Hobbit Hole, Meet Cat's Butthole

Monday, December 15, 2014 at 2:29 pm


In the kitty litter box, in the land of the Shire, lives a brave little Hobbit in a stench so dire. The cat took a shit, in his Hobbit hole; 'twas something encouraged, and now he knows his role...

BILBO! Bilbo Baggins. His home's a toilet now...
BILBO! Bilbo Baggins. His least favorite sound is now "Meow."

And that's how we introduce a new "Super-Fan Builds," in which a Hobbit hole litter box and Eye of Sauron scratching post are created.

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Hadouken! Wrist-Worn Device For Sale Lets You Shoot Fireballs From Your Palm

Friday, December 5, 2014 at 2:50 pm


It's not cheap, but it's less than a Hot Toys figure. And it can make your toys - and everything else - pretty hot.

Like the fireballs that pro wrestlers used to throw in the ring at times, these are powered by flash paper, but far more precise, and controlled by devices that look like Spider-Man's web-shooters. It is designed for use by magicians, and not for aiming at the face of nine-foot Muay Thai sadists; nor are there any guarantees it will fend off third-world dictators with electrical powers. But damn, it looks cool. I mean hot. Goodness gracious.

via CBR

Christopher Walken...Has...an Xbox...Issue...?

Friday, December 5, 2014 at 10:00 am

Walken pic by Roberto Rizzato

Okay, before anybody gets too pedantic or upset - this is an impersonator. But a fantastic one. "Christopher" called XBox support, and somehow got a customer service rep who has no idea who "Christopher Walken" and "Robert De Niro" are.

If you work in customer service, I apologize, but this is a good example of how being media literate might help weed out the cranks. If you...don't?...Just...ENJOYYY...the. Madness! That ensues...as the call. Proceeeds..?

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Pizza Hut Will Use Retina Scans to Read Your Mind, Because We All Want That, Right?

Monday, December 1, 2014 at 3:30 pm


Not a joke, as far as I can tell - Pizza Hut is testing something called the Subconscious Menu.

No, really. And it scans your eye movements.

No, really. You look at ingredients on a screen, it monitors what you look at, then guesses from that what you want. This is supposedly 98% accurate. Based on the screen they show, my first reaction, being honest, is to go "Holy shit, they have dried salami, shrimp, sweetcorn and fresh basil at Pizza Hut now?"

My second reaction is that I DON'T WANT MY RESTAURANT TO RETINA-SCAN ME.

But maybe that's just me.

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Bug-A-Salt, the Shotgun That Lets You Blast Flies With Salt

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 at 12:00 pm


People don't kill flies...high-speed salt particles blasted from a pseudo-Nerf shotgun kill flies. Or did I get that backwards?

It's kind of ironic, given that people hit with buckshot are said to have been "peppered." But if you aren't the Karate Kid, able to catch flies with chopsticks, hey, why not spray salt all over your house trying to achieve what a much cheaper can of bug-spray will?

I guess it's more fun to wield a shotgun. Even a bright yellow, fake one. Check it out...

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Weekstarter: Naked Hermaphrodite Pooh, Bloodsucking Games, Medieval Goats and More

Monday, November 24, 2014 at 6:00 am

"Momaw Lisa" by sonicsnout

It's a new week, and the shortest one of the year, full of gift guides and other content to get the holidays off to a good start. In fact, today we're even going to have a whopping TWO list features! I'd say that it's because you deserve second helpings at Thanksgiving, but we all know that in fact this is likely to be a slow news week, and therefore a good time to showcase feature articles and editorials.

Here's your first of said features - a collection of the best and brightest reader-submitted and Kyle LeClair-compiled news tips over the weekend, to start your Monday off right. This week's tipsters included sonicsnout, troi, Citrus_King, skrag2112, SlyDante777, Dr.Gonzo82, Gallen_Dugall, rkwsuperstar

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Battlestar Galactica 1978: The Special Edition?

Friday, November 21, 2014 at 1:00 pm


Remember when classic Star Trek got a special-effects makeover? Unlike George Lucas revisionism, the original series saw re-release with an option to add CG-remastered effects, or simply show the originals.

There hasn't really been a clamor one way or another on Battlestar Galactica, a show for which the consensus seems to be that the reboot is way better, and the original is bad; something I will heartily dispute, as the original pilot has a lot of fully developed characters and a decent Twilight Zone-ish morality tale at its heart against the backdrop of a war for survival.

But anyway, special effects artist Adam 'Mojo' Lebowitz has updated some classic sequences with modern CGI, and the result is a blend so seamless I can't tell what's new (granted, it has been a while, and in Ireland, season premieres were released theatrically as movies - yes, even the 1980 one). I don't find the adjustments to be in any way blasphemous...but see if you do.

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Dawn of the Daleks: Cone-Shaped Security Robots Are Now on Patrol

Friday, November 21, 2014 at 10:00 am


They are not armed, we are assured, and people supposedly want to hug them.

Also they look like giant butt plugs. Which may or may not be related to the hugging.

Attack them, and they'll make a loud noise. You know, like everything that gets attacked. Really, these function most like Imperial Probots - they send constant camera feeds back home, and if you fuck them up, the operator will know something went wrong. And that's when we realize that the Galactic Empire never had to worry about budget.

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Net Neutrality: Won't Somebody PLEASE Think of the Kittens?

Thursday, November 20, 2014 at 3:27 pm


I know I don't usually post political thoughts here, but this time, I could not sit back and be silent. There is an issue of vital national importance afoot, and it behooves us all to pay attention and take a stand.

Net neutrality will affect your kittens.

I know, I know. You thought it was just an issue of corporations versus government. In fact, though, it's about kittens TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

Watch and learn.

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Friday Round-up and Weekend Open Thread

Friday, November 14, 2014 at 6:39 pm


-"Their defense is down!" It's San Antonio Spurs Ackbar.

-PlayStation is working on a TV on-demand device. I feel old for not quite understanding why I need it.

-Val Kilmer is selling some really awful "art" online.

-Video riff on "The Force Awakens" features Jar Jar taking a shit. Ahh, Internet.

-Underoos were cool for us as kids because regular T-shirts weren't cool back then. Adult Underoos seem like too little too late.

-The race to be the first zombie movie to exploit Ebola fears has begun.

-Tattooed scientist wears a shirt designed by the wife of his tattoo artist. Lands a goddamn probe on a comet. People online go into offense overdrive, prompting a tearful apology. This is why we (sometimes) can't have nice things.

But what would you like to talk about? There WILL be a recap thread this week, so go crazy.