Topless Robot

Ghost in the Shell, Re-Translated for American Audiences

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:00:39 -0500

Just. Fucking. Brilliant. In all honesty, this covers the exact same themes of the nature life in the face of technology as the original Mamoru Oshii-directed movie, and is about 9000% more coherent. And that's with all the sirens and screaming. Much thanks to my sister-in-arms Liz over at LA Weekly for the tip.

Mo' Lego Single Figures, Mo' Problems

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:31:54 -0500

Mainly, these mo' problems will be for my free time and my wallet, because I have got to get my hands on these things. A Lego Dracula? A Lego Spartan? (Be still my Latin majoring heart!) A Lego Mexican with a Lego sombrero? FUCK AND SI. these guys aren't due until fall of 2010, which is good, because I haven't even found wave one of these little badasses yet -- have you guys? (Via 16bit and Eurobricks)

Chris Nolan Is Kind of Vaguely in Charge of a Superman Movie Reboot

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:33:34 -0500

A lot of you have sent me the news that Warner Bros. has made Chris Nolan, director of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, in sort of advisory role on the next Superman movie. I appreciate it, but I don't think we need to get too worked up about this. Here's why:

• We have no idea how much power Nolan actually has. I'd be shocked if he got to veto plans outright, especially if WB hires a big-name or even medium-name director. It's more likely he'll just be a voice in the room when the executives -- who have been fucking this up for years now -- meet.
• More importantly, how often will he actually be in that room? He's finishing Inception now, and then WB wants him to start on Batman 3 ASAP. I'd put down any amount of cash that between advising on Superman or making Batman 3, WB would rather he work on Batman.
• This Superman movie still doesn't exist. There are no scripts, no directors, no ideas. All Nolan can even say at the moment is "Let's not do something tremendously stupid," which, while good advice, is kind of vague.

This obviously isn't bad news, but let's not think this means the second coming of the Superman movie franchise. Seriously, Nolan is out of that meeting room even one day, and that could be the day they hire Tyler Perry to play the son of Richard Pryor's character from Superman III.

So You Think You Can Gantz

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:05:04 -0500

Natsuna Watanabe can Gantz. Mostly because she's playing Kei Kishimoto in the live-action movie of the preposterously violent, often quite naughty manga -- well, that, and she's pictured above. I'm not going to lie; that's a hell of a picture. I can't imagine that Ms. Watanabe managed to slide into that outfit by herself; it probably takes a team of assistants, including one to cover her in baby powder first, so she doesn't chaff. Best job in Japan? I'd say odds are good. (Via AnimeVice)

DVD Day: February 9th, 2010

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:00:25 -0500

• Stargate: SGU-1
Wait a second. Does this mean the show's real name is "Stargate: Stargate Universe-1"? Fantabulous.

• Dante's Inferno
The anime of the videogame based on the classic work of literature in that a character is called Dante and it takes place in hell. I'll pass, thanks.

• The Guild Season 3
Felicia Day and pals continue to have wacky hijinks in and out of the World of Warcraft. I think. Probably. I haven't watched it.

• Bushido: The Cruel Code of the Samurai
Apparently this is a classic Japanese movie about several generations of a samurai family that won some awards. Sounds kind of cool.

• XIII: The Conspiracy
All I know about XIII is that it's a French spy comic, and the only reason I know that is because of that PS2 game from a few years ago. I didn't know there had been a movie starring Val Kilmer until I got on Amazon about 20 minutes ago.

I Hope Bruce Wayne Never Returns

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:20:16 -0500

Seriously, DC. If it means I can just read about Bruce Wayne kicking ass throughout time and him putting odd bat-logos on a variety of costumes, I'm honestly not sure if I'd mind him never getting back to the present. Much like the Bat-Pilgrim was the cover of Return of Bruce Wayne #2, Bat-Beard the Pirate here is the cover to #3. If you don't find the idea of a Batman-Pirate to be totally awesome, I... well, I honestly can't fathom that anyone would have that opinion, let alone why. Head over to DC's Source to see cover #4 and, uh... "Bat" Masterson.

Nerd/Booze News Convergence: There's a Sale on Skywalker Wine!

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:33:43 -0500

Oh, I love it when my interests collide like this! Francis Ford Coppola's winery is offering a 25% off sale on bottles of their 2006 Skywalker Ranch Merlot and Chardonnay, so ~$20 and ~23, respectively. I like to think the grapes are crushed personally by the bare feet of George Lucas himself, but that might not strictly be the case (look, I know I'm usually first in line to bitch about the prequels, but if I could drink wine made personally by George Lucas' feet, I would do so instantly. I fully admit this). Anyways, use those links above to buy the wine and enter "THEFORCE" in the coupon code -- it's good until February 15th, 2010, but be careful, because not every state allows booze to be shipped. (Via /Film)

You Could Have Owned the Terminator Franchise

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:47:10 -0500

Admittedly, you would have needed $30 million, which not an inconsiderable sum. But for TV networks and movie studios, $30 mil is nothing -- especially for a franchise whose worst two installments (3 and Salvation) earned $433 million and $375 million worldwide. And yet, the Terminator franchise sold for $29.5 million to... well, let me let ex-sister-in-law Nikki Finke of Deadline explain:

I've learned that the auction for the Terminator movie, TV program, and other spin-off rights just ended after a marathon bidding session today that stretched from 3 PM this afternoon until 8 PM tonight. Both Sony Pictures and Lionsgate separately were bidding for the franchise, and then joined up after the first round was completed. "We're going to fight one hell of a fight," a Lionsgate insider told me in advance. Its plans were for "a complete re-boot, back to basics, with real emotional stories, and effects that will be secondary.

Alas, the studios didn't come away the winners -- which, I'm told, prompted a furious Sony Pictures Entertainment's president of worldwide affairs Peter Schlessel to "storm out" of the Downtown LA offices of FTI Capital Advisors holding the auction. (Sony had distributed Terminator 4: Salvation internationally.) Instead, Halcyon Holding Corp accepted the $29.5 million bid from, of all parties, the debtholder which pushed it into bankruptcy, Santa Barbara-based hedge fund Pacificor. (This is the same Pacificor whom Halcyon accused in a lawsuit of extortion, bribery, and fraud and demanded $30M in damages.)

So. Sony and Lionsgate -- fuck, Sony and anyone -- couldn't outbid the company that the Terminator rights holders had recently sued? Recently sued from more than they sold the whole fucking Terminator franchise to? Call me crazy, but I think some shenanigans might be going on here. Ah, well. The only real losers here are the Terminator fans. No big deal.

Reminder: Bioshock 2 Seems Pretty Good

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:11:13 -0500

It's also out today, so if you wanted to buy it, today is the first day which you could do so. GameTrailers made the above montage of video clips from the game's development over the last couple of years, which I think is fantastic -- it's great seeing all the old promos and footage, and it gives a pretty swell overview of the game overall. I mean, I did catch myself drooling about mid-way through the video, so I'm assuming I was liking what I was seeing.

The 21 Greatest Medicom Kubrick Figures

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:05:05 -0500

The Medicom Toy Company is based in Japan, but given their amazing output over the years you'd be forgiven if you thought that their corporate headquarters were in Awesomeville or on Shithouse Bonkers Toy Island. Medicom's most significant releases are Kubricks, terminally cute block figures that appear to be the offspring of Legos, sunshine and puppy dog smiles. Having licensed every property from Sesame Street to Planet of the Apes, the company continues to release highly collectible Kubricks that are available through your favorite comic store and online toy dealer.

The toys take their brand name from Stanley Kubrick, and the fact that there has yet to be any Kubricks based on the director's films is an example of the wonderful frustrations that they inspire. The problem with the damn things is that they often come in those irritating so-called "blind boxes," so you never really know exactly which one you are buying unless you go through the hassle of trying to rip the suckers open in the store. Another issue is that Medicom is apparently run by cruel geniuses who create chase Kubrick figures that are terrific and therefore impossible to find. Equal parts public service and dick move, this Daily List celebrates the 21 greatest Kubrick figures released thus far. You may not know these exist, but good luck living without them once you do. Be warned though, these toys tend to be as costly as they are cool. ]]> Continue reading "The 21 Greatest Medicom Kubrick Figures" >

TR Heroes Live-Blog 2-15: The Circus Is Leaving Town

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:30:05 -0500

<a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php/option=com_mobile/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=1284799414" >TR's Heroes Live-blog 2-15</a>

Dolph Lundgren: Greatest Man Alive

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:00:42 -0500

I... I have no words for this video. It was sent to me by GalvaTRION, and it apparently from a Sweidhs show/event called the Melodifestivalen held last week. After a minute of Swedish people talking to each other in the dark, this video contains more awesome insanity and insane awesomeness than I have ever witnessed before in my entire life. After bursting out with a torch, here is what Dolph Lundgren does in this video:

• Sings an Elvis song
• Dances
• Plays an awesome drum solo
• Breaks several wooden boards
• Breaks several blocks of ice... with one chop
• Returns to finish the song
• Has sex with all eight of his female back-up dancers, at once, and satisfies them all (I assume this happens immediately after they exit the stage)

And he does all of this in a tuxedo. You know, I've often wondered what the platonic ideal of awesomeness would be -- the most perfect representation of awesomeness that all other awesomeness is but a reflection of. I am wondering no longer.

Well, at Least Thor's Still Blond

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:17:17 -0500

Since Planet Hulk came out last week, a trailer for Marvel and Lionsgate's next direct-to-DVD cartoon movie was included, that being Thor: Tales of Asgard. It's about young Thor searching after the sword of Surtur and getting Asgard into a war with the frost giants or something or other. I'm trying to avoid my traditional bitchings nowadays (with a limited amount of success, admittedly) so let me try and bring up my thoughts through the new information this trailer presents to us.

• I'm not thrilled about watching a Thor adventure where he doesn't have Mjolnir. I mean, if I'm paying for Thor, I'm generally paying for hammer-time as well. Still, this movie is about young Thor, so I can let it go.
• I do like seeing Thor and Loki as brothers, before they were bitter enemies. That's cool.
• I am very concerned about Thor's line "That sword has taken its last life!" and Loki's "We're royalty, we're not made for adventure!" These are Norse gods we're talking about here. The only thing more ridiculous than Thor not being ready for adventure -- even as a tyke -- is him worrying that a weapon is too dangerous. even if you take into account that these are the Marvel versions of Thor and crew, doesn't this seems preposterously out of character? Shouldn't Thor get rid of Mjolnir and stay home to watch the Puppy Bowl repeats if he's so worried about weapons and incapable of going on adventures? (Via Geeks of Doom)

Ultimate Nerd Drinking Buddies: And the Winners Are...

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:15:47 -0500

So there were nearly twice as many entries in this weekend's TR contest as the week before. I would have assumed that more nerds had gotten angry than could imagine a drinking buddy, but I underestimated the power of booze and the chance to talk to our icons, alive, dead or fictional. I'm particularly gratified by everyone who sucked up said they'd like to have a drink with me. Here's hoping you guys can make SDCC this year, because I'll be doing another TR meet-up, and we can all have that drink then. Now,I'm going to talk about how awesome all the entries were in a minute, but for now, enjoy some of the shorter, more quotable entries that made me chuckle:

SpiderHyphenMan said:

Robert Downey Jr., in full Iron Man gear.

Boyle said:

Once again, those of us who would like to deep throat Joss Whedon are headed off at the pass by unreasonable restrictions. Oh, the humanity.

JTtheConqueror said:

Not sure if this is substantially nerdy, but Hunter S. Thompson would be the greatest. He'd bring booze, guns and drugs. Dangerous, yes. Can you trust him, no. Would you wake up with a Z carved into you're forehead, possibly. Would the house be destroyed, obviously. Is he dead yes. Holy shit I just realized I am describing Zombie Hunter S Thompson. excuse me while I trademark that horrifying image.

pumpkinguts said:

I would want to be stranded with William Shatner. He's banged tons of chicks and I'm sure he has some great stories, so that when my penis finally gets working again I can jerk off all day; however the icing on the cake would be that wherever we were stuck for the weekend I know he would have gotten a great deal from Priceline.com. Priceline Negotiator!

badmacktuck said:

Bill Nye the Science Guy (Secretly I'm just hoping he lets me wear his lab coat)

Joey said:

without doubt Alan Moore. in addition to conversing about the pros and cons of anarchy, i could glean valuable insight in the arts of beard maintenance and ingenious story-telling at the same time.

Wade vs The World:

I would pay anything to have shots with Brian Blessed just so we could raise our shot glasses high and toast.....HAWKMEN! DIIIIIIVE!

Farmboy said:

I'd tie one on with Lois Lane. We can hash out all her Clark/Superman issues over Bloody Mary's...with celery. SUSPICIOUSLY. MOIST. CELERY.

Screampants said:

Peter Cullen. Because I really want to hear what Optimus Prime sounds like when he's totally plastered.

LadyIslay said:

Although an unlikely choice for most nerds, I would totally choose Kryten. Let me explain: I'm not much of a drinker. I'm not much of a housekeeper, either. If Kryten was snow-bound in my home for several days, he would clean EVERYTHING... and find it all very satisfying. Laundry would be folded, sock drawers would be organised, dishes would be washed, windows would sparkle and toilet bowls would shine! Even better, when he was all done, he would probably love to kick back with a pair of knitting needles or be thrilled to do some scrapbooking. All I would need to do is make sure he felt appreciated. As an unexpected bonus, per the contest rules, Kryten doesn't even HAVE genitalia.

Murphy's Law said:

Even though they were already mentioned, im going to have to go with the MST3K crew. Just so i can finally have my dream of getting drunk and making Mystery Porn Theater 3000. Im not saying just any type of porn though, i mean porn thats more like a horror/mystery porn. We'll probably just end up yelling, "Dont go in there!!!" a bunch of times.

JazzyChazzy:

It would have to Milo Ventimiglia... Ventimigla... W/E. SO I CAN SPEND ALL NIGHT PUNCHING HIS DOUCHEY FACE IN. And then spend a couple of hours thinking up "Your face is so douchey" jokes, and then I'd break for tea, and then continue to pummel and mock his face.
DEAR LORD I HATE THAT MAN'S FACE.

Winners after the jump.
]]> Continue reading "Ultimate Nerd Drinking Buddies: And the Winners Are..." >

Bat-Pilgrim Gets It Together

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:55:43 -0500

On Friday, DC's Source released two covers for the upcoming Return of Bruce Wayne comic written by Grant Morrison and about the adventures of Bruce Wayne quantum leap-ing through time. The first cover had that Bat-themed caveman outfit we'd already seen, but the second had Bruce as a bat-themed pilgrim. It's above.

Seriously. A cross between Batman and a Thanksgiving pilgrim. I'm pretty much ready to award Return of Bruce Wayne the Best Comic of 2010 award right now. If we get a Batman/Roman soldier hybrid later on, my pants may actually fly off my lower torso in pure joy.