The Walking Dead Recap: Delicious Chocolate Buttons

Monday, March 9, 2015 at 6:30 am


If you write erotic fan fiction and you only see one episode this season - last night's is it.

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Todd McFarlane Plays With His Nipples, Tells Walking Dead "Bedtime Story"

Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:00 am

Phoenix Comicon

For the benefit of non-regular readers, "nipples" are what Todd McFarlane calls the studs on the Lego-like playsets his company makes. Sorry if you were misled by that.

(I'm really not sorry).

Point being, he has recorded a video of him narrating a diorama made up of said toys, and it is, as the kids say, totes adorbs. Instead of trying to be Mr. Know-It-All, he's totally regressing to a little kid playing with toys. And for a guy known for making toys that weren't meant to be played with for so long, he's pretty fun to listen to in child-mode.

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Before the Franchise Gets Cooties, You Can Crowdfund a Ghostbusters Game That's All Dudes

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 12:00 pm


Sorry, but it's hard not to be cynical, knowing full well that if the new all-female Ghostbusters takes off there will be merchandise galore, probably including a board game. And with that in mind, it's equally hard to ignore the fact that none of the proposed figurines for Cryptozoic's Kickstartering board game is a female character - no Dana, Janine, or Gozer in "prehistoric bitch" mode.

That said, it looks like it could be pretty fun - the crowdfunding aspect is apparently so that the game can come loaded with extras that a more corporate-mandated product would have to cut back on. It will apparently feature characters from the comics, movies and cartoons, and the designs are comic-based caricatures to avoid likeness issues.

For extra-realistic fun, declare the Spengler figure unplayable, hide the Venkman somewhere nobody can find him, and let whoever's playing Stantz hog the dice for about 20 years as he tells everyone else his various plans for winning, then fails to execute any of them.

Diamond Select's Zombie Sabretooth Action Figure, More Hideous Than Liev Schreiber in Fake Fangs

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 9:00 am


It's hideous in a good way, though.

Also value-added - unlike most oversized characters in Diamond Select's Marvel line, he'll come with a base, shaped like a crashed Goblin Glider. To the Victor the spoils, after all, leaving his jealous foes to go Howlett the moon.

Okay, okay, just one more...This zombie will sabre the taste of every brain, and that's the tooth.

The Walking Dead SPOILER Recap - Tyreese's Pieces

Monday, February 9, 2015 at 6:30 am


I like when directors are at the point where they've earned the right to get weird. Tonight was Greg Nicotero's turn, but I feel like there was a conflict between being as offbeat as he wanted and making sure viewers understood things - so the exposition was rubbed in a bit too much.

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That Walking Dead/Zombieland/Warm Bodies Spoof Movie You Never Knew You Didn't Want? It's Coming

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 8:00 am


Hey, guess what clever title they came up with for it.

Zombie Movie?

Good guess, but wrong.

Walking With Warm Zombie Bodies?

Another good guess, but those long hybrid titles aren't the hip thing anymore.

Get Stiff?

Stop. Believe it or not, that's actually funnier than anything this film came up with. No, it's actually called...

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The 14 Nerdy Things We Most Look Forward to in 2015

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 4:00 am


2014 ended three weeks ago, but our wrap-ups of 2014's best and worst ended yesterday. It's fair to say we consumed a lot of entertainment, enjoyed many things and had almost as much fun vocally destroying the things we didn't like so much. And as I hope was evident, not every Topless Robot contributor had the same ideas about what those things were.

Which is why, as we look to the year ahead, I've gathered together as many of our regular contributors as possible for this list, in which they all describe what they're geeked out about for 2015. From board games to RPGs, action figures to adaptations - and in one case, even the rumors we long to hear - it's a varied, insightful and excitable sneak peek.

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Fake "Banned" Trailer for Kickstartering 1996-Style Shooter Is EXTREEEEME!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 3:30 pm


Strafe bills itself as having "BLEEDING EDGE GRAPHICS AND GAMEPLAY, 1996©" with its polygonal visuals, non-stop shooting, ever more insane weapons and even an easter-egg Wolfenstein parody level. But the best part of all is the retro trailer - while absurd in content, it gets the visual style just right, and in a world of Robert Rodriguez fake-grindhouse movies that don't look like they ever got anywhere near film in a projector, the bad video rings true.

If only this were a retro console game - I'd give a lot to have a shooter that only uses ONE joystick and two strafe buttons like the old PS1 Doom.

Now - are you ready to get even more AWESOME and MEGA-CYBER EXREME than the boobs on a Liefeld Captain America? Read on...

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Terrifying CGI John Malkovich Stars in Call of Duty Zombie DLC

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 8:00 am


The new trailer has arrived for Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's Exo Zombies mode, included in the "Havoc" DLC pack, which stars Malkovich, Bill Paxton and Rose McGowan, in both voice and creepy, doll-like avatars.

Never mind the undead - I'm going to be having nightmares about that digital Malkovich advancing on me, singing "Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich..."

Though his line at the end of this trailer is pretty cool too (and NSFW).

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Epic Custom Lego Minecraft Castle Is Big Enough for Your Cat to Live in

Friday, January 16, 2015 at 12:30 pm


From a builder with the clever name of ZaziNombies, who appears to have quite the passion for Minecraft, comes a castle made primarily with square block to maintain the aesthetic, and multiple rooms, characters, displays and even a light-up fireplace.

Best of all, though - it doubles as a pet residence.


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