Weekend Open Thread - Nymphomaniac Groot Edition

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 4:00 pm

Vanessa Menendez

A fun little mashup by a friend of mine, showcasing the fact that even an actual block of wood can act and fake an orgasm better than Shia LaBeouf can do an English accent.

In other news, Julia Roberts is going to star in a movie about that make-a-wish kid who was Batman for a day.

I am out. Play nice.

Hilarious Kickstarter Fail for a $3,000 Civil War Batman Comic

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 2:17 pm

The things you find on Kickstarter sometimes...
batman told like never before Batman becomes a legacy from father to son starting in the civil war picture is not my design
Okay then. So you're starting off by taking an idea someone else has pretty much had already. Anything else?
The only real challenge I can really for see is getting DCs permission to do this but with the money i raise here i will fly to burbank and pitch my idea to them and hope that they okay it
Thank you for your time
Oh my, that is a challenge. You're counting on them taking a meeting with a total stranger, and you want them to take an unsolicited pitch. Well, I suppose you could impress them with a really great story idea that might wow...oh, wait...
I want make my mark on the batman legacy. I want to write a series spanning over one hundred years of the cowl being handed down from father to son starting back in the civil war era when Bruce Wayne's Great Great Great Grandfather had his entire family slaughtered by union soldiers and went out to seek vengeance during this he fathered a son right before his death who was taken by Ra's Al Ghul and trained by the league of shadows. If I go any further it will ruin the series so if you like it please donate
I'm not sure it's possible to ruin any of this, but fair enough. $3,000 is being solicited. A total of four donors thus far has raised $13.

h/t Nick Robinson, who donated one dollar.

Desperately Sikh-ing Captain America: A Cartoonist Cosplays for Tolerance

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 12:30 pm


In the short "Red, White and Beard," Sikh cartoonist Vishavjit Singh takes to the streets of New York in his customized Captain America outfit, presumably hoping to freak out people who thought Falcon as Cap was an outrageous notion.

What he finds seems pretty hopeful, though I think you'd have to assume it must, since it's unlikely that racists would volunteer their anger on camera or sign a release form to be included. It does demonstrate that Sikh awareness isn't especially high - notably when he asks people what religion they think he is, and the response is "Christian."

I think he may actually have super powers, to stay that thin even with all the ice cream bars he enjoys on camera.

Watch the whole thing below...

WTF Movie Poster of the Day: "Dolphin Lover" (It Is What You Think)

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 11:00 am


"Hello, I'm Troy McClure..."

As they say in Starship Troopers, would you like to know more?

Bud Light's Pac-Man Superbowl Commercial...and Our Very Indirect Involvement

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink, Video Games
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 10:00 am


Last night on The Tonight Show, Bud Light's new Superbowl ad premiered, featuring a life-sized playable Pac-Man maze, and I'm sure you're probably wondering why a beer company known for ads targeted at jocks and/or featuring horses suddenly got so nerdy. You might have assumed a cheap cash-in.

You might not have assumed that a Topless Robot alumnus was vaguely involved. It's Chris Ward, a Pac-Man superfan who famously owned a custom Pac-Man arcade game as old as he is for years, and also wrote our Krampus article that gets crazy traffic every Christmas season. Chris works for the company that worked WITH the company who created the ad: BBDO out of New York City. A 33 year-old "Mantern" there, it was a stretch for him to find any peripheral attachment, but now that he has, we are damn sure going to stretch and stress our peripheral attachment to him.

So no, this isn't Bud Light co-opting nerds. This is nerds co-opting Bud Light. YES IT IS. Check out the actual ad below. And Chris, if you're reading this - which I'm sure you are because you clued me in on this to begin with - see if you can get them to approve a Fan Fiction Friday theme next year.

Lego Scooby-Doo Is Official - as Toys and TV Specials [UPDATED]

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, TV, Toys
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 8:38 am


I'm quite happy about the sound of animated specials in particular - Scooby and the gang seem like they could be made more fun with an infusion of Lego's brand of humor. And I'd hazard a guess that if Lego cartoons are happening, a Lego game might be as well. I presume most of the monsters will pop off their heads at the end and replace them with more flesh-toned versions.

