He's telling you stuff you already know...but doing it better than you. Because he's a thespian and stuff.
What would you add to his list of self-evident truths? For me, the key one he's missing is:
The coolest names end in "Man." The second-coolest names end in "-or." No good can come of names ending in "o," unless you're a cat-human hybrid.More >>
I feel like I should send one back saying "You get me hard (wick) at midnight."
The PONIES: The Anthology trilogy is a series of feature-length compilations of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan videos, largely comprised of short, Robot Chicken-style blackout gags (complete with static bumpers), typically running anywhere from a few seconds to half a minute. The Anthology series are really the only Pony fan videos that I make a point of watching, since they're curated, meaning they're somebody's idea of the best ones out there. Here are my personal favorites of those bests, running about 32 minutes total. Or 22 minutes if you skip 2012: A Pony Odyssey, as I suspect most do.
Luke's mother-in-law is former LAPD, a licensed property appraiser and a self-described crazy cat lady. None of which has prepared her for TR readers. All questions and answers are real.
Hello friends, and happy almost Valentines Day. Luke said something a bit back that all of my dolls, collections etc are still in boxes - well providing proof that they are not, I have sent LYT a picture of dolls out of boxes.
Okay, so...Shia LaBeouf makes a short film that gets called out for plagiarizing a Daniel Clowes comic. He repeatedly apologizes, but using the distinctly worded apologies of other people for other things. He apologizes again in skywriting, puts a paper bag over his head, and finally makes himself a living art exhibit, in what our regular commenter nix.nightbird rightly points out is also a rip-off of a previous, similar exhibit.
So what the hell is the point of all this? If I'm right - and I don't know if I am - it should have been obvious all along.More >>
Well, maybe not everything, but certainly the implication is there. All this week, Shia - or possibly a lookalike with that paper bag over his head - will be sitting in a room in an L.A. art gallery, open to the public. Visitors are invited to select an item from a table that features objects representing his movies: Transformers toys, an Indiana Jones bullwhip, whiskey and more. They then are invited to either forgive the actor for his transgressions, or humiliate him - either way, he will not react.
I'm guessing nobody's tried yet to really push the limits of HOW one humiliates him - so who wants to chip in on a plane ticket for Dr Abraxas to come visit Los Angeles?
Here are the things I know about Valrosa Beach after looking at its Kickstarter:
1. The use of 16-bit, SNES/Genesis style animation is not something I've ever seen before. A whole movie of it would be dubious, but certain trippy sequences? I'm down with that like Mario ducking a giant bomb.
2. The original synth music reminds me of what I loved when I was ten. I want the soundtrack yesterday. Or yester-decade...or three. Dammit, I'm older than I wanna be. But you get the full soundtrack for $5, and - obligatory Kickstarter-related dead-horse beating alert - I bet it'll be better than whatever dopey emo shit ZACH BRAFF puts in HIS Kickstarter movie!
3. The acting seems extremely dubious, if the director's performance in the pitch video (embedded below) is anything to go by. But he only wants five grand, and items 1 and 2 alone are probably worth it.
Look, even if this sucks, it's original. But if it fulfills all its potential, then, to steal a Miami Vice lyric, "I can feel nerds cumming in their hair tonight, oh Lord!" That is what Phil Collins was singing, right?More >>
Who were those stylish, square-masked individuals? Perhaps one of many things you missed over the weekend, some of which have been slapped together into this one big-ass post for your enjoyment.
This week's items compiled with the assist of SlyDante777, including tips from himself and Citrus_King, rkwsuperstar, Patch999, James.k.Polk, troi, Anyone00, Dr.Gonzo82, Gallen_Dugall, clone_boy99, aidan.jeans.More >>
Every few years, a game developer tries to take a shot at the MMO market, ever so dominated by Blizzard and their juggernaut, World of Warcraft. Many have faced this electronic Gom Jabbar, trying and failing, or worse, trying and dying in the best of Bene Gesserit traditions. While nothing has been successful in knocking Warcraft off the top of the MMO charts, RPG masterminds Bethesda have locked and loaded a large caliber shell aimed at dethroning Blizzard: Elder Scrolls Online. It's a well calculated strategy; previous entries Morrowwind, Oblivion and most recently Skyrim all won immense amounts of acclaim. With Skyrim alone selling over 20 million copies, it's safe to say the series has a fanbase that could take on WoW.
We here at Topless Robot got to spend a long, caffeine and Cheetos filled weekend with the latest entry, Elder Scrolls Online. Here's your first look at what you can expect when you step into the online world of Tamriel. Is Elder Scrolls Online worth $60, $14.99 a month, and everyone you've ever loved? Let's find out, starting with the good...More >>