Dear fellow members of the E.T. Haters Club: Do not watch this video. On your life. You will never fucking sleep again. It’s E.T. footage recut to make the movie look like the horror flick we all know it is, no matter how beloved some people pretend it is. Frankly, the added narration cards actually make this trailer less scary — if it had just been the music and the footage, I’d have literally shit myself to death in terror before ever typing a word of this. For sending me this tip, Kevin W. can go straight to hell.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.