I READ YOUR FANFIC! "A Song of Fire and Iron"

Friday, September 12, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "A song of fire and iron" by Gabriella5Greene551

Logline: Per reader Anya Glass, who sent in the tip, "You must read A song of fire and iron. It's a transformers fanfic with singing, zombies, xenomorphs, and a terrible Mary Sue named Giselle Yvonne delacriox."

Acts Involved: Skull splitting, zombie biting, interspecies romance, and Optimus Prime considering sex with an underage human, which is to say statutory rape. Guess he didn't get the memo from Michael Bay about carrying a copy of the law around in his wallet.

Participants: Giselle Yvonne Delacroix, Optimus Prime, Aliens, The Walking Dead.

The Live Reading/Performance...

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Aw Hell...Batman and Robin Writer Akiva Goldsman Is Maybe Doing a Teen Titans Show

Thursday, September 11, 2014 at 4:30 pm

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Hey, guess what else?

It's just going to be called "Titans." Presumably so they can all be 20-something and get drunk and have sex without any of it being, y'know, illegal.

Or maybe Akiva Goldsman just wants to get Chris O'Donnell back. The project is "nearing a pilot order" at TNT, which means there's still hope it won't happen, but probably not a lot of hope it'll be good. Let's face it: we're talking about a guy who's had two cracks at Robin already, made him so annoying that he hasn't really been seen onscreen since (John Blake doesn't count), and this is the guy you're counting on to bring him back into live-action? Deadline says in this he'll be Dick Grayson as Nightwing, for what that's worth - I can't be entirely sure if that's actual description of the show, or Deadline going by a Wikipedia description.

Nipples on Batman = Nipples on Batman. Just sayin'.

8 September 11th Allegories That Science Fiction Just Got Wrong

Thursday, September 11, 2014 at 6:00 am

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When something goes wrong, particularly events that are almost too tragic to fathom, we seek solace though our media. After September 11th, 2001, likely the most tragic event any U.S. reader of Topless Robot would have lived through, there was a long period before the subject would be touched, and even longer before it would be focused on directly. Instead, creators focused on allegory to tell stories that touched on the tragedy of that September morning when lived changed around the world.

One of the first genres to tackle the subject of September 11th was science fiction. Earth was attacked by the Xindi in Star Trek: Enterprise, Fringe showed us a universe in which the attacks were foiled, and we experience unparalleled devastation when the Cylons attacked the Twelve Colonies of Kobol. Of course, for every good allegorical reference, there are some that don't quite work. Here are eight September 11th allegories that got it wrong.

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How the Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover Should Really Go Down

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 at 5:00 pm

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Jonathan Gran and Danielle Kogan boil the crossover down to its essential subtext in this fan film that may well end up being more interesting than the real deal. Just like the time I something something something Star Wars reference. Pass the beer. Mmmm, beer.

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Dum Dum Dugan, Jim Morita to Appear With Peggy Carter on Agents of SHIELD

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 at 11:30 am

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Well, it only makes sense - when you have a new show that's tangentially related, you spin it off with a guest appearance on the existing show. TV Guide debuted the above image, which makes it clear Peggy Carter's appearance will be in the past, alongside two cohorts we haven't seen since the first Captain America movie.

But I have an ulterior motive for posting this, and it involves the day the episode will run and a previous role of Mr. McDonough's...

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Pre-Posed 10-Inch Walking Dead Rick Grimes Figure Allegedly Has "Multiple Points of Articulation"

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 at 2:47 pm

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Says so in the product description: "This figure boasts multiple points of articulation." "Multiple" only has to mean more than one, of course. Aside from the elbows, I don't see where this figure can move. But his right arm does pop off, replaceable with an alternate depending on which weapon you want to have him holding.

It's a better forced-pose than the Daryl Dixon 10-incher that has him pointing the bow downward, anyway. But if McFarlane Toys is going back to less articulation and more detail, I wanna see more old-school dioramas of these guys killing walkers...or people.

Trailer for Loot Crate's Firefly Fan Film "The Verse"

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Not content with sending you monthly boxes of cool stuff, Loot Crate has now gone so far as to give you what Joss Whedon can't - more Firefly stories! Not featuring the original characters, thus far; as they put it, "There are lot of restrictions around that with unions and such. We did our darndest :)"

But they do appear to have pulled off Whedon's weirdly wordy future-speak, and CG that's, well...no worse than Babylon 5.

I've never been a Browncoat, but what do you guys think of this tease? Worth linking to the full thing when it hits, or no?

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TR's Summer Anime Wrap-Up: 5 We Don't Recommend and 3 We Do

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 at 6:00 am

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With the dog days of summer rapidly dwindling, I, as one of TR's resident anime-watchers, figured it was time to catch up on some of this season's current crop of anime shows currently available for streaming on various websites.

This season has had its share of duds and winners, the return of one of the biggest anime shows ever, and some surprises! Here, in no particular order, are my thoughts of summer 2014's anime!

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Top-Down Smackdown: That Time I Got to Pitch a Storyline to WWE

Monday, September 8, 2014 at 5:00 pm

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It was around 2006 - I think - that I was flown out to Titan Tower to interview for a job as a WWE writer; ECW was still a third brand and had just hired Monty Brown, while DX versus the Spirit Squad was the headlining feud that had just ended. I had passed the first round of cuts that involved submitting a storyline, and now it was time to meet the staff who would decide my fate. I had been given a lot of advice along the way, most of it involving erring on the side of caution. Don't act like a fan, look super-professional, don't express strong opinions on the current product because you don't know who you might be meeting that could have written it, and so on.

In retrospect, I was far too cautious. But that said, I'm also happy I don't currently live in Stamford, CT. The storyline I DID pitch was a combination of two factors - the then-hot rise of the mentally challenged Eugene as a fan favorite, and the current headlines about terrorist sleeper cells. My storyline involved DX looking for a third member, settling on Eugene, and having him turn on them to reveal he was actually a super-intelligent sleeper agent for Uncle Eric Bischoff all along...and there were more we didn't know about.

It wasn't bad for what it was - I may be imagining things, but I think they ended up using some of the peripheral stuff I had in there, or something like it. But it wasn't the thing I really wanted to pitch.

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New Sons of Anarchy Action Figures Include Blood-Splattered Katey Sagal

Monday, September 8, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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"Action figure" is a bit of a dubious term - these may prove an exception, but Mezco's previous offerings have not been especially poseable (Gemma features a whopping 2 points of articulation), nor do they really follow the "Todd McFarlane excuse" (McFarlane would claim that sometimes the word "action" referred to the figure's dynamic stance, rather than articulation). But either way, if you want a miniature Katey Sagal that looks like it just stabbed someone with a barbecue fork - and really, who doesn't? - Mezco's latest exclusive figures are for you.

And Al Bundy had best watch his ass. Though honestly, if Peg had been that dynamic, maybe he'd never have lost interest.