The Unofficial Avatar Fleshlight Exists, and I May Never Stop Weeping

If, like so many people apparently have since the premiere of James Cameron’s Avatar, you’ve been wondering how you could fuck a blue cat person, do I have some good news for you. Fleshlight is releasing the Alien, or the Avatar/Avatar porn-inspired Fleshlight. It’s a blue flashlight you can stick your dick into. But why should I bother explain it when there’s a perfectly safe-for-work commercial for it?

First of all, let me admit that that commercial is fucking hilarious. Second, I honestly don’t know why the Alien Fleshlight isn’t fuzzy; that would seem to be to be half the reason people want to fuck cat people. Third, and most importantly, if you buy this I hate you and if I could destroy the world in order to prevent people from fucking blue Fleshlights while imagining that were goddamn Na’Vi I would it in a fucking heartbeat. No thanks to all jillion of you who sent this heartbreaking news in.