Archie Comics to Do Massive Sega vs. Capcom Crossover Event

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Video Games
Friday, February 27, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Oh, Archie Comics. Is there anything you can't do?

Given the crossovers with zombies and Predator, I fully expect 50 Shades of Archie and The Archie Human Centipede to be within the realm of possibility. But enough about my fanfic fantasies. I'm sure Sega vs. Capcom is one of yours. Mega Man, Street Fighter, Sonic, Golden Axe, Ghosts 'n Goblins, Panzer Dragoon, Skies of Arcadia and more will collide in a comic crossover that I want to say isn't an orgy [just kidding - I TOTALLY want to say it] - but given how no-holds-barred Archie comics have been lately, who knows?

h/t SlyDante777, who needs to get writing some themed erotica, stat.

9 Secondary Anime Characters Who Save the Day More Often Than the Hero

By R.K. Stein in Anime, Daily Lists
Friday, February 27, 2015 at 5:00 am

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So, you're a main character in a new anime. Fresh from the South Korean animation studios and swimming in an ocean of hype, you're ready for it all: the fame, the fortune, the fan fiction. You step into the spotlight, ready for your star debut...and promptly get crushed beneath the big toe of the rampaging alien beastie that roared to life after the first commercial break. As it waddles unperturbed through downtown Tokyo taking bites out of the scenery, you lay there paralyzed with an existential crisis. You're also paralyzed because everything below your rib cage is paste, but it's mostly the existential crisis.


Double-Deckard! Blade Runner Sequel Is Official With Harrison Ford

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Movies
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 6:44 pm

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EXCLUSIVE! The new poster.

I've seen things you wouldn't believe.

Harrison Ford signing on to a sequel to something he did 30-odd years ago is not one of them. Prisoners' Denis Villeneuve will direct.

One of the reasons we've never gotten decent Blade Runner toys is that actor likeness rights aren't included in any licensing deal. If any of the rest of the original cast comes back, maybe we can fix that. I'm not sure much else good can come from this, though having the original co-screenwriter Hampton Fancher aboard is a good sign. But which cut of the movie is it a sequel to? They should shoot like five different versions simultaneously just to please everyone.

Do Bad Nerds Dream of Electric Sequels?

CW's Arrow Spinoff for The Atom to Also Feature "Three Major DC Comics Characters"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 5:31 pm

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Let the speculation begin. Officially, the Ray Palmer-centric pilot will include as regulars Wentworth Miller's Captain Cold, Victor Garber's Dr. Stein, and Caity Lotz as...Zombie Black Canary? Nobody's sure on that last one. But the bigger news is what they're not officially telling us yet. Nellie Andreeva at Deadline writes:

Additionally, in a tidbit that should get fans fired up, I have learned the new project will include three major DC Comics characters who have never appeared in a TV series.
I presume that rules out characters who've been on Smallville, so Aquaman and Hawkman are out. Green Lantern, maybe? Or, given budgetary limits, a pre-GL Kyle Rayner or Guy Gardner? What's your bet?

First Official Not-a-Magazine Scan JEM Movie Image

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Movies, Toys
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 5:10 pm

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The image that was going around was a terrible-quality blow-up of a magazine scan, and I won't share those. But here's the real deal.

The ladies certainly look more like the Jem I remember than that first teaser poster did, but at the same time, Jem came out in the '80s when this look was the norm of what rock-star cool was supposed to look like. If Jem were a brand new property, Jem herself would have to look more like Lady Gaga to capture the same effect. I may be applying way too much logic to Jem. All I really know is it's a property that puts out expensive Comic-Con exclusive dolls that I buy my wife each year. I guess this year's versions will look like that picture.

And if Axel Braun's smart, he'll get to work right now...

via Nerdist

Trailer for Fox Digital's Parallels Looks Like a Fan-Made "Gritty Reboot" of Sliders

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 1:30 pm

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Remember Sliders, the show where Jerry O'Connell and pals would go to a new parallel Earth each week, and every major cast member ultimately got replaced? If I didn't know better, I'd think the trailer for the new movie Parallels was a gritty fan film version by Adi Shankar, who gave us that violent Power Rangers spoof a couple of days ago.

In fact, this is more intriguing - a low-budget sci-fi movie that centers around a building which exists at the nexus of every possible parallel Earth. It - the film, not the building - is going to be available on Netflix, Amazon and other VOD services starting Sunday.

Too bad there's no John Rhys-Davies type, but I'll make do.

The Wankband - New Device Uses Masturbation to Power Your Phone

By Luke Y. Thompson in Tech
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 12:20 pm

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Ladies and gentlemen, behold possibly the most brilliant use of renewable energy ever. Just think of how much friction we all waste every day, that could be put to use powering the devices that allow us to find the material that causes us to generate the friction in the first place.

The Wankband, which resembles a fitness tracker, uses a small kinetic charger built into the band to generate and store electricity created by motion -- specifically, the motion that is usually done while watching porn. To encourage users to save energy by using their Wankbands, Pornhub is creating a "Wanking Warriors program" that offers special rewards.
There's a helpful (and surprisingly SFW) video that explains more...

Sometimes, You Want Your Baby to Just Look Like a Drunk Without Being One

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 11:30 am

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Fortunately for you, there's "Li'l Lager," a baby bottle that it makes it look like Junior's chugging down some brews when it's actually just milk. It's sort of an ironic reversal of the whole brown paper bag concept, though I'm not sure the makers had that kind of elaborate social satire in mind.

For just $12, here comes Honey Brew-Brew. And for their next trick, how about crayons that look like used heroin syringes? Or diapers colored to look like thongs?

h/t AJ Feuerman

A Clever, Single-Take Video on the Classical Origins of the Star Trek Theme

By Luke Y. Thompson in Music, TV
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 10:30 am

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I learned something today.

This video, from CBC Music (Canada's NPR, according to the producer who sent it to me) could have just given a musical history lesson and left it at that, but it's also shot so seamlessly with host Tom Allen moving around, upstairs and down, that you totally forget his musicians would have to be scrambling behind the scenes to seamlessly appear in each new location.

So come for the secret origins of the Star Trek theme - and stay for the filmmaking.

UK KFC Has Coffee Cups Made of Cookies That Smell Like Grass

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 9:16 am

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KFC UK

I don't mean marijuana, by the way.

KFC has just unveiled the UK's first edible coffee cup. It's called the Scoff-ee cup (badum-tish).

The 'Scoff-­‐ee Cup' is made from biscuit, wrapped in sugar paper and lined with a layer of glorious white chocolate. It keeps the coffee hot and the cup crispy.

For those of you not fluent in English-English, allow me to translate: "biscuit" = "cookie" and "scoff" = "eat rapidly." And being made of cookies is not the weirdest thing here.
We've infused different cups with a variety of ambient aromas including Coconut Sun Cream, Freshly Cut Grass and Wild Flowers.
Coconut I get. But flowers and cut grass? Are you trying to induce hay fever in fans of coffee and cookies? Have you actually met people who tell you they wish to eat cut grass?

I mean, I like the smell of the ocean, but I sure as shit don't want my coffee tasting like it. Keep it simple. Like hot dog buns made of chicken.

h/t SlyDante777