffee break...

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That Time Howard Johnson's Made a 2001: A Space Odyssey Tie-in Kids' Comic & Menu

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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When you think Stanley Kubrick, you don't necessarily think "hotel chain restaurant kiddie meal." But that's exactly what happened, and the folks at Dangerous Minds have scanned, in its entirety, the hybrid kids menu/2001 comic book, featuring incongruous meal specials like "The Happy Clown" and "Little Boy Blue," and a retelling of the movie's story that - to put it mildly - glosses over a few things.

Why Howard Johnson's? The answer is provided, in case you hadn't already noticed.

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As far as I know, no plans were ever made to do A Clockwork Orange Julius. But check out the entire 2001 menu - it, and not the movie it's based on, is truly the ultimate trip.

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: A Key Lime Cheesecake Recipe Every Nerd Can Follow

Thursday, September 4, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hello all. Well, as most of you know, LYT and the Mrs. were visiting the desert for the Labor Day Holiday. Yes, he was working most of the time, though he did stop on the computer to clear the table so I could feed him. It is a challenge to feed a food critic (even a fast-food critic). Anyway, I think one of the best things I made this weekend was a key lime cheesecake - it turned out really good. This is a no-bake cheesecake. Start with a graham cracker crust. 2 packs of cream cheese (softened in the microwave), 1/2 can of sweetened condensed milk mix into the soft cheese, add two packs of true lime powder eratoror 2 teaspoons of lime juice. Mix and pour into the crust. Put this back in the refrig or the freezer to re-set the cheese. When you serve, it it is topped with key lime pie filling (I use canned) and whipped cream.

I also made chili with corn chips, burritos with fresh guacamole and clam rolls. It is so great to have someone to cook for.

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Germany's Radioactive Boar Problem

Wednesday, September 3, 2014 at 5:30 pm

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Original, non-nuculer colored photo by Smithsonian Wild

Do you like glowing green eggs and ham? It ought to be a Michael Bay produced movie, in which a tusked pig learns martial arts. Instead, it's a real issue for Germans who like to eat wild pig, which is to say: Germans. Radiation from Chernobyl is still concentrated in truffles and other mushrooms that soak up the toxic stuff, but wild boars don't know or care about that, nor do they conveniently drop dead from it. Rather, they just run around being all radioactive and stuff, which is all fun and games until they bite a hapless teenager who just wants to be noticed, and happens to be great at making tusk-shooters.

According to the UK Telegraph, you can expect nuclear wild pigs for 50 more years. By which time I just assume we'll get this:

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Who Is Adam Henry? The Answer May Surprise You...

Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hello, hello and thank you all for the words of support. Nothing P.O.'d me this week - how about that, so nothing to rant about, LOL. Was looking through the computer and I don't even have any new photos this week - must be slipping, so here's one of my ferret.

I just spent time still trying to get rid of my cold and trying to do appraisals in between sneezing. So I just poured another ice coffee and added some Coffee spirits - after all it has to be 5 p.m. somewhere in the world. That's also what I tell my mom when we go to Mexico and I am having a pina colada at 11 am. Yes, my 89 yr-old mom still corrects me, so don't feel bad. Hope all of our readers up in the Northern parts of California are okay and did not have damage from the recent earthquake, but it does look like the price of CA wine might be heading up. Napa really got hit hard.

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Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Hello Kitty Face Wiener Cutter

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Face. Wiener. Cutter.

Not exactly the most commercial of product names in English, I'd say. But if you've ever wanted to carve a pussy out of your wiener, or you've ever had an unfulfilled dream to literally pork Hello Kitty, $4.25 is a steal.

Also, the accompanying plastic toothpicks look like penises.