Weekstarter: Doctor Who Xmas Clip, Religious Vader, Skeletor Sells Hondas, Weird Al and More

Monday, November 17, 2014 at 6:00 am


It's Monday! And you may be miserable, but we've rounded up a whole bunch of stuff - 15 items in all - from the Weekend Open Thread to make you smile and grimace, compiled with the aid of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include troi, Dredder, Gallen_Dugall, skrag2112, Anyone00, SlyDante777, GhostRacer21.

More >>

Mountain Dew Is Apparently Testing a Doritos-Flavored Soda

Friday, November 7, 2014 at 8:00 am


The image above lit up Twitter and Reddit overnight, purportedly coming from a testing event held at Kent State University (which has a pre-existing relationship with Pepsi and Mountain Dew). The original poster, "joes_nipples," answered a lot of questions about the product named "DEWitos," most notably...

It honestly wasn't that disgusting. It tasted like orange with a doritos after taste. It tasted like straight doritos afterwards though. Weirdest thing I've ever drunken.
He added that lemon-ginger, mango-habanero and rainbow sherbet were among other flavors they were testing.

This isn't the first crossover: Doritos had a "mystery flavor" a while back that was meant to be Mountain Dew, and of course both are staples of Taco Bell. If this new synergy takes off, it won't matter if the Dew destroys all your teeth - you can still "enjoy" Doritos. You can also consume both Doritos and Dew without ever taking your hands off a game controller - or your private parts. Word of warning, though: when you get to the Mountain Dew flavor that tastes like a blueberry pie dessert, leave that one be. The Wonka factory hasn't gotten it quite right yet.

Gimme a holler when they start testing "Mountain Dew Intravenous." It'll happen in our lifetimes.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Did an Actual Carls Jr./Hardee's Commercial, and It's Disgustingly Amazing

Thursday, November 6, 2014 at 1:00 pm


Carls' "tongue-in-cheek sexist" ads that feature models eating burgers they'd never actually touch without a huge paycheck involved always sat along that dubious line of being what they were spoofing. So how to prove that you genuinely believe in self-parody? Shoot a similar ad with Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Mercifully, it does not show him eating his neighbors.

Unmercifully, well...just look at that image above.

It is indeed from the official Carl's Jr Youtube. Can't imagine it makes anyone hungry, but you never know...

More >>

Our Adventures at the First-Ever Hello Kitty Con

Friday, October 31, 2014 at 1:10 pm


"Hello, Kitty. I want to play a game..."

For those who haven't been following along on Twitter, I've spent the last two days at Hello Kitty Con, which was every bit as strange as one might expect. Unlike at Comic-Con, the press preview night was strictly for press, and gave attendees space to walk around and shop with ease. Like Comic-Con, the next day was utterly insane, with lines that went on forever and Internet/phones getting their signals choked out.

What strikes me as unusual about Hello Kitty - which may be more common for girl toys, such as Barbie - is that even though there are comics, cartoons and such, her strength lies in being a bit of a blank slate for people to project whatever they wish onto her. Nobody at the Con, for example, would have an argument over what Hello Kitty would or would not do, because she can do anything you want. Except NOT sell endless reams of expensive, exclusive merchandise.

I put together a featurette for your entertainment...

More >>

Fast Food Review: Jack in the Box Chick-N-Tater Melt Munchie Meal

Thursday, October 30, 2014 at 5:30 pm


It's part of their line of "totally not for stoners, except when we admit that they are" line of late-night Munchie Meals (fun fact: after I got a marketing guy to basically admit it on camera, he emailed me later and asked if I could please re-edit the video to remove it. I asked our corporate lawyer and he said I don't have to). The Chick-N-Tater Melt sandwich replaces the breakfast-themed burger and the exploding cheesy chicken on the after-9 p.m. lineup, and I'd love to tell you it's for the better. But will I?

