?Who would have thought back in 1987 that Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi crime flick Robocop would spawn a mini-media empire? Not only did two movies follow it (with a fourth possibly in the works for 2011), but also a slew of videogames, cartoons and toylines. But Robocop’s legacy goes much deeper than that. He’s deservedly become an icon of 80s awesomeness which has lead to over 17,000 videos bearing his name popping up on YouTube (although that also includes a Kanye West song using the name as well). After more time than we’d like to admit being spent staring at lame mash-ups (does anyone care what would happen if Neo and Robocop fought and Yoda shows up for no reason?), we compiled this list of the 10 best, coolest, weirdest and lamest Robocop videos including everything from clip compilations to foreign commercials “borrowing” his beautiful visage. Sure, Topless Robot has featured a few of them before — they are the greatest, after all — but we figured it was high time to get them all in one place.
10) Robocop Anti-Drug PSA
After starring in a 102-minute PSA glorifying violence, human depravity, drugs and playing God wtih science, Peter Weller (the man behind the Robocop mask), decided to do a 30-second anti-drug PSA. Hey, good effort, plus he doesn’t pull any punches by throwing out some pretty hard core drug parlance.
9) Robocop’s 1-900 Phone Number Game
Does anyone know how these 1-900 phone “games” used to work? We were never allowed to call them (and if we were to risk it, we certainly wouldn’t have wasted our time calling Robocop). Perhaps allowing calls to go directly to Robocop wasn’t such a good idea though. Just think of how many prank calls he would have gotten. it’d be enough to drive a zombie-cyborg lawman crazy!
8) Robocop and the Ultra Police Toy Commercials
Remember when toy commercials were so rad you could hardly stand it? G.I. Joe would do battle in to-scale swamps, He-Man would throw down in elaborate Eternia sets and, of course, Robocop patrolled the city streets where no glass cube was safe from the forces of evil, no matter how highly and densely they were stacked. Truth in advertising folks, that’s what those Brits believe in!
7) Japanese Bug Spray Commercial
We’ve got no idea what this commercial’s all about. We’re ASSUMING it’s pest spray, but knowing those wacky Japanese folks, it could be exploding bug cologne applied with incredibly precise accuracy thanks to this Horatio Sanz-looking Robocop.
6) Korean Fried Chicken Commercial
Again, we’re not really sure what’s going on in this Japanese fried chicken commercial, but, contrary to the reactions of the family in it, we’re guessing it’s some kind of horror movie seeing as how Robocop comes out of the TV like that creepy girl in The Ring only to ask about fried chicken and then steal the family’s refrigerator! All it’s missing is water and kids making screeching noises.
5) Robocop’s Alternate “TV Friendly” Dialogue
Here you’ve got a pretty hilarious comparison between some of the actual R-rated movie dialogue and the overdubs that have been done for television broadcast. Persoanlly, we’re big fans of how “fuck you” can turn into “fa’ you” and “damn you.” Uh, we should probably mention that this one’s NSFW unless you’ve got headphones.
4) Japanese Ramen Noodles Commercial
The video that launched this entire list, you might think it’s the fact that Robocop’s hawking ramen or that, instead of packing heat in that built thigh holster of his, he’s got chopsticks. No, that all seems pretty standard now. We’re blown away by the small army of chubby guys wearing Robocop onesies rowing each other on the beach…while eating noodles of course. Oh and also the Robocop-themed dental gear. We’re guessing those are give-aways when you trade in enough UPCs, or possibly left over prizes for winning the 1-900 phone game.
3) A Tribute To Clarence Boddicker
They say that a hero’s only as good as his villains and damned if that’s not the case for Clarence Boddicker, the badass crime boss from the first Robocop movie. Sure a bunch of suits might have been running the show, actually creating Robocop and his robotic nemesis ED-209, but it was Boddicker and his goons who blew Officer Alex J. Murphy into so many tiny pieces that only mad science could bring him back together. Another NSFW gem, this compilation video is the next best thing to watching the actual movie again.
2) Pee-Wee Herman Meets Robocop
We’re not sure which is more shocking, the fact that Pee Wee Herman was invited to the 1989 Academy Awards or the fact that they actually asked him to say anything on stage. Dude talked to a chair and a globe all day. Oh yeah, he also has a run in with ED-209 and gets his ass saved by Robocop, which further proves our theory that everything’s better with robots. There’s even full-on pyrotechnics and wire work! This would be like if DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba! got to present an award only to have Iron Monger interrupt and Iron Man save the day. Hey, that sounds pretty cool actually…
1) Robocop Saves Sting
Professional wrestling may be weird, but it’s not really any different than superhero comics. You’ve got a bunch of muscle bound dudes and scantily clad women running around beating the crap out of each other. Team-ups, betrayal, good guys and heels are all par for the course. So, it shouldn’t have really been much of a surprise that wrestling branched out and did crossovers with other fictional characters. In this case, Robocop came in as Sting’s bodyguard for the WCW’s highly publicized Capital Combat ’90. At the time, Sting was recovering from an injury, so he couldn’t really wrestle. To get around this, the WCW had the Four Horsemen lock Sting in a “cage” only to have Robocop bust him out. So then there was a big fight, right? Nope, the Horsemen just sort of shambled away while Robocop and Sting look longingly at each other.