Indiana Jones and the Bull@#$% Sequel Rumors

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A lot of you have been flooding the TR mailbox with a certain article from the New Zealand news website Stuff. Mainly, this:

Indiana Jones 5 will begin shooting next year, and much of
the plot line will be centred around the Bermuda Triangle, an area over
the North Atlantic Ocean where a number of aircraft are said to have
disappeared.

“George (Lucas) and Steven (Spielberg) have been working on a script
and it’s almost there,” a source explained.

…

Movie bosses have assured fans the film will stay true to the
series’ roots, and won’t contain lots of state-of-the-art special
effects.

“Shia LaBeouf has a central role again as Indy’s son but this will
be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather than the CGI
efforts of the last movie,” the source added.

This is bullshit. Sorry, guys. I know this isn’t as ludicrous a rumor as those British rags seem to prefer, like the ghost of Brittany Murphy will be playing Catwoman in Batman 3 or whatever, but I promise you some New Zealand news site doesn’t have better Hollywood sources than Variety or the Hollywood Reporter or all the other news sites, trade magazines and shows that survive exclusively on movie news like this. That’s why the sources in these stories are always unnamed. Because they’re made up.

Furthermore, say Stuff really does have a source that no other publication in the world has — does it matter? It took more 20 years for Indiana Jones 4 to get made, and lord knows how many times Lucas changed his mind on a plot. Even if Lucas did want to set Indy 5 in the Bermuda Triangle, there’s absolutely no guarantee that he’s wouldn’t change his mind until the movie officially starts production, and god only knows when that’ll be.

Last but certainly not least: you want to know how I’m certain this is bullshit? When they claim the movie won’t use CG special effects. If you think Lucas would really make a movie without using CG, please email me, because I have an exclusive copy of the Star Wars: Episode 7 script to sell you.