Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Anime Hug Pillow Tells You How Much She Loves Your Boob-Grabbing

Monday, March 2, 2015 at 8:00 am

hugpillowgrope.jpg

If you're already coming here, I assume you know about full-body pillows featuring anime characters and others that the purchaser presumably wants to imagine sleeping with.

Got that concept in your head? Okay, good, because the next step is here - one that verbally expresses pleasure when you fondle her breasts. Did I say "good"? I meant "Ewww."

There's a catch - be too rough with her and her love-meter will descend into hate. And presumably then be purchased only by horrible people who enjoy ignoring consent. Better with a pillow than a person, certainly, but still...if you favor interaction with different possible outcomes, there's this great game I can suggest to you. It's called "non-creepily relating to human beings." Difficulty level is super hard at times, I know, but the rewards you can earn are worth it.

More >>

Yes, Avatar Land Is Still Happening for Disney in Florida [VIDEO]

Friday, February 27, 2015 at 9:00 am

avatarworld_mts.jpg

It's not due to happen in full until 2017, but Disney just released a short video showing concept art for the floating mountains (above), bio-luminescent footprints, and various Pandora plants being approved by James Cameron, who is undoubtedly stunned that a theme park is effectively making a sequel before he can get around to it.

I'm still wondering if they'll have naked Na'vi cosplayers, but unsurprisingly, the video doesn't address that.

More >>

PODCAST: The X-Files' Dean Haglund and Filmmaker Phil Leirness

Friday, February 27, 2015 at 8:00 am

chillpak_podcast.jpg

On this week's Topless Robot Live!, we get Lone Gunman Dean Haglund to read erotic fan fiction about himself aloud. We also discuss the Oscars, trigger warnings, how to deal with haters, Dean's contrarian take on Disneyland, Phil's definition of "fictional documentary" versus "Mock-Doc," what's next for The X-Files, Dan Aykroyd's delusions and more! Phil and Dean host the Chillpak Hollywood Hour every week, and have had me on as a guest many times - I'm delighted to return the favor.

The embeddable version is below. It is also currently available on iTunes, which is another great reason to subscribe - I don't always know when the podcast will go live (it's out of my hands at a certain point) and iTunes subscribers will get it first.

I don't know yet who the next guest will be - there are several possibilities - but if you have questions for me and Julia that you'd like answered on the next one, post them below. Also, if we need to adjust the sound mix, or you have any other feedback on how to make this better - we're listening. Let us know if Julia's still too loud in the mix.

More >>

The Wankband - New Device Uses Masturbation to Power Your Phone

Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 12:20 pm

wankband.jpg

Ladies and gentlemen, behold possibly the most brilliant use of renewable energy ever. Just think of how much friction we all waste every day, that could be put to use powering the devices that allow us to find the material that causes us to generate the friction in the first place.

The Wankband, which resembles a fitness tracker, uses a small kinetic charger built into the band to generate and store electricity created by motion -- specifically, the motion that is usually done while watching porn. To encourage users to save energy by using their Wankbands, Pornhub is creating a "Wanking Warriors program" that offers special rewards.
There's a helpful (and surprisingly SFW) video that explains more...

More >>

Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Robear, the Robot Teddy Bear Nurse

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 10:45 am

robear.jpg

...or, as they say in Japan, "High-performance robot to perform the heavy lifting while contact soft with people" (really, they do).

More >>

Winston Churchill's Blood Is up for Sale, so Let's Get Cloning!

Monday, February 23, 2015 at 12:00 pm

jurassic_churchill.jpg

How many times have you thought to yourself, "Today's world leaders are terrible. If only we could clone somebody great like Winston Churchill"?

Well, now's your chance.

A phial containing traces of Churchill's blood, drawn from the former prime minister as he recovered in hospital from a fractured hip, is being offered for sale to the highest bidder. Churchill was treated in the Middlesex hospital in London in 1962 at the age of 87 after breaking his hip while in Monte Carlo. It was feared that he would not survive but he soldiered on until the age of 90.
Dude was an overweight smoker and drinker who lived to be 90. Even if we can only clone his liver, lungs and heart, it'd be worth it.

If the sample's not clean enough, fill in the gaps with frog DNA. That works, right?

Tomatan, a Japanese Robot That Sits on Your Shoulders Feeding You Tomatoes

Thursday, February 19, 2015 at 11:35 am

tomatan.jpg
askanews on YouTube

What is it with Japanese marathons and weird food devices? Yesterday, we had the wearable banana. Today, we have the smiley-faced robot that stuffs tomatoes in your mouth.

The Tomatan looks like a small humanoid robot -- with a tomato for a head -- and sits snugly on the athlete's shoulders.

Tugging a tiny lever in the foot moves the arms to catch a tomato from the dispensing shoot. The arms then rotate the fruit over the runner's head and hold it in front of his mouth.

And...
"Tomatoes have lots of nutrition that combats fatigue," said Shigenori Suzuki of Kagome, which makes the contraption.
Also rumored to combat fatigue: not having an eight-kilogram robot full of tomatoes on your shoulders when you run.

Given that this is Japan, I expect somebody to modify this into a robot that holds used panties in front of your face, any minute now.

More >>

Hide Your Booze Inside American Sniper-ish Fake Baby

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 12:00 pm

coolbaby.jpg

An expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby. Drinking in public is now adorable.
American Sniper takes a lot of crap for the scene in which Bradley Cooper holds an obviously fake baby as if it's his real kid, but what if there was a good reason? Could it have concealed a flask of vodka to ease his nerves?


More >>

Dole Has Created the "Wearable Banana" With LED Peel (Yes, You Can Eat It Too)

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 11:00 am

wearablebanana.jpg

You know what I always hated about bananas? That you can't wear them.

And you know what sucks most about running? Not having a banana while you do it.

Thank GOD Dole has remedied those terrible problems. For the Tokyo marathon, two runners will have "Wearable Bananas" strapped to them that will monitor their speed, distance and heart rate, and display it on the peel in real time. Then, when the race is done, the banana gets eaten.

I wonder if adding value to the peel this way is meant to dissuade runners from tossing it under the feet of their toughest competition. There are a lot of things I wonder about the whole concept, in fact.

But a wearable banana exists now. And nothing will ever be the same again.

More >>

Here Are All Our Toy Fair Gallery Links in One Place

Monday, February 16, 2015 at 9:14 am

nippleoprison-2.jpg

Whether you've been following us on Twitter or just read this morning's Best-of list, chances are there are a whole lot of new toy reveals you haven't seen. Luckily for you, we have galleries of every picture Jim took at the show, grouped by company. So if you missed out on any of the following, just click and see.

Keep in mind not every picture is a masterpiece, and one man can't get everything. Our goal was to grab as many as possible rather than to nail all-too-few perfect shots.

All companies we covered are listed alphabetically, after the jump....


More >>