In another first, the Scooby Gang will be animated in LEGO form. In 2015, fans can look forward to a 22-minute LEGO special, featuring Scooby-Doo, and produced in partnership with Warner Bros. Animation. In addition, Warner Bros. Animation will also be producing made-for-video movie titles, which will be released by Warner Bros. Home Entertainment in the coming years.
I'm sure much hay will be made over the fact that the Mystery Machine set above doesn't come with any female characters, but there are five sets coming, and "the whole gang" is promised.

Now the question remains what they mean by "whole gang." I'm sure the core four humans are included, but what about Scrappy, Yabba, Scooby-Dee, Scooby-Dum, etc.?

UPDATE: There's more - check out the giant haunted house set, as well as an announcement that two of the other sets will be "Mummy Museum Mystery" and "Haunted Lighthouse."

via FBTB

Bryan Cranston, in His Underwear and a Neon Shirt, Yelling at You: The Toy We All Need

By Luke Y. Thompson in Toys
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 8:00 am


Okay. Which one of you pervs decided this was a product that the market needed? Anyone?

I'm not opposed to the idea of a quarter-scale, scene-accurate Breaking Bad action figure with sound. When I saw the listing for this, I was hoping it meant Mezco was back in the game of competing head-to-head with NECA for awesome 18-inchers. But no: it means a new toy company, a deformed head, a shirt that hurts my eyes, and the unsettling notion that this is somebody's spank material turned hard plastic.

If that somebody is you, preorders are up now. You appall me, but I am a generous dude like that.

It Took France 14 Years to Be Offended by Superhero Gang-Bang Mural in a Hospital

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 6:30 am

Les m├ędecins ne sont pas des pigeons on Facebook

I don't know about you, but I'm sure nothing would make me feel better about recovering from injuries somehow sustained in France than a giant wall-painting of Wonder Woman getting ass-fucked by Batman, fisted by Supergirl, and masturbated on by Superman and the Flash. Look, I always vomit right after surgery anyway, so we might as well make it happen quickly. And indeed, this was apparently cool with the people of France for 14 years. Only when a photo of it went up on Facebook with added speech-bubbles equating health care reforms with rape did anybody decide to take action - even as some defend such images as a medical student tradition.

So, in a curious reversal of our usual understanding of free speech: porn = good. Health care debate = bad. Giant ejaculating superhero penises on hospital walls = who knew that was a problem? Just so we're clear.

I would note that since there's nothing in the image that necessarily denies consent, "rape" may be slandering the original artist's intent, to the extent that that matters to anybody, anywhere. In fact, Wonder Woman appears to be giving Flash a handjob, which implies she's a willing participant. But it's a gang-bang at minimum.

Thanks to Vice magazine for finding this story - and for posting the unpainted, uncensored images for the sake of anyone who may have regretted eating breakfast today and wants it back up and out. Thanks also to almost every single one of my regular readers who sent this in. You know me too well.

7 Kinds of Fans That Ruin Things for the Rest of Us

By Mark Hill in Daily Lists, Nerdery
Friday, January 23, 2015 at 5:00 am

IGN Boards

One of the great things about being a fan is that you can be an obsessive fan. You can memorize trivia, speculate on elaborate theories and have conversations entirely in quotes from your beloved franchise. And the Internet makes it easy to find fellow superfans who won't judge you for your love.

Unfortunately, small subsections of these dedicated fandoms practice the same exclusionary tactics that once prevented them from finding comrades. Sometimes their actions are intentional and sometimes they're accidental. Either way, the message is the same: "If you're not like me, you're not a true fan." Fandoms should be inclusive, but these folks are preventing that...

Three Actors I Never Heard of Before to Play Cyclops, Storm and Jean Grey in Next X-Movie

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 6:26 pm

I've been away from the computer all day. Who are these people?

via Hollywood Reporter