The Mission: Impossible 5 Trailer, With Tom Cruise Replaced by Chris Farley

Friday, July 31, 2015 at 11:45 am


I suppose we can call this Rogue Waistline.

The world is safe, provided that the movie's MacGuffin happens to be stashed IN A VAN BY THE RIVER!

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The 10 Nerdiest MMA Fighters and How They'd Take You Out

Wednesday, July 29, 2015 at 5:00 am

Tamdan McCrory

If you were raised on the action movies of the '80s and '90s, you were taught to fear men who wore leather jackets and sported facial scars just as you were cautioned to avoid jocks, bros and the like in the hallways of high school. When boxing was the king of combat sports - of all sports, for that matter - you could (generally) tell you were looking at a fighter, be it Mike Tyson, Oscar De La Hoya or Joe Frazier. They just had a certain look to them.

But this is the new age, and MMA is the king of new-age sports. Sure, some fighters dotting the UFC's Octagon look precisely how you'd imagine them to, but in a sport where looks and a six pack mean about as much to winning a fight as a high GPA does to getting friends, you truly never know what someone is capable of - nor can you tell one by their interests - until you've seen him or her in action.

These are the 10 nerdiest fighters in MMA (in order), along with the sound and inarguable logic behind how they would take you out in the unlikely event you found yourself opposite them in the cage.

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The Sights, The Sounds, The Hentai: 17 Weird And Cool Things From Otakon 2015

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 5:00 am


Conventions, once reserved only for discussion in the most heated of USENET discussion boards, have become something of a pop-cultural force this past decade. No cognizant man, woman, or child isn't aware of San Diego Comic-Con, for good or ill.

Myself, though? You dumb nerds can stand in line for 5 hours to blurrily watch the Game of Thrones cast get asked terrible questions; I'll be at places like Otakon and making jokes about hentai.

I had a blast this weekend at Otakon in muggy, sunny Baltimore, so here are 30 things I saw, to mark the occasion!

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Weekend Open Thread and Links: Gorilla Lovin' Edition

Friday, July 24, 2015 at 4:00 pm


-Japan's newest dating sim involves gorillas, because they've run out of every other animal.

-I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us Optimus.

-Shakespeare, performed by real sheep.

-Funko is making WWE Mystery Minis, but it seems doubtful Hulk Hogan will make the lineup now.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to get a birthday party ready for myself. Talk about whatever you like below.

Ian McKellen Wants to Tell You How to Make Scrambled Eggs

Thursday, July 23, 2015 at 2:04 pm


After hanging around Hobbits all that time, he ought to know how to make a good breakfast, though his "old family recipe" seems pretty much like every recipe for them that I've ever heard.

Still, when Sherlock Gandalfneto tells you how to make eggs, YOU SHALL NOT PASS this up. Though I admit I was hoping for a Battle of the Five Cheeses omelet.

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Building Darth Vader Armor out of Sex Toys

Wednesday, July 22, 2015 at 8:00 am


File this under "because we can" - with the help of some special effects gurus, adult film actress Kayla-Jane Danger has created a Dark Lord out of a dick horde. 300-plus vibrators, butt plugs, paddles, latex fists and more went into creating this battery powered, vibrating Anal-kin Skyfucker - and like the real Vader, you're gonna want to keep him away from younglings.

Weirder still for me - one of the FX guys, Tom Devlin, once made me into a zombie on a movie set. Now I'm starting to worry where his hands had been before he stuck contacts in my eyes. Not blind yet, at least.

I can't embed the video for obvious reasons, but if you can claim to be 18, you can watch it online pretty easily. Umm...Yippee?

"Twinkle Tush" Covers Your Cat's Butthole With Bling

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 at 11:20 am


A.K.A. When it comes to cats, we're not that different from Japan. This mini-necklace that hangs around your cat's tail to cover its ass is described as "a gag gift," but it is nonetheless available for purchase.

I feel like we should make human-sized ones for plumbers. Oh, there's a promotional video, too...

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All 22 of Our Comic-Con 2015 Video Interviews in One Post

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 at 5:00 am


This is a wrap on our Comic-Con 2015 coverage, folks. And I happen to think that on a shoestring budget, with a team of one editor in San Diego, one in New York, and one correspondent in Hall H for one day, we stayed competitive with the big guys, who'll be doling out their coverage in drips and drabs for the next month or so while we're busy moving on.

Thanks to Jim for minding the fort and picking a Twitter fight with Max Landis, to Bryce for battling his way into Hall H, for Jason and Kyle who helped me do research, Julia for her "takeover" posts on social media, and Peggy who does my transcriptions. Being underdogs just means we try harder...and do better. I wish I could pay you all a million bucks.

Now, in case you missed any, here are all of our video interviews.

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What If One Direction Were Batman Villains?

Wednesday, July 8, 2015 at 4:45 pm

H/t to reader Megan for sending this over. I...think it's a sex ed lesson about puberty from Two Face?

10 Things That Sparked Our Attention at Anime Expo 2015

Monday, July 6, 2015 at 5:00 am

Liz Ohanesian
Los Angeles Convention Center's South Hall before the Exhibit Hall opened.
Anime Expo settled into its annual home, Los Angeles Convention Center, over Fourth of July weekend, bringing in Japanese pop culture fanatics from far beyond Southern California for four days of nerdery. I have attended every AX since 2008, which isn't that long considering that the mega-con will celebrate its 20th anniversary next year. However, I've attended enough times to learn to never have any expectations about the event.

Anime Expo is constantly evolving, both as trends in anime shift and as new generations of fans enter the convention world. When I started attending the convention, the love for series like The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Ouran High School Host Club were strong. In the years that followed, that love has shifted over and over again. I'm not quite sure what was the hit anime this year, although there seemed to be a lot of fans of Tokyo Ghoul roaming the halls. I can't keep up with the anime crowd. Heck, I didn't know what "shipping" meant until earlier this year and I'm still not sure why the kids are so into pastel alpacas.

Still, some things will stay the same. There will always be a point where the crowd and heat become too much handle and a point where you're overjoyed with everything you've seen and heard. Here's my round-up of the weekend.

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