I'm not sure why live-action game trailers are still a thing in an era where part of the point is to show how realistic your graphics are - but Sunset Overdrive basically destroys the concept in this spot that shows just how irresponsible and ridiculous you'd have to be to attempt to capture the game's madness in reality.
It also makes damn sure that the quote "Get ready to die, asshole!" will be seared in your brain as the game's catchphrase. So it's actually pretty insidious subliminal marketing that way. Whatever. I need to go get an orange energy drink RIGHT FUCKING NOW for some reason.
Not just any Police Academy stars, either: Steve Guttenberg, Michael Winslow and Leslie Easterbrook will be L.A.'s last line of defense when...
Giant lava breathing tarantulas - Lavalantulas - erupt out of ancient volcanos in the Santa Monica Mountains, raining death and destructionAnd there's even better news: the director is Mike Mendez, whose own Big Ass Spider! was a better giant monster campfest than pretty much any Syfy original.
Still - didn't one of you readers pitch almost this exact thing in one of our previous contests?
The only part that's still fiction is the hooker part - the appropriately named Jasmine Tridevil, who had a third breast surgically created, has a different goal in mind that involves selling herself for money: reality TV.
In case you were wondering, the third areola is a tattoo. And Jasmine does not understand men at all.
"I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don't want to date anymore," she said.In the real world, I fully expect to hear of a guy who surgically added an extra hand just for her.
While there may still be controversy surrounding the origins of Laika animation studios from the ashes of the original Will Vinton Studios, there's no doubting their quality record since then: Coraline, ParaNorman and now The BoxTrolls create elaborate stop-motion worlds with a creepy edge to them that pushes the boundaries of what we're used to in "family friendly" cartoons without ever being inappropriate for braver children.
CEO Travis Knight is hardly an aloof boss - he began as an animator, and he still likes to do the work himself, even as he has to reconcile big-picture concerns with the details of the company's fictional universes. In a wide-ranging discussion, I got to talk to him about Laika's present and future...and why they won't be exploiting their past.
The brain of the Son of God would probably be a pretty valuable morsel for zombie magi and shepherds consuming their own flocks...but fortunately, Joseph's packing a mean katana, and the virgin Mary's aim with a crossbow is as flawless as her immaculately conceived soul.
So if you like zombies, need an excuse to display them during the holiday season, but want to do so without actually defaming the baby Jesus, who looks here as he normally does in such displays, this might be the Kickstarter for you. If anybody's still offended, you can always paint a beard on Mary and say the baby's Brian of Nazareth instead.
A 16-disc set of Matt Smith's Doctor Who tenure is coming - and that's but one thing that came up in conversation over the course of the weekend thread. Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair, here are some of the other stories you might have missed.
Tipsters this week included Gallen_Dugall, SlyDante777, Anyone00, troi, Rx79Immigrant84, Citrus_King
We probably didn't need yet another company to make Darth Vader, but it happened anyway. A few more things before everyone chips in...
-James Deen is presumably Dick Reckard in this NSFW Blade Runner porn pictorial.
-Bill Nye endorses this time-travel documentary Kickstarter.
-GWAR replaced Oderus Urungus with a woman named Vulvatron.
-David Ayer may do a Suicide Squad movie.
-Laser cannons on planes are already a thing.
-A Top Cat origin movie isn't the movie you need, but the prequel Mexico deserves.
-An L. Frank Baum biopic? Word to the wise - he's a little harder to whitewash than Disney in Saving Mr. Banks.
-Game of Thrones theme, '80s synth-style version, is the best thing today.
The special effects in the live-action Spawn movie were never that great even for their time - a massive irony since it was made by special effects people - but now they are surpassed times a million by a guy on YouTube.
Not that effects are everything. The tone here is also perfect, with a gradual build-up towards the demonic stuff, the way the cinematography switches from gritty realism to fantasy, and the way Spawn is treated precisely the way Todd McFarlane has long claimed he wanted in a movie - a ghostly, urban-legend sort of bogeyman.
Todd, just let this Michael Paris guy do a feature for you. Seriously.