The above is not an actual quote. The actual quote is longer, and also doesn't say, "Gosh, we had no idea Sony would one-up us by not including the features guaranteed to annoy everybody." But yeah, Xbox One no longer has to stay connected to the Internet any more except for a one-time set-up, and you will be able to play used games on it the same way you do now on 360.

You told us how much you loved the flexibility you have today with games delivered on disc. The ability to lend, share, and resell these games at your discretion is of incredible importance to you. Also important to you is the freedom to play offline, for any length of time, anywhere in the world.

Paraphrasing Norm McDonald, this knowledge and more has been available for years in the scientific journal Duh!

So where's the part where you say, "We understand also that you don't like to pay $100 more for things when you can get similar things cheaper?" I guess that issue of Duh was sold out.

Now that Microsoft has listened to the consumers for once - does this change your decision on buying their new console?

h/t SlyDante

Duh image credit: The SNL Archives

Not every project at the recent Red Bull Creation Challenge made it into the spotlight, sometimes with good reason. The company undoubtedly wants to reward good ideas. Here on the Internet, though, we get way more mileage out of the bad, especially when it feels like something that gets us one step closer to Futurama actually happening. And so it is with the concept of a robot designed to "overheat, go crazy and urinate everywhere." Funnily enough, that's what I do whenever I drink Red Bull, so it makes perfect sense.

Sadly, there is no video yet of him in action. But you can get a sneak peek at his creation at Hack A Day, and in the video after the jump...

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Sorry it doesn't resemble these, but at least you don't suck like these Starbuck and Apollo knockoffs either, so you deserve better.

It actually looks too wide for a road, with its VTOL propellers. But on your own property it could be fun indeed, and unless you can capture a botanically minded extra-terrestrial using Reese's Pieces, there aren't any simpler ways to reliably levitate your two-wheeled conveyance.

via One Cool Thing a Day

Regular_Stormy

Yesterday's highlight was a surprise free concert by Snoop Dogg to promote the cartoon snail movie Turbo. I think the female DJ from Power 106 who kept trying to urge the crowd to "make some noise!" was more used to hardcore hip-hop fans than exhausted, half-drunk gaming journalists sweating in the direct sunlight, but once Snoop hit the stage, he brought the energy level up, big-time, which you wouldn't necessarily have expected from a guy famous for smoking weed and a laid-back delivery. He was brief, but brought his A-game for sure. And there were free tacos.

Snoop was introduced by his costars in the movie, Michael Pena and Michelle Rodriguez.

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When nerds took revenge back in the mid-'80s, we should have figured there'd be a counter-attack. But who knew it would be from our favorite hive-minded insects?

A new strain known as "crazy ants" are attracted to electronics, and before getting fried by the object of their desire, tend to send a signal to their homies. Before too long, your computer is ruined by being full of dead ants. And unless you're singing the Pink Panther theme, a dead ant is not as cool as you'd think it would be.

On the plus side, they're displacing the stingier fire ants. On the downside, your computer may be full of them right now.

Check the video after the jump to protect yourself. But if it doesn't load immediately...

...don't get antsy.

YEEEEEEEEAHHHHHH!

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Perhaps my word choice is judgmental, but I can't think of any other way to describe this:

Just take that in for a second.

Breathe a sigh of relief that it's only 60 centimeters high, and not life-size.

Know that this doll will "include touch, ultrasound, visual, acoustic and location sensors." Says the creator, "Many folks think that these dolls are creepy. I personally think that folks giving up on their hobbies and interests just because of what others think is way more creepy." I think Ed Gein said something similar once.

Underneath the bow, the nipples are anatomically correct. Why he didn't go all the way in other areas, I'm not sure. Oh, also she will notify you of Facebook and Twitter updates, because every man's fantasy is to have a woman who incessantly does that.

I looked at the original post so you don't have to. But if you'd like to see a whole lot more images of the doll fully nude, well, you have the right to make that choice.

