The Wankband - New Device Uses Masturbation to Power Your Phone

Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 12:20 pm


Ladies and gentlemen, behold possibly the most brilliant use of renewable energy ever. Just think of how much friction we all waste every day, that could be put to use powering the devices that allow us to find the material that causes us to generate the friction in the first place.

The Wankband, which resembles a fitness tracker, uses a small kinetic charger built into the band to generate and store electricity created by motion -- specifically, the motion that is usually done while watching porn. To encourage users to save energy by using their Wankbands, Pornhub is creating a "Wanking Warriors program" that offers special rewards.
There's a helpful (and surprisingly SFW) video that explains more...

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Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Robear, the Robot Teddy Bear Nurse

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 10:45 am


...or, as they say in Japan, "High-performance robot to perform the heavy lifting while contact soft with people" (really, they do).

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Winston Churchill's Blood Is up for Sale, so Let's Get Cloning!

Monday, February 23, 2015 at 12:00 pm


How many times have you thought to yourself, "Today's world leaders are terrible. If only we could clone somebody great like Winston Churchill"?

Well, now's your chance.

A phial containing traces of Churchill's blood, drawn from the former prime minister as he recovered in hospital from a fractured hip, is being offered for sale to the highest bidder. Churchill was treated in the Middlesex hospital in London in 1962 at the age of 87 after breaking his hip while in Monte Carlo. It was feared that he would not survive but he soldiered on until the age of 90.
Dude was an overweight smoker and drinker who lived to be 90. Even if we can only clone his liver, lungs and heart, it'd be worth it.

If the sample's not clean enough, fill in the gaps with frog DNA. That works, right?

Tomatan, a Japanese Robot That Sits on Your Shoulders Feeding You Tomatoes

Thursday, February 19, 2015 at 11:35 am

askanews on YouTube

What is it with Japanese marathons and weird food devices? Yesterday, we had the wearable banana. Today, we have the smiley-faced robot that stuffs tomatoes in your mouth.

The Tomatan looks like a small humanoid robot -- with a tomato for a head -- and sits snugly on the athlete's shoulders.

Tugging a tiny lever in the foot moves the arms to catch a tomato from the dispensing shoot. The arms then rotate the fruit over the runner's head and hold it in front of his mouth.

"Tomatoes have lots of nutrition that combats fatigue," said Shigenori Suzuki of Kagome, which makes the contraption.
Also rumored to combat fatigue: not having an eight-kilogram robot full of tomatoes on your shoulders when you run.

Given that this is Japan, I expect somebody to modify this into a robot that holds used panties in front of your face, any minute now.

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Hide Your Booze Inside American Sniper-ish Fake Baby

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 12:00 pm


An expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby. Drinking in public is now adorable.
American Sniper takes a lot of crap for the scene in which Bradley Cooper holds an obviously fake baby as if it's his real kid, but what if there was a good reason? Could it have concealed a flask of vodka to ease his nerves?

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Dole Has Created the "Wearable Banana" With LED Peel (Yes, You Can Eat It Too)

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 11:00 am


You know what I always hated about bananas? That you can't wear them.

And you know what sucks most about running? Not having a banana while you do it.

Thank GOD Dole has remedied those terrible problems. For the Tokyo marathon, two runners will have "Wearable Bananas" strapped to them that will monitor their speed, distance and heart rate, and display it on the peel in real time. Then, when the race is done, the banana gets eaten.

I wonder if adding value to the peel this way is meant to dissuade runners from tossing it under the feet of their toughest competition. There are a lot of things I wonder about the whole concept, in fact.

But a wearable banana exists now. And nothing will ever be the same again.

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Here Are All Our Toy Fair Gallery Links in One Place

Monday, February 16, 2015 at 9:14 am


Whether you've been following us on Twitter or just read this morning's Best-of list, chances are there are a whole lot of new toy reveals you haven't seen. Luckily for you, we have galleries of every picture Jim took at the show, grouped by company. So if you missed out on any of the following, just click and see.

Keep in mind not every picture is a masterpiece, and one man can't get everything. Our goal was to grab as many as possible rather than to nail all-too-few perfect shots.

All companies we covered are listed alphabetically, after the jump....

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Behold Spot, the Robot Dog Who's Not Just for Kicks

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 10:30 am


See Spot.

See Spot is a robot with no head. See Spot walk. See Spot run. See Spot climb stairs.

See Spot...get kicked?

Okay, yeah, it's a test to see if Spot can restabilize after getting its equilibrium forcibly adjusted, but still - kick a dog enough times and he'll bite you. Kick a robot dog enough times, your ass might be terminated one day. For now, presumably, they still have off-switches.

Spot is a four-legged robot designed for indoor and outdoor operation. It is electrically powered and hydraulically actuated. Spot has a sensor head that helps it navigate and negotiate rough terrain. Spot weighs about 160 lbs.
That's a head? Okay, so it just doesn't have a neck then.

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Weekstarter: Oculus Rift Porn, Monstrous Births, Rhino vs. Buffalo and More

Monday, February 9, 2015 at 5:00 am


Ancient sex trips for monsters, a temple to the "real" Thor, Oculus Rift porn and a few other stories you may have missed over the weekend are collected below for your enjoyment, compiled with an assist from Kyle LeClair.

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Poison Starfish vs. Reef Crabs

Thursday, February 5, 2015 at 1:59 pm


It's like the SpongeBob movie, just with a lot more ecological destruction and annoying pinching. Begun, these Sea Star Wars have.

Today, the coral reefs...tomorrow, your inflamed, impaled foot. Or a bucket of crabs.

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