Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Superbowl, Strange Magic and Snipers

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 6:30 am

Frizzy12015.JPG

In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert.

Well, here we are in the the last week of the month, January is over already - bummer. It goes by faster as you get older. Some big doings will be happening the first week in Feburary here in the desert. This will be the 9th year, I believe, for King of the Hammers. It is a huge off-road racing event that is held out in the Johnson Valley area. This is North on Hwy 247 between Landers and Lucerne Valley. From what I understand racers from all over the world attend the event. For more information check out ultra4racing.com

More >>

BDSM Domino's Ad Shows Your Tongue in a Sex Dungeon to Describe New Flavor [UPDATED]

Wednesday, January 28, 2015 at 8:00 am

dominosriracha.jpg
adsoftheworld.com

If you guessed this is not an American Domino's Pizza ad, you'd be right. Something this unholy could only come from...um..the Holy Land? Yep, Domino's Israel think that stretching your tongue till it looks like SpongeBob's best pal as an amputee Gimp, and scourging it with whips in a bondage dungeon, is a great way to promote the yummy taste of their new sriracha pizza.

I imagine Mel Gibson immediately ordering 50. But everyone else, not so much.

UPDATE: Aww snap, Domino's Big Corporate reacts.

via Jezebel

KFC Found a Way to Make the Double Down Even Worse for You

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 11:30 am

doubledowndog.jpg
image via Andy Cook

Yes, that's a fried chicken breast wrapped around a cheese-stuffed chicken hot dog. And no, it wasn't invented at an American county fair - it's only available at KFCs in the Philippines, and only 50 are sold in each store. Presumably because they're waiting to see how many people drop dead after eating one, and anything 50 or under gets covered by liability insurance?

I think Sean Connery needs to comment on this...

More >>

Weekstarter: Apocalypse Ponies, Cyborg Biker and 18 Other Things You Need to See Today

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 5:00 am

fourhorsies.jpg
Tenacious Toys

Apocalypse ponies! Batmobile stroller! The ferocious frilled shark! Choosing your own adventure on Twitter!

These and 16 more items you may have missed over the weekend are here to start your morning out right.

More >>

Bud Light's Pac-Man Superbowl Commercial...and Our Very Indirect Involvement

Friday, January 23, 2015 at 10:00 am

budlightpacmaze.jpg

Last night on The Tonight Show, Bud Light's new Superbowl ad premiered, featuring a life-sized playable Pac-Man maze, and I'm sure you're probably wondering why a beer company known for ads targeted at jocks and/or featuring horses suddenly got so nerdy. You might have assumed a cheap cash-in.

You might not have assumed that a Topless Robot alumnus was vaguely involved. It's Chris Ward, a Pac-Man superfan who famously owned a custom Pac-Man arcade game as old as he is for years, and also wrote our Krampus article that gets crazy traffic every Christmas season. Chris works for the company that worked WITH the company who created the ad: BBDO out of New York City. A 33 year-old "Mantern" there, it was a stretch for him to find any peripheral attachment, but now that he has, we are damn sure going to stretch and stress our peripheral attachment to him.

So no, this isn't Bud Light co-opting nerds. This is nerds co-opting Bud Light. YES IT IS. Check out the actual ad below. And Chris, if you're reading this - which I'm sure you are because you clued me in on this to begin with - see if you can get them to approve a Fan Fiction Friday theme next year.

More >>

Would Crashing Through a Wall Actually Kill the Kool-Aid Man?

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 1:00 pm

kollaidmansick.jpg

In trying to calculate the actual physics of a giant glass pitcher breaking through bricks, Vsauce's Jake has concluded that the wall would give way...but Kool-Aid Man would most likely die from blood loss in the process.

I say he is ignoring the obvious point that Kool-Aid Man is a T-1000. Red Kool-Aid is not his blood - it's his nanomite-filled nectar, designed to inculculate the courtship ritual of sharing drinks into young humans. Until one gives birth to Sarah Connor, at which point he'll morph into a glass stabby thing and kill her. ("Or mass-poison her and her family in Guyana..." NO. Stop right there. Jim Jones used Flavor-Aid. Get it right, bad nerds.)

Hey, it's no less logical than his existence to begin with. But you watch and decide.

More >>

Ask Luke's Mother in Law: Great Balls of Furry Lovin'

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 7:30 am

setbuild.jpg

In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert. All questions and answers are real.

Hey, well, here we are with another week under our belts. I watched the Oscar announcements from the lair in Joshua Tree, and will have to say I was disappointed that Best Director was an old boys' group. The director of Selma, Ava DuVernay, got totally snubbed. I mean, please, Selma got best picture - did it make itself?


More >>

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Cops, College and Snoring

Thursday, January 15, 2015 at 6:30 am

1501120002.JPG

In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert. All questions and answers are real.

Hi all. It has been busy since we last chatted. Thursday night I went to my first Citizen Patrol meeting. It was mostly to get to meet people and get the next part of the process going. I also got formally interviewed. Had both of the deputies laughing so I think it went well - I told them the story of when I first went out on patrol and we were wearing skirts and heels in the field, and how much "back up" we got when it came to going over walls (dirty minds click in here). These guys were too young to have ever witnessed this event. So, anyway, I took the next part of the paperwork home and turned it back in on Friday morning.

More >>

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: A Wish for Johnny Depp to Ditch the Whiteface

Thursday, January 8, 2015 at 6:30 am

occupymars.jpg

In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert. All questions and answers are real.

Hello and welcome to 2015, everyone. Here is to a great year. Here is one for all of you: I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO TEXT. Over the holiday, Julia finally convinced me to turn on John's Samsung G3 and ditch the flip phone. Then she taught me how to text. Now, this is something John loved to do. Not sure how he managed; his fingers were rather large. I have tiny hands and I can't hit the correct letters - so how he ever did it is anyone's guess. Well, I now know how to use a touch screen and to text, and I even figured out how to find an Internet connection away from home. Okay, you can now all get up off the ground, dust yourselves off and stop laughing. There are days I still long for paper and pencil. I have the old ATT endless data plan, so look out, world.

More >>

We Tried Reader-Created Nerdy Cocktails...and Have a Winner!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015 at 3:30 pm

ponyjar_cocktail.jpg

To win some Star Wars figures, I asked you all to submit New Year's nerdy cocktail ideas...ones that had to be actually drinkable. Not all of you followed that guideline.

But from those who did, I culled eleven of the best...and made them. Then a panel which included TR contributors Julia Thompson, Brian Hanson, Fred Topel, Bryce Abood and others tried them.

And I'm not just going to tell you who won. I'm going to make you watch the video so you can see our insta-reactions. If you want to be reminded of what's actually in the drinks, here's a link to the old comment thread.

More >>