Fast Food Review: KFC Sweet N' Spicy BBQ Bowl

Thursday, April 30, 2015 at 11:05 am


Okay. OKAY! The Kobayashi Maru of TR features is back. Yes, for every one of you who hits me up asking for more, I still get regular comments every time there's an unrelated article somebody hates like, "I'm done with this site. All fast-food bullshit and [whatever the above article was about]," never mind that I haven't done one of these in months.

Side note: it's always funny how the people who say they'll never read the site again are people I've never heard of before.

Mainly, though, I've been trying to save money on eating out. And my health by not eating total crap while sitting in front of a computer for hours on end. But I need to make sacrifices for you, my dear audience, and so I have once again.

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Tags: Fast Food, KFC

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Mexican Sushi

Thursday, April 23, 2015 at 6:30 am


Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Well, hi everyone...I'm back. Yep, mom and I took a little trip south of the border to Mexico again. It was for my 59th birthday. Her 90th is at the end of May so it was sort of a combo deal.

We went to our normal stop - the Melia in Puerto Vallarta. It is a great location, only a few minutes from the airport in the Marina district. From our balcony we could watch all of the ships going in and out of port.

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Panic and Self-Flagellation at Star Wars Celebration

Tuesday, April 21, 2015 at 6:30 am

A First-Person Tale of Lines, Lost Cars, Lines, Ian McDiarmid, Lines, Fanboy Crowds, French Fries, Lines, Star Wars and More Lines.


I started to curse myself right around the time I realized I had no idea where my car was. Yes, I roughly remembered where I came in that morning to Angel stadium, having been detoured way the hell out there by all the lot-crowding anywhere near the actual convention. But since I had arrived, it was like they'd switched things around, and the elderly parking attendants couldn't agree on where I would have been most likely to get directed at 9:30 a.m.

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Ben and Jerry's 4-20 Commercial for an Ice Cream Burrito Knows Exactly Who'd Buy Such a Thing

Monday, April 20, 2015 at 10:43 am


This isn't as coy as the Jack in the Box ads for Munchie Meals that the company will and won't say are for stoners - it just comes right out and says there's a reason they're releasing it on 4-20.

It's not realistic, though. I've yet to meet a stoner who would think, "This ice cream sandwich in my hand is mediocre. I better not stuff my face with it right now." And no stoner with any self-respect would be watching an endless ice cream ad if Animal Planet is available.

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Ben and Jerry's to Make Caramel Brownie Ice Cream Beer; Other Food No Longer Needed

Thursday, April 16, 2015 at 9:31 am


It's part of some kind of environmental awareness project collaboration between Ben and Jerry's and New Belgium Brewing (makers of Fat Tire Ale), but that's not the point. The point, clearly, is that you will soon be able to get drunk on a brewski that tastes like salted caramel brownie ice cream, which strikes me as the best political recruiting tool ever.

"Although our TTB filing for the beer is now public, specifics around the campaign are still in development," said New Belgium Director of Sustainability, Jenn Vervier. "At this time I can confirm that Ben & Jerry's and New Belgium are collaborating to raise awareness around issues we are passionate about, and that the results will be delicious."
Now, if you can find a way to put my daily dose of vitamins in there, I need never eat or drink anything else again.

Makers of "Bangkok Brothel"-Flavored Ice Cream Were Surprised It Upset People

Wednesday, April 15, 2015 at 11:25 am

Milk Cult

Jeez, and we thought Ben and Jerry's had terrible names for things. The damnedest thing is that a spicy coconut-lemon ice cream sounds really good. Just not when you name it after a place westerners go to have sex with underage boy-slaves.

The company comments:

When we originally thought about the name we didn't want to avoid using a word like "brothel" just because some people in the community would be afraid to have a conversation about what that means. Moreover, neither of us considered it a slur. But, after speaking with some members of the community about the name, we realized that trying to use the "taboo" technique without providing the appropriate context provides disinformation and is irresponsible.
Meanwhile, the company's official website boasts the slogan: "Ice cream is people...Creepy, creepy, people ice cream."

Just for fun - what should they call their next "conversation-starter" of a flavor? And what would it taste like?

via DCist

Hustler Wants You to Stop Having Sex With Vegetables

Monday, April 13, 2015 at 11:00 am


I saw a billboard featuring this ad campaign yesterday, and was tempted to rather stupidly try and snap a pic while driving (I did not, but I was briefly tempted). It seems the Hustler store in Hollywood (soon to be demolished, BTW) is now operating as a corporate propaganda tool in the pocket of Big Latex, and is determined to distract you from the cheaper options available at the local Kroger.

Or maybe it truly is about morality and decency towards our plant-based pals. Watch their campaign ad and you decide.

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The Best 9-Second Homer Simpson Impression You'll See Today (or Maybe Ever)

Thursday, April 2, 2015 at 2:44 pm


It's not about the appearance so much - a TRULY committed impersonator would have shaved his head, even for 9 seconds, obviously. It's about the choreography, the timing and the set-dressing, which captures the Simpsons patriarch's pre-game ritual perfectly.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go do my own imitation of this scene. Not for any cameras, mind you, but to fill the inner hole of insecurity with an artery blocking plug of junk food. It totally works, right?

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A Japanese Whiskey Company Made Some Amazingly Nerdy Sculpted Ice Cubes

Thursday, April 2, 2015 at 10:50 am


Using a process that's a bit like reverse 3D-printing - subtractive carving based on a digital file rather than additive layering - Suntory whiskey has been promoting its booze with mini-masterpieces of ice art in glasses of its beverage, from Jaws to Mario and Batman. They're also holding a contest featuring user submissions.

You can see a video of the process below, but be sure to check out all the cool sculpts they already have - either in still photos, or 3D Flash-animated full rotations.

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Stupid Real-Estate Questions and Yam Soup

Thursday, April 2, 2015 at 6:30 am


Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hey Earthlings, and those of you who are just stuck here for the time being:

Okay, here is my soapbox for this week. Well maybe not a soapbox but this totally falls under "how stupid can they really be?" As most of you know, I am a real estate appraiser, and I got a couple of real doozies of requests/questions this last week.

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