If this video,
courtesy of the folks at JoBlo [Extra has now provided the official video, and weren't happy about JoBlo's "exclusive" version, it seems], is even more of a hoax than the obviously hoaxy parts, they're damn good. I think the news is for real, though. Rob Liefeld is certainly acting like it is.
The interview with Mario Lopez is obvious set up, but you get to see Ryan Reynolds in costume before all is said and done.
I'm sure you've ascertained right away that it isn't real - but I'll bet you at the very least that Disney theme parks WILL make toys that look like this.
In real life, of course, you wouldn't see people like Felicia Day and Bonnie Burton doing the voices - Pixar would probably get Jeff Foxworthy and Adrien Brody instead.
I have so many questions about this short film:
-Artoo's not gay? And spoken for by a certain fussy, sparkly dude?
-Artoo serves drinks from inside his body now? What happened to the tray he used on the Sail Barge?
-Artoo backs down from a fight? The droid who was willing to tangle with Yoda over a flashlight, knowing full well he was a Jedi master?
-What is this "Mail Box" of which you speak? And why do people put paper things inside it?
I had to do a double-take when I realized they didn't actually make Kirk in the first series. I can't imagine how William Shatner's ego took that one.
The Gorn translates quite nicely in this style, probably because it was a cheesy, simple costume to begin with. There's only so realistic you can get on toys of some of the old outfits before you start recreating seams and zippers.
And yes, these are real. So if your Jabba the Hutt ever gets bored of Slave Leia, he can now switch out for Slave Vina.
Even if it is too little, too late, I'm all for Jupiter Ascending merchandise after the fact, since at least I'll feel slightly more vindicated for liking it than I did John Carter and The Lone Ranger if people actually buy this stuff.
But oh, how I wish Tonner dolls were not the company that chose to execute the rights. I get it - the perception is that the movie resonated mainly with girls and women, so you go with a girly toy company. But do dolls for girls have to look like zombiefied, plastic-surgeried-and-wax-drowned versions of the characters, rather than the actual actors?
I don't believe so. But Tonner seems intent on proving me wrong. And they're betting $240 per doll on it.
You guys excited for Ready Player One? Because I am sure as shit not. I can't remember the last time I finished a book so angry (Atlas Shrugged doesn't count because I never finished it). This wasn't a book, it was a Frankenstein's monster of cobbled-together nerd references begging to be loved based off of shared nostalgia. There wasn't a plot, there was the writer shouting "HEY DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER ZORK? IT WAS JUST LIKE THAT." There wasn't a shred of character development beyond "DO YOU REMEMBER A COMMON FIRST CRUSH FOR OUR DEMOGRAPHIC? SHE LOOKED LIKE THAT ALSO." The whole book was an exercise in lazy groupthink, a nerdsploitation I Love the '80s. I can't wait for his next book, It's Like The Last Starfighter, But Just Different Enough To Not Get Sued. It's really scary that Wreck-Gar may have accurately predicted the future.
If you enjoyed this week's tirade, be sure to come back next week when I go all nerd Andy Rooney about Whole Foods charging full price for flatbread pizza that doesn't fit the golden ratio. This week in comics, we start with GODDAMMIT an adaptation. But at least this one is pretty damn good.
2015 is not 1966, but with the aid of animation, it sounds like we're getting a real throwback soon, as Adam West and Burt Ward announced last weekend that at least one - and maybe two - cartoon movies featuring themselves as Batman and Robin were on the way. For a medium that only requires their distinctive voices, age is not an issue for the Dynamic Duo.
Alas, that despicable fiend Father Time has made it an issue for most of their villains, as most of the greats, save Julie Newmar, have ascended to Bat-Heaven. Like all obstacles facing the caped crusaders, however, this is one that is not insurmountable. Start with the fact that recasting the bad guys was part and parcel of the original show. And continue that train of thought as you realize there are undoubtedly numerous stars of today who are huge fans, willing and able to take up the cause of crime in order to be busted by the Bat. In selecting some new contenders we'd like to see, the rules are as follows. One: as with the 1966 series, the actor chosen must already be some sort of celebrity, so that the joy of the performance comes in the merger of established persona with bad-guy costume. Two: re-casting old characters is perfectly acceptable. Three: we will assume that the characters will be drawn to resemble the actors voicing them.