You know, we joke a lot here about how to reinvent classic properties, and sometimes we think of some very inappropriate suggestions for the source material. That's what fans do.

I never would have thought something like this would be done officially...

Then again, I never thought Archie would meet the Punisher either. If, as the image above suggests, Jughead has to be shot in the head to get his zombified brains blown out, my inner cruel adolescent will find massive retroactive satisfaction.

Because why should the inner child get all the attention? Inner sullen teen wants to play.

via MTV Geek

No, not the remake. An honest-to-goodness Sam Raimi fourquel. As per Bleeding Cool, the brothers Raimi are planning on writing the script this summer.

Now, they may not end up coming up with a script that they like, so this is extremely tentative. Nonetheless, it's hard not to speculate irresponsibly (and play with Photoshop) anyway. If the remake works, we could have a very unique situation of two simultaneous Evil Dead franchises in different realities...and then get Bryan Singer to combine them both somehow. Just kidding.

I hope.

Apparently the dead now do more than just walking. Because rigor mortis means he can stay hard FOREVER...

[considering how thoroughly NSFW or good taste the image is, I've put it behind the jump. You click it, you are responsible for what you cannot unsee]

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[Editor's note: So as not to be redundant, consider comments to this post to also be your Walking Dead open thread for the week. Because it's a shared thread, please preface any spoiler comments with "SPOILER" in all-caps - LYT]

Anyone who enjoys The Walking Dead will try to tell you it's all about the characters. "Oh, they're so complex," people will say. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but 12 million people aren't watching it for the characters - they're watching it to see zombies die in fun and exciting ways. Sure, not every zombie kill is innovative, or even particularly interesting, but occasionally a kill is invested with enough artistry, complexity or gravitas that it makes us want to stand up, applaud loudly and poor out a little bit of our beer for the fallen fleshbag. Here are ten zombie kills we felt were worth the price of admission.

10. Pay at the Pump (Season 1, Episode 1)

The first episode of The Walking Dead is not without numerous zombie murders. From casual shovel whacks to summary executions to sniper headshots, zombies get it bad from the beginning. But one of the most memorable kills in the episode is also possibly the creepiest. Taking a page from the Dawn of the Dead remake, the producers pitted Rick against a young zombie girl in her bathrobe and pajamas, wandering alone through a car-crammed gas station. As it began to move quickly towards him, Rick took the shot - it wasn't his first kill, but it was his first child zombie kill, and you can see from his face (and the zombie's slow-motion fall) that it pained him to do it. He would eventually go on to kill another young female zombie in Season 2, and in a similar fashion, but you never forget your first time.

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Looks like them Dixon boys are at it again. This worked out pretty well last week, so let's talk spoilers in comments below.

This, Shatner, and maybe a handful of regular commenters here, would be why we love Canada so. They actually debated zombie apocalypse issues in parliament.

via Buzzfeed

(I'll name the Dead Space winner tomorrow)

It's only 60 seconds long, but it kinda strikes the perfect balance between the old and the new. Not that you were asking for an Evil Dead remake in the first place, but if what you wanted in one was the original with more updated effects, these folks did a pretty good job.

If you dig it, the filmmakers would like you to vote for it in some contest or other. Check it out after the jump - it'll just take a minute...

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There are any number of reasons why an attack of George Romero-style zombies couldn't actually happen, from the dogs that would love to eat them some fresh bones to the fact that, well...dead things just don't fucking come back to life and start eating. That's what we call a "conceit."

So if a local TV station tells you that it's actually happening, as one in Great Falls, Montana did - don't believe them. It was almost certainly the work of hackers.

Unless that's just what the powers-that-be want you to think...

h/t Someguy

Skyfall - I wasn't the biggest fan of the last Bond movie - it felt more like a Sam Mendes movie than a Bond film, and I don't particularly like Sam Mendes' "people are isolated" shtick - but I'll be buying it anyway, most likely, because I got the box set for Christmas, it has a slot vacant in anticipation of this disc, and now I feel like I need to be a completist. Blofeld could not have come up with a more sinister marketing scheme. On the plus side, Craig is still a fine Bond, and his supporting cast nicely help to segue into an ending that brings our hero full-circle. On the downside, Roger Deakins' over-acclaimed cinematography may contain some beautiful shots, but it isn't always in service of the story. And Adele really should have said no to the back-up chorus on that last verse. Ah well. Doesn't matter what I say; it's forever a part of 007 lore now. The Blu-ray includes one commentary track by Mendes, and another with producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson with production designer Dennis Gassner.

In addition to Skyfall, other Bonds being rereleased on Blu-ray today include Diamonds Are Forever, Octopussy, GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, the Living Daylights and You Only Live Twice.

Rise of the Zombies/Mimesis: Night of the Living Dead - Imagine how different the face of modern horror might have been if George A. Romero's original Night of the Living Dead hadn't fallen into the public domain. Among others, we wouldn't have these two new releases. The former sees Danny Trejo fighting zombies in Alcatraz, while the latter features Sid Haig and involves a group of horror fans who find themselves in a scarily real simulation of their favorite classic zombie flick. Meanwhile, The Walking Dead is free on basic cable, and probably better than both.

Sherlock Holmes - If you wonder why I get cynical about Robert Downey Jr. sometimes, this new-to-Blu movie is why. Apparently unable to find any English actors for the quintessentially English role, Guy Ritchie got Downey to do his usual hyperactive routine, and I don't care how many people say it's truer to the book - it's still just boilerplate Downey with an accent, doing generic action heroics, figuring everything out by finding clues we couldn't possibly have known before. Holmes deserved better, and got it in Benedict Cumberbatch. That said, this was the first big baddie role for Mark Strong that I can remember, and he's been a welcome addition to the silver screen.

A Liar's Autobiography - Not sure this one is really coming out today, but if it is, it seems the most worthy of checking out; an animated film based on the audio-autobio by Monty Python's late Graham Chapman, featuring the voices of the other surviving members of the troupe as well. In theaters it was 3D, and didn't get great reviews, with many complaining that it focuses primarily on Chapman's mano-e-mano sexcapades. Nonetheless, how can you not be curious?

Okay, this is a bit of an experiment. Let's see how it goes.

Consider comments below an open thread to discuss last night's Walking Dead. Spoilers are allowed. Let's see if we can be funnier than Chris Hardwick.

Can you tell they lost a showrunner?