Fan-Made Buffy Animated Series Intro Looks Better Than the Real Show Was

Thursday, September 25, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Yeah, I admit I never cared much for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show (the movie's another story - Rutger Hauer and Pee-wee Herman should be vampires more often). That said, I would watch the shit out of animator Stephen Byrne's imagined animated show, because swinging giant monster fish around by the tail and Mega-Man-like hijinks atop a train are exactly the sorts of things more TV shows need and don't have.

Also, just like in the very best Buffy episode of all time, nobody talks. "More fish-smashing, less dialogue" ought to be the mantra for every TV show, except maybe Deadwood, where they could cuss out the fish real good and I'd totally roll with it.

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Here's Christopher Walken as Captain Hook

Wednesday, September 24, 2014 at 1:33 pm

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I wasn't paying much attention to the production of NBC's Peter Pan Live!, because honestly, why the fuck would anybody do such a thing?

Why, indeed.

Dammit! They had to go and cast Christopher Walken, and make him look like a plastic surgery nightmare. DAMN YOU NBC! Now I have to pay it some attention, and desperately hope everything else about it won't be terrible, even though it probably will be.

Were you expecting a more mature, reasoned assessment from me? NO! I WON'T GROW UP! Appropriate, right?

Image via Neil Meron

Lost Returns...in a Phineas and Ferb Cartoon

Wednesday, September 24, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Synergy! Just as Disney's Phineas and Ferb have helped to pimp recent corporate acquisitions Marvel and Star Wars, so now are they boosting subsidiary ABC network shows...though Lost has been off the air a few years now. Still, on the tenth anniversary of its debut, people are still talking about it, and still getting it wrong about the island being purgatory. (As everyone knows, the island in fact contained the power of Grayskull.)

In "Lost in Danville," airing Monday, the duo won't necessarily visit THE island, but they will be confronted by a mysterious hatch, a polar bear and a strange character played by Terry O'Quinn. Damon Lindelof came up with the story, so it probably won't make a lot of sense - but in a cartoon, that's okay.

Is this instant Dharma gonna get'cha?

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Agents of SHIELD SPOILER Thread - Season 2 Premiere

Tuesday, September 23, 2014 at 5:54 pm

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It's baaaaack!

Will it be informed in any way by what we learned about Kree from Guardians of the Galaxy? Probably not much. But they have Xena and Agent Cooper now.

Here Are Klingon Stormtrooper Ballerinas, Because Why Not?

Tuesday, September 23, 2014 at 2:30 pm

Thanks to Ashley Eckstein for this. Now, Ashley, when are you going to start selling tutus sized for these guys?

Top-Down Smackdown: The Worst John Cena T-shirt Yet

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 6:00 pm

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Really, WWE?

I don't expect you to be the hippest guys in the room, but I think literally every other licensed property that I like did a version of this LAST YEAR. Hell, even the Iron Sheik made his own personal take on it before you did.

Hey, how about a "Hard Rock Cafe" parody next?

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Gotham Live Discussion and SPOILER Thread - Premiere

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 5:00 pm

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I know you'll all have a lot to say. Don't let me down. And by the way, what gives Penguin the right to wear purple and green?

(Yes, there will also be a Top-Down Smackdown thread tonight.)

Police Academy Stars Reunite for Syfy's Lavalantula

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 3:42 pm

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Not just any Police Academy stars, either: Steve Guttenberg, Michael Winslow and Leslie Easterbrook will be L.A.'s last line of defense when...

Giant lava breathing tarantulas - Lavalantulas - erupt out of ancient volcanos in the Santa Monica Mountains, raining death and destruction
And there's even better news: the director is Mike Mendez, whose own Big Ass Spider! was a better giant monster campfest than pretty much any Syfy original.

Still - didn't one of you readers pitch almost this exact thing in one of our previous contests?

Talk and Relevant Discussions in Snark - Doctor Who "Time Heist" SPOILER Thread

Monday, September 22, 2014 at 8:00 am

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I'll kick things off with a few thoughts in the spoiler space below...

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Revoltech Darth Vader Welcomes the Weekend Open Thread

Friday, September 19, 2014 at 7:29 pm

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We probably didn't need yet another company to make Darth Vader, but it happened anyway. A few more things before everyone chips in...

-James Deen is presumably Dick Reckard in this NSFW Blade Runner porn pictorial.

-Bill Nye endorses this time-travel documentary Kickstarter.

-GWAR replaced Oderus Urungus with a woman named Vulvatron.

-David Ayer may do a Suicide Squad movie.

-Laser cannons on planes are already a thing.

-A Top Cat origin movie isn't the movie you need, but the prequel Mexico deserves.

-An L. Frank Baum biopic? Word to the wise - he's a little harder to whitewash than Disney in Saving Mr. Banks.

-Game of Thrones theme, '80s synth-style version, is the best thing today.