Topless Robot Self-Pleasure: We’ve Got One Million Page Views!
Hola, senors and senoritas! I wanted to take a moment from my “busy” blogging “work” to give myself a pat on the back, as well as the other fine men, women, and child laborers who have given Topless Robot life. See, late last night, we reached our one millionth page view! Yay! Jason Arango’s lovely and mean-spirited “10 Products Only Douchebags Buy” put us over the top. I’m quite pleased, since the site has only been around since mid-January, and I’ve only been taking it seriously since sometime last week.
Anyways, our one millionth viewer was “Joe,” who left this insightful comment about the “10 Products Only Douchebags Buy” article:
Wow. this is stupid. Everyone wears axe in highschool and spray on tan? maybe they like looking good instead of your whtie pasty nerd ass. and watches with big faces. maybe they can afford nicer versace watches unlike your poor ass plus that’s very nit picky.
go fuck yourself nerd.
Thanks for reading, Joe! We will go fuck ourselves! But not before we send you your prize?Johnny, show “Joe” what he’s won!
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.