My Wife Reacts to Hello Kitty Not Being a Cat Any More

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons
Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 4:00 am


She has a thing or two to say. Quite loudly.

If Hello Kitty Isn't a Cat, What Is She? I Think I Know!

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Toys
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 5:30 pm


Who says the L.A. Times is irrelevant? Today they broke a bombshell story that would seem to just be the result of asking something nobody ever thought of.

"Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it's called Charmmy Kitty."

Now, if Disney could release a similar statement about Goofy, we'd be getting somewhere. But even if Hello Kitty is a cartoon, she has to have a species. So if she's not a cat, which she looks the most like, what's the next thing in nature that resembles her the most?

See if you can guess before reading on...

How Marvel's Movies Would Look With "No Jokes" - Pretty Badass, Actually

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 4:00 pm


Hey, have you heard? DC wants "no jokes" in their superhero movies!

(And yet they cast Ben Affleck. Rimshot!)

Actually, nobody at DC has come out and said that in any official capacity, but that hasn't stopped every site out there from writing about it. The story originates at HitFix, where Drew McWeeny talks about hearing it, and essentially dares DC to come out and confirm or deny it. I suspect that there are folks at WB/DC who want more serious movies, and also perhaps that the ones who like levity may be baiting sites like ours to demonstrate that there is a demand for some humor.

In a curious bit of timing, an editor named Gen Kim today sent me a supercut of the most serious and sad moments in the major Marvel movies, where pain and defeat exist alongside triumph. There is no humor in the four-and-a-half minute reel, and guess what? It still kicks major ass.

Watch it and realize - Marvel doesn't need "jokes," and the competition doesn't need to fear them. It's about making good movies, plain and simple.

The Pyramid Is a New Mummy Horror Flick That I Really Hope Isn't "Found-Footage"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 2:30 pm


I don't have a specific aversion to found-footage - it's a form like any other, and depends on the story you tell. But following the fake CG historical part of this trailer, the first look at our main characters appears to be classic "Hey, let's make a documentary about something unexplained, because that never goes wrong" POV shooting, while the last third has everyone running, shooting and falling in ways that couldn't feasibly be accomodating any kind of complex camera work.

I'm all for mummies being scarier that Arnold Vosloo with CGI acne, but if you're going for something more "realistic" here, Fox, I'm waiting for another trailer to convince me.

Dear vs. Bear Proves Bollywood Is Taking Awesomely Bad Inspiration From Syfy Movies

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 1:00 pm


It's about a soccer team...stranded in the woods...attacked by insanely fake digital bears...whom they fight back against by kicking footballs at them.

The best part is the way the trailer conspicuously credits the special effects director as if it were anything to be proud of - unless "Ashish Saxena" is Hindi for "Tommy Wiseau," I would have thought whoever was responsible would want to hide in shame. And the YouTube comments the movie's own distribution company has posted include such gems as "VERY GOOD SENSIBLE , ROMANTIC, MOVIE" and "Uttar kumar and Lovely joshi super acting."

You don't have to speak Hindi to get the effect - I wouldn't be surprised, actually, if the movie's better when you don't.

Doctor Who to Officially Materialize in Minecraft

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV, Video Games
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 11:30 am


Starting with skin packs of six Doctors each, Minecraft will begin adding multiple characters and aliens from the show starting in September. You've got to have those companions in order to teach the Doctor how to tame a horse.

While I love how they've captured Peter Capaldi in the simple block style, does anybody else maybe suspect that with a slight color swap, he'd reveal himself to love lasagna...and hate Mondays?


I'd add the cat ears except that I have no idea how to do it and not make it look terrible.

Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Hello Kitty Face Wiener Cutter

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Food & Drink
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 10:00 am


Face. Wiener. Cutter.

Not exactly the most commercial of product names in English, I'd say. But if you've ever wanted to carve a pussy out of your wiener, or you've ever had an unfulfilled dream to literally pork Hello Kitty, $4.25 is a steal.

Also, the accompanying plastic toothpicks look like penises.

New Comic Book Day: Bob's Burgers Are Made of Wolverine

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 8:00 am

All good things must come to an end, my friends. This lovely blue orb will spin only so long before the sun explodes and makes what life remains here extinct.

As with Earth, so too goes the funny books game. Specifically, All-Star Western and Wolverine which both see their final issues making their debut this week. Oh, and Logan begins his slow crawl toward the grave with "One Month to Die." Plus, a little fools are about to die hard in the latest The Goon series out of Dark Horse.

But it's not all doomed! What could possibly be more fun than the Ninja Turtles going back in time and cosplaying as pirates? Plus, Bob's Burgers makes the leap from the small screen to the comics page.

10 Secrets About the History of Heathers With Writer Daniel Waters

By Charles Webb in Daily Lists, Movies
Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 6:00 am


Heathers is one of the greatest films of and about the '80s. Not only skewering the odd mix of cultural conservatism and libertine excess that still dominate high schools, writer Daniel Waters' script is a classic: dark, sharp, funny, mean (and at the same time, oddly sympathetic to its characters, even at their worst). Released in the spring of 1989, the film launched Waters' career, as well as that of its lead Christian Slater (J.D.), while kicking Winona Ryder's (Veronica) career to the next level following the success of Beetlejuice. The cool girl who gets fed up with with being an in-crowd crony, and the homicidal outsider who becomes her boyfriend, lived in the bizarro universe where John Hughes movies weren't afraid to use a pretty girl's death by cleaning solution as a punchline.

To commemorate 25 years of Heathers, Waters and I spoke by phone recently, with the writer looking back at how it got made (with very little supervision), its legacy (say thank you, Joss Whedon), and how sometimes trying to get Winona Ryder off your back leads to a surprise sequel announcement.

TR Interview: Dylan Postl, From Happy Hornswoggle to Lethal Leprechaun

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Tuesday, August 26, 2014 at 5:30 pm


When WWE Studios announced they'd acquired the rights to the Leprechaun movie franchise, there was never any doubt who would star - Dylan Postl had been playing a leprechaun character on WWE TV for years, albeit a very different kind from the primeval beast that the movie intends to reveal.

Unusually for a WWE superstar, Postl in person seems slightly uncomfortable talking about himself, perhaps because in the ring he has mostly gotten by with grunts and body language. But at a Comic-Con roundtable, we managed to get a few good words out of him.