Avatar Trifecta: Sex, Death and George Lucas

I guarantee you guys are not as sick of Avatar as I am. And yet, as the article title indicates, Avatar news marches on implacably, with no consideration for us humans (much like we humans treat nature. Am I right?).

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?? Hustler is making an Avatar porn, titled This Ain’t Avatar XXX. That sound you just heard was thousands of furries orgasming inside their fox-person outfits. Don’t worry; they’re used to the mess. (Via SciFi Wire)

? Avatar has (finally) taken its first life. A 42-year-old Taiwanese man died during an Avatar screening of a stroke; the man had hypertension and it’s believed Avatar‘s 3-D visuals overstimulating his brain and caused it to hemorrhage. Joke 1: When I watched Avatar, I was worried my eyes my hemorrhage, but my brain was barely stimulated at all. Joke 2: Isn’t it more likely the man heard about the Hustler Avatar porno and his brain went into self-destruct mode? I wish mine had. Thanks to Konoha for the tip.

? George Lucas has said he’s wanted to re-release Star Wars in 3-D, and Avatar has proven to him the technology is ready. It’s coming. Get ready to bend over and take it, people. (Via FilmDrunk)

I am officially joining the ranks of those whom Avatar has utterly depressed. Maybe that’s why all those morons want to go to Pandora so bad. Because Avatar isn’t playing there.