Fake "Banned" Trailer for Kickstartering 1996-Style Shooter Is EXTREEEEME!

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV, Video Games, zombies
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 3:30 pm

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Strafe bills itself as having "BLEEDING EDGE GRAPHICS AND GAMEPLAY, 1996©" with its polygonal visuals, non-stop shooting, ever more insane weapons and even an easter-egg Wolfenstein parody level. But the best part of all is the retro trailer - while absurd in content, it gets the visual style just right, and in a world of Robert Rodriguez fake-grindhouse movies that don't look like they ever got anywhere near film in a projector, the bad video rings true.

If only this were a retro console game - I'd give a lot to have a shooter that only uses ONE joystick and two strafe buttons like the old PS1 Doom.

Now - are you ready to get even more AWESOME and MEGA-CYBER EXREME than the boobs on a Liefeld Captain America? Read on...

New Doctor Who and Sherlock Action Figures Revealed at UK Toy Fair

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV, Toys
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 2:00 pm

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They're still in the smaller, 3.75" scale, which is probably going to stay the norm. But on the plus side, they've made pretty much everyone you'd expect. The Skovox Blitzer, two new Claras, Caretaker Doctor, Spacesuit Doctor, Cyberman, Cyber-Danny, Rusty Dalek, the Mummy, and even a Dalek inside a Dalek-shaped spaceship.

No sign of Missy yet, though, unless I - ahem - missed her. The Sherlock figures only have packaging mockups so far, but that's a good start.

The Doctor Who Site has detailed pictures of all of it.

"My Logo on a Bootleg My Little Pony Giant Inflatable Sex Doll, You Say?"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, TV, Toys
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 12:30 pm

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Hongyi Toys

If we're suppressing our gag reflex long enough to think critically, this "Inflatable Pony Sexy Girl" isn't really a great sex toy. It's one piece and thus does not have the usual orifices.

Not that such a minor complication saved poor Rainbow Dash in the jar, mind you.

But while every other outlet reporting on this unusual (you wish) item is mostly feigning shock, my eye was caught by a very particular product detail:

We can add your logo, slogan or other message
Where, dear readers, would you suggest placement of the logo should be?

No, I'm not getting a TR blow-up pony. It's...um...strictly hypothetical. Yep.

h/t Anyone00 in the weekend thread.

Geek Apparel of the Week: Benedict Cumberbatch "Cumberbitch" Leggings

By Luke Y. Thompson in Merchandise
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 11:00 am

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Who among us does not wish to have, as the seller puts it, "[t]he flawlessness that is Benedict Cumberbatch all over yo bodeh <3"? Poprageous, known for female clothing that depicts trendy, geeky things from all eras like Pac-Man, Frida Kahlo and raccoons, has the sheer luck to bring the popular actor into your homes, on your butt.

These doctored, strange leggings look to be quite form-fitting, so you'd best have on underwear beneath to keep them from inching into darkness. What, son? You say that's elementary? We Khan dig it.

Pengwings.

First-Ever ROXY ROCKET Batman Animated Figure Is Coming

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Toys
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 9:30 am

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I saw an image of this shared on twitter yesterday and figured it had to be a custom. No way Roxy Rocket was actually getting a figure, right? Especially at a higher-end price that included a vehicle?

Wrong be me. She's the first deluxe figure in DC Collectibles' 6"-scale animated line, clocking in at $39.95 suggested retail with a rocket that features working lights. The star of what Bruce Timm considered one of the most risque episodes of the animated series ever (it's likely no coincidence that when she made the leap to non-animated continuity, DC jacked up her cleavage quite a bit just because they could), this thrill-seeking stunt aviatrix is an archetype that probably does have more appeal to older collectors than kiddies.

Girls like that at least in this incarnation, she doesn't wear a cheesy, revealing outfit; boys like that she's riding a giant metal phallus half the time (her description boasts, in all caps, "ROCKET MEASURES 12.25" LONG"). Steampunkers and retro-aviation fans of all stripes probably just lost their collective shit.


Terrifying CGI John Malkovich Stars in Call of Duty Zombie DLC

By Luke Y. Thompson in Video Games, zombies
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 8:00 am

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The new trailer has arrived for Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's Exo Zombies mode, included in the "Havoc" DLC pack, which stars Malkovich, Bill Paxton and Rose McGowan, in both voice and creepy, doll-like avatars.

Never mind the undead - I'm going to be having nightmares about that digital Malkovich advancing on me, singing "Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich..."

Though his line at the end of this trailer is pretty cool too (and NSFW).

New Comic Book Day: WIN 5 Valiant Comics Hardcovers!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Valiant Comics
Your prizes!

PRIZE TIME! Let's talk about shelf porn.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I'm kiiiiiiiinda into shelf porn. I'm a slovenly mess when it comes to everything else in my life, but when it comes to storing and ordering my comics, I'm an absolute nightmare. I'm a firm believer that how you store the collections you love speaks to how you love them, and I really enjoy seeing how other people show off their gear. With that in mind, the fine folks at Valiant Comics have very generously offered the five deluxe hardcovers in the banner image (Harbinger, Archer & Armstrong, X-O Manowar, Shadowman and Bloodshot) to the Roboteer with the best looking collection. Hit the jump for the rules.


The 10 Best Nerdy Gadgets of 2014

By Jason Helton in Daily Lists, Tech
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 5:00 am

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I've always loved being at the forefront of technology. Being an early adopter, however, has its downsides, like when you pick the wrong format, which I have frequently done. As a kid, when the other children were asking for an Atari 5200, I was begging for (and received) a Vectrex. I invested an obscene amount of money in HD-DVD which, on paper was the superior system. Then there was the time I spent $200 on a Diamond Rio, the first commercial MP3 player with its whopping 32 megs of storage, or roughly enough space for an album at low enough bit rates. Gadgets are expensive, but for nerds like me, they are ambrosia, and usually worth every penny. Nothing is quite as fun as unboxing a new toy and showing it off.

As technology improves, science fiction is quickly becoming reality. My children will never know what it's like to live in a world without touchscreens or Netflix. As sad as it is to think that they won't experience enjoying Saturday morning cartoons with a bowl full of sugary cereal or having to adjust the tracking on the VCR, they also get the privilege of experiencing technology that, for my grandparents, would have seemed like magic. As 2014 comes to a close, it's time to look back at that magic by taking a look at the ten best gadgets the year has brought us. Get your checkbooks (or Apple Pay) ready, kids: it's time to start planning for 2015's holidays.

The Flash SPOILER Thread - Chillin'

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Tuesday, January 20, 2015 at 4:45 pm

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It is getting cold in here...so put on all your clothes.

So Many Ironies: Triple H Voices the Hulk in Botched Marvel Touring Experience Hated by Fans

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Comics, Live Performance
Tuesday, January 20, 2015 at 3:30 pm

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WWE's Triple H was once rumored to play Thor. He has repeatedly fought a guy named Hulk. His most famous ex-girlfriend Chyna played She-Hulk in a porno. And now he gets to voice the Incredible Hulk - in the Marvel Experience interactive touring attraction (not be confused with the live touring stunt show Marvel Universe LIVE!).

You might think to yourself, why hire a guy who is hated by fans for being clueless to his viewers' desires and arrogant enough to assume we want to see far more of him than we actually do? Well, it's revealed as a pretty perfect match once you read the Yelp reviews of the show...