Hide Your Booze Inside American Sniper-ish Fake Baby

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 12:00 pm


An expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby. Drinking in public is now adorable.
American Sniper takes a lot of crap for the scene in which Bradley Cooper holds an obviously fake baby as if it's his real kid, but what if there was a good reason? Could it have concealed a flask of vodka to ease his nerves?

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For the First Time, You Can Visit the Actual Sets from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood

Tuesday, January 27, 2015 at 12:00 pm

Heinz History Center

Don't pretend you're too old to enjoy this.

It may be a bit of a hike for many of us, bit if you happen to be anywhere near Pittsburgh, the John Heinz History Center is currently playing host to Mr. Rogers' living room and the entire Neighborhood of Make-Believe. My head wants to make some kind of off-color joke, but my heart is unable.

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Ohio Man Forced to Remove Zombie Nativity...AFTER Christmas

Wednesday, December 24, 2014 at 4:30 pm


Jasen Dixon of Sycamore Township, Ohio, decided to build a Christmas Nativity scene in his yard with the materials he had to hand. And as it happens, he's the manager of a horror attraction called "13 Rooms of Doom," which led to a whole bunch of his spare zombies being repurposed/ Unsurprisingly, now he's been hit with a citation to take it down. He claims his free speech is being infringed upon. Neighbors claim it's a zoning issue:

Sycamore Township, which is outside Cincinnati, does not allow structures to be located in the front or the side yard to occupy more than 35 percent of the area. Also, the primary structure must be 3 feet from the street, and 6 feet from the house.
But the small print makes it all sound like an exercise in wrist-slapping:
Dixon, who said about 40 people take photographs of what he calls "the world's first zombie Nativity scene," has until Dec. 26 to take down the scene.
Oh, so he doesn't have to take down his Christmas scene until after Christmas? That sounds like win-win to me.

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This Music Video Starring Sock Puppets Will Redefine the Term in Terrible Ways.

Monday, December 22, 2014 at 10:00 am


I was well aware of the term "sock puppet" to describe a blog commenter who is actually, secretly, the blog author praising himself (yes, I am in fact SlyDante777. Truth is out).

I was also aware of the many things pro-wrestler Mick Foley has done with a sock puppet, and the many things teenage boys are purported to do with them (I somehow never made use of that particular prop myself, but I take the words of others).

But I wasn't aware of the use of the term as utilized in this song by Berlin-based Sticky Biscuits. And once you're made aware, believe me, you can never be unaware.

It's all quite cute...until it isn't. Audio is NSFW.

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What You Do With a Manicorn Hand-Puppet Is Your Business

Monday, December 8, 2014 at 10:00 am


Forget Manos - "mani" is the REAL hand of fate. And I think we all know what people might do once they get them "in hand." According to the description, "Unicorn Man," well, "Runs the biggest corporation in Fantasyland." I would assume he therefore has a firm grip on its operations, running up and down the long, hard, corridor of power to ensure a decent output.

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Super Terrific American Thing: Shittens

Tuesday, December 2, 2014 at 2:30 pm


For use on babies, pets AND adults? Well, I mean, I wasn't gonna buy it if it were only two out of three.

No One Wants Poop On Their Hands... Clean Up Any Mess With ShittensTM

Dammit, you trademarked that? I was going to.
Shittens are disposable, mitten-shaped moist wipes. While old fashioned, square wet wipes put your hands at risk for all kinds of accidental fecal contamination, the genius mitten shape of a Shitten provides not only safety from poop, but on a larger scale, emotional peace of mind.

The GENIUS mitten shape, you say? And emotional peace of mind? How ever did you survive wiping your own ass these many years, you presumably grown-up person, you?
If you turn them inside out they are perfectly reusable for a second time wipe.

That would seem to defy the point.

Oh, but then we get to the Amazon customer reviews...

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The Nightmare Before Christmas Remade With Funko Reaction Figures and Kitten Heads

Tuesday, November 11, 2014 at 4:00 pm


True, this film parody from the Pet Collective features annoying narration, bad voice-acting, and is best watched with the sound down so you can just be mesmerized by the bizarre images...but can't you also say all those things about the ACTUAL Nightmare Before Christmas?

Please note that the cats are alive. Nobody decapitated any feline friends to make this happen. That's just what we call movie magic (and I'd buy toys of these versions in a meowtherfucking heartbeat).

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91 Things We Saw at the Hello Kitty 40th Anniversary Exhibit in Downtown Los Angeles

Friday, October 17, 2014 at 6:00 am


Hello Kitty turns 40 this year - but just like you're not supposed to call her a cat, don't call it a birthday. Sanrio is very persnickety about semantics, and would rather you called this the 40th anniversary of her first appearance.

In honor of their meowing mascot hitting the middle-age mark, Sanrio is hosting several celebrations, including an exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in downtown Los Angeles. Yes, we were there, and yes, we have a cat-ton of pictures to show of this part-history, part-art-inspiration exhibit. Let the cuteness commence!

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Finally, Inevitably, There Is a Porn Haunted House Attraction

Thursday, October 16, 2014 at 2:30 pm


It is, of course, in San Francisco. Billed as something that might scare you and give you a boner, or both (or for Abraxas, Tuesday), Kink.com's Halloween attraction is a

BDSM-inspired, immersive theater/haunted house experience through the basement sets of the world's largest porn studio in the historic San Francisco Armory

Over-the-top production featuring contortionists, nude models body painted by the city's top talent, prosthetics, animatronics, interactive art and a menacing cast of characters
60-minute tours with photo opportunities unlike anything you have seen before. An event sure to become an annual favorite for 18+ fans of horror and adult content

So who's going to be the first to create a fan-fiction haunted house? You know there has to be one coming somewhere.

h/t Julie Scott

The 18 Strangest Versions of Dracula

Wednesday, October 15, 2014 at 6:00 am


Could Bram Stoker ever have imagined, back in 1897, that the character he created would one day be used for everything from pornography to breakfast cereal? It's hard to imagine that even Bela Lugosi could have guessed that the accent he gave Dracula would still be in use, more than 80 years later, spoofed by George Hamilton, or teaching kids to count, or marketing everything from car insurance to debt-consolidation loans ("because debt sucks!") to throat lozenges. Thus Dracula Untold, the title of the Drac movie that opened this past weekend, seems almost impertinent. Can there be a variation on the Dracula tale left untold?

Here are 18 strong contenders for the most peculiar takes on Count Dracula in popular culture. Note: These aren't just vampires in the Dracula mode; all of them had, at minimum, to have either the title "Count" or the prefix "Drac-" or the suffix "-ula" somewhere in their name.

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