I have no idea who Le Sexoflex are. Are they a real band? A fake band? A nerd band? No clue. I do, however, know that they are geniuses, and they are my heroes. Because they have crafted a song all about Dragon*Con, which contains the lines “Frodo Baggins / Your dick be draggin’ / All over the floor” and “My mom drove me all the way from Tuscon,” and THOSE AREN’T EVEN THE BEST LINES. This song is as filthy as it is nerdy, and it’s incredibly filthy, so if you’re stuck at work where you shouldn’t play such things, you should probably turn it up and play it anyways, because there’s no job or paycheck that’s possibly worth missing the glory of the “Marriott Cock Squat” for even a second.
I don’t ask you guys for much, but please, PLEASE — tell everyone you know about the majesty and the glory of this video. This deserves to be seen everywhere by everyone. I thank TR reader Thomas for bringing it into my life. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to watch it several hundred more times.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.