Video Games

How to Go to Hell Playing a Videogame


Red Dead Redemption came out yesterday, the Western Grand Theft Auto thing by Rockstar. In an article, I mentioned that in the game you actually had the freedom to kill nuns, much like you could kill prostitutes in GTA. Specifically, I said this:

The pre-manufactured scandal appears to be that your character can tie a
nun to railroad tracks and watch her get run over; as soon as mass
media gets a hold of this they’ll go batshit insane and say the game
forces players to murder nuns to win the game without ever examining
further, and Rockstar will denounce it all, despite the fact that they
knew this exact thing would/could happen.

Well, that’s until I saw the above fan video, where a couple of kids in fact hog-tied a nun in the game and threw her on the train tracks just before an arriving locomotive… and got an Achievement for it. Yes, the game gives you an Achievement for brutally murdering a nun. it’s worth noting that Rockstar has killed several online video of this Achievement, almost if THEY DIDN’T WANT PEOPLE KNOWING YOU CAN MURDER NUNS IN THE GAME DESPITE THE FACT YOU GET A FUCKING ACHIEVEMENT FOR IT.

Rockstar, I’m not one of those guys who is condemning you to hell for rewarding players for killing nuns (there will be plenty of those people later, when they pick up the story an inexplicable three months later). But when the media frenzy comes, you fuckers better own it, because you obviously knew and approved and wanted this to be part of the game — and you wanted the infamy that will likely come from it. If you deny it, you are spineless pussies, case closed. So own it. That’s all I’m saying.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.