The Three-Boobed Hooker From Total Recall Is No Longer Pure Fiction

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 1:53 pm

Jasmine Tridevil

The only part that's still fiction is the hooker part - the appropriately named Jasmine Tridevil, who had a third breast surgically created, has a different goal in mind that involves selling herself for money: reality TV.

In case you were wondering, the third areola is a tattoo. And Jasmine does not understand men at all.

"I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don't want to date anymore," she said.
In the real world, I fully expect to hear of a guy who surgically added an extra hand just for her.

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17 Things You May Have Missed This Weekend, From KFC Keyboards to Hamster Hot-Dogging

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 6:00 am


A 16-disc set of Matt Smith's Doctor Who tenure is coming - and that's but one thing that came up in conversation over the course of the weekend thread. Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair, here are some of the other stories you might have missed.

Tipsters this week included Gallen_Dugall, SlyDante777, Anyone00, troi, Rx79Immigrant84, Citrus_King

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Revoltech Darth Vader Welcomes the Weekend Open Thread

Friday, September 19, 2014 at 7:29 pm


We probably didn't need yet another company to make Darth Vader, but it happened anyway. A few more things before everyone chips in...

-James Deen is presumably Dick Reckard in this NSFW Blade Runner porn pictorial.

-Bill Nye endorses this time-travel documentary Kickstarter.

-GWAR replaced Oderus Urungus with a woman named Vulvatron.

-David Ayer may do a Suicide Squad movie.

-Laser cannons on planes are already a thing.

-A Top Cat origin movie isn't the movie you need, but the prequel Mexico deserves.

-An L. Frank Baum biopic? Word to the wise - he's a little harder to whitewash than Disney in Saving Mr. Banks.

-Game of Thrones theme, '80s synth-style version, is the best thing today.

Weekend Hangover: From Sharknado 3 to Running Jetpacks, 17 Stories You May Have Missed

Monday, September 15, 2014 at 6:00 am


Yes, Yondu is now in Disney Infinity, and even though they've stylized the design and probably don't have to pay for Michael Rooker's likeness, it's clearly the MIchael Rooker version. Which means that Henry Lee Lucas can run wild in your personal Disney World.

Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair, here are 16 more reader-submitted items from over the weekend that you may have missed. Tipsters include skrag2112, SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, Rx79immigrant84, NOT.DrAbraxas, Anyone00

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7 Ways Apple Is Becoming Nintendo (For Better or Worse)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 at 6:00 am


Full disclosure: I've owned an iPhone since the smartphone launched back in 2007. I've jumped from the first generation hardware, to the 3G, to the 4, to the 5. And with each upgrade, I've gone from the kind of wide-eyed fascination with a shiny new piece of hardware to a resigned shrug with all fucks fully exhausted at this point as Cupertino does its annual hardware shuffle, rolling out its latest and "eh"-est to increasingly muted enthusiasm (by yours truly, at least - Apple's making money hand over fist, so someone is still in love with the damned thing).

As Apple rolled out their two iPhone models yesterday, I reached a queasy realization: I have the same relationship with Apple that I've had with Nintendo since... well, almost 2007. From the highs of a new hardware announcement to the sinking feeling that either I've outgrown their products, or this company has stopped growing in any discernible and interesting way.

Read on as I try to make the case that the Apple Watch is just this generation's Virtual Boy...

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Apple to Create Giant Watch That Will Pay for Leaked Celebrity Nudes, or Something

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 at 11:43 am


I'm still proud to say I have a camera that isn't connected to the Internet, unless I choose it to be. Now you're going to persuade me that a hackable watch is something I need too?

Apparently. Apple today unveiled the new iPhone 6, which is basically bigger, more powerful, etc. Then, the iWatch, which monitors your vital signs along with doing a lot of the shit your smartphone can, plus, y'know, being a watch. (My main criteria for a watch: that it tells time and is waterproof and shockproof, which I'm thinking this probably isn't)

Oh, and a feature called ApplePay, which is designed to replace your wallet and allow you to pay for stuff by tapping your Apple phone - they say they won't track your purchases at all, and yet there will be loyalty/reward programs to encourage the switch.

Internet's somehow going to get even worse at next year's Comic-Con, isn't it?

Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Hello Kitty Crotchless Panties for Your Phone

Friday, September 5, 2014 at 11:30 am


I think somebody tried to explain the concept of "phone sex" to the Japanese, and they got confused. Or maybe the phrase "Hello Pussy" was mistranslated.

Either way, your phone just gained the ability to get a lot more slutty. And you thought setting it to "vibrate" was suggestive.

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Germany's Radioactive Boar Problem

Wednesday, September 3, 2014 at 5:30 pm

Original, non-nuculer colored photo by Smithsonian Wild

Do you like glowing green eggs and ham? It ought to be a Michael Bay produced movie, in which a tusked pig learns martial arts. Instead, it's a real issue for Germans who like to eat wild pig, which is to say: Germans. Radiation from Chernobyl is still concentrated in truffles and other mushrooms that soak up the toxic stuff, but wild boars don't know or care about that, nor do they conveniently drop dead from it. Rather, they just run around being all radioactive and stuff, which is all fun and games until they bite a hapless teenager who just wants to be noticed, and happens to be great at making tusk-shooters.

According to the UK Telegraph, you can expect nuclear wild pigs for 50 more years. By which time I just assume we'll get this:

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Pepper the Robot On-Sale in the U.S. Next Year

Tuesday, September 2, 2014 at 11:33 am


"Heez goal iz to make you better...feel better." Freudian slip?

Pepper the Robot is coming to Sprint stores next year, probably for just under two grand. Inspired by the idea of Astro Boy, Pepper dances, makes jokes, estimates human emotions based on expressions, and tries to connect you to friends if you're feeling depressed. Pepper also presumably stares blankly into nothingness when turned off - sorry, but I'm suspicious of anything that looks like this:


Check out some video of Pepper that is totally in no way creepy...

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7 Hilarious U.S. Rip-Offs at England's Drayton Manor Theme Park

Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 6:00 am


One of the ways to lure my wife to England for a vacation was the promise of seeing the Harry Potter studio tour outside of London. The other was Thomas the Tank Engine Land, which is a small corner of the larger theme park called Drayton Manor. Thematically, the larger park is a bit disjointed - it wants to have something for everyone, and thus there's no overarching theme. You have the Thomas rides for kids, from which adults without accompanying minors are actually banned; a small zoo tucked away from everything else that mostly seems to have emus; various high-intensity thrill rides, various not-so-thrilling rides, and rather disappointing food stands.

One thing that is clear is that whoever designed the park based parts of it on popular American theme parks...apparently without entirely understanding why. If Disneyland and Universal Studios are Superman, Drayton at times feels like Bizarro's cube-world...or an Axel Braun porn parody without any naked people. Here are its strangest interpretations of American attractions...

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