More >>

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law - Disney Parades and Halloween Cats

Thursday, October 30, 2014 at 8:00 am


Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. But be nice. Being nuts is okay, though. We're all mad here.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite holidays. Well, last weekend I went to the Anaheim Halloween Parade. It has been going on forever. I remember going to the parade when I was little - we used to go to my Uncle Bill's furniture store on Anaheim Blvd and watch the parade. He was the mayor of Anaheim for several years. No, Mickey Mouse is not the mayor; however, there have been times when that seemed the case. Anyway I included 2 pictures taken at the parade. They did not come out really well - but it was the best I could get with my camera and they were moving pretty fast. One of the pictures is Andy Anaheim done by the Historical Society and the other is Rocket Witch. The parade was nice, but not as good as in other years. The only Anaheim Unified HS band that showed this year was Anaheim HS. We have 10+ high schools in Anaheim and only 1 showed - really?????.

More >>

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Apocalypse? Nahhh...

Thursday, October 23, 2014 at 8:00 am


Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. But be nice. Being nuts is okay, though.

Hey all - last week was busy with 2 movies to attend. As you know last Thursday was the second film in the Joshua Tree International Film Fest. We saw the documentary Skanks, which followed the play Skanks in a One-Horse Town by Billy Ray Brewton. Mr. Brewton was to be in attendance - but alas he was ill and was unable to attend, and the film got a bit of a late start as the copy that was sent for viewing did not work. But Q came to the rescue and rented it on Amazon. So if you want to see it go to Amazon; if you are a theatre geek you will understand what is going on. If not, you will be a bit bored. Some of the editing is sloppy, but that's ok. Anyway I love small community theatre and thus I found the documentary enjoyable. I have been involved over the last 20 years with long nights of rehearsal, opening night jitters and then the sound of audience approval - such fun. It has been about 5 yrs since I have been on stage and I am thinking about jumping back in in 2015. Looking at The Mystery of Edwin Drood and The Addams Family Musical.

Anyway the next show is on November 20 and will be the Road to Paloma starring, get this, drum roll...starring Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet. I understand Mr. Momoa is going to be in some upcoming super hero movie. Hmmmmmm. Hopefully he will be available for an interview. Fingers crossed, jumping up and down etc.

More >>

I READ YOUR FANFIC! America Molested by McDonald's Happy Meals, Part 2

Friday, October 17, 2014 at 1:00 pm


If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "America Goes To McDonald's And Never Comes Back (Part 2 of 2)" by Konata101

Logline: "America," a nation embodied herein by an overweight man with glasses named Alfred, investigates an empty McDonald's. Or so he thinks. It's full of evil, homicidal Happy Meals who proceed to have their way with him. So far, they've force fed him a cardboard box filled with fries. As we begin, he is being double-penetrated from the rear. Yeah. It gets bad.

Acts Involved: Anal rape, double-penetration, force-feeding, oral sex, anal leakage, defecation fetish, male lactation, cramming, male-impregnation, alien-style chestbursting live birth.

Participants: America, the McDonald's Happy Meal creatures.

The Live Reading/Performance...

More >>

New Disney Short "Feast" Is Going to Make All You Pet Owners Cry. Just Give in Now.

Friday, October 17, 2014 at 10:00 am


Look at the puppy. Look at the owner feeding him a french fry.

Look at the puppy eat more food.

Look at time go by, as the puppy gets bigger and starts eating nachos and spaghetti 'n stuff.

And ask yourself...is there any goddamn doubt this won't end with an old and feeble dog licking up the last drops of melted ice cream from a wrinkly hand, or some shit like that?

Maybe. But I don't see how. The short will premiere in full in front of Big Hero 6, and I suggest watching the clip below to get yourself prepared. Not that it'll work.

More >>

Ex-Mythbuster Hired by McDonald's, Now Busting Myths in Their Favor

Wednesday, October 15, 2014 at 1:15 pm


Yes, that's recently downsized Mythbusters star Grant Imahara in a McDonald's-funded video, proving to the world that the company doesn't use "pink slime" or eyeballs in their hamburgers. And you know it's legit because McDonald's would never lie, or cut corners to maximize profits.

Seriously, let's just assume Imahara is absolutely on the level, as we have no reason not to based on his track record. Do we really think that if he found bad stuff, McDonald's would put it in their videos?

Can we get the other Mythbusters to test the veracity of this myth-busting?

More >>