I know there's another Child's Play sequel in the works, but I say go for a reboot with this thing. Chucky's an adorable baby by comparison.

h/t Adam MacGregor

I don't think there was ever a time when games weren't big business. They always have been, but what seems to have changed recently is the theater of it all. Once a year, everyone from Reggie to that guy from those PlayStation commercials has to get on stage like Iron Man at a science fair and show off their new toy. They pick it up and tell us how much better it is that the last one, then they have fake families come on and pretend to play and show us how happy we will be once we buy the toy. Finally, after a brief appearance from Usher, the Internet analyzes everything to death, divining the future of gaming from an hourlong press conference. It's bizarre.

But what are we going to do? Between the musical numbers and the celebrity guests stands some real insight into the future of gaming. E3, or the Electronic Entertainment Expo, is where we find out a lot of good information and get a number of answers to important questions. For that reason, we have created The Top Eight Gaming Questions We Need Answered at E3. Be warned, gaming companies: if E3 fails to answer these questions, we will speculate rampantly until we all swear off of whatever product you haven't told us anything about. Tread carefully.

And as always, speculate rampantly in the comments section before these questions are answered. It is fun. Now, without further ado...

8. What does the PlayStation 4 look like?

So apparently everyone gets their own mini-E3 now. The trend seems dumb, especially since none of them made people excited about their console as much as they left people with too many questions and too much time on their hands to argue. Sony showed a handful of games, and even the new controller, but they didn't show us the actual PS4. It almost seemed like Sony executive Jan Brady had made the console up to compete with Marcia-rosoft but since the console didn't actually exist, she showed us some vague things it did and some of its accessories but then, would you look at that? We were out of time and we didn't even meet PS4. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Sony did release some pictures of pieces of the PS4, for some reason. The Internet put a few mock-ups together and one of them is probably pretty close. Sony is sending out emails with a picture of a sheet over a box, so it's pretty safe to say the PS4 will be shown at E3 and it will be some kind of box thing. I don't think anybody really cares about the shape because all of the attention has been directed at Microsoft recently (we'll get to it) but that doesn't mean that PS4 shouldn't matter. It is like that nice guy who did everything right, except maybe share too much, but gets no attention because of the bad boy doing donuts in the parking lot.

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Brazilian hospitals don't just come up with giant, friendly nutsack mascots - they have good ideas too. One of which has been to pair with Warner Bros. to make kids with cancer think their chemotherapy drugs are a superhero formula. Branding the IV bags with the Bat-symbol, S-shield, Green Lantern and Wonder Wings, they also hand out special comics in which the heroes themselves face cancer-like symptoms, take a formula from a similar bag, and regain their powers. It's a bit like how I learned to eat spinach because it made Popeye stronger, but with larger stakes. Probably more nausea, too.

If you tried this on adults, I think they'd say, "Nah, just gimme a weed card."

h/t Laraneia

Every once in a while, I'll find a story that isn't super new, but that neither we nor any other site I've seen has covered. This is a new feature.

Gizmag

I'm assuming I don't have to explain the references here. But I'd also guess you're saying to yourself, "Self, how could a robotic exoskeleton named after a famously homicidal computer and made by a company named after fictional evil cyborgs who nuked the world be any more tone-deaf?"

It was inspired by the Fukushima meltdown. Good thoughts went into the actual invention: heavy lifting power, vital signs monitoring, and some radiation shielding. But when you're making radiation suits, is sounding like the guys who created a fake nuclear war a good idea?

I'd be back...to the drawing board. Because it's like having a safety inspection company called "Homer Simpson and Son."

The flavor infusion thing may be going too far. Colgate-Palmolive is looking to create "An oral care implement includes a releasable sensory material that invokes a sensory response when in contact with tissues or surfaces of a mouth of a user."

It gets better when their definition gets more specific:

An oral care implement comprising:

a handle and a head;

a releasable sensory material that invokes a sensory response in an oral cavity during use; and

an elastomeric element comprising a shape that is visually representative of the sensory response.

So, basically, a penis then. (Why be coy about my punchline?)

Actually, what they're talking about is toothbrushes that could release flavors, stimulants like caffeine, or even medications. Because brushing for thirty minutes is so much easier than taking a pill, or drinking coffee? It seems to me this works best as a potential prank, or a way to trick your kids into taking medicine.

I figure the Walter Whites of the world might have some other thoughts, too...

h/t Gallen_Dugall