"Silent Night of the Living Dead" Nativity Set Casts Jesus, Parents as Zombie-Fighters

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 10:00 am

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The brain of the Son of God would probably be a pretty valuable morsel for zombie magi and shepherds consuming their own flocks...but fortunately, Joseph's packing a mean katana, and the virgin Mary's aim with a crossbow is as flawless as her immaculately conceived soul.

So if you like zombies, need an excuse to display them during the holiday season, but want to do so without actually defaming the baby Jesus, who looks here as he normally does in such displays, this might be the Kickstarter for you. If anybody's still offended, you can always paint a beard on Mary and say the baby's Brian of Nazareth instead.

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17 Things You May Have Missed This Weekend, From KFC Keyboards to Hamster Hot-Dogging

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 6:00 am

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A 16-disc set of Matt Smith's Doctor Who tenure is coming - and that's but one thing that came up in conversation over the course of the weekend thread. Compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair, here are some of the other stories you might have missed.

Tipsters this week included Gallen_Dugall, SlyDante777, Anyone00, troi, Rx79Immigrant84, Citrus_King

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Revoltech Darth Vader Welcomes the Weekend Open Thread

Friday, September 19, 2014 at 7:29 pm

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We probably didn't need yet another company to make Darth Vader, but it happened anyway. A few more things before everyone chips in...

-James Deen is presumably Dick Reckard in this NSFW Blade Runner porn pictorial.

-Bill Nye endorses this time-travel documentary Kickstarter.

-GWAR replaced Oderus Urungus with a woman named Vulvatron.

-David Ayer may do a Suicide Squad movie.

-Laser cannons on planes are already a thing.

-A Top Cat origin movie isn't the movie you need, but the prequel Mexico deserves.

-An L. Frank Baum biopic? Word to the wise - he's a little harder to whitewash than Disney in Saving Mr. Banks.

-Game of Thrones theme, '80s synth-style version, is the best thing today.

Ever After High Is Latest Mattel Toy Line to Get a Movie Before He-Man

Friday, September 19, 2014 at 1:30 pm

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Ever After High is basically the result of somebody at Mattel saying, "Hey, you know how great our Monster High stuff sells? Let's do the same thing but with fairy tales." And because the concept is almost exactly the same as about five other things out there (many of them owned by Disney), it's going to be a movie already.

Meanwhile - and I say this fully aware there will one day be innumerable "Zombie LYT masturbates to He-Man" comments, somewhere - Masters of the Universe continues to not happen. Because the best director they got decided it would be quicker and easier to get Jem made instead. When Hasbro raids your A-list to make their C-list, you have failed. I'm resigning myself to the fact that we'll probably see a live-action Equestria Girls before we get Eternia.

I READ YOUR FANFIC! "A Song of Fire and Iron" Part 2

Friday, September 19, 2014 at 12:00 pm

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "A song of fire and iron" by Gabriella5Greene551

Logline: Optimus Prime and Giselle Yvonne Delacriox continue their cross-species, post-apocalyptic love, even as they are beset by xenomorphs...and the jealousy of Ratchet and Megatron.

Acts Involved: Lots of sex metaphors involving a naked Giselle "sliding in and out" of Optimus in truck mode. Also, she's a werewolf. And she's still underage, so it's robosexual statutory rape.

Participants: Giselle Yvonne Delacroix, Optimus Prime, Aliens, Ratchet, Megatron, Sentinel Prime.

The Live Reading/Performance...

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More Kenner-Style Alien Figures, Including Chestburster Kane

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 5:58 pm

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Some of these were already chase figures in the mystery egg packaging, but now you can own them carded and Kenner style. This series includes two figures I don't think Kenner would ever have made - Kane with the acid-bleeding facehugger raping his throat, and Kane with the baby chestburster emerging and making a bloody mess. Then you also get a metallic xenomorph, and Ripley in a white spacesuit (no Ripley in undies? I mean, if you're gonna go non-PG with the blood, why not?

Like most figures in this style, they're $9.99. Unlike most of the rest, they're based on actual Kenner sculpts...all except these versions of Kane, which are newly done.

You can even pretend one is a Spaceballs figure, if you like.

Topless Toy Chest: Masters of the Universe Classics Rio Blast

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Rio Blast was one of my favorite figures as a kid, and I think a lot of that had to do with anticipation. I first heard of the character in one of the Star comics, in which he was partnered with Snout Spout - something I of course took as absolute canon from then on, not realizing that the Star comics were mostly just gratuitous plugs for whatever the newest toys were. But point being, I found out about the figure's existence the summer he came out in the U.S. - and had to go back to Ireland before being able to buy him. As Ireland was at least a year behind in terms of what toys they got, that meant I had no chance at getting Rio till Christmas

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Weekend Round-up and Open Thread, Anyone? Bueller?

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 6:23 pm

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SWE Brick

-A Lego Ferris Bueller diorama just won a Swedish "Adult Fans of Lego" contest, where the goal was a build based around a vehicle.

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"Fall of Grayskull": Teaser for Masters of the Universe Fan Film Has the Power

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 12:00 pm

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This is one of the better looking fan film teasers I've ever seen, and it ought to be - filmmaker Daniel Benedict is a renowned He-Man superfan, having designed Castle Grayskullman and thereby won Mattel's Create-a-Character contest in the Classics toy line.

His movie, funded on Kickstarter, takes most of its stylistic cues from the 2002 cartoon and action figures, though the blonde bikini version of Teela comes from the original minicomics and the modern Classics toys, and Skeletor's voice is closer to Frank Langella's than the nasally whine common to both animated versions. With Mattel dragging their feet on ever approving anything for the proposed live-action movie, this is the next best thing we have...and fortunately, it would appear at this early stage to be pretty decent.

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "A Song of Fire and Iron"

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "A song of fire and iron" by Gabriella5Greene551

Logline: Per reader Anya Glass, who sent in the tip, "You must read A song of fire and iron. It's a transformers fanfic with singing, zombies, xenomorphs, and a terrible Mary Sue named Giselle Yvonne delacriox."

Acts Involved: Skull splitting, zombie biting, interspecies romance, and Optimus Prime considering sex with an underage human, which is to say statutory rape. Guess he didn't get the memo from Michael Bay about carrying a copy of the law around in his wallet.

Participants: Giselle Yvonne Delacroix, Optimus Prime, Aliens, The Walking Dead.

The Live Reading/Performance...

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