Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: How Realistic Is Battlefield Hardline?

Thursday, September 18, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything. Just be polite when you do.

Happy Thursday all. Hope you have all had a great week so far and are looking forward to the weekend; I know I am. Last week I posted about the new nail polish I tried, and one comment was I should have done the Vulcan salute. So here it is. As you can see the polish did not last 2 weeks, as advertised - it was really great for about a week and then started to fall apart between last week and this week's rants. But it did last longer than any other polish that I have ever tried. So I would buy it again.


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A Look at the Children's Book the Satanic Temple Can Now Legally Hand out in Florida Schools

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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Due to a recent lawsuit to allow equal access to all religions into the public schools of Orange County, Florida, the Satanic Temple will now be handing out The Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities, among other materials.

I wrote to the Temple's publicist and asked if we could have a look. We can indeed. After doing so, I'm convinced the devil may indeed have the best sense of humor...

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EXCLUSIVE REVEAL: Wrestling Artist Rob Schamberger's Newest Painting - The NWO!

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 3:00 pm

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Yes, I normally try to keep the wrestling stuff to Monday - but WWE is going to announce this officially on Monday and Rob wanted to give us the exclusive first-look.

Rob Schamberger is a Kansas City-based portrait artist who specializes in the world of professional wrestling. Along with his goal to paint every one of the sport's world champions, he has also begun a partnership with WWE, who now sell his work. A who's who of wrestlers own his work, and he has also been named the official artist of the George Tragos/ Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame. He has painted live for WWE at WrestleMania and SummerSlam, and had the distinct honor of hand-painting the jacket worn by The Ultimate Warrior in his final appearance on Monday Night Raw. He also utilizes the interest in his work to raise money for various charities and causes.

Ready to see his new one? Read on...

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"Fall of Grayskull": Teaser for Masters of the Universe Fan Film Has the Power

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 12:00 pm

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This is one of the better looking fan film teasers I've ever seen, and it ought to be - filmmaker Daniel Benedict is a renowned He-Man superfan, having designed Castle Grayskullman and thereby won Mattel's Create-a-Character contest in the Classics toy line.

His movie, funded on Kickstarter, takes most of its stylistic cues from the 2002 cartoon and action figures, though the blonde bikini version of Teela comes from the original minicomics and the modern Classics toys, and Skeletor's voice is closer to Frank Langella's than the nasally whine common to both animated versions. With Mattel dragging their feet on ever approving anything for the proposed live-action movie, this is the next best thing we have...and fortunately, it would appear at this early stage to be pretty decent.

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "A Song of Fire and Iron"

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "A song of fire and iron" by Gabriella5Greene551

Logline: Per reader Anya Glass, who sent in the tip, "You must read A song of fire and iron. It's a transformers fanfic with singing, zombies, xenomorphs, and a terrible Mary Sue named Giselle Yvonne delacriox."

Acts Involved: Skull splitting, zombie biting, interspecies romance, and Optimus Prime considering sex with an underage human, which is to say statutory rape. Guess he didn't get the memo from Michael Bay about carrying a copy of the law around in his wallet.

Participants: Giselle Yvonne Delacroix, Optimus Prime, Aliens, The Walking Dead.

The Live Reading/Performance...

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "The Quest for the Holey Grail Part 3" by KingAurthr2

Friday, September 5, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

This is it. The final installment of the adventures of Gandalg, Argaron, Scoody-boo, Hairy Poter, Dcoctor Who, Indian Jones and Professor Snake as they take on the Drak forces of Voldemore, Sauraon, the Man Made of Blod and more.

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Such an Ignorant Thing to Do, if the Russians Love Their Furries Too

Thursday, September 4, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Thanks to the glory of Russian dashboard cameras, we get to see a four-on-one beatdown delivered by Mickey Mouse, Skrat, SpongeBob and a fourth I can't identify.

I guess that's what happens when you're country is run by an evil version of Dobby the Elf - all the other formerly cute characters follow suit.

Or as a great man might say: in Russia, SpongeBob kicks YOU square in pants.

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If North Korea Ever Goes to War Against Cinderblocks, They'll Probably Totally Win

Wednesday, September 3, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Their missiles fail, their military starves...but by golly, the North Korean army can put together a martial arts demonstration that's at least as good as the TV commercial made by that guy down at the strip mall who has a framed photo of Chuck Norris in his window!

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Who Is Adam Henry? The Answer May Surprise You...

Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hello, hello and thank you all for the words of support. Nothing P.O.'d me this week - how about that, so nothing to rant about, LOL. Was looking through the computer and I don't even have any new photos this week - must be slipping, so here's one of my ferret.

I just spent time still trying to get rid of my cold and trying to do appraisals in between sneezing. So I just poured another ice coffee and added some Coffee spirits - after all it has to be 5 p.m. somewhere in the world. That's also what I tell my mom when we go to Mexico and I am having a pina colada at 11 am. Yes, my 89 yr-old mom still corrects me, so don't feel bad. Hope all of our readers up in the Northern parts of California are okay and did not have damage from the recent earthquake, but it does look like the price of CA wine might be heading up. Napa really got hit hard.

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7 Hilarious U.S. Rip-Offs at England's Drayton Manor Theme Park

Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 6:00 am

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One of the ways to lure my wife to England for a vacation was the promise of seeing the Harry Potter studio tour outside of London. The other was Thomas the Tank Engine Land, which is a small corner of the larger theme park called Drayton Manor. Thematically, the larger park is a bit disjointed - it wants to have something for everyone, and thus there's no overarching theme. You have the Thomas rides for kids, from which adults without accompanying minors are actually banned; a small zoo tucked away from everything else that mostly seems to have emus; various high-intensity thrill rides, various not-so-thrilling rides, and rather disappointing food stands.

One thing that is clear is that whoever designed the park based parts of it on popular American theme parks...apparently without entirely understanding why. If Disneyland and Universal Studios are Superman, Drayton at times feels like Bizarro's cube-world...or an Axel Braun porn parody without any naked people. Here are its strangest interpretations of American attractions...

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