“As we see it, he’s a very twisted character,” producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura exclaimed to MTV News, telling us the key to Cobra Commander lies in his gritty past…and that we’ll see every grimy piece of it. “As the backstory evolves, you discover why his personality [is like that].”

While stopping short of drawing parallels between Gordon-Levitt’s PG-13 villain and that of Heath Ledger’s terrifying Joker, di Bonaventura does find one noteworthy comparison. “I thought what was great in ‘The Dark Knight’ was that Heath kept telling you different stories [about his past] so you never knew what it was, and they were all spooky and crazy. [In our film] you get to see it, and you get to understand what’s happened to this guy.”

Well, I can see how THE FUCK?! So you think Ledger's Joker's lack of an origin was great. And so you'll be giving Cobra Commander as clear an origin as possible in G.I. Joe. SIR, YOU MAKE NO SENSE. PLEASE STOP MAKING THIS MOVIE. (Spoiler Warning) Now, given that most reports have Cobra Commander—and it's probably worth pointing out that Gordon-Levitt is 27, making his Cobra Commander very precocious to be leading a terrorist organization so young—as Duke's childhood friend, di Bonaventura has found the one origin story that is stupider than the comics one about how he was a used car dealer named Fred.

Incidentally, di Bonaventura says that C.C. will have both a mask and a weird voice, but not the ones you grew up with and loved. Why would anybody do something to appease the fans? That never works!

While the film will draw from the comics for inspiration, di Bonaventura revealed that there’s one aspect from the cartoon that will carry over…the character’s unique voice. While it won’t exactly match the classic high-pitched wail from the show, the producer says Gordon-Levitt will leave his own vocal stamp on Cobra Commander. “He has an interesting voice. He definitely has a take-off on that. I actually found the voice a little weak in the show…I’m sure I’ll get killed for saying that. I don’t know, it always seemed kind of silly. Hopefully we’re going to be a little more menacing.”

And while the character is widely known for his blue mask, don’t expect that to necessarily carry over in whole either. “We’ll see Cobra Commander in the Cobra mask [but] it will not be like the show,” said di Bonaventura, who also promised they aren’t going to the comics for that one either. “I found some of the [mask] aspects a little KKK for me,” he said, “so we tried to steer away from that image. We thought that might be a little much.”

Yes, god forbid the LEADER OF A FUCKING TERRORIST ORGANIZATION LOOK FRIGHTENING OR INTIMIDATING I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU GAH MY BRAIN—ANEURYSM ARRGHH THE PAIN AAAADW$#!#$^^*&*&#$

BARNEY WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND IT WAS A BRIGHT SUN SHINY DAY! IT HAD RAINED THE NIGHT BEFORE SO EVERYTHING WAS REALLY FRESH SMELLING AND DOGGYS WERE GOING POOPYS AND STUFF LOLZ!

Barney: It is a nice day out I tihnk I will go to Arthurs house!

Barney goes to arthurs house!

Barney: OH I LOVE that little ardvark he makes me feel tingly adn happy in my puprle penis!

Obviously, this is meant to be performed live, hence the play-like dialogue attributions.

then!
Barney says: Hey arthur I really need to go poopy mind if I use your toilet! ehe hehhh hee hee!

Arthur: WOW! INEED TO GO POOPY TOO! LETS GO POOPY TOGETHER!!!

Whatever you do, DON'T HIT THE JUMP.

• Columbia has ordered a script for Ghostbusters 3.
• This script is being written by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, who both write and produce The Office, along with Harold Ramis, who co-wrote both original movies with Aykroyd.
• The script reportedly calls for the original Ghostbusters team of Murray, Ramis, Aykroyd and Hudson, but also that "next-generation" team that Apatow's boys have been rumored to play.
• None of the original Ghostbusters actors have been approached about the movie, and won't be until the script is finished.
• Since Dan Aykroyd knew two "hot young writers" were working on a script when he was interviewed a few days ago, he knew about the project. Reportedly, Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman also apparently knew about the project.
• Here's where it gets awkward: Apparently Columbia Pictures originally ordered a script treatment from just Stupnitsky and Eisenberg, which was awesome....but no one had told Ramis, who was pissed, and when he read it, said it was terrible. So that's why Ramis is now working with both writers on a new script...and according to some, all of Ramis' ideas are significantly more terrible than the first, Ramis-less script. But put a big "reportedly" on all of this.
• In Aykroyd's interview yesterday, he said Apatow's posse was not involved, but he would love them to be.
• If Rick Moranis can't be bothered to spend a few hours in a comfortable recording booth for a Ghostbusters videogame, it is doubtful he'd agree to be in a new movie.

I don't want to get in the mess of the script, since god only knows what is true or not. But I will say that I'm totally down with a Ghostbusting team of Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and potentially Steve Carell or Jason Segel. I think that'd be awesome as hell, and like everyone in their 30s, I have to imagine they love the original film as much as we do (who doesn't love Ghostbusters?) and would jump at the chance. I'm sure some of you disagree, so feel free to call for my death in the comments. (Via /Film, Yahoo, Pajiba)

The recent American release of Spaced may have earned the cult Britcom an entirely new legion of fans, but to owners of region-free DVD players—many of whom purchased their machines years ago just so they could check out the show—it was old hat. As Blu-ray, torrents and On-Demand programming slowly knock DVD off of its throne of dominance, true videophiles who prefer to own physical discs can still seek out plenty of rare offerings that have never been issued as NTSC Region 1 releases. There’s a number of reasons why certain titles aren’t available on DVD in the U.S. of A., from legal difficulties and music clearance issues to the simple fact that some releases just wouldn’t sell well enough for major distributors to incur the costs of producing and marketing them. Region-free players neatly sidestep these problems and allow viewers to own films, concerts and TV shows that they probably wouldn’t get the opportunity to otherwise. (The fact that the players and import DVDs are easy to track down online is nice too). Here’s a look at 8 domestically unavailable DVDs that more than make up for the low cost of a region-free player.

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

Season One of The Legend of Neil comes to an abrupt but all-too-apt end today, as Neil fights the hideous boss monster of Level One, with a surprise guest appearance by Zelda and Ganon. I hope to hell this means there'll be a Season Two, as it turns out I have a soft spot for masturbating, auto-erotic asphixiating heroes transported into NES games. who knew?

Meanwhile, del Toro is awaiting word on whether Universal will embrace a follow-up to "Hellboy 2: The Golden Army." The big-budget film opened in the heat of summer and fell short of blockbuster status in the U.S. but has performed well overseas.

"I think they’ll decide when the last euro hits the piggybank," del Toro said. "We laid the groundwork to have a magnificent third act. I’d like to return to an action franchise with 60-year-old actor Ron Perlman, because he’ll be scratching at that age when I get to it."

Langley said the studio is interested and may work with del Toro to add a TV series and online segments to broaden the following before making the series finale.

A Hellboy TV series? Really? That would be awesome. Call me crazy, but I can't help but feel Hellboy is wasted on the movies—he's always going to be too unknown and too weird for mass audiences, but he'd be just right on the Sci-Fi Channel or USA or something. Plus, Mike Mignola's characters and the B.P.R.D. world are so great, they really deserve to be seen every week, as opposed to one two-hour movie every three or so years.

It's so weird how Variety just tossed this out there. Was this already known, and I was just drunk that week and missed it? Why didn't any of you bastards tell me? I blame you all.

CS/SHH!: Is Harvey Dent alive?
Aaron Eckhart: No. He is dead as a door nail.

CS/SHH!: So he's not coming back?
Eckhart: He ain't coming back baby!

CS/SHH!: I was hoping he would.
Eckhart: No. I asked Chris [Nolan] that question and he goes, "You're dead" before I could even get the question out of my mouth. "Hey Chris, am I?" "You're dead!" Alright, cool

Eckhart goes on to say that the Joker was planned to be part of the third movie, but Heath Ledger's death screwed all that up. So probably no Joker, and definitely no Two-Face. Because he's dead. DEAD. DEEEAAAAAAADDD.

• Para-Viper
• Cobra Bazooka Trooper
• Zartan (Swamp Squad)
• Agent Trakker (M.A.S.K.'s Matt Trakker)
• Airborne
• Cobra EELS
• Pilot Scarlett
• Cobra Flint

Incidentally, that Flint in Cobra gear comes from the Revenge of Cobra movie—the one with the weather dominator—making him a swell addition to the recent DVD battle pack, including the Roadblock-sexually-assaulted-by-vines figure.