Talk and Relevant Discussions in Snark: Doctor Who "Flatline" SPOILER Recap

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV
Monday, October 20, 2014 at 8:00 am

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My thoughts below...

Weekstarter: Rodin Action Figures, Fatal Gangbangs, Hitler Pageants, Vertigo and More

Monday, October 20, 2014 at 6:00 am

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"Congratulations, Mr. and Mr. Abraxas...It's an Eldritch!"

It's a new week, and what better way to start than with fatal gangbangs, high-art action figures, fan edits and evil clowns? Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair.

Tipsters this week include SlyDante777, franciebrady27, rkwsuperstar, somcisnout, Gallen_Dugall, DrAbraxas, Anyone00, troi, skrag2112, BrandoLars

Weekend Open Thread - Jena Malone Superhero Edition

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Friday, October 17, 2014 at 7:20 pm

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There aren't a lot of desk-clearing items this week, save one popular rumor based on scraps and the word of a Batman v Superman extra. It concerns Jena Malone being seen on set, the description of a character in the script and some extrapolation based on an existing comic. None of it is as "confirmed" as some would have it, but if you want to read what the speculation is...

Also, Fox apparently wants Tom Hardy for the role of Apocalypse...

...and the makers of that Hatred game might be actual neo-Nazis.

Happy weekend, y'all!

GIVEAWAY: Walking Dead Shirt/Toy/DVD Package From Flashy Geek

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Merchandise, Toys
Friday, October 17, 2014 at 5:03 pm

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I think I speak for more than just myself when I say it's about time we gave away some Walking Dead stuff. In association with our friends at Flashy Geek, we're now going to do just that. Three comic-based shirts, two Funko toys (may or may not be the specific characters depicted) and a season 3 DVD.

And no, you don't have to make a meme or write a fictional season finale. You've just gotta give your info to the widget-thing after the jump below, and they'll take care of the rest, like your own personal Rick Grimes, minus the PTSD.

Entries close Wednesday, Oct. 29th at 11:59 p.m.

Topless Toy Chest: Diamond Select Universal Monsters Son of Frankenstein, Gill-Man, Van Helsing

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, Toys
Friday, October 17, 2014 at 3:00 pm

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First, my apologies to Diamond, who sent the samples, for taking so long on this.

Second: as you all who read regularly know, I love figures with dioramas. I like displaying figures out of package, and if there's a little piece of their world to stand in, it makes the display that much better. Like prior Universal figures, these will be available at Toys R Us with no-frills stands, but any fan of these ought to go for the exclusive versions if possible.

I've been mixed on Diamond Select's output lately - love the Star Trek, don't love the Sin City. But they've been doing these monsters in Select style longer. How do they fare? Let's find out...

I READ YOUR FANFIC! America Molested by McDonald's Happy Meals, Part 2

Friday, October 17, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "America Goes To McDonald's And Never Comes Back (Part 2 of 2)" by Konata101

Logline: "America," a nation embodied herein by an overweight man with glasses named Alfred, investigates an empty McDonald's. Or so he thinks. It's full of evil, homicidal Happy Meals who proceed to have their way with him. So far, they've force fed him a cardboard box filled with fries. As we begin, he is being double-penetrated from the rear. Yeah. It gets bad.

Acts Involved: Anal rape, double-penetration, force-feeding, oral sex, anal leakage, defecation fetish, male lactation, cramming, male-impregnation, alien-style chestbursting live birth.

Participants: America, the McDonald's Happy Meal creatures.

The Live Reading/Performance...

The Slasher Crossover Ninja Turtle Toys That Never Existed (but Maybe Should Have?)

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Movies, TV, Toys
Friday, October 17, 2014 at 11:30 am

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Leather Leo saws, Donny Krueger kills some teens...Jason Raph is dead but moves/Mikey Myers loves him some Halloween grooves...

I had to do a double-take when I came upon this image last night. Had these actually existed and somehow slipped my mind? Rationally, I figured out the answer had to be no - the '90s still got hysterical if a Freddy Krueger toy made it to shelves, and only Todd McFarlane's Movie Maniacs at the very end of the decade (or was it early in the next one?) managed to bust down that wall.

What makes customizer Dan Polydoris' creations feels so authentic is that they're kitbashes - every piece does actually come from existing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures. And the toy Turtles did cross over with every available license from Universal Monsters to Star Trek.

In an age when CGI turtle nostrils and lips have managed to become even creepier than quaint ol' Freddy, it may be time for Playmates to consider these.

New Disney Short "Feast" Is Going to Make All You Pet Owners Cry. Just Give in Now.

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Food & Drink
Friday, October 17, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Look at the puppy. Look at the owner feeding him a french fry.

Look at the puppy eat more food.

Look at time go by, as the puppy gets bigger and starts eating nachos and spaghetti 'n stuff.

And ask yourself...is there any goddamn doubt this won't end with an old and feeble dog licking up the last drops of melted ice cream from a wrinkly hand, or some shit like that?

Maybe. But I don't see how. The short will premiere in full in front of Big Hero 6, and I suggest watching the clip below to get yourself prepared. Not that it'll work.

Scarlett Johansson Offered Ghost in the Shell Live-Action Lead

By Luke Y. Thompson in Anime, Comics, Movies
Friday, October 17, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Deadline buried the lead in their story about possible Suicide Squad movie casting yesterday, with a late-breaking addendum that ScarJo is being offered $10 million to play Motoko Kusanagi (or whatever horribly Americanized name they'll give her so as not to appear to be whitewashing - Moe Cuse, perhaps?). If you're not going to go Asian, it makes sense - Johansson's recent Lucy ripped off and dumbed down quite a bit from Akira, and proved she could open a movie at the box office. And having already played an alien uncomfortable in human skin, playing a mechanical body with an existential crisis shouldn't be a huge stretch.

While I doubt the movie won't be fucked up somehow, I actually think this might be a good first step. And if it all falls apart, the originals are still there.

91 Things We Saw at the Hello Kitty 40th Anniversary Exhibit in Downtown Los Angeles

Friday, October 17, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Hello Kitty turns 40 this year - but just like you're not supposed to call her a cat, don't call it a birthday. Sanrio is very persnickety about semantics, and would rather you called this the 40th anniversary of her first appearance.

In honor of their meowing mascot hitting the middle-age mark, Sanrio is hosting several celebrations, including an exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in downtown Los Angeles. Yes, we were there, and yes, we have a cat-ton of pictures to show of this part-history, part-art-inspiration exhibit. Let the cuteness